


Stardust

by kaybohls



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Accidental Use of the Force, Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Arranged Marriage, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben Solo is a generous lover, Bittersweet Ending, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Dancing, Emperor Hux, Empress Rey, Enforcer Kylo Ren, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluffy Ending, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Lightning, House Flydam, Hux is Not Nice, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Jealous Hux, Jedi Ben Solo, Jedi Temple, Marriage of Convenience, Oral Sex, Past Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Poisoning, Post-Battle horniness, Prince Ben Solo, Protective Kylo Ren, Redeemed Ben Solo, References to the Jedi Council, Repressed Memories, Rey needs a teacher, Reylo - Freeform, Reylo nicknames, Romantic Angst, Romantic Fluff, Romantic Gestures, Room of a Thousand Fountains, Sexual Tension, Sexy Sparring Lessons, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Tension Filled Tie Silencer Rides, The Dark Side of the Force, The Force, The People's Empress, Unhappy marriage, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Young Ben Solo, oh no there’s only one seat, sexy sparring
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2019-05-22
Packaged: 2019-06-12 16:44:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 17
Words: 151,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15344100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaybohls/pseuds/kaybohls
Summary: Rey has spent as long as she can remember alone in the barren wasteland that is Jakku.  With no memory of who she is and how she got there, she hears murmurs of a voice that sounds like home and dreams of the day when she can get away.Then one day, a handsome stranger comes barreling into her life and makes her an offer she can't refuse. Will this end up being more than she bargained for?





	1. The Desert Flower

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **update 01/03/19**
> 
> It’s been a while since this first chapter has gone up and my writing has changed a lot since then. I did a deep edit and fixed a lot of the issues that were hanging around.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! An update will be up by the end of the week! I can’t wait to go on this amazing journey with you all!!
> 
> -KB xoxo

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/144005946@N02/44552116722/in/dateposted-public/)

 

Today is the day of her wedding. 

She stands alone in a plush sitting room, staring out at the busy Coruscant landscape in the distance. Her mind is a frantic blur, focused far and away, anywhere but here while her nerves consume her. She glances down at her massive wedding gown and runs her fingers gingerly down the shimmering fabric. It was made for her from the most luxurious shimmersilk and lace, the finest in the galaxy. Turning away from the window, she spies her reflection in the full-length mirror across the room and hardly recognizes herself. 

The young woman staring back at her wide-eyed in the mirror is a vision of royalty. Her eyes are lined with the blackest kohl accented with a thick streak of gold under her lower lashes, from the corner of her eyes to the tail of her brows. Her mouth had been painted a blood red with a delicate gold line running down the center of her bottom lip. 

Her gown hugs the line of her collarbone and sweeps down to the floor in a full skirt that trails ten feet behind her. She moves her hands along the sheer fabric of the bodice with a nervous shiver, tracing her fingers across the delicate, sparkling lace that strategically covered her breasts and her bare back. She runs her hand up the bodice, over the lace and up to the ornate headdress atop her head. 

Elegant arcing circles framed her ornately braided hair, starting at the top of her ears and across her forehead. Each circle was gradually larger in size until it looked like a gilded halo of gold framing her head that lead to a shimmering veil cascading down her back past the end of her train. She traced the edge of a crimson teardrop jewel dangling from her ear, causing the enormous stone on her left hand to catch the light and her eye. 

The blood-red Corusca gem on her hand gleamed in the light like it had a fire burning inside it. The stone itself was worth as much as an entire luxury high rise in Galactic City and was haloed by several smaller yet sparkling white stones that formed the band hugging her finger. The ring weighed heavy on her hand and on her mind as she remembered the promise she made and the deal she struck with the man who bestowed it upon her.

He had been unfailingly kind to her from the very beginning, taking a chance on a stranger: a girl from nowhere with no one. This man had been patient with her as she was molded from the scrappy desert scavenger into the elegant stranger that stood in before her in the mirror. Who was she to deserve this chance? 

She was no one special, that was for sure. 

“What the hell am I doing?” she exclaimed in a panicked voice, pacing the wide room the best she could with such a substantial amount of fabric that trailed her every step. She sat down at the vanity table that was perched in a corner as gracefully as she could, careful to not muss herself. She gingerly picked up a delicate silver chain wrapped around a small crystal shard. Rolling the crystal over through her fingers, her heart ached for a family she’s never known. This crystal was the one souvenir of a past lost to time and the sands of Jakku. Those who helped transform her into the stranger in the mirror took it from her, saying that it wasn’t appropriate and insisted that it wouldn’t send the “right message to the right people.” 

Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath to center herself with her prized memento tucked into her hand. A distant memory of dark nights in the wild desert flooded her mind. Those nights when she was hungry, alone, and terrified, she would imagine a soft voice and kind, brandy-colored eyes murmuring to her, 

_Don’t be afraid. I am here. I will always be with you even if we are apart. I’ll follow you across the galaxy, forever, my Stardust._

Her eyes fluttered open, letting out a heavy sigh. Even though she is afraid. Even though she wants to run, there is something deep inside her that is telling her that she needs to stay. 

It feels like destiny.

 

_____________________

 

Rey had spent as long as she could remember alone in the scorched badlands of Jakku. It wasn’t a place that many people would chose to live their lives. Most of those who ended up here were either running from outstanding debts or were dropped like waste from a starship and drifted into the closest atmosphere, never to escape the sands again. The only thing of consequence that happened here was The Battle of Jakku, where Darth Vader turned against his master and joined forces with The Rebel Alliance to fight what remained of the Empire. The evidence of the historic battle was scattered on the surface of the planet in a graveyard of massive starships. 

These starships were Rey’s salvation. 

An eternity ago, Rey remembered wandering into Niima Outpost after days lost and alone in the scorching desert. Desperately thirsty with an aching belly, she drank the first water she could find. The water from a happabore trough was hot, smelly, and filthy but she couldn’t care. Her thirst was quenched for now, but her stomach still twisted in hunger. The little version of her wandered aimlessly around the market, begging for anyone to help her but everyone she approached either refused or ignored her pleas. While she wandered around the outpost, she noticed a line of grubby looking people hauling junk to a fish-like person behind a caged window in a small, metal blockhouse. It seemed like her best choice, so Rey joined the line to see if the blobfish might be able to help her. 

When it was finally her turn, she stepped up to the window, stretching her toes up as far as she could reach and yet was barely able to brush the counter with her fingertips.

“Next!’ a voice bellowed out.  
“I, ahm, can you please help me, sir?” she whimpered, her voice small and shaky.  
“What? Who’s there? Stand so I can see you!” he shook.  
“Please,” she cried, “I’m so hungry…” 

The Crolute came closer to the window and sneered down at her,

“That’s not how things work here, girl. You must bring me something of value, then I will give you portions.”  
“W-w-where? I don’t have any money,” she whispered.  
“Scavenge for it the same way everyone else does here. What makes you so special that you shouldn’t work for it? Now get out of my sight before I change my mind about trading with you at all!” he snickered and slammed the window down in her face.

Feeling defeated, she trudged away from the outpost. Rey had no idea where she was going but a feeling inside her told her that the direction she headed was the right way to go.

After hours of walking through the ever-changing sands, Rey’s feet were nearly burnt and blistered. The duel moons of Jakku were starting to rise as the sun hovered ever closer to the horizon. The winds started to pick up, whipping the hair around her face. She glanced behind her to where the wind is rising from and saw a terrifying wall of sand amassing in the distance. 

“This can’t be good…” her stomach churned in fear, her hunger momentarily forgotten and the mysterious feeling in her bones told her that it was time to run. 

Sprinting as fast as her blistered feet can carry her, she struggled to stay on her feet as her worn boots barely held together. The sands began to blow in crueler and harsher waves, making it difficult for her to see. 

_Is that something in the distance?_

She ran and ran until the object in the distance began to take shape. A rectangular vessel materialized in front of her, half buried in the sand. She quickly found a hole in the belly and threw herself inside and away from the punishing storm outside. 

The world became abruptly still.

Rey brushed the sand off her face, squinting to get a better look at her surroundings. It appeared someone used to live here but there was a heavy layer of sand that covered almost everything, making it clear that no one had inhabited the space in quite some time. She brushed the loose sand from her hair and took stock of her surrounding. A handful of blue barrels were tucked away behind a torn curtain and a stand that looked like it could be used to cook something sat in the center of the space with a small box that housed thin packages of green patties and a white speckled powder. 

Rey investigated the blue barrels first. Using her small hands to brush off as much sand as she could from the tops, she used all the strength she could muster to pry open the lid. 

_Stars! Water!_

She dipped her hands into the barrel with fervor and lifted the liquid into her mouth as rapidly as she could, sucking up mouthfuls of water in great gulps. 

Her thirst sufficiently quenched, Rey tore open one of the thin parcels and took a cautious sniff. It didn’t smell the best, but she was sure it was food. She dug around and found a small dish, filled with water and mixed the powder in with her finger. Stunned, she watched the powder soak up the water and puff up into a delicious-looking bread. 

She snatched it up and took the biggest bite she could muster. Chewing quickly, she snared another bite, then another until the roll was gone. Ravenous, Rey was desperate to have more but her judgment, so much wiser than a girl her age would normally have, told her that she needed to save the packets until she could do as the Fishblob told her to: scavenge.

Her hunger momentarily satiated, Rey took a closer look around. There was a smattering of rusted parts and a few tools in scattered around. On a makeshift shelf, she discovered short metal rod and runs her fingers along the smooth material, nearly pricking her finger on the pointed tip.

Overcome with an idea, she grabbed a crate and dragged it noisily to a large, bare wall. Stretching up on the very tips of her small toes, she notched a short line into the metal.

“Day one,” she whispered miserably as her stomach turned in fear of the unknown.

How did she get here? Where is her family? She had no memory of how she arrived in the desert. Just a collection of scrapes and bruises along with a crystal hanging from a silver chain around her neck and a faint picture in her mind of gentle brown eyes and a tender voice whispering in her ear.

Rey let out a stuttering cry as she was suddenly seized by an overwhelming feeling of loneliness and despair. Tearing down one of the cloth hangings from the wall, she wraps herself inside it like a second skin to shield herself from the rapidly cooling air. She wandered to a little nook and arranged herself into a ball, tucking her legs up to her chin and to make herself as small as possible

She took a quivering breath as the tears came. Sobs quaked her tiny body as she hears the voice whispering in her ear, 

_It’s okay, I’m here. I will always be with you, even if we are apart. I will follow you across the galaxy, forever, my Stardust._

 

______________________

 

The memories of that broken little girl feel like a lifetime ago and hard lessons are learned quickly when you’re alone in the unforgiving desert. 

Don’t stay out past dark. That’s when the nightwatcher worms come. Native to the planet, they were massive, worm-like creatures that burrowed in the Jakku sands and hunted when the dual moons rose, preying upon everything. From the junk littering the starship graveyard, to droids, and even humans. Rey had witnessed one of these sandborers snatch up a fellow scavenger right before her eyes one day when the sun had become too low and she vowed to always be safely tucked away in her AT-AT before dark since then. 

Stay out of the way of the Teedo, a sentient reptilian species that was native to Jakku who prowled the barren wastelands. They were fiercely territorial and would fight other scavengers for a find if they thought that the scrap was valuable enough. 

Beware of the wrath of R’iia, the goddess the Teedo worshiped. They believed that the vicious sandstorms were her breath, X’us’R’iia. The Teedo thought that the goddess was wrathful and hostile and according to them, she was responsible for The Battle of Jakku and would be the cause of future famine and drought. 

Stretch your water and portions. When you must trade for food, your meal isn’t always guaranteed. If Unkar Plutt didn’t see value in what you brought him, you didn’t eat.

Most importantly, never depend on anyone except for yourself.

Rey had spent the last thirteen years fighting each day to survive. Each day, scratching a new mark into the wall of her humble AT-AT home. 

The first few years were the most difficult. There were many nights that Rey went to sleep hungry and so many days spent learning what parts had value and which did not. She survived the first few weeks on the portions she discovered in her AT-AT and then found work gathering scrap for other scavengers who would give her a share of their portions for what she collected. She was a talented climber and her small size made it easy for her to slip into tight spots where other scavengers couldn’t fit, making her a valuable asset to ambitious scavengers. 

When she first found her home in the abandoned AT-AT, she wasn’t sure how she would be able to make a home in the barren wilderness of the desert planet. She believed every day that she would fail until she stumbled upon a lonely green spinebarrel flower growing out of a smattering of sand that had drifted into her walker. 

The tiny flower gave her so much hope. If something as small and fragile as this flower could survive here on Jakku, so could she. 

Rey felt strong in her newfound determination, but the loneliness was never far away, especially at night. The howling winds of the X’us’R’iia haunted her sleep. It was in those terrifyingly lonely moments that the voice would visit her. The promise was always the same. 

_Don’t be afraid. I am here. I will always be with you even if we are apart. I’ll follow you across the galaxy, forever, my Stardust._

Every time the fear and loneliness would start to consume her, the voice would come and she would wrap the treasured feeling it gave her around her heart like a warm blanket. It happened often enough during the first few months that Rey came to depend on the voice to soothe her into a fitful sleep. She began to hope that one day, the owner of that voice would come and whisk her away from her grim life in the desert. 

The days turned into weeks, the weeks into months, and the months into years. The voice visited less frequently as time passed by and eventually, grew silent altogether. 

No longer a little girl, Rey had become a talented mechanic, pilot, and was even able to hold her own in a fair fight with a quarterstaff that had gained her quite the reputation in Niima Outpost. 

She developed a knack for languages and even built her own speeder out of parts she found buried in the wrecks of the starship graveyard.

Over the years, some of the other scavengers were kind to her, but most others were not and even thought of her as their property. Rey came to realize that while some of her fellow scavengers needed her help, she didn’t need any of them. No one took this lonely little girl seriously. Fueled by stubbornness, she refused to fail. 

By the time she was a teenager, she was Unkar Plutt’s best scavenger. With a mysterious sixth sense, she knew where the best parts were tucked away, and she had the skills and the tenacity to get to them. She had earned a slight amount of respect from the Crolute because she always brought him the very finest parts. By being Unkar’s favorite along with the reputation she gained with her quarterstaff, most of the other scavengers left her alone. Still, the odd few, usually new scavengers who didn’t know her, or those who were particularly desperate, would try to steal from her and would learn a hard lesson at the end of a blunt staff. 

Today had been a good day. Rey had spent many hours combing through the skeleton of the behemoth star destroyer, Ravager. She was able to find a gravatic sensor, a few power flux connectors, and some valuable power coils. Plutt could make many credits off of unsuspecting visitors to Niima Outpost looking to make repairs on their ship and he would reward her with so many portions she could very well eat for a month. She even stumbled upon a fragile nightbloomer on her way back to her walker. 

_This had to be a sign of good things to come._

At first light the next day, Rey loaded her speeder with her valuable finds and began the long ride to Niima Outpost. She arrived by midmorning and hopped down from her seat to start unloading her cargo,

“Kriffing hell,” Rey swore. She had left her quarterstaff back in her AT-AT. She gave an exasperated sigh and shook her head. This better not be a sign of how this day is going to go.

As Rey hauled her net of parts across the sand towards the cleaning station, she caught sight of the distinct vertical black wings of an Upsilon-class command shuttle looming over the rooftop of the outpost, making her brows come together in a puzzled stare, 

_If the First Order is here, it can’t mean anything good…_

She knew that it was best to keep to herself, so she shrugged off the shuttle and sat down at a table to continue her day as planned. She brushed a thin layer of sand away from the worn surface, put on a pair of heavy gloves and picked up a brush to start scrubbing furiously at a power coil. She needed to get all the grime off to ensure that Plutt saw it for the value it truly held. While she cleaned, shuddered with the feeling that she was being watched. Lifting her gaze, she locked eyes with a scavenger she didn’t know. He glanced down at the parts on her table, swiftly diverted his eyes and walked away.

_He must be a new scavenger, he obviously hasn’t learned to mind his own business yet._

Disregarding the new scavenger, Rey continued to go about her business, loading her parts back into her net to drag over to Unkar Plutt’s concession stand. Her stomach twisted in anticipation of finding out how many portions she’d be able to receive, hoping that it would be a massive amount. 

Unexpectedly, a strange sensation crept into her mind, sending an electric shiver across her body. A magnetic pull drew her focus to a figure standing on the other side of the outpost. Tall and imposing, the person was clothed from head to toe in black. He wore a surcoat that swept down to the toes of his black boots, ribbed arm guards that hugged the curves of his muscular arms. A tattered cowl was slung across his shoulders with a dark hood drawn over his head. On top of the entire ensemble was a striking black helm with a delicate set of silver bands surrounding the narrow visor. The dark stranger was walking with a long, loping gait, fists clenched at his sides. 

The moment Rey laid eyes on him, he stopped in his tracks and turned his head in her direction. If it weren’t for his mask, their eyes would have met. Yet, somehow, she could feel his eyes burning into her.

A fire burst into life in her chest. What was this, who was this dark stranger that was making her feel this way? Was this feeling fear? Curiosity? Or maybe it was something else.

Rey’s attention was focused on the dark stranger when without warning, a pair of strong arms grabbed her from behind. She reacted quickly, thrashing her legs out in front of her as hard she could muster to try and get the leverage to get away. The arms gripped her tighter still so Rey did the only thing she could think of at the moment. She opened her mouth and tore into her attacker’s arm with her teeth. The offending individual yelped in pain, releasing their hold. She spun around and swung her fist towards her target. Her knuckles collided with his mouth with a thump, her hand instantly throbbing from the force of her blow. She pressed her mouth to her aching hand and looked up to see the face of her attacker. 

It was the new scavenger who had been eying her earlier. He chuckled darkly and spat out a mouthful of blood,

“So, you’re a feisty one, aren’t you?’ he sneered. He put his fingers in his mouth and gave a loud whistle, “I’ve got some friends who are interested in your haul. Maybe they’d be interested in something else of yours as well.”

“I’d like to see you try,” she gloated.

What a day to leave her prized quarterstaff behind. 

Rey could have taken this scum on her own without her staff, but the man had called over four of his associates and they surrounded her within seconds. The scavenger’s first partner swung at Rey’s face. She quickly ducked and kicked, her boot connecting to his ribs with a crack. She turned to lay another swift kick to her next assailant when a set of calloused knuckles collided painfully with her brow, making her fall in a heap onto the sand. Blinded by pain, Rey tried to pick herself up from the sand when a foot connected with her ribs. Then again. And again. She gasped for breath, priming herself for the next blow.

It never comes. 

Looking up from behind her bloodied lashes, she sees the dark stranger standing over her like a rabid dog. His massive, gloved fist collides with the jaw of the first goon who in turn hits the ground and doesn’t move. The next attackers come towards him and the dark knight throws his hand out and tosses the scum into the air invisibly and violently as if they had been ripped backward by an invisible rope. The thugs land with a sickening thump on the sand. The stranger glowers at the two remaining scavengers with his hand outstretched,

“ _You will turn around and walk into the desert and never return to this place_ ,” a deep, modulated voice reverberated through the mask.

“I will turn around and walk into the desert and never return to this place,” both men murmured, their eye suddenly blank. They wordlessly turned away, stepping over their friends to ramble out into the barren wastelands of Jakku.

Rey coughed, spitting a glob of blood out of her mouth and onto the hot sand,

“What did you just do?’ she questioned with unease. 

The stranger stayed silent, clenching his fists at his sides as the rise and fall of his broad shoulders slowed to a normal pace.

She gingerly drew herself up from the sand and took a staggering breath, wincing at the sharp pain in her chest. She had more than likely broken a couple of her ribs. 

She glanced up curiously at the dark knight who still had his back turned to her. He turned his head to the side briefly to look at her before speaking,

“Do you make a habit out of this, getting your ass kicked?’ he interrogated, sounding displeased.

“What? You can’t be serious! I was completely outnumbered, not to mention I was unarmed! I can hold my own in a fight just fine, thank you very much,” she snapped. Who was this person who had the gall to talk to her this way? 

“I’m sure you can, sweetheart,” he scoffed.

She glared at him, appalled at his audacity to call her that word, 

“Listen here, Bucketbrain,” she started but he held up a hand to silence her. He seemed to be listening to something or someone from inside his mask.

“Come with me, there’s someone who’d like to speak to you,” muttered in a clipped tone. 

“I…what? No, I’m not going anywhere with you. I’ve had quite enough dealing with strangers today.”

The knight’s fists clenched in frustration. He took a deep breath and continued impatiently,

“Look, I see how things run here. I need to give you something valuable in return, right? Fine. I’ll offer you a blaster and a holopad if you agree to come with me for just a few minutes. It certainly looks like a decent blaster would come in handy on any more days you have like today. I won’t be here to save your skin next time.”

“You couldn’t pay me with all the blasters in the galaxy to come with you, e chu ta…” she spat.

“Oh my, what a potty mouth you have on you, your worship. Fine, since you can protect yourself so well, how about no blaster and I just ask you nicely?”

He was goading her, that was for sure. She so badly wanted to tell him to kriff-off and leave her alone. But there it was. That feeling in the back of her mind. The magnetizing pull. Something somehow was telling her that she shouldn’t walk away.

“Five minutes. Blaster and holopad first,” she agreed, “and two energy cells!”

He tilted his head as he considered the additional terms to the bargain. 

“Agreed.”

The dark stranger reached out a gloved hand and pulled Rey up from the sand, sealing their agreement.

 

________________

 

The upsilon-class shuttle belonged to the dark stranger’s associate. Rey followed him up the ramp and into the belly of the ship. Sitting inside on a long plush seat was a young red-headed man focused on a holopad in his lap with his legs crossed gracefully in front of him. 

When they approached, the man looked up as his gave them a sly smile. His defined brow raised in interest as he stood to greet them,

“Ah, Lord Ren, who is this stunning desert flower you have brought me?” he asked with a posh accent. He stood nearly as tall as the dark knight behind her, dressed in a neatly pressed black uniform. He was impeccably clean shaven with a sharp, square jaw and pronounced cheekbones. His red hair was neatly combed, with long sideburns framing his ears. His ice blue eyes sparkled as he smiled down at her,

“I’m Rey,” she murmured, unsure of the newest stranger before her. She inwardly cursed to herself. Her nightbloom had lied. It wasn’t a sign of good things to come but it sure was a sign of strange things to come instead. 

“Ah, Rey. Such a pleasure to make the acquaintance of such a captivating beauty hidden away here in the desert. My name is Armie,” he gave her a kind smile as he reached out with his bare hand to capture hers and brush a delicate kiss across the knuckles. 

A confused giggle erupted out of her,

“I’m sorry, but what am I doing here? I really should be getting back to my speeder before it walks off in a hundred different pieces.”

The new stranger, Armie, clapped his hands together cheerfully,

“Ah, yes! Let’s get down to business, shall we? Please, sit here with me, Rey,” he kept her hand in his and guided her to the long black seat he was sitting on only moments ago. The dark knight, “Lord Ren” as his associate called him, stood like a sentinel at the top of the ramp.

Rey sets down the bag with her promised loot next to her feet. Armie arranged himself so that he was angled towards her, her hand still in his,

“I understand this situation is a little, odd, but please bear with me. I am in a position of power within The First Order. I have certain, shall we say, advisors that dispense advice to me every so often. While I am a young man, I am not getting any younger and I have been advised that it is time for me to get married,” he chuckled.

“Um, well, congratulations?’ Rey said, confused, “But what does this have to do with me?”

“As it happens, I was on my way to meet some prospective suitors when our warp vortex stabilizer suffered some damage. That’s how we ended up here. Jakku was the closest inhabited planet where we might find the right parts to repair my shuttle. We arrived here, and that’s when I saw you, my dear. I saw you and knew I didn’t have any more need to see any of those other girls.”

“Me?” she laughed loudly, “What’s so special about me?”

“You, Rey, are a real girl. All the other prospects I have lined up for me are stuffy and know nothing about what the galaxy is like outside the luxurious comforts of the core worlds. I need someone authentic. Someone who understands what it is like to be one of the people.”

“You don’t know a thing about me,” she shook her head with skepticism, “how could you want to marry me if you’ve only just met me?”

“Give me a chance to prove to you that this is the right choice. Come with me to my ship and spend a few days. Let’s get to know each other. Let someone else take care of you for a change. No scavenging, no sand, no worrying about someone hurting you,” he reached up and gently brushed the deepening bruise along her brow bone, “Please, let me help you.”

“I can’t just leave. I’ve built a life here. This is all I have ever known,” she shrugs, standing to leave, “I don’t know how to live any other way.”

Armie caught her hand and stood, pulling her closer to him. Mere inches away from each other, she looked up into his pleading blue eyes as her breath hitched sharply in her throat. She had never been this close to a man before. 

“Take a day to think about it. Here, take this,” he reached into his pocket and slipped a small comlink into her hands, “We will stay in orbit for the next few days. Please, just consider my offer of coming to stay. Let me get you away from this place, even if it’s just for a little while,” he pleaded.

“I will,” Rey murmured, still looking into his eyes. He smiled down at her confidently and ghosted another kiss across her knuckles. 

She accepted the comlink from Armie, along with the loot she was promised by Lord Ren. Striding past Lord Ren at the top of the ramp, she hesitated for a moment,

“Thank you,” she whispered softly, “Thank you for helping me out there.”

His turned towards her, fists clenched at his sides and gave a terse nod. His expression was completely unreadable because of the mask and Rey wished she could see who he was hiding underneath it. 

“I will see you soon, Desert Flower, I’m sure of it,” Armie called to her, “Can you feel that? It feels like destiny.”

Rey offered an unsure smile and turned to walk down the ramp of the shuttle. She makes her way back to where the fight occurred, discovering that the unconscious assailants were gone and so are her scavenged parts.

_Kriffing hell._

Disappointed, she headed back to her speeder, stashed the comlink on her belt and jetted off towards home. 

 

________________

 

She didn’t make it far before the moons began to rise and the X’us’R’iia blew in. The storm was one of the most brutal she had seen in ages. The biting sand stung on her skin and burned in the wound on her brow. Rey gunned the twin-turbojet engines of her speeder to try and outrun the relentless, whipping sand. The engines roared, jolting forward momentarily before the speeder sputtered to a stop. Swearing loudly, she banged her fist on the damned thing. The conditions were too poor for her to try and repair it here, she would have to try and make it the rest of the way on foot and pray that her speeder was still here in the morning. 

Hauling her loot given to her by Lord Ren with her, she trudged through the drifting sand towards her AT-AT.

It felt like hours had passed before Rey stumbled into the belly of her walker, collapsing on the floor. Painful coughs racked her body as she struggled to take a sand-less breath with her damaged ribs. She pulled out what remained of the trio of buns that she had tied in her hair for as long as she can remember. Rey tries to shake the sand out of her hair to no avail. What she wouldn’t give for a real ‘fresher with water, not like the sonic ‘freshers in Niima Outpost that you must trade portions to use. Eat or be clean. The choice was easy for her.  
Rey grilled up some veg meat and mixed up a polystarch roll. Thankful that she was home and not lost out in the sands, she ate her portion and then went to the wide, metal wall to scratch in the day’s mark next to all the others. She had lost count over the years and didn’t even know why she bothered with it anymore. She sighed wistfully. What would it be like to live a life away from here? Armie’s offer was tempting but it didn’t change the fact that the man was a stranger to her. 

He said she could come to get to know him. He wouldn’t be a stranger then, would he? He was so kind to her and she’d never had a man be that close to her before. It was thrilling, to say the least, and it took her breath away. Is that what being attracted to someone felt like?

In the secluded world of her walker, she couldn’t help but wonder what would it be like to not be alone anymore. It was ever so tempting to have a someone to call home.

Rey shook her head to try and snap out of the daydream. She’s had those daydreams before and it only led to a broken little girl. She’s grown now. She knows better. 

Don’t depend on anyone but yourself.

Rey crashed down from her daydream of a different life and climbed into her hammock to drift into a fitful sleep.

 

__________________

 

_Everything is chaos. Blaster fire echoes in and around the great temple’s pyramid. Screams fill the air and fire spreads through the jungle. She is a child again. She is terrified and wailing into someone’s shoulder as strong arms held her tightly. A desperate sounding voice pleads,_

_“BEN. You must leave. You aren’t safe here. They are here for our family, please, you have to go!’_

_“I can’t leave her. I can’t do it!”_

_“Here, give her to me, I will take her with me. I swear she will be safe.”_

_“No, I can’t. I promised her that I would protect her.”_

_“She will be in more danger if she stays with you and you know it.”_

_“My son, please, you have my word. I swear I will make sure she leaves this planet safely.”_

_Something is horribly, terribly wrong. A voice murmurs frantically in her ear,_

_“Don’t be afraid, sweet girl. I will find you, I swear! I don’t care how long it takes. Just remember, I will always be with you no matter if we are apart. No matter how far. I would cross the galaxy for you, my Stardust,” he kisses her hair, wipes away her tears, and smiles at her with tear-filled honey-brown eyes._

_Without warning, she is ripped from his arms. She reaches out for him as he is pulled further away. Their grief-stricken screams echo amongst the blaster fire. He is pushed into a shuttle as an explosion rocks the space between them, turning the world white._

_“Stardust!”_

Rey woke with a start, covered in sweat. She reached up to her face, wiping hot tears from her eyes. That voice was so achingly familiar. The dream felt so real, an echo of a distant life. 

 

____________

 

As daylight began to break outside the walker, Rey tried to shake the heartbreak and fear she felt from her dream. There are real things to do and to worry about. Not a memory of an old echo of a voice. She pulled on her boots and trudged outside into the bright morning sun. 

It wasn’t long before she found what’s left of her prized speeder. Rey stifled a heartbroken sob. It had taken years of scavenging to find the right parts, but she had built the speeder with her own two hands. Now it sat in the Jakku desert, torn to shreds by the competing scavengers.

Taking a deep breath to steady herself, she made an impulsive decision. 

_Enough with this kriffing sand bucket. I need a change of scenery._

Rey pulled the comlink off her belt and pressed the call button. A cool, appealing voice answered,

“Ah, it is my desert flower! Are you ready to be whisked away, my dear?’


	2. The Bastard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We learn a little more about Huxy-Wuxy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continuing with some history. I tried so hard to get through this chapter because I am dying to tackle Chapter 3! I am a glutton for emotional punishment, so buckle in with me folks. <3

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/144005946@N02/44552114952/in/dateposted-public/)

Today was the day of his wedding.

Today was the day where his fate would be sealed. He’d marry this girl and the people of the galaxy would finally love him.

 

Him.

 

Armitage Hux. Emperor of the First Order. 

 

He stood proudly in front of a mirror in his quarters, adjusting the gold laurel wreath that hovered over his auburn hair. He dusted off his white suit and straightened the long white cowl that was draped over his shoulders and slung over his arm. Pinned to his chest was a shining, gold First Order emblem. 

Today, he was gaining an empress. A girl of the people that they absolutely adored. She had only been known to them for a few months, and yet she was entirely beloved. This girl wasn’t even his wife and the people of the galaxy already referred to her as “The People’s Empress”.

 

He rolled his eyes. If only it had been that easy for him. 

 

He was fond of the girl, he could maybe even love her one day. When he brought her to the palace, she was wide-eyed with wonderment. The poor thing had grown up all alone in the remnants of an old AT-AT leftover from the disappointing last days of The Empire. He enjoyed doting on her and showing her all the comforts that his world had to offer her. She was practically feral when he found her on Jakku. Those scavenger qualities were ironed out of her quickly. Armitage was rather impressed how quickly she turned into someone worthy of the title of Empress.

 

It had to have been destiny to find her that day. The last time he had been on Jakku was when he was a small child. He could hardly believe that he stumbled upon this desert flower in this desolate place that was full of so many grim memories for him. Very few people around him knew the whole truth of his upbringing and just how far he went to become the man looking back at him from the mirror. 

 

0000000

 

Armitage Hux was a bastard. His father, Brendol Hux, had an illicit affair with a kitchen maid and gained an unwanted son for his efforts. As a child, he knew his father didn’t like him. Armitage had always been thin, even more so as a boy. Brendol thought that he was weak, like a piece of paper, and just as useless as one. His father never allowed Armitage to forget his disappointment in his son. Not until after he was dead.

 

When he was only a few years old, the Rebel Alliance led an attack on his birth planet, Arkanis. The planet was home to The Imperial Academy that his father led. During the attack, Armitage was left on the planet’s surface. He probably would have died there if it weren’t for the orders of a leader within the Empire’s fleet that made sure that he made it off the planet. After the attack, Armitage and his father fled to Jakku. The remaining pieces of the Empire amassed themselves there to bide their time until they would have the final showdown with the Rebel Alliance. 

 

Many months went by waiting for the Rebels. Armitage spent most of the time avoiding his father. Brendol spent a majority of his time on Jakku conditioning some of the orphaned children of Jakku natives into miniature killing machines. Any time that his father wasn’t torturing the children of the desolate planet, he’d torture his son. Armitage was no stranger to random beatings and emotional floggings by Brendol. His father insisted that one day he would thank him, that all this would bring out his potential. 

 

The Rebels came. Along with them came The Traitor: Darth Vader. The Empire fell. 

 

While fleeing their temporary home in Jakku, a commander in the newly fallen Empire gave young Armitage command of the group of child soldiers. He was told that he needed to learn how to lead now, that it would be instrumental to the destiny that awaited him. The Empire needed him. 

 

He could make these orphans do whatever he liked. He tested the theory one day by making one of the young boys beat one of his comrades, only because he told him to. His first taste of power was intoxicating. He needed more. 

 

Following the Empire’s defeat on Jakku, the remnants fled to the Unknown Regions where they would bide their time before rising to power again. The endless physical punishment from his father finally came to an end when he was an adolescent. Vice Admiral Sloane, an important leader in the ranks of the Empire, threatened Brendol after he tried to strangle her. In return, as an experienced martial artist, Sloane beat him to a pulp. She informed him that from that day, he’d leave Armitage alone and teach him everything he knew about the Empire. A blithering Brendol agreed. 

 

Armitage spent the rest of his youth training under his father and the other remaining leadership of the Empire. He slowly rose in the ranks, eager to prove himself to the ever cruel, Brendol. While his physical torment had ended, his father never ceased to tell him on a constant basis how useless he was. He told him that he would be a failure and never live up to the greatness that was the Empire. Despite his father telling him otherwise, Armitage was vigilant in his service to the Imperial Remnant. He helped his father form a new stormtrooper program that took the wayward children of the galaxy and trained them to become elite killing machines, loyal to the Imperials. Someday soon, Hux and his soldiers would lead the Imperial remnant to rise again to topple the pathetic rule of the Skywalker-Organas. All they needed was the proper leader.

 

Armitage didn’t have to wait long for such a person. He was still a young man when a mysterious humanoid alien arrived in the Unknown Regions and declared himself as Supreme Leader of the First Order. Supreme Leader Snoke brought the First Order to power quickly. He was a powerful force user who was incredibly strong with the dark side. He was obsessed with the Jedi and cleansing the galaxy of their presence. Snoke believed that so long as any Jedi lived, that there would be room for hope in the galaxy. If hope remained, then the people of the galaxy would have the ability to overpower the First Order. Part of the Supreme Leader’s plan to get rid of the Jedi was to obtain an apprentice. When he was questioned about this apprentice, Snoke merely stated,

 

“The boy isn’t ready to join us. I have been grooming his mind since he was a babe, it won’t be much longer until my successor will join us and then the galaxy will feel the might and power of the First Order.”

 

00000000

 

Armitage was twenty years old when the Supreme Leader came to power within the First Order. By this time, his stormtrooper training program proved to be very fruitful in churning out soldiers loyal to him and the First Order. This gained him the respect of Snoke and he was soon promoted to General. This should have been something to celebrate, but good things are never good things for Armitage Hux. After a lifetime of being told he was useless and wouldn’t amount to anything by his father, he had been hopeful that he may have finally made Brendol proud. Hope wasn’t for people like him.

 

His father laughed.

 

“A general?” Brendol guffawed, “You won’t last five years, boy. Leadership is for the strong, and you, much to my dismay, will never be that. I had hoped my whole life that I would have a son who I could pass down what I know. So that he may, one day, become the mightiest of leaders that the galaxy has ever known. What a pity that the galaxy gave me you.”

 

His father was wrong. He wasn’t weak. He was a powerful leader, he had proven it so to the Supreme Leader. Why couldn’t Brendol see that? Armitage had more power now then his father had known his entire military career. He knew that it was time to use his newfound power to make Brendol pay for the torture he inflicted on him since he was a child. 

 

Armitage quickly found someone who shared the same disdain for Brendol as he did. A captain in the imperial stormtrooper unit: Phasma. 

 

She was a fierce warrior that he and his father had discovered on the remote planet of Parnassos. Eager to seize her opportunity to get off planet, Phasma followed the Huxes back to the Unknown Regions and quickly proved that she was far beyond the ordinary stormtrooper. She was completely loyal to the First Order and believed that her loyalty belonged there above any one person. 

 

On the day General Hux came to Phasma with the plan to kill his father, they knew it would be for the betterment of the Order. Phasma agreed to help him and Armitage left the actual killing up to her. His only request was that it would be untraceable. She soon acquired a beetle from her home planet, the Parnassos beetle, that had a devastatingly toxic bite. 

 

00000000

 

Just a few days later, Brendol complained of an itchy wound on his neck. It wasn’t long before the man became bedridden when the wound swelled with a fever for which there was no cure. Within days, he was no longer able to move and started to ooze liquid that belonged inside his body out of his skin. Armitage visited his father then, wanting to pay his respects to the man before his time came. The general stood over his father and smiled,

“What a shame. Of all your years with the Empire and your self-declared might and power, here you lay. I should have known you’d end up here. Leadership is for the strong. You called yourself a leader but look how weak you are,” Armitage shook his head, disappointed,  
“I had always hoped that I would have a father that would teach me everything that he knew about the Empire, so I could grow into one of the mightiest leaders the First Order has ever seen. It’s a pity that the galaxy gave me you.”

 

Brendol’s eyes widened with rage when he realized that his son was the reason for his collapse, 

 

“You!” He started to cough, and blood erupted out of his nose and mouth, spraying the room around him. As Brendol finished liquifying inside his body and letting out his last wet breath, Armitage coolly used a gloved hand to wipe his father’s blood from his face and turned on his heel to walk away. He felt powerful, having liberated himself from his prison. 

 

It wouldn’t be the last.

 

00000000

 

It was only a year later that the might of the First Order was felt by the galaxy. Snoke had decided that it was time to move forward, that his successor was finally ready. 

 

A carefully planned scheme to assassinate Empress Organa-Solo was swiftly carried out in the night. The First Order acted in tandem to also burn the fledgling Jedi Temple on Yavin 4. They collected Snoke’s apprentice from the what was left of the temple as well as a handful of other teenagers that the Supreme Leader thought may become useful to him. 

 

After the successful coup, they had officially cleansed the galaxy of the Skywalker filth and had finally come to their rightful seat of power in the galaxy once more.

 

Armitage Hux had briefly met the sullen teenager that was to be the Supreme Leader’s successor. The boy was just that: a boy. He couldn’t have been much younger than Hux. Snoke kept the boy isolated from all others for quite some time, insisting that it was vital to his training. As the months went by, the remaining amount of Jedi padawans slowly dwindled until four years later, none remained at all. Hux wasn’t sure what had happened to the students, but he was sure that Snoke and his apprentice had something to do with it. 

 

00000000

 

Four years after the rise of the First Order, the galaxy was finally introduced to the Supreme Leader’s apprentice: Kylo Ren. 

Hux was summoned to the audience chambers within the Imperial Palace on Coruscant. As he strode down the long room, he saw a dark figure already standing like a dark shadow at the base of Snoke’s feet. It took a few moments for Armitage to walk to the throne looming at the far end of the massive room. He could hear his footfalls reverberate up the enormous columns lining the space and dancing around the lofty ceiling. The Supreme Leader awaited him at the end of the room in a massive black stone throne backed by a substantial, circular window. 

 

“General Hux, what a pleasure for you to finally grace us with your presence,” the Supreme Leader sneered down at him. 

 

“Apologies, Supreme Leader. There were matters that needed my immediate attention aboard The Finalizer.” Snoke waved a withered hand at him,

 

“I am not interested in your excuses, General. You have kept your new associate waiting. What a poor first impression you have made. Lord Ren has completed his training and is finally ready to join you in command of my Order.”

 

_Lord Ren?_ Armitage thought to himself incredulously. Who was this child and who decided that he deserved such a title? He had fought tooth and nail his entire life to get to his current position, and yet this stranger spends a few years in isolation and suddenly he’s “Lord Ren” and will be his equal in commanding his First Order? He wanted to open his mouth to dispute this preposterous news but knew better. Disagreeing with the Supreme Leader wasn’t advised. It would earn you a dish of painful force-lightning that left you feeling echoes of the agony for days. 

 

“Yes, Supreme Leader,” he agreed, bowing his head in feigned respect. The sooner he could get out of here and back to his star destroyer, the better. On his ship, he was the man in charge and didn’t have to answer to anyone. It was his personal seat of power that he had worked so hard to achieve. He didn’t like the fact that now he would have to share the power that was so incredibly dear to him. 

 

Armitage turned on his heel and strode out of the extravagant room to the turbolift that would haul him back to his command shuttle. It only took a few steps for Kylo Ren to catch up to him and match him stride for stride like a looming sentinel. He heaved a great exasperated sigh and was met with a faceless stare from the mask of “Lord Ren”,

 

“Don’t worry, cupcake. This will be harder on me that it will be for you,” a deep, modulated voice chuckled as Ren reached up and ruffled his hair. Rooted to the ground in disbelief, Hux stood gobsmacked as the turbolift doors open and Ren strode out onto the platform that held the waiting command shuttle. 

 

0000000

 

Kylo Ren emerged from his isolation like a malevolent shadow. He swept across the galaxy with his battalion of stormtroopers like a plague, forcing those who would dare impede the First Order to pay dearly for their insolence. The biggest betrayers answered directly to the shrieking crimson blade of Ren’s lightsaber.

 

Over the years, Armitage and Ren formed an uneasy alliance. While Snoke had insisted that they had dual leadership of the military might of the entire First Order, Ren didn’t care about the amount of power he was given. The only thing he asked for was that Hux trust his judgment and not get in his way and he, in turn, would be the dark enforcer for him and the First Order. They weren’t exactly friends but definitely not enemies. More like reluctant allies. While they weren’t completely alike, both were young men in a place surrounded by older Imperialists. They’d both had a difficult adolescence at the hands of their mentors and had overcome their oppressive childhoods to gain power. Power that came with a price. 

 

Snoke was never kind. The Supreme Leader was a cruel man, often trying to pit Hux and Kylo against each other. After nearly ten years under yet another oppressor, Armitage decided he had had enough of trying to prove that he was worthy of a leader’s respect. He had fought tooth and nail to get where he was, now it was time to take what he wanted.

 

0000000

 

Once a month, the Supreme Leader summoned his two highest leaders to the Imperial Palace for a formal dinner. Snoke dished out fine wine, foods, and criticism for them both. Armitage brought his personal aide with him planetside, as he was usually prone to do. 

 

Captain Tritt Opan was a mousy man who didn’t look like he’d ever been much trouble. He had served under Brendol Hux before rightly switching his loyalties to the younger Hux. Opan had been a useful addition to Hux’s team. Other people had a habit of underestimating Opan, the same way they had done to Hux. This made Opan completely imperceptible to Hux’s enemies when he would send Captain Tritt to eliminate them.  
The three of them sat at their dinner, Armitage and Kylo silent, poking at their food while the Supreme Leader regaled them with the tale of Darth Plagueis the Wise. Hux didn’t know how many times he had listened to the ancient alien tell the tale of the old master of the past Emperor, Darth Sidious. Apparently, the man was powerful enough that he was able to prevent the death of those who he loved. Armitage made an annoyed face discreetly across the table at Ren who pursed his lips and looked down at his food, 

“After Darth Plagueis taught his apprentice everything he knew, Sidious murdered the Dark Lord in his sleep. What a pity, he was able to save many others from death, but not-“ the Supreme Leader suddenly went wide-eyed and clutched his chest and started gasping for breath. 

Ren jumped to his feet, but it was too late. The Supreme Leader slumped over in his chair, completely lifeless. 

 

Both men stood staring at each other in shock. 

 

Faced with this unexpected freedom, Kylo was unsure of what to do next. Snoke had told him since he had completed his training that he was supposed to be his successor. Kylo didn’t have any interest in leading the First Order. That ship had sailed a long time ago. So, Ren lifted his glass and glanced across the table at an alarmed Hux,

 

“Long live the Supreme Leader.”

 

0000000

 

“Your Imperial Majesty,” a voice prompted impatiently. Armitage drew himself away from the reveries of his past, 

 

“Mmm? My apologies,” he mused insincerely, “please continue Ms. Flast.” He was aboard his personal star destroyer, The Supremacy, on his way to the Western Reaches for a meeting with an envoy on the planet Samovar. Vania Flast, an elegant, older woman stood before him with a datapad in her hand. She had silver hair, a long nose, and a stern expression,

 

“Your potential suitors, majesty? The council has compiled this list of suitable candidates. I believe that the daughter of Senator Cass of Kuat and the girl from the Hapes Consortium are both exceptional prospects.”

 

“Excellent,” he glanced at the profiles that she handed him. The Kuati girl seemed pretty enough, but then again, he didn’t necessarily look forward to having to marry a stuffy Core-World girl. Armitage wasn’t of a proper pedigree to be the emperor. After a whole life of having to prove himself to snobbish high-borns, it baffled him that he still had to do the same thing as Emperor. What he wouldn’t give to have a way to prove that you did not have to be from an elite Core world to have the respect and love of the people. It was because of the people of the galaxy that he was even taking a wife in the first place. 

 

His ascension to the throne was relatively problem-free. Snoke obviously didn’t have any plans to die at any moment close to when he landed face-first in his dinner and hadn’t made any set plans as to who his successor was supposed to be. The only remote direction he ever gave was a small verbal suggestion that Kylo Ren was his supposed heir. It was just his luck that Ren was adamantly opposed to becoming the Supreme Leader. This meant he didn’t have to dispose of his comrade as well. Public opinion wasn’t sure of this “bastard king” at first and Armitage had had a hell of a time convincing them. 

 

Eventually, his history of military prowess and loyalty to the First Order come to be evidence enough to sway the galaxy for the time being. Any world that had anything to say otherwise would answer to the Emperor and his fleet of Imperial star destroyers.  
His counselors felt that public opinion of him would increase if he brought back different facets of the Old Republic in the days before The Clone War. They suggested holding regular court functions at the Imperial Palace and then this: find an Empress. The people of the First Order may finally love him if he is able to show that a woman could do the same for him. 

 

“Have the coordinates input into my shuttle and I will visit Kuat on my way back to Coruscant,” he directed to Ms. Flast, “We will keep it relatively informal that way. I’ll take Lord Ren with me to have the proper safety precautions.”

 

“As you wish, your Imperial Majesty,” she gave a bow and turned out of his office. He was only offered a moment’s peace before his holopad dinged and the image of General Peavy emerged,

 

“Sir, we are about to come out of hyperspace above Samovar.”

 

0000000

 

The meeting with the envoy on Samovar went well. They were able to negotiate a trade deal for the precious minerals that the First Order needed to manufacture certain weapons. Armitage was now nestled in his Upsilon-Class command shuttle while they navigated their way to Kuat without any available hyperspace lanes nearby. Ren was an accomplished pilot and Hux had complete faith that he’d get them there without any unseen circumstances.

 

It was a relief to get a moment relatively alone. The Emperor’s work was never done. There was always some crisis on the other side of the galaxy that would need attending to, an advisor whispering in his ear, or some poor soul trying to worm their way into his good graces. He didn’t know when he would have the time to dedicate to a wife, not to mention he didn’t know how he could ever be a proper husband if he was able to find himself a good, obedient woman. His only example of a husband was his father, Brendol, who was unfaithful to his wife with a kitchen woman, Armitage’s mother. He hadn’t experienced love as a child either, so he wasn’t sure if he would be capable of such a thing. 

 

He was losing himself in thought amongst the blue-white lines out of his viewport when the ship gave a jolt and they slammed out of hyperspace.

 

He jumped up into the cockpit and demanded,

 

“What the hell happened, Ren?”

 

“We’ve blown our warp cortex stabilizer. Hyperdrive won’t work without it,” the dark knight muttered, “We’ll have to land on the closest inhabited planet to find a replacement part. I’ve already commed The Supremacy, they’re halfway back to Coruscant by now so it will take them a day or so before they can come to pick us up.”

 

The Emperor sighed, “Where are we headed to, then?”

 

“Jakku. There’s an outpost near the Goazon Badlands, Niima. It’s mid-morning there, so we shouldn’t have to stay for long.”

 

“Good,” Armitage shuddered. He hadn’t been on that disgusting dust-bowl of a planet since he was a child. They had barely escaped with their lives back then and he had had no desire to ever return since. 

 

Within the hour, the shuttle cruised down to the sandy surface of the planet and Ren set the shuttle down in a shipyard near a remote marketplace. 

 

“I’ll stay here, Ren. You go find what we need,” the helmed knight gave a nod and strode down the ramp and into the dry heat. 

 

Armitage settled into the plush bench and took a curious look out of the viewport and into Niima Outpost. When he lived here as a boy, they were hidden away in an old Imperial fortress. He never had the opportunity to observe the people who had lived here. There were many people milling around the market, hauling around varying degrees of what seemed like random ship parts. He had heard rumblings that the social structure on Jakku was made up of scavengers. He shuddered. What an awful existence for someone to have to endure. 

 

Unexpectedly, his eyes were drawn to a young woman standing in the marketplace. She was nothing short of beautiful. The girl stood proudly, brows furrowed in confusion. What was she staring at? Did she need help? What on earth was someone like her doing in a place like this? He was suddenly overwhelmed with the need to whisk this desert flower away from this desolate place, and show her the world that she truly belonged in. 

 

He released the breath he didn’t realize he was holding when he saw a man come up behind the girl and snatch her with both arms. The girl reacted quickly after having been caught by surprise. She tried kicking and then bit the man before he finally let her go. She gave a great swing and her fist collided with her attacker’s mouth.

 

Armitage felt a surge of pride for this girl he didn’t know. He’d never find a girl with guts like that in the Core. 

 

She sneered at the man as he summoned a handful of other men. The Emperor’s eyes widened as she was quickly surrounded. An attacker swung at her, she dodged and gave a forceful kick in return. She turned, looking to bestow another kick when another one of the men hit her in the brow, sending her to the ground.

 

Hux felt panicked. He called the only person who was close enough to help the girl,

 

“Ren. There’s a girl in the marketplace, she needs-“

 

“I’m already on my way,” the knight’s real voice answered back from the comm inside his helm. 

 

Armitage saw his comrade stride over to the brawl as the girl was taking blow after blow to her ribs. Ren stepped over her and clobbered the closest of the attackers. He summoned his dark power and threw a pair of them across the sand. Before he knows it, the scuffle is over, and the girl is scowling up at the knight. 

 

“Ren, bring the girl to me. I’d like to meet her.”

 

He saw her frown continue for a few moments before she reached up a hand and Ren pulled her to her feet. 

 

Armitage took a deep breath and smoothed the front of his crisp, black uniform and then his hair. He paced back and forth a few times before deciding to seat himself casually on the bench, so he’d look somewhat composed when she arrived. 

 

It was mere seconds before Kylo Ren strode up the ramp of the shuttle and a wide-eyed desert flower followed behind him like a reluctant shadow. When she had fully boarded the ship, he glanced up from his datapad and gave her his most charming smile,

 

“Ah, Lord Ren, who is this stunning desert flower you have brought me?

 

She looked up at him, clearly hesitant, 

 

“I’m Rey.” What a simple name for such a beautiful creature. 

 

“Ah, Rey,” he murmured, “Such a pleasure to make the acquaintance of such a captivating beauty hidden away here in the desert. My name is Armie.” He decided to not give his full name to her yet. She was apprehensive of him already, he didn’t need to saddle her with the knowledge that she was face to face with the Emperor. He swept up her bare hand and pressed a gentlemanly kiss against her knuckles. She laughed nervously,

 

“I’m sorry, but what am I doing here? I really should be getting back to my speeder before it walks off in a hundred different pieces.”

 

What an awful place to be where she must have to constantly worry about her safety. He knew this dusty rock was a garbage place. He needed to get her away from here as soon as possible.

 

He sat her down and delicately explained how he was in a place of power and was told that he needed to get married,

 

“Um, well, congratulations?” This was not going as well as he had hoped. He needed to get this right if he was to have the fainted chance of this girl returning to The Supremacy with him. He went on to explain how he and Ren had been on their way to meet a prospective suitor but when their ship had malfunctioned, he realized that Fate had brought him to her and he didn’t have any further need to meet anyone else but her. He thought he had spun a convincing tale, but this girl was ever the skeptic,

 

“You don’t know a thing about me, how could you want to marry me if you’ve only just met me?”

 

He couldn’t believe he was doing this, but he felt so strongly that bringing this girl with him to become his empress was the right thing that he was compelled to beg her if he had to,

 

“Give me a chance to prove it to you that this is the right choice. Come with me to my ship and spend a few days. Let’s get to know each other. Let someone else take care of you for a change. No scavenging, no sand, no worrying about some thieves hurting you,” he reached up and stroked the blossoming bruise along her brow. She would be under constant security as the Empress. She would be safe, and this would never happen to her again, “Please, let me help you.”

 

00000000

 

He knew it. He knew she was going to say no. Though, he still had hope. He sent her off with a commlink and had a feeling that he would be hearing from his desert flower before he knew it.

 

The command shuttle had been repaired a few hours later, just in time for The Supremacy to arrive in Jakku’s orbit. He arrived back on his destroyer with a flurry of activity awaiting him in his office. They had missed their meeting on Kuat and the senator wasn’t happy. He’d have to promise some favor to him down the road.

 

He sat down at his desk and summoned Vania Flast to take down a message to send off to his advisors on Coruscant. Moments later, she arrived in a flurry,

 

“Your Imperial Majesty! Are we dictating a response to Senator Cass regarding your meeting today?”

 

“No,” he smiled, “I’d like you to inform the council that I have chosen my own bride, a girl of the people, from here on Jakku.”

 

Vania was hilariously flabbergasted. She grew up on Coruscant during the rise of the Empire and didn’t have any idea what life was really like outside of a luxury high rise in the Palace District. 

 

“You can’t be serious, you’d bring a desert rat into our Imperial Palace?” she acidly stated.

 

Armitage rose to his feet, fuming,

 

“That is the future empress that you are talking about. You’d do well to show her the respect that she deserves or suffer the consequences.” This seemed to make Vania remember her place,

 

“My deepest apologies, your Imperial Majesty. When would I be able to meet your future bride?” she questioned suspiciously.

 

The Emperor strode to the viewport and gazed down at the planet’s surface below,

 

“She’s not here yet, but don’t fret. You’ll meet her soon.”

 

“She’ll never come,” Vania murmured, “Desert rats don’t know how to do anything other than pick through the trash they were born in.” 

Armitage rose a hand and struck the vain woman across her cheek,

 

“How dare you question me, your Emperor?” he raged, “She will come to me, you’ll see. You’ll all see. Together, we will be the greatest rulers that this galaxy has ever had.” 

 

As if on cue, his commlink buzzed and he answered with a knowing smile,

 

“Ah, it is my desert flower! Are you ready to be whisked away, my dear?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking with me! At this point, I have the entire work outlined, I'm hoping to churn out 1-2 chapters a week! I have made a Spotify playlist here:  
> [Stardust Playlist!](https://open.spotify.com/user/xxmetalhead89xx/playlist/1n9FxZshsf73Ru4G7t2Xre?si=fd302nHzTOO5NqywPx9EGA)  
> I have the same one on Apple Music, so come follow me there as well if you wish! My username is kaybohls  
> I've selected specific songs for each chapter based on what songs helped me feel inpired and what fit the moments I wanted to bring to life.
> 
> So far:  
> Chapter 1: tracks 1-3  
> Chapter 2: track 4


	3. The Lost Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One last deep dive into the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so, so sorry.
> 
> Music links and vision board link at the end of the chapter!
> 
> I'm really sorry.
> 
> Please forgive me.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/144005946@N02/44552115592/in/dateposted-public/)

Today was the day of the wedding.

 

Not his. 

 

The Emperor was marrying an infuriating scavenger girl that they stumbled upon on the dust trap planet of Jakku. The troublesome creature had gotten herself into a heap of trouble when he happened to stumble upon her and jumped in just in time to save her skin. What did he get as a thank you? A slew of expletives in Huttese. The future Empress was an irritating, bullheaded, maddening, exasperating creature, that was for certain. She was all those things and yet, she was none of them at the same time. 

Kylo Ren sat in his chambers, rolling his obsidian helm over in his hands absentmindedly, thoughts of her running through his mind. Catching himself performing this nervous gesture, he slammed it down on a table and ran his bare hands through his hair frustratedly. He had kept himself closed off for so long, what were these feelings that were beginning to surface inside him? It had been such a long time since he had felt anything. Snoke had made sure to put an end to the boy who had felt everything so deeply. The only feeling he had room for now was rage. That’s what he was trained for, so why was he suddenly feeling something new?

 

He blamed the Force. 

 

It had a history of meddling in the lives of his family, so why should expect that he would be spared?

 

He’d felt it the moment he laid eyes on her. 

 

The pull to the light. 

 

He hadn’t experienced that feeling in many years, but somehow, with just the sight of her, she had awakened something deep inside of him. 

 

The instant he looked at her, he knew that the Force had something planned for them. He felt an inexplicable urgent need to protect her. This girl had an importance to him that he couldn’t quite place. Not yet, anyway. 

 

She felt like a memory.

 

She felt like home. 

 

00000000

 

Ben Solo was born on the day that his grandfather, the man who used to be known across the galaxy as Darth Vader, became Emperor of the Imperial Republic. 

 

Born to heroes of the Rebel Alliance and named after a legendary hero of the Clone Wars, he was saddled with a heavy legacy to uphold from the moment he arrived in the galaxy.

 

When he was still a child, his grandfather passed into the Force, leaving his mother, Princess Leia Organa-Solo to take on the mantle of Empress. The Skywalker Organa-Solo rule was a peaceful time, for the galaxy, at least. 

 

Ben exhibited an extreme force sensitivity from a very early age. His nannies and the household droids that cared for him didn’t know how to handle the Force-fueled temper tantrums of a three-year-old, and his parents weren’t around much to help guide him.

His mother was always busy attending to the needs of the galaxy as the empress. His father, Han Solo, had been a smuggler in his days prior to becoming a general with the Rebel Alliance. He wasn’t used to staying in one place for long and often gave in to his wanderlust. He’d usually be gone for weeks at a time. This led to a lonely life for little Ben. He often turned to a voice he would hear murmuring in the back of his mind.

 

The voice would constantly whisper dark things in his ear, forcing him to question everything around him constantly.

 

_Your parents say they love you, but you know it’s not true. If they loved you, they’d be here. They aren’t here, but I am, my boy._

_They are afraid of your power. Look at the way they look at you. Can you sense their fear?_

_You’ll never know love the way that your parents do. No one will ever accept you for who you are. I am the only one who truly understands who you are._

 

His only moments of pure joy as a child were when he and his family would visit his uncle, his mother’s twin brother, Luke at his Jedi training temple on Yavin 4. Ben felt more at home in this place than anywhere on Coruscant. Here, there were other children like him. His uncle had a soft spot for Ben, teaching him how to gain some control over his powers by the time he was a few years old. 

 

Ben made friends early on with the son of old friends of his parents. Shara Bey and Kes Dameron had settled in the colony on Yavin 4 shortly after the Empire fell. They had a young son who was only a couple years older than Ben. They had been instant playmates whenever Leia and Han would leave the palace behind to revisit their old lives in the Rebellion. 

 

There were a few other families that lived in the colony, including a couple who helped take care of the grounds of the Great Temple. Varik Farani was born on Yavin 4 and had joined the Rebel cause as a young man. After the war, he had traveled to Coruscant and by pure happenstance, viewed a performance at the Galactic Opera House. It was there that he heard the most angelic voice that came from the most stunning beauty he had ever laid eyes on. After hearing her voice, he knew he had to meet this girl.  
Varik stuck around Coruscant for much longer than he had originally anticipated. He romantically courted Elara for weeks, attending every performance, sending handwritten letters (a rare commodity in the galaxy then as it was now), and flowers from his home planet. As time wore on, Elara found herself falling for this man. They married quickly, and he swept her away from the city to his jungle home where they continued to live now. 

 

Ben remembered the first time that he had heard Elara sing. He was ten years old and visiting the Great Temple with his father. He was wandering around the jungle when he heard a lilting melody filter through the canopy. Ben followed the angelic sound to a house nestled in between the trees and peeked his head in the doorframe to listen.

 

Sitting inside was the lovely Elara. She had ribbons of wavy auburn hair cascading down her back, a layer of freckles dusted across her nose and hazel eyes that twinkled as she sang. She was tenderly holding a tiny little bundle in her arms and tenderly rocked back and forth as she sang to it. Elara noticed Ben almost right away and gave him a brilliant smile,

 

“Hello, dear Ben. Would you like to come in and meet our sweetheart?” he gave a curious shrug that all ten-year-old boys were prone to do and ambled over to Elara. Already tall for his age, he came up past her shoulder and was easily able to gaze down upon the bundle in her arms. Inside was the wrinkled face of a tiny baby.

 

“Would you like to hold her?” Elara smiled down at him.

 

“I-uhm-ah-sure. I guess,” he shrugged, suddenly nervous. He’d never been around a baby before. He had been struggling with controlling his powers lately, what if he hurt her by accident?

 

The feelings of fear and doubt started to swirl dangerously around him until Elara placed the tiny, wiggling bundle into his arms. As soon as she was nestled into his arms, his turbulent mind was suddenly still. He reached up a finger and gently stroked the soft skin of her cheek. The baby opened her eyes and looked right at him. She had the most beautiful hazel eyes already, something he didn’t expect with such a little baby, with flecks of green and gold scattered through them like stardust. Feeling slightly uncomfortable at the sudden quieting of his mind, he carefully handed the baby back to her mother,

 

“Here, you can have her back,” he muttered, and walked towards the door. Before stepping outside, he turned back to Elara, “Can I come visit her again soon?”

 

0000000

 

By the time he was thirteen, Ben was an official student at his uncle’s Jedi academy. As he grew into adolescence, he developed a temper that was fueled his Force sensitivity. Ben could feel everything. He could feel the energies of every living thing in Galactic City. He could feels the otherwise secret feelings of perfect strangers. He could hear the snickers of passersby whenever he visited his mother in the Senate Building.

 

_What a pity, his mother is so beautiful._

_What an odd-looking child. Are they supposed to be that tall?_

_Look at those ears!_

 

He could hear every venom-filled word coming from his parents whenever they argued. Both Leia and Han were of a stubborn, hot-headed nature and clashed frequently. He could feel his father’s resentment towards their family for keeping him grounded. He could feel his father’s guilt when he’d tell a broken-hearted Ben that he needed to stay behind on Coruscant. He could feel his mother’s pain when Han would jet off to come back who knew when. He felt her terror when he took his anger out on a household droid, crumpling it into a smoking heap with his mind. 

 

Leia knew it was time for Ben to join her brother, Luke, on Yavin 4 to train as a Jedi. She saw similarities between her son and her father when he had been consumed by the Dark Side and hoped that her brother’s training could help save Ben from a similar fate. While he loved being on Yavin 4 with his uncle, Ben was completely devastated by this news. He wanted nothing more in the whole galaxy than to learn to be a gifted pilot like his father and spend his days exploring the galaxy, not learn how to become a Jedi. When the day arrived to deliver Ben to the Great Temple, he clung to his mother, begging for her to not leave him there alone.

 

“It won’t be forever, sweet boy. I’ll be back to see you before you know it,” his mother whispered into his hair, tenderly placing a kiss there. She pulled away and held her hands on either side of his face, wiping away his tears and pressing her forehead to his, radiating waves of love towards him. Han reached out and ruffled Ben’s dark hair,

 

“I’ll see ya around, kid,” he gave him a lopsided half-smile. Luke placed a warm hand on his shoulder and guided him towards the temple,

 

“Come on, Ben, let me show you your new room.”

 

0000000

 

Under his uncle’s tutelage, Ben quickly learned control of his raw power. He advanced through the curriculum quickly, proving to be an incredibly gifted student. This didn’t make life much easier in the dormitories with the other students. As Ben grew, he became even more gangly and awkward and never seemed to catch up to the size of his ears. This made him an easy target for bullies to tease whenever Master Luke wasn’t around. 

 

During the night, the voice would come to him, the source of frequent nightmares.

 

_You don’t fit here, boy. They don’t understand you._

_You are far more powerful than any of these other children. Someday you will be their end._

_Your parents sent you here because they were afraid of you. They’re never coming back.  
Soon, you will come to me and I will teach you the meaning of true power._

 

Ben’s only solace came when he was able to get away from the temple and sit in the jungles of Yavin 4 to meditate and quiet his mind. He settled himself at the base of a Massassi tree, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. He centered himself inside the warm embrace of the Force. He could feel the life of everything in the jungle around him, from the massassi tree he leaned against, to the Whisper birds that nested far above him, and something else,

 

“I can hear you, little mouth-breather,” Ben muttered, raising an eyebrow and glancing into the tree above him. He heard a rustle in the leaves above before a tiny creature landed clumsily on her feet beside him. 

 

“Poodoo. I thought I got you Ben!” the little girl said, disappointed. 

 

“Hey, watch that pottymouth,” he laughed, “you’re a little young to be swearing in Huttese, don’t you think?”

 

“Poe says that if I’m gonna be a pilot, then I should know all the good words,” she shrugged, “Plus, I’m four now, I am definitely old enough to say those words if I want.”

 

“That may well be, little one, but I’m the one who’s going to get in trouble if your mother hears you talk like that,” he reasoned. She gave an adorable pout and looked up at him through her lashes,

 

“Ben, can you teach me some more please?”

 

He gave an exasperated grin. She had started to show that she was tremendously Force-sensitive from an early age, just like him. He had a soft spot for the little thing and decided to teach her a few things here and there. They had recently started working on Force-levitation but after a few hours of practice, she hadn’t quite got it yet.

 

“Come on over here, kid,” he tapped his knee with his hand. She gave him a toothy grin and ambled up into his lap. He leaned his head down to her shoulder, so they’d be at the same eye-level. They stared at the same rock on the ground in front of them, “Close your eyes, reach out with your feelings. Now, just like last time, bend the Force around the stone,” she screwed up her face and reached out her tiny hand. Her face started to turn red underneath the dusting of freckles across her currently scrunched up nose from the effort.

 

“No, you’re still holding on. Let go. Take a breath. Calm your mind. Reach out again.”

 

Her face instantly relaxed as she followed his directions. He watched the stone as it wobbled and then seamlessly lifted off the ground. She moved the rock seamlessly and carefully balanced it on top of another stone. Ben tried to keep himself composed but her excitement was contagious. She flew out of his lap and jumped up and down with glee,

 

“I did it! Did you see? Ben, did you see?” she exclaimed with pure joy. He grinned from ear to ear out of pride for his tiny friend. He stood, scooped her up and tossed her into the air. When he caught her safely in his arms, he crushed her with a hug. She leaned back in his arms and smiled, her hazel eyes twinkling with green and gold. The very same sparkling stardust from when Ben met her as a baby,

 

“I am so so proud of you, Stardust,” he beamed, “Just wait until you’re big enough to be one of Master Luke’s students. You’re going to make one hell of a Jedi,” he set her down and held out his hand to her,

 

“Come on, let’s go home.”

 

Upon their arrival back at the Great Temple, Ben saw the familiar saucer-like shape of a Corellian YT-1300 light freighter docked in the hanger bay. His tiny companion’s hand was suddenly ripped from his grip as she hurtled herself at a tall man standing at the bottom of the boarding ramp,

 

“Han!”

 

“Hey kiid!” the aging smuggler flashed a genuine smile at the girl as he scooped her up in a bone-crushing hug. Han and Leia were old friends with the girl’s father, Varik, since the days of the Rebellion and had cherished their daughter since the day she was born.

 

“Hey, Ben,” Han’s smile faltered slightly at the angry frown that covered his son’s features.

 

“Is Mother with you?” Ben asked, already knowing the answer. Han looked at the beaming girl in his arms as he wistfully smiled,

 

“You know Leia, there’s always some emergency that needs attending to,”

 

“I must have forgotten, the galaxy always holds a higher priority than her only child,” Ben looked livid as he stormed off into the jungle.

 

The hazel-eyed little girl wriggled down from Han’s arms and chased after him as fast as her little legs could carry her.

 

Ben thundered through the thick green jungle as quickly as he could, desperate to put some distance between him and the hurt caused by his family. Maybe the voice was right, she doesn’t love him…  
He threw himself down in a thicket of ferns, tucked his knees up to his chin and let his hot tears fall free. He wasn’t sure how much time went by before he heard a tiny little voice,

 

“Ben?”

 

He looked up into her concerned eyes, so much older than her four years,

 

“Hey Stardust,” he sniffed, brushing away the wetness from his cheeks, “I’m sorry for leaving you, it won’t happen again.”

 

“Do you promise?” her face was serious, “Do you promise that we will always be together, Ben? You’re my best friend,” 

 

He gave a chuckle and bumped her chin with his knuckle,

 

“I promise. And I’ll tell you what, if we are ever apart, I’ll find you so that we can be together again,” he smiled, enjoying making silly promises to a little girl. It wasn’t likely that she’d remember this conversation in a couple years anyway.

 

“But what if someone takes you away from me?” she said fearfully, “I had a dream that you were bigger and you were dark. I was big, too, and I didn’t know you.”

 

“Then I promise that if someone ever takes me away, I would cross the galaxy to find you. No matter how far,” he winked, flashing her a goofy grin.

 

“For forever?”

 

“For forever, Stardust.”

 

0000000

 

Two years later and Ben still couldn’t believe that he was best friends with a six-year-old. 

 

Ben had continued her “Force lessons” with her for some time before Luke caught on to her talent and decided to bring her on as a Padawan. Ben enjoyed having her in the Great Temple. She was never far away, constantly following him like a second shadow. 

 

He’d learned many new things over the years at the academy and was only a few more years away from becoming a Jedi Knight. His Uncle Luke even said that at the rate he had been advancing through the program that he may even be able to attempt the trials and become a knight sooner than he expected. Learning to harness and manipulate the Force was easy. Practicing lightsaber combat had been fun. Building his first lightsaber was an experience that he’d never forget.

 

He kept his struggle with his darkness a secret. The voice still whispered to him in the night. 

 

_Your time is coming soon. Come to me and you will finally feel like you belong._

 

“Hey! Ben! You awake over there?” a voice pulled him from his nightmarish reverie. Ben blinked a few times and shook the dark thoughts from mind, 

 

“Yeah, sorry Poe, what’d you need again?”

 

“Toss me that Gauss wrench, would ya?” his friend raised a dark eyebrow at him. They were fiddling with an old RZ-1 A-wing that had belonged to Poe’s mother, leftover from the days of the Rebellion. Poe, who was already 19, had been a talented pilot and mechanic since he was a kid. His mother, Shara Bey, had died when he was a little boy. She had been a legendary pilot for the Rebel Alliance and had passed down her passion for flying to her son. They were modifying the ship so that it could hold an additional seat in the cockpit and be used for training.

 

“The Tollo-wrench would be a better choice for the components that you’re working on now,” a small voice interrupted from the cockpit. Poe laughed,

 

“Actually, your little girlfriend is probably right, toss me a Tollo instead.”

 

“Ew, gross. Ben is NOT my boyfriend,” the girl stuck her head up out of the cockpit and made a face at Ben, who scowled deeply,

 

“Poe,” he warned, “you’ve taught this girl enough bad habits, maybe its time that you shut up once in a while,” he paused, listening intently to something in the distance, “Stardust, Elara is looking for you, you’d better run,” the girl’s hazel eyes widened as she hopped down from the A-wing and dashed off towards her home.

 

“You think I’m joking, Ben, but I’d bet ten thousand credits that you’re going to marry that girl one day,” Poe laughed hysterically, ducking to avoid the wrench being hurled at his head. 

 

“Poe, you won’t have ten thousand credits to bet. I think I’ve had enough Dameron for the day, fix this yourself,” Ben rolled his eyes and strode away from the cheeky bastard. Poe thought he was so clever, but he didn’t understand their bond. From the very first time they’d met, he’d always felt a pull in the Force whenever she was near. He knew whenever she was scared or lonely. He could feel her laughter when she was on the other side of the temple. He felt her joy when she mastered a new trick of the Force. He felt an overpowering need to protect her. He’d follow her anywhere just to make sure that she was safe.

 

Ben ambled through a courtyard of the temple and spotted his Uncle Luke waving him towards him,

 

“Ben! I’m glad you’re here, Leia is comm-ing you on the holopad in my office, you’d better take it,” his uncle sounded nervous. Ben had a feeling what the comm was about. His mood instantly soured even further than the damage Dameron had already done. 

 

“She’s not coming, is she?” he frowned.

 

“You ought to speak to her directly, Ben. I’m sure she wouldn’t cancel on you unless it was of the utmost importance,” Luke sounded pained. 

 

“It always is, isn’t it?” Ben shouldered past the Jedi Master to make his way to the office. He’d better get this over and done with.

 

He strode into his Uncle’s office and spotted the hologram of Leia instantly,

 

“Mother,” he uttered coldly, avoiding making eye contact with her. 

 

“Ben. I’m so sorry I won’t be coming with your father tomorrow. There’s a problem on Arkanis, I need to make an emergency visit as soon as I can,” Leia’s brown eyes, colored like his own, were filled with grief and regret.

 

“It’s always an emergency, isn’t it, Mother? There’s always going to be some system in the galaxy that needs you. But what about me?” he choked back a sob as he started to raise his voice, “What if I need you, Mother? What if I have needed you this whole time but you’ve always had something or somewhere more important to deal with that wasn’t your son.” 

 

“Ben, I’m so sorry. I know I haven’t been there for you like I should have been,” Leia’s eyes were filled with tears as they jerked to something outside his view. She wiped her tears away and straightened in her seat, becoming the Empress once more, “I have to go. Your father is already on his way and should be there within a few hours. I will talk to you tomorrow, sweet boy.” Ben stood up straight, eager to look like a man to her and not like a sad little boy who desperately needed his mother. He nodded respectfully at the flickering blue hologram of his mother before turning on his heel to walk away,

 

“Ben?” she murmured, barely a whisper,

 

“Mmm?” he paused in the doorframe and barely glanced back at her,

 

“I love you,” she sighed sadly.

 

“I know,” he uttered, pressing his lips into a line, trying to contain his churning emotions.

 

He barreled out into the warm jungle air and made his way into his favorite quiet spot amongst the massassi trees. He found a hollowed-out trunk to squeeze his tall frame into, leaning his head into the cool shadows he was hiding in. The darkness was soothing to his chaotic mind. He had finally slowed his breathing when he heard a small voice,

 

“Scoot over.”

 

He cracked an eyelid and peeked at the speaker,

 

“Go away, Stardust. I don’t want to talk right now.”

 

“Well good, because I’m not here to talk you nerfherder. So, scoot!” Ben rolled his eyes. Poe was teaching her far too many colorful words. He leaned to the side and lifted his arm so there was just enough room for her to nestle in under his bicep, “I could feel that you weren’t okay. I’m sorry, Ben.”

 

“I thought you said you weren’t here to talk,” he chuckled, knowing that there was no way that this girl could go more than two minutes in silence. Her presence was comforting to him. His darkness was starting to subside once more, her light washing it away. 

 

“Ben, what’s going to happen when we’re grown up?”

 

“Well, when I become a Jedi Knight, I’ll likely be sent on assignments away from here to help maintain peace in the galaxy,” he smiled into her hair.

 

“No, I mean when we are both grownups. You promised we’d always be together. What if someone takes you away from me?”

 

“Stardust, I could never be away from you for long. I will always find you, remember?”

 

“Do you promise?” she replied. She sounded unsure.

 

“Yes, of course I do. I’ve promised you before, Stardust. I’ll be here, and I’ll keep you safe. For forever. Why do you sound so worried?” he asked.

 

“I just keep dreaming of us when we are big. You are different. You’re not Ben. Someone takes you from me and I am sad.” 

 

_Your time is coming soon. Come to me and you will finally feel like you belong._

 

He tried to shake off the bad feeling that her visions were giving him, but the memories of the voice echoed in his mind,

 

“I’m sure everything will be fine, Stardust. We will always be together and someday when we are old we’ll get married just like Poe said we would,” he snickered, hoping to get a reaction out of her. 

 

It worked.

 

She let out a squeal and hit him in the chest with her small hands and wriggled away from him as fast as she could,

 

“Gross! Ben, no!” she gave him a disgusted look, “In your dreams!”

 

He smiled, reaching into his pocket, pulling out a delicate chain,

 

“I’ve got something for you to remember me by if we ever aren’t together. Turn around,” she looked at him quizzically before doing as he said. Ben reached around her and fastened the chain around her neck. She looked down and gingerly lifted the pendant closer to her eyes,

 

“What is it?” she inquired.

 

“When I built my lightsaber, my kyber crystal cracked. This little piece came apart from the main crystal. Since they say that the kyber crystal is like the heart of the Jedi that the lightsaber belongs to, I wanted you to have this piece. So now, part of my heart is always with you,” he shrugged, slightly anxious as he tried to gauge her reaction, “I know it’s a little big for you now, but you’ll grow into it someday.” 

 

She gazed at the crystal shard at the end of the chain for a moment more before flashing him a toothy grin. Beaming, she threw her arms around his neck and squeezed with all her might,

 

“Oh, Ben! I love it! I’m going to keep it forever and ever!”

 

Just then, there was a thundering sound over the jungle of a starship breaking into the atmosphere. Ben looked up and saw the distinct shape of the Millennium Falcon flying overhead. With a sigh, he heaved himself to his feet and trudged after the girl who was already flying through the undergrowth. 

 

Ben ambled through the edge of the forest and up to the Falcon. Stardust was already climbing all over the hull, inspecting all the new “upgrades” that Han had made since the last time he had visited. 

 

“Hey kid,” Han nodded at Ben. He was his father’s height now, too tall and too old to have his hair ruffled, “You’ve definitely grown since the last time I saw you.” 

 

“Yeah, well that tends to happen over eight months, Dad,” Ben rolled his eyes. He glanced up at the setting sun, “It’s getting late, I think I’m going to go read a book in my quarters.” He knew he should want to spend time with his father, but he was desperate to have this exhausting day finally be over. Han looked disappointed but didn’t say otherwise. He gave a tense wave as Ben turned his back and strode towards the temple. 

 

He settled into his bunk and pulled up a copy of the history of the Clone Wars on his datapad. It wasn’t long before his exhaustion claimed him in sleep.

 

00000000

 

_Fear._

_Pain._

_A starship._

_Fire._

_His mother’s face._

_“I love you.”_

_“I know.”_

 

00000000

 

Ben woke with a start, overwhelmed with panic and grief. 

 

A disturbance in the Force. His mother. Leia.

 

He jumped out of his bed, ran down the stairs and out to the hanger bay as quickly as he could. He ran to the Falcon, up the boarding ramp and collided with his father,

 

“Mother…she’s….” a painful sob escaped his throat as his chest began to seize in grief. His mother. Leia. 

 

“I felt it too, Ben. I felt her go.” Han stifled his cries as he pressed his son’s head to his chest. Ben grabbed a fistful of Han’s leather jacket as he sobbed into his shirt, suddenly a little boy again.

 

They were barely afforded a moment to grieve when they heard the whine of TIE fighters coming towards the temple. 

 

“Ben. GO. Get your lightsaber as fast as you can. You’re gonna need it,” his father shouted at him urgently, “Wake everyone you can.” Ben didn’t wait for any more instructions, he bolted into the temple and into his room, pounding on the doors as he ran down the halls,

 

“We are under attack! Wake up!”

 

When he emerged from the temple, he was surrounded by a flurry of blaster fire. Stormtroopers combed the area, shooting anyone in their way. The grounds were already littered with the bodies of his fellow padawans. He was suddenly struck with a moment of conflicted panic. He needed to stay and defend his home, defend his brothers and sisters. But, he looked around frantically and didn’t see Stardust anywhere. He briefly closed his eyes and tried to focus in on her Force signature. 

 

There she was. Alone, in her family home. Afraid. 

 

Ben felt a warm hand on his shoulder. He twirled around and came face to face with his uncle,

 

“Go, Ben. Find her. I’ve got your back.” Ben gave a silent, grateful nod. He ignited his lightsaber and purposefully strode towards her terrified signature. He let his darkness envelope him, giving him more power. He cut through each stormtrooper he came across and deflected the blaster fire that was hurtling his way. The world was a sea of red and pale blue as he parried each shot and shoved his blade into the chest of any trooper that came too close.

 

He kicked in the door to the house and immediately swept the terrified girl into his arms,

 

“It’s okay, Stardust, I’m here. I’ve got you.”

 

“It’s not okay, Ben. My Papa…” she sobbed, “My Papa went out to help. I felt his light go out, Ben. I don’t know where my Mama is.”

 

He stifled a sob and held her closer still, eager to rid her of the pain she was feeling,

 

“Sweetheart, we have to go. We need to get on a ship and get out of here, okay?” he urgently murmured, wiping away her tears, “Hold on to me, I’ve got you, remember?” She gave the tiniest of nods before curling into his shoulder and together they went back out into the fray.

 

The temple and the surrounding jungle were ablaze. Everything was chaos around them. The ground was littered with bodies of stormtroopers and students alike. He sees the body of Varik Farani laying lifeless only steps away, 

 

“Close your eyes, Stardust. Please don’t look,” he sobbed.

 

He cuts a path through the remaining stormtroopers that run his way, holding onto the girl for dear life. As they near the hanger bay, a feeling of relief rushes over him. Han and Elara are there firing their blasters off at the few troopers that are left. The last trooper fell to the ground and they were left with a deadly quiet with only the sounds of the fire crackling fire filling their ears. It wasn’t loud enough to drown out the echoes of the screams rattling around in his memory. Han hurried over to him,

 

“BEN. You must leave. You aren’t safe here. They’re here for our family, please, you have to go before the TIEs come around for another pass.”

 

“Dad, I can’t leave her,” he hugged the girl closer to him, unwilling to release her, “I can’t do it!”

 

“Here, give her to me, I will take her with me. I swear she will be safe,” his father begged desperately. Ben shook his head in a panic,

 

“No, I can’t. I promised her that I would protect her.”

 

“She will be in more danger if she stays with you and you know it,” Elara pleaded, reaching her hands out for her daughter.

 

“My son, please, you have my word. I swear I will make sure she leaves this planet safely,” Han begs. All Ben wants to do is keep her safe. He can’t shake this horrible feeling in the back of his mind. More than his mother. More than this attack. Something isn’t right. He’s desperate to keep her, but Elara is right. She would be in more danger with him. He takes a shaky breath. He knows he doesn’t have much time,

 

“Don’t be afraid, sweet girl. I will find you, I swear! I don’t care how long it takes. Just remember that I will always be with you no matter if we are apart. No matter how far. I would cross the galaxy for you, my Stardust,” he hurriedly plants a tender kiss in her hair and uses his hand to cradle her cheek so he can look into her star-dusted eyes and wipe away her tears. He gives a quick nod to Han before he can change his mind. She is suddenly ripped from his arms. Panic-stricken, she cries out for him as he sobs amongst the echoes of new blaster fire. A pair of strong arms grab him from behind and shove him towards the nearest shuttle, 

 

“Solo! Come on, man, we need to get out of here!” Poe begs him. Ben can’t tear his eyes away from her crying face. He’ll never be able to get the sounds of her screams out of his mind. He doesn’t have time to linger on the thought as the whine of TIE fighters return. His eyes meet hers in a moment of panic, then an explosion of plasma-fire fills the space between them and the world goes white,

 

“Stardust!”

 

0000000

 

Han ducked from the explosion, shielding the little girl in his arms with his body. He took a deep breath, the panic in him subsiding. He knew what he needed to do,

 

“Elara, take her. Get on this shuttle and get out of here. There are more troopers coming, I’ll hold them off as long as I can so you two can get away,” he said urgently, passing the little girl over to her mother.

 

“Han, no,” tears filling her eyes, “I couldn’t possibly, what about you? What about Ben?”

 

“Yes, you can. You will. Ben can take care of himself and he would never forgive me if something happened to her. She is his light, we need to protect her,” he grazed a kiss on the head of the grief-stricken girl, “I wish I could see you grow up, kid. Take care of him. Now, GO,” he urgently gave Elara a shove up the ramp of the shuttle and reached in to close the hatch. 

 

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this,” he murmured as the stormtroopers closed in and the shuttle behind him took flight.

 

0000000

 

Ben ripped himself away from Poe’s grasp and ignited his lightsaber with a guttural roar. His rage clouded his vision as he tore through each white-armored soldier within striking distance. He wasn’t sure how much time went by, or how many he killed. He awakened from his fever dream, shaking, with piles of armor-clad bodies around his feet. His breath was ragged as he saw all the bloodshed he was responsible for laying on the ground around him. His eyes roamed the burning battlefield. Near the edge of the still-burning jungle, he caught sight of a strikingly familiar brown leather jacket. 

 

Running as fast as his legs could carry him, his knees buckle next to the limp body of his father,

 

“Dad, no,” he sobbed, rolling Han over to lay in his lap. He placed a hand on his greying face. Han’s eyes weakly opened to gaze at his son,

 

“She’s okay, Ben. She’s safe, just like I promised,” Han weakly smiled and reached up and set his hand along his son’s cheek, tracing a bloody wound he had sustained during the fight, “It looks like this will scar.”

 

“Dad,” Ben gave a feeble sigh, “please don’t go. Don’t leave me here alone.”

 

“Be good to her, Ben. Be better than I was, please,” Han’s breath grew shallower as he looked up at more approaching troop transport ships.

 

“I love you, Dad,” Ben let out a tragic sob, setting his blood and tear-soaked face onto his father’s chest.

 

“I know,” Han whispered. Ben took a desperate gasp of air as he heard his father’s heart stop beating. 

 

“NO. Please, Gods, no. Don’t you leave me here alone, you bastard!” he desperately sobbed. His body shook with grief as he held onto his father for dear life. 

 

_Your time has come boy. Join me. There is nothing left for you here._

 

0000000

 

He didn’t know how much time had passed as he laid there weeping into his father’s lifeless body. He was numb. The world continued to burn around him, and he didn’t care. Hands pulled him away from Han, and he didn’t fight it. Ben was in a daze while he was guided to the boarding ramp of a shuttle, he couldn’t hear someone shouting his name. 

 

Ben woke from his daze as he was shoved off the shuttle into a gargantuan hanger aboard a star destroyer, his hands locked together in a pair of binders. His grief-fueled rage was palpable as he glared at his surroundings. The hangar was filled to the brim with TIE fighters and AT-AT walkers. He gasped sharply,

 

_The Empire._

 

This wasn’t a random act of a few defunct Imperialists. This was an uprising.

 

He was guided down a long hallway and into a turbolift, briefly locking eyes with a severe-looking ginger,

 

“The Supreme Leader wishes to see you, Jedi scum,” the stormtrooper guiding him spat, shoving him into the lift. When the doors opened, Ben came face to face with his lifelong tormenter. Snoke.

 

“Ah, young Solo,” the ancient alien purred, “at last you are able to join me. I have been waiting for this moment for a long time. Welcome,” the so-called “Supreme Leader” was perched at the end of a large chamber whose walls were lined with massive red banners sporting a symbol that looked eerily similar to that of the Empire. He wore long, golden robes, concealing most of his body. His skin was beyond pale, he had no hair to speak of, and a grotesque scar nearly split the alien’s skull in two. He was a terrifying sight to behold, but Ben wasn’t afraid of him. Not yet,

 

“Murderer!” he screamed.

 

The pain came quickly.

 

Snoke threw a shock of Force lightning directly at him, surrounding him with a current of electric fire. He dropped to his knees, screaming, blinded by white-hot agony as it coursed through his entire body. He was still reeling from it when the Supreme Leader provided him with another round,

 

“You’d do well to remember your place from now on, Solo. The Jedi are finished. Luke Skywalker is dead. I have rid the galaxy of their pathetic light. Now I have you, a child of the darkness and the light, with a terrible, raw power that all masters hope they live to see. Today, we will begin your training. I will stoke the dark fire burning inside of you and snuff out the light. When you are ready, you will be a scourge upon the galaxy. Anyone who dares defy me and the might of my Order will answer to my enforcer. I hope you’re ready,” he sneered, “your training begins now.”

 

Ben thought that the Force lightning was painful, but he was not prepared for the pain that came when Snoke began the assault on his mind. He ripped his claws through every happy memory he had of his family. Dancing with his mother. Bedtime stories and loving embraces. Flying the Falcon for the first time. Ben tried to push him out but it only spurred Snoke to dig even further. He was going to take any ounce of happiness and light away from him and replace it with pain and rage. He needed to protect his light.

 

Stardust.

 

In a panic, he tucked his memories of her away into the far recesses of his mind and built a wall around her. He had realized Snoke’s plans for him and he couldn’t let him find out about her. She was made of the purest light. If Snoke found out about her, he would destroy her in his ploy to cleanse the galaxy of its hope. Ben did the only thing he could to protect her. He hid her away.

 

00000000

 

Ben Solo was dead. Snoke had made sure of it.

 

The barrage of torture, both mental and physical, continued for months. When Snoke was done tearing through his mind or having him hone his lightsaber skills against vicious training droids, he’d lock him away in a dark room, alone. During the first few months, he could still feel himself and his light barely flickering deep inside his heart. He tried to focus on that light during those quiet moments, aching for it to continue burning. 

 

Sometimes, during the night when he was desperate to sleep, he could feel her. 

 

He felt her fear and her loneliness. It tore him up inside. 

 

Where was she? Was she safe? What had happened to her after she got away from Yavin 4? Where was her mother, Elara? If he had stayed with her, would she be safe? 

 

Consumed with grief and guilt, he did the only thing he could from his prison. Through their bond, he murmured their promise to her.

 

_It’s okay, I’m here. I will always be with you, even if we are apart. I will follow you across the galaxy, forever, my Stardust._

 

He continued his reverie until Snoke found a way to completely drown out the light that was still alive deep inside him. Ben wasn’t the only student that the First Order had captured. A handful of other pupils had fought back inside the temple and paid for it with their capture at the hands of the First Order. Snoke wanted to keep them, knowing that they’d someday be of use. 

 

Ben was barely seventeen when he was forced to kill his first fellow padawan.

 

Snoke had used Sith poison on his fellow students. It would multiply the rage they felt inside like a disease, making them extremely powerful. His first battle, Ben tried his hardest to defend himself without hurting his old comrade, but it quickly became kill or be killed. Fueled by his anger at the situation, Ben slaughtered his foe without trying. Snoke continued this “technique” of his training for some time, each kill Ben performed caused his light to grow dimmer. By the fourth, his light had been completely snuffed out.

 

He couldn’t reach her anymore after that.

 

Years went by of Snoke’s constant torture of him. Each day, Ben Solo faded further away until one day he was completely gone and Kylo Ren was there in his place.

 

0000000

 

Kylo Ren had been with the First Order for nearly half his life before he felt it again.

 

The pull to the light.

 

He had witnessed the demise of his tormentor and the rise of a new master. Kylo didn’t know who was responsible for the death of the Supreme Leader or if the ancient alien had finally fallen to old age. He had been briefly concerned that the remaining First Order leaders would look to him to take up the mantle after Snoke’s death. Any possibility of him ruling the galaxy disappeared when Ben Solo was destroyed. Thankfully, Hux was more than eager to take up the job. The two of them had a mutual understanding of their relationship. Kylo acted as a silent sentinel and guard dog to help Hux command the respect he so desperately craved and in return, Kylo was allowed some amount of freedom in his choices. They’d spent a better part of their lives tolerating each other and it had worked well enough so far.

 

On the day the spark reignited in him, he was piloting Hux’s command shuttle to Kuat for the Emperor to meet a potential bride when a problem arose with the ship. Kylo navigated the ship to the nearest inhabited planet to find the parts to repair fix the issue.

 

Jakku was a filthy junkyard of a planet that he’d never stepped foot on before and had no wish to ever again after his initial visit there. 

 

He strode down the boarding ramp of the shuttle and was immediately blasted by the intense heat of the desert planet. His black surcoat and arm guards were definitely not the proper attire for this climate. He hastened his pace towards the market, wanting to be out of this heat as quickly as possible. His steps slowed when he felt a tugging sensation at the back of his mind. He closed his eyes inside his helmet and cocked his head to the side, trying to understand what it was that the Force was trying to tell him. Then he felt her.

 

He jerked his eyes up in the direction where it was originating from. The moment he clapped eyes on her, he was blinded by her light. He was thankful for his mask as he swallowed thickly, his heart pounding in his ears. This girl was the most breathtaking creature he had ever seen. Her tanned skin glowed against the sand, a smattering of freckles dusted across her cheeks and her nose, and her eyes sparkled in the sunlight. Those eyes were looking straight at him, as if she felt him too. He was unaware of long he stood like a statue, gazing at this indescribable beauty until his reverie was cut short when a man grabbed the girl from behind.

 

Immediately, his blood boiled with fury and possession. How dare another man touch her? He watched in amused curiosity as the girl rabidly fought back against her aggressor. Kylo’s curiosity turned to horror as her attacker called forth a handful of his comrades. She held her own for a moment, landing a good punch and a kick but she was quickly overpowered. She landed hard in the sand after one of her attacker’s fists collided with her temple. 

 

His fury couldn’t be contained any longer as he watched one of the men started to repeatedly kick her hard in the ribs as she laid powerlessly on the ground,

 

“Ren, there’s a girl in the marketplace. She needs-“ he heard Hux’s voice speak urgently in his ear,

 

“I’m already on my way,” he snapped, striding forward purposefully, eager to protect this girl of the light.

 

He stepped over her crumpled form on the sand and gave a great swing of his fist, his knuckles connecting with the face of her assailant.

 

This was only the start of his troubles with this girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so, so sorry!! 
> 
> Things will start to look up from here on out....for now...
> 
> Here is my [Pinterest Vision Board!](https://www.pinterest.com/kaybohls/writing-visual-inspiration/chapter-3-the-lost-boy/)
> 
> Apple Music username is KayBohls
> 
>  
> 
> [Stardust Spotify Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/xxmetalhead89xx/playlist/1n9FxZshsf73Ru4G7t2Xre?si=9LIKjR2SR7ynCu0vSonUqw)
> 
>  
> 
> This chapter is:  
> Buongiorno Principessa (Ben's happy memories)  
> This Is My World (I highly encourage listening to this song during THAT part to increase emotional impact ten fold....)
> 
> Thank you for sticking it out with me! Next chapter should be up in the next few days!


	4. The Scavenger's New Clothes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey gets her first taste of life away from Jakku.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/144005946@N02/44552115382/in/dateposted-public/)

Rey paced back and forth within the small confines of her AT-AT. Feeling some sort of combination between excitement and anxiety, she had nearly worn a whole in the floor. It had only been a few hours since she had discovered the disseminated remains of her speeder scattered across the sands. She had decided right then and there to take the mysterious Armie up on his offer to be whisked away from the wastelands of Jakku. While the idea of not having to scavenge anymore was appealing, Rey couldn’t help but feel like his offer was too good to be true. Her doubt, however, was vastly overshadowed by the overwhelming feeling that was telling her that the decision to leave was the right one. 

 

She sat herself down in her hammock to survey her surroundings. In a normal home, she would have packed a bag, but the life of scavenger left her with little more than the clothes on her back. She had never grown emotionally attached to anything she had acquired during her time there, so there wasn’t anything she felt the need to take with her when she left. Better to leave everything as it was for another wayward girl like her, to provide her with the same salvation she needed when she stumbled upon it so long ago. The only thing she needed with her was her crystal necklace, the same one that she had arrived with when she was small. 

 

Rey hears it as it breaks through into the atmosphere, her ticket to another life. She stands to give her home for the last thirteen years one last look. She walks over to the wall with the thousands of hashes permanently adorning it, lifting her hand to trace the very first mark she had ever made. Giving the wall a solemn smile in way of goodbye, she turns on her heel and steps out of the belly of the AT-AT and into the sunlight. 

 

Positioning herself in the sand in front of the walker, she stands with her feet apart, one hand on her hip and the other holding her quarterstaff planted in the sand beside her. She didn’t want him to forget the scavenger that she was before she was transported away and transformed into someone else. She wasn’t sure who she might become once she was away from Jakku, but it was important to her that she not forget that scavenger girl either. 

 

The Upsilon-Class command shuttle came swooping into view, retracting its massive wings as it settled in for a smooth landing. Rey’s heart hammered in her chest in anticipation of coming face-to-face with the man who was her savior. She had dreamed her whole life of being taken away from Jakku and Armie was finally making her wish come true. She would be forever grateful to him for it. 

The ebony ship, set itself down at last, blowing sand out from underneath it as it settled onto the ground. As Rey shielded her eyes from the dusty debris, she didn’t see the boarding ramp begin to lower down to the ground. She was trying to brush the sand from her eyes as she saw black boots stride down the ramp. She beamed nervously. Then she saw him and her smile faltered.

 

_Kriffing hell._

 

The dark knight, “Lord Ren”, approached her in his long, loping stride,

 

“Where is Armie?” She demanded harshly.

 

“Excuse me, your Worshipfullness, but your boy toy is an important man and had places to be. So you’ll just have to deal with me in the meantime,” he bowed low, sweeping his arms towards the ramp, “After you, Majesty.”

 

Suddenly faced with the reality that the time had finally come to leave, she hesitated, taking one last look at the fallen AT-AT that had been her home for the last thirteen years. The place she grew up.

 

“Don’t tell me that you’ve suddenly changed your mind,” he muttered dryly from inside his mask, “then this pit stop will certainly have been for nothing.”

 

“It’s not that, I’m just…” 

 

“Saying goodbye, I understand,” he nodded, for the first time, his voice wasn’t laced with a sarcastic edge, “Let’s go, we’ve got a long journey ahead to Corusant,” he ambled up the ramp onto the shuttle and she quickly followed behind him and onto the ship, “There’s a passenger compartment through there, it will likely be more comfortable for you than the benches in the main cabin,” he muttered, pointing to a door to her right. She followed his directions as he headed towards the cockpit. She assumed he was speaking to the crew. The passenger compartment was a cozy with a few comfortable-looking chairs and a chaise lounge set closest to the viewport. The thunder of the duel-ion engines began, so Rey settled onto one of the plush black loungers closest to a window and leaned her head against the cool glass. She felt a gentle tilt as the sight of her dusty AT-AT began to shrink as they rose into the air. She took a deep breath to calm her hammering heart and tried to will the tears that were beginning to sting her eyes to keep from falling. 

 

“You alright?” The voice of Kylo Ren interrupted her silent farewell to her home. She balked, dashing the tears from her eyes.

 

“Yes, fine. I’m fine. How are you?” She sputtered. He seemed to offer her a slight chuckle before settling into a massive chair across from her,

 

“The crew have everything under control, I thought you could use some company. I know it isn’t easy leaving your home.” She slowly sighed and closed her eyes, leaning her head up against the back of the lounger. She could hardly believe that this man knew anything about what it was like being left behind by your family. He probably grew up with every luxury and without a care in the world. Lacking the emotional energy to offer up the proper amount of snark to him, especially when it seemed like he was actually being kind, she focused her attention to the rapidly shrinking view of Jakku. Her heart started to race. She had never been off planet before. Her breathing rapidly increased as they entered into the cold darkness of space. The tears were about to come again when she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder,

 

“Don’t worry, Princess. There will be other homes. Better homes than this one ever was to you, I’m sure. Now you get to go to a home that you deserve,” Ren stood behind her, offering her these surprising words of comfort. She should have shunned away from his touch. Instead of recoiling in disgust as she’d imagined she would after he’d spoken those infuriating words to her, she felt a sudden rush of calm wash over her. She unconsciously leaned into his touch and gave a wistful smile. 

 

She was finally getting her freedom.

 

Feeling relaxed by the sudden peace she felt in her heart, she settled further into the lounger and began to drift to sleep.

 

00000000

 

_She was small again, clinging to a beautiful woman with her hazel eyes. They were in a shuttle. She didn’t know where they were going. The woman said it would be somewhere safe. The woman was crying as she held her close and traced the outline of a constellation of freckles on the inside of her wrist. Her heart hammered in her chest. She was feeling so many things._

_Fear._

_Sorrow._

_Confusion._

_She hiccuped from her tears, nestling herself closer into the arms of the woman who held her.  
The shuttle jolted violently. Alarms began to blare. The woman pressed her face to her chest and began to sing into her hair with arms wrapped around her like armor,_

_“Be still, my love. I will return to you. However far you feel from me, you are not alone. I will always be waiting and I’ll always be watching you. Speak to me, speak to me.”_

_She was enveloped in a warm bright light as their shuttle made impact with the surface of a dusty planet. Then everything was dark._

_She woke up alone, the sound of fire in her ears._

 

00000000

 

Once the girl fell asleep, Kylo felt the sudden urge to look upon her sleeping form without a visor. He gingerly reached up and pressed the release on his helmet. It opened with a hiss and he lifted it off of his head, giving his obsidian hair a gentle shake. 

 

What a feeling, to finally see this frustrating, yet captivating woman with his own two eyes. He basked in her light. There was such an abundance of it, he felt like he would drown as he drank in the sight of her. He still wasn’t sure of the reasons that the Force had pulled him to her, but he was determined to find out. He licked his lips and his face cracked into a smile as he watched her brows scrunch together in reaction to her dreams. He couldn’t help but notice how much calmer she became when he had laid his hand on her shoulder. He had been grateful for his mask at that moment so she couldn’t have seen the flush rise in his fair cheeks when she leaned into his touch. Was she feeling the same type of emotions that he was? He shook himself out of the thought. Of course she wasn’t. She clearly found him abhorrent, he saw it in the way she spoke to him after he saved her at Niima Outpost. He saw it reflected in her face when he emerged from the command shuttle instead of her handsome emperor. Her reaction towards him was an obvious indicator that Snoke was right. He’d never know love the way his parents did.

 

Her brows furrowed again, forming a deeper crease between them. She began to shake, her face showing that whatever she was dreaming about was causing her distress. Overwhelmed by that same need he had felt before to protect her, Kylo stripped the glove from his hand and reached out to brush the chestnut hair from her beautiful, freckled face. His heart stuttered at this intimate gesture as the Force soared. Sudden, vivid images flashed through his mind. 

 

_An island. Music. Him kissing the inside of a gloved wrist. Her glorious smile. Somewhere green. Wandering kisses and a flicker of flushed skin. Flashes of red and blue. His panic-stricken face. Rey crumpling to the ground in a heap._

 

He jerked his hand away from her skin in alarm, quickly depositing his glove back onto his hand. He stood and started to pace inside the small compartment. Never mind everything else the Force had shown him, something bad was going to happen to this girl. He knew now without a doubt that he needed to protect her. He needed to prevent that final image from his vision from coming true. Kylo knew in his heart that he was prepared to go any length to protect her. 

She had seemed to calm down from her dream when their skin met, but she had started to shiver. Space was certainly a lot colder than what she was used to growing up in the desert. He acquired a blanket from a storage closet and laid it across her slight form. He’d do what he could to help her, even if it was merely keeping her warm. 

Eager to calm his mind and contain his emotions, he deposited his helm back atop his head. He leaned back into his chair, vowing to keep watch for the remainder of the voyage to Corusant and beyond. 

 

0000000

 

“Rey.”

 

Surrounded in a cocoon of complete comfort and calm, she refused to leave her slumber,

 

“Rey, we’re arriving shortly, it’s time to wake up,” the warm voice continued to try and stir her from her sweet sleep. Never had she slept so soundly. Curling her hands into the supple softness of the blanket that covered her, she pulled it up to her chin and rolled herself into it even tighter. 

 

“Sweetheart, wake up,” a hand gave her shoulder a gentle shake. The shuttle abruptly gave a heavy shudder and Rey’s eyes flew open to see the masked figure of Kylo Ren standing over her,

 

“Kriffing hell! You know, you really shouldn’t stand over sleeping people like that,” she sighed, completely exasperated, running a hand over her face and into her hair. Her eyes widened. Her trio buns had partially come undone while she slept, she must look an absolute fright. Yanking the ties out of her hair, it fell in chestnut waves past her shoulders as she smoothed it with her hands, 

 

“What happened?”

 

Kylo cleared his throat, thankful once again for his mask doing so well at concealing his emotions. Watching her hair tumble down from how she had it tied had made his mouth go dry,

 

“We just came out of hyperspace above Coruscant. You’ve brought yourself back from the dead just in time for us make to make planetfall,” he said dryly, not at all amused by her attitude after what he had experienced while she had been peacefully asleep.

 

Rey’s heart jumped into her throat with the sudden nervous excitement of her brand-new future being so close. She leaned her head up against the transparisteel viewport and watched a glimmering planet come into view. The ship thundered into the atmosphere and Rey’s breath fell away in an instant. Rising below them was a glittering cityscape. Towering buildings rose around them, the dimming light from Corusant Prime sparkling off of the windows. More speeders than she could possibly count flew in a grid between each massive skyscraper,

 

“H-how high?” She stammered in awe.

 

“Over five-thousand levels,” Kylo answered, joining her to look out upon the thriving metropolis, “We aren’t going to any of these. We’re headed that way,” he pointed over her shoulder into the distance. The ship cruised past the highest buildings until they started to fall away as they approached a strangely isolated part of the city. Rising at the center of this area was an immense ziggurat with square edges, tall sloping sides, and a flat roof. Rising from the crown of the building were four soaring spires that adorned each corner with an even larger tower ascending into the sky from the heart of the structure. Rey felt like shuttle begin to slow down as they started to descend,

 

“We’re going here? It looks like a place fit for a king,” she murmured, still in awe of everything she had seen.

 

“Fit for an emperor, actually. This is The Imperial Palace.”

 

“Armie lives here?” She breathed, “He works for the Emperor?”

 

“In a way, I suppose,” Kylo stood and swept out of the passenger compartment. Rey tentatively followed him out into the main cabin. As the ship touched down, Kylo pressed the release to lower the boarding ramp. Rey moved to head down the ramp but was met with Ren’s large frame blocking her way,

 

“I’ve been instructed to keep you here until you’ve been properly prepared,” he muttered, seemingly annoyed at having to provide her with such strange instructions. At that moment, a group of sharply dressed individuals trotted up the ramp. There were two women, one who was older and distinguished looking with a severe silver bob. The other woman looked to be around the same age as Rey, petite with a wide smile and dimples framing her mouth. The third member of the party was an older gentleman who was about Rey’s height. He had bold, dark brows, a silver scruff shadowing his jaw with no other hair to speak of on his head. He beamed at her through his thick, black glasses,

 

“My dear Lady Rey! What a pleasure to finally meet the infamous Desert Rose!” He wrapped his arms around her and pressed a quick kiss to each side of her baffled face, “I am Kai Malo. This is Vania Flast and Rose Tico. We’ve been instructed by the Emperor to dress you before your official welcome to the Imperial Palace,” he motioned towards a droid that was ambling up the ramp with a rack full of clothing.

 

“Uhm, just Rey is fine, I’m certainly not a lady,” she stammered, “The Emperor wants this? I’m not sure if I understand.” Kai smiled at her sympathetically,

 

“Oh my darling girl, sweet desert flower. There’s so much for you to learn.”

 

Still perplexed regarding his meaning, Rey quietly followed him back into the passenger compartment as he showed her the variety of designs that had been made just for her from the very finest fabrics in the entire galaxy. There weren’t many colors for her to choose from. There seemed to be a pattern favoring the colors of the First Order. Deeps reds and the blackest blacks with the smallest amount of grey. Rey settled on a design that felt the most like herself: a black sleeveless tunic with a leather belt at the waist; leather trousers that clung to her legs and practical black boots that hovered above her ankles. The feature that called her to this design in particular were the slim leather arm bands that went from her knuckles to her bicep. They showed her what her future was made of but still had echos of that lonely scavenger girl.

 

Kai styled her ruined hair into a sleek bun at the nape of her neck and layered a pink gloss on her lips and silver framing her eyes. Her audience excused themselves as Rey dressed herself in her new finery. When she emerged, Kai looked satisfied at his job well done until his eyes hovered around her neck. Sensing his distaste at her simple bauble, she looked at him with pleading eyes,

 

“Please, this is the one thing that I have left from my past.”

 

Kai considered this carefully before he acquiesced in her request,

 

“We will see you outside shortly my lady, he is waiting to accept you,” he winked at her as he turned to prance back down the ramp with Vania and Rose in tow behind him. Kylo ambled up the ramp past the group in his signature long strides,

 

“Are you ready?”

 

Suddenly terrified, she looked up at his faceless mask and shivered with tear-filled eyes,

 

“I’m not sure that I am.”

 

Kylo fought the urge to reach out and touch her. He wanted to provide her some comfort but didn’t want to risk another episode like the one he had earlier when he dared to touch her skin with his bare hand. She looked hauntingly beautiful as she looked up at him with silver-framed eyes that sparkled like they had been shaped by the very stars themselves. Her sudden fear was palpable. Kylo did the only right thing he could think of amongst the sea of wanton wickedness within his mind,

 

“You look cold. I imagine that you’ll need some time to adjust from the heat you’re used to in the desert,” he reached up and unwrapped the cowl from around his neck. Rey’s breath caught in her throat as he stepped closer to her and draped the fabric around her shoulders. He was inches away and she could feel the heat radiating off of his body as her heart beat furiously in her chest. Ren leaned forward and wrapped his arms around her, brushing her shoulders with the taut muscle of his arms to pull the hood up over her head. Rey placed a hand on his sturdy chest and leaned her forehead against him. She breathed him in deeply and smelled a combination of sweet spices, faint smokiness and the earthiness of the soil where the rarest of flowers would bloom on Jakku.

 

“Thank you,” she whispered into the black fabric on his chest. She glanced up at the inhuman mask that was looking down at her. Desperate to see the face of the man who’s heartbeat beneath her fingers, she reached up and placed her hands on either side of the cold mask. Taking a shaky breath, she reached for the helmet’s release when Kylo’s gloved hands clenched around her wrists, guiding her hands away from his powerful frame. Released from the spell, he withdrew from her grasp and muttered,

 

“Time to go, Your Worship. We mustn’t keep your public waiting.”

 

Jerked from her feverish delusion, Rey struggled to control her reeling emotions,

 

“Yes, I shall follow momentarily,” she coughed, still trying to compose her breath. Kylo swept down the ramp and left her alone with her churning ruminations. What was that? When he got close to her, it was like she completely lost her senses. When she touched him, it felt like the most natural thing in the world. She took a steadying breath and decided that it was for the best to keep her distance from him. She didn’t actually like the man, anyway, so it wouldn’t be too difficult, right? Her focus should remain entirely on the reason she was here. Her liberator, Armie. She’d barely had a taste of what a life with him would offer and it was already light years beyond what her dreary life on Jakku was like. She owed him her gratitude and respect and canoodling with his crony was doing the opposite. Whatever this magnetic charge was between her and Kylo needed to be put under control or she was sure she’d end up in over her head. 

 

Rey squared her shoulders and stepped down the boarding ramp to greet her new life.

 

The Imperial Palace rose above her, the structure even more majestic up close. The bottom of the ramp was flanked by a pair of menacing guards dressed from head to toe in red with faceless masks. The shuttle was stationed at the base of a wide-sweeping staircase that was split up into sections by multiple landings situated every couple dozen steps. A small party awaited her at the first landing. Among them was a tall red-headed figure draped in extravagant black robes adorned with shining gold details on the shoulders and the cuffs of his sleeves.

 

Rey lifted her chin and began her ascent up the grand staircase, the red guards following behind her. Her breath was shaking in anticipation as she came face to face with Armie’s smiling face. He was accompanied by her dressing party along with a handful of stony-faced elderly men. Kylo Ren hovered behind the group, standing stoically, like a dark sentinel watching over them,

 

“Hello, Armie,” Rey murmured shyly under the grim stares from the older members of the party. 

 

“Pardon me, but you shall address the emperor as ‘Your Imperial Highness’ and you will bow when you enter his presence,” one of the stern, older gentleman glowered at her.

 

“Now, now, Alsmock,” Armie tutted, stepping forward to place a hand on each of her shoulders, “I have high hopes that this woman will become my empress. You will show her the same respect as you show me,” he lifted one of his hands to gently trace the edge of her jaw with a twinkle in his eye.

 

“E-Emperor?” Rey murmured weakly, “You’re Armitage Hux?” Her head was spinning, how did she not connect the dots? She had only ever heard the emperor’s name and knew he was relatively young but had never seen a picture of him before.

 

“I’m sorry for not telling you, my darling girl. I didn’t want my position to influence your decision. I knew that if you knew who I was, you wouldn’t have come. I need you to trust me,” he gazed down at her as he made his passionate plea, “I know in my bones that your place is here with me,” Dazed, Rey gave him a small nod,

 

“I trust you,”

 

Armitage’s face split into a wide smile,

 

“Excellent. Let’s show you your new home,” he held out his elbow for her to take. She wound her arm through his and held on for dear life as he guided her up the the foreboding staircase towards the palace. When they reached the top, they strode together through a gargantuan set of arches and into a great hall. The sight rendered Rey completely speechless. Rows upon rows of grand pillars towered over them so high that she could barely make out the sparkling ceiling. After they made it through the entrance, the hall opened to reveal a grandiose chamber that could fit three of Niima Outpost inside of it. The hall seemed to go on forever but she didn’t get the chance to find out. Armitage steered her around a corner down a slightly smaller passageway with a series doors on each side. Further down the long hall, Rey noticed a set of double doors that looked different than the rest. She slowed her steps and studied the door curiously. Something inside her told her that the room was special,

 

“What’s in there?” Rey queried,

 

“Nothing of consequence, my darling,” the Emperor declared as he navigated her past the door to a waiting turbo lift. The party had separated early into their stroll through the palace, leaving the couple properly alone for the first time. Rey lets go of his arm to step into the lift first at his behest. Armitage stepped in beside her as the lift doors hissed shut. They were suddenly, truly alone. Rey timidly looked up at him and was met by a quizzical gaze. Hazel met blue before they both hastily looked away, her at her boots and him at the ceiling, neither one uttering a word. The uneasiness between the strangers was palpable. How was she going to manage to live here with this man who could scarcely look at her? Finally, the blessed doors opened and the emperor cleared his throat loudly,

 

“This way,” he offered out a courteous arm once more, guiding her down the hall. They stopped at an arched door, “Here we are, my Flower. I had this prepared especially for you,” he smiled proudly. The door slides open and she immediately forgets the awkwardness they’d endured in the lift. 

 

The room she sees is far beyond one she could have conjured in her dreams. It is gigantic, the far wall made entirely of glass, looking out on the twinkling lights of Galactic City in the distance. She wanders in to explore her new home, completely lost for words. A colossal bed is situated against the wall to her right and a plush seating area to her left. Through the windows in front of her is a balcony with an incredible view of the city. Suddenly feeling overwhelmed, she tries to take a steadying breath. 

 

“This is too much,” she murmured.

 

Armitage sauntered over to her and placed a cool hand on her shoulder,

 

“You are my guest and I will hope that you will decide to stay here with me. As my empress, these are all things that you deserve, my darling.”

 

_Empress._

 

Anxiety rolled over her in waves. Breathing became more difficult and tears flooded her eyes. Armie stiffly wrapped his arms around Rey in a poor attempt to provide her with some comfort,

 

“There, there,” he said stiffly, “I know that is a lot for someone with your background. Just rest assured that this is all for you and I wouldn’t have brought you here if you’d didn’t deserve every bit.” He uncomfortably patted her on the head a few times.

 

“I will leave you to it then. The members of your staff will be here in two hours. Relax, please make yourself at home,” he stated curtly before turning on his heel and marching out of the room, leaving Rey alone with all her roiling emotions.

 

Her anxiety starts to overwhelm her. She feels stifled. The massive room is suddenly too small, her clothes are too tight. She tears the black cowl off of her shoulders, throwing it onto the bed. She rips off the leather armbands and deposits them on the floor. She paces the room, nothing has helped ease her fear. As she paces, her eyes are drawn to the black pile laying on the bed. She walks over to it and sits, gingerly lifting the fabric in her hands. She didn’t have a chance to appreciate the softness of the fabric before, or notice the subtle gleam in the weave. Rey thoughtfully ran her fingers over the pattern of the soft fibers. Before she knew what she was doing, she lifted the cowl to her face and inhaled deeply. It’s faint, but it’s there. It is almost as intoxicating as it was before. Rey’s eyes flutter shut and a sense of calm washes over her.

 

_Spices. Smoke. Earth._

 

She wraps herself up in the comfort of the smell and curls herself up on the end of the bed, drifting into a peaceful sleep.

 

00000000

 

“My lady!”

 

A pleasant voice drew her from her slumber. 

 

“Nnngh,” she moaned, wrapping herself up tighter in the fabric she was snuggling. She’d never been this comfortable before in her life and wasn’t going to give it up without a fight. 

 

“It would appear that the Lady Rey does not wish to be awakened,” a female mechanical voice stated.

 

“I can see that, Beedee, thank you.”

 

“It is my pleasure to be of service to you, Ms. Tico.”

 

“Why don’t you make yourself even more useful and go fetch Lady Rey some caf, would you?”

 

“Right away, Ms. Tico. I shall return shortly.”

 

“Yeah, thanks Beedee. Try and wake her when you’re back. We still have some time before we need to get her ready for dinner, so she can sleep a little while longer. I’ll be waiting downstairs when she’s ready.”

 

Rey heard the door slide open and then closed again, then all at once, it was quiet in her room once more. She nuzzled into the softness of that fabric that enveloped her as she began to doze again. She isn’t sure how much time has passed when the mechanical voice drew her from her dreamless sleep,

 

“Pardon me, madame, but I have been instructed to wake you upon my arrival with your beverage. I do believe it is nearly dinner time and my lady is expected to dress.”

 

Rey opened an eye and squinted at the owner of the voice. A shining humanoid-looking droid looked down at her. She had remarkable female humanoid features, from a rigid bob “hairstyle” to a tiny waist and wide hips. She even included a massive set of breasts that Rey couldn’t help but roll her eyes at. This droid had more womanly features than she ever did with her coltish figure. Growing up hungry on Jakku hadn’t done Rey any favors in the “womanly curves” department. She had a feeling that the droid wasn’t going to leave her be and that her lovely nap was finally over,

 

“And you are?” Rey sat up, yawning widely.

 

“I am BD-3000, your luxury attendant. The emperor has assigned me to be of assistance to you,”

 

“Right,”Rey begrudgingly accepted. It seemed that there would be no use in fighting the benefits of her station anymore, “Okay, Beedee, you said something about a beverage?”

 

0000000

 

Rey was directed by Beedee to the terrace where a hot cup of caf was waiting for her next to a sumptuous chair. She wrapped the cowl firmly around herself as she sunk into the chair and brought the hot drink up to her lips. Rey pulled her knees up to her chest and watched the traffic whiz by in organized grids overhead. She knew she came here for the purpose of getting to know Armitage. He had hoped that she would eventually agree to stay and become his wife. While the idea of leaving Jakku to be taken care of by a handsome man was a tempting one, it turned out to be quite a bit different than she had anticipated. She wouldn’t just be his wife. She’d be the Empress. What would that mean for her exactly? She was only a scavenger, she didn’t have any right to be anyone’s ruler. Would she be expected to provide an heir?

 

Rey wrapped both hands around the mug and restlessly laid her cheek on against the warm ceramic. She closed her eyes and took a centering breath, inhaling the slightly sweet, bitter smell. Perhaps she’d be able to take advantage of the position to help people in need. There had to be many other hopeless children like she was, wandering the galaxy alone. If she could have a positive impact, perhaps being the empress wouldn’t be too terrible. Being here in the palace left her feeling a sense of obligation towards Armitage for taking her away from Jakku in the first place, even if it only ended up being for a few days. All things considered, though, she did say she would try. Rey was a girl of her word so she was going to give it her best shot. 

 

Feeling fully composed, Rey unfolded herself from her perch on the terrace and wandered back into her room, exploring it with the purpose of what exactly “downstairs” meant. She traveled through the door past the bed and lost her breath when she walked into the most luxurious refresher she’d ever seen. That really wasn’t saying much, considering the only one she’d ever seen before was a sonic shower at Niima Outpost that you had to trade scrap be able to use it. This ‘fresher was blazing white with a wide sink, a massive glass shower that had a bench inside it and four shower heads, and a large egg-shaped basin. She let out a deep sigh. A bathtub? Her eyes nearly filled with tears at the thought of being able to emerge herself into a tub of hot, soothing water. She’d been desperate to know what that would feel like her entire life. Rey ran her hand along the cool, smooth edge of the basin, daydreaming about what her first bath would feel like when a voice interrupted her reverie,

 

“Lady Rey! I was just coming to check on you!”

 

Startled, Rey looked up from the tub and into the dimpled face of Rose Tico. 

 

“Oh no! I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. It’s just, we don’t have much time before dinner starts, so we really should be getting you ready. You’ll have plenty of time to relax later this evening!”

 

_Dinner. Food. Real food._ Rey’s stomach growled in anticipation.

 

She followed Rose through another door on the opposite side of the fresher that led into a room with white shelves filled to the brim with shoes. So many shoes. There was a seating area to one side and a staircase leading down in the center of the room. Rey curiously continued to follow Rose down the spiral stairs and into an expansive room with rows upon rows of clothing hanging in a color-coded pattern. Color was a strong choice of words, most everything before her was a variety of reds, black, and the occasional shade of grey. Clearly whoever had made these selections was faithful to the First Order colors. 

 

Rose and Beedee get Rey zipped into the first dress she’s worn in her life. It is a sleek bright red with a single shoulder and sleeve that sweeps down past her hand to the hem of the dress that came to just below her knees. She nearly drew the line at the shoes that Beedee presented her with, a simple white shoe with a towering heel. Rey laughed in the droid’s face at first but there didn’t seem to be any other “proper” options. Food being her main motivator, Rey reluctantly agreed to give the death traps a try. Her first steps are slightly unsteady but she finds her balance quickly, thankful that the ridiculous shoes turned out to not be as awful as she first imagined. 

 

Beedee collects her black tunic and leggings that she had been wearing since her arrival and Kylo Ren’s black cowl,

 

“I shall have these laundered for you, my lady.”

 

“No!” Rey panicked, snatching the cowl from the droid’s grasp, “I’ll keep this one, thank you. I’d rather it not be laundered today, but thank you,” she breathed, relieved to have caught her before it had disappeared. She gingerly folded it and placed it in a drawer, praying that the smell hadn’t faded away. 

 

Rose changes Rey’s makeup to a smoldering black with flecks of gold layered on the corners before she declares that she is finally ready to head to the dining hall. 

 

“It’s down in one of the lower levels, I believe there’s someone waiting to take you down,” Rose smiled at her, “Did you want me to be here when you get back?”

 

“I think I’ll manage, thank you Rose,” Rey said gratefully. She gingerly made her way back up the stairs and through her room to the door to meet her escort. 

 

0000000

 

She needed him. He had felt her fear. 

 

His quarters weren’t far from hers. He ran down the halls and skidded to a halt in front of her door. He held his hand out to open the door and stopped short.

 

_No._

 

There was no way he could fly into her room without any type of explanation. He wouldn’t even be able to begin to explain to her about the way the Force had pulled him to her when he’d barely understood it himself. 

 

_But the way she touched you on the shuttle…_

 

No. She needed comfort and he was the only one there to provide it to her. There was no way that she would ever be able to reciprocate the bewildering feelings he had towards her. How could she? She had never seen his face and why would she ever want to? She had the Emperor of the Galaxy offering himself up to her, what could she ever see in a monster like him? Snoke was right. 

 

_You’ll never know love the way that your parents do. No one will ever accept you for who you are. I am the only one who truly understands who you are._

 

He’d never have that kind of love. He vowed to do the one thing he could in the absence of that powerful love. He’d protect her. Be her sentry. Her guardian. She was bound to need one if she became the empress and he’d certainly keep her safer than the Praetorian guard that Hux employed to protect himself. 

 

So he waited.

 

As he stood watch outside her door her fear subsided and he felt a wave of comfort wash over her. Sometime later, a small woman and a droid came to the door. 

 

“You are?” He questioned them callously. 

 

“Um, I’m Rose Tico, this is BD-3000. We are the attendants of Lady Rey. We’re just here to get her ready for dinner,” the small woman glared at him quizzically, “And YOU are?” She retorted.

 

“I’m here to escort her down for dinner.” 

 

“Well, aren’t you punctual?” Rose chuckled. Kylo, feeling satisfied regarding the scavenger’s safety, he let them pass with a stern nod. 

 

After a while, the door slid open and Kylo let out an inaudible gasp. Thankful for his mask yet again, he was grateful that she couldn’t see the awe on his face.

 

The scavenger girl was gone and in her place was an enchantress in red. 

 

Her eyes were draped in black and gold, making the green in her hazel eyes sparkle. The scarlet dress she was wearing hugged every curve of her body. A single shoulder was exposed, revealing a layer of freckles dusting all the way to the curve of her neck. Oh, how he longed to run his hands over her skin and explore the softness of her skin with his lips as he trailed kisses across each mark. 

 

“Oh,” she stopped short in front of him, surprise and embarrassment flickering across her face. He knew it. How could he have expected anything different? Of course what happened between them on the shuttle hadn’t been real. 

 

“Don’t worry, your worshipfulness, I’m only here to escort you to dinner. You won’t have to deal with me for long,” he muttered bitterly. His foolish longing for her had been thoroughly diminished by her reaction, he purposefully strode down the hall to the turbo lift. 

 

0000000

 

His disappointment from her reaction faded while he inadvertently watched her during dinner. 

 

He stood in a corner of the dining room and couldn’t help it when his eyes flickered to her as she marveled at the sight of all the food in front of her. He had to hold back an amused chuckle as she ferociously dug into the meal as if someone was waiting in the wings to snatch it from her. His amusement soured into sickening guilt when he wondered how often she must have been deprived of food during her time on Jakku. He had never gone hungry a single day in his life and never once thought that there may be someone out in the galaxy who didn’t have that same basic right. He balled his hands into tight fists with a seething anger at whoever had abandoned her in that wasteland alone to fend for herself. He promised himself that he’d never let her go hungry ever again. 

 

When dinner was finished, he watched as Hux put his hands on her waist and left a ghost of a goodbye kiss on her forehead. The sight made Kylo’s blood boil with a foreign sense of possessiveness. As Emperor, Hux likely had some other, more pressing matters to attend to than walking his possible-betrothed back to her room. Kylo was thankful for that. He was desperate for one last moment with her before the day was through. 

 

They walked side by side down the hall, their footsteps perfectly in sync. They approached the lift and he strode to the back as soon as the doors opened. She stopped a few inches in front of him, facing the door. He couldn’t help but let his gaze rake over her body wantonly, his heart beating hard in his chest. She was close enough to him that he could practically smell her. All spices and sweet flowers. It was intoxicating. 

 

_Screw it._

 

He reached up and pressed the release on his mask and pulled it from his head, shaking his dark hair loose. He stepped forward and snaked his free hand around her waist, splaying his fingers over her abdomen and pulling her closer to him. 

 

“Rey,” he breathed as he nuzzled the soft skin behind her ear. He dragged his mouth from her ear and down her throat towards her shoulder, peppering soft kisses across each freckle on her soft skin. Desperate for more contact, he dropped his mask with a heavy clunk on the turbo lift floor. He reached his hand up to his mouth and pulled his gloves off with his teeth, discarding them on the floor beside his helm. He cradled her jaw in his large hand, tilting her neck up to meet his hot mouth. He wanted to taste every inch of her. He kissed every inch of her neck, tracing the curve with his tongue and grazing his teeth along her throat. Rey let out a whimper and leaned her body back into him,

 

“Ben,” she keened, her voice pleading to be closer. For more.

 

He gripped his hands on her hips and spun her around, their mouths meeting hungrily. He pressed his mouth to her soft lips, running his tongue along the edge of her bottom lip. He could feel her warm body flush against his, but it still wasn’t close enough. Kylo wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her, pressing her back against the back wall of the lift. She wrapped her legs around his middle and clung to his shoulders as he cradled her close to him. He moved his free hand under the hem of her dress and caressed the bare skin of her thigh, intoxicated by the feeling of her skin against his. Their kiss continued, each exploring each other’s mouths with their tongues, memorizing the taste of the other. Kylo tore his mouth away from hers and ran his nose from her bare shoulder to her ear and growled ravenously,

 

“Rey, I need you,”

 

“What?”

 

Kylo was suddenly ripped from his feverish hallucination from his place at the back of the lift, mask and gloves still in tact. Rey was looking back at him quizzically. 

 

“What?” He echoed after her.

 

“You said you needed me. You need me to do what, exactly?”

 

_I need you to let me kiss you._

 

“I need you to get off the lift, this is our stop,” he muttered, relieved at the impeccable timing of the turbo lift arriving at their level at precisely the right time, “Goodnight, Your Highness,” he stated sourly as he shouldered past her and out of the lift.

 

000000000

 

Rey leaned with her back against the door inside her room, sighing deeply. She was perplexed at whatever had happened in the lift between her and Kylo. They had both been silent the entire ride until the air suddenly became charged with an unexplainable heat as he murmured those words under his breath.

 

_Rey, I need you._

 

His foul attitude as they left the turbolift would have suggested that she had done something to upset him. She bit her thumb and ran it along the edge of her bottom lip as she recalled the way he rumbled those words and sent tremors shivering down her spine. She had to ask him what he had said to assure herself that it hadn’t been her mind playing tricks on her. She hated being right. His callousness towards her made it abundantly clear that she had been wrong for thinking that he shared any of the bewildering emotions she had for him. His distaste for her was abundant. She felt it in the way he removed her hands from his mask in the shuttle. It was unmistakable as he pushed past her to remove himself from her presence in the lift. It was obvious to her that it was time to let this foolish infatuation die and center her focus on the kind-hearted man who had gifted her with this glorious second-chance of a life. 

 

She wandered through her suite to the ‘fresher and basked in the glow of the pure, white porcelain. She ran her hands along the smooth edge of the tub. Her emotions were tumultuous. It is a mixture of excitement and trepidation. Her whole life, water had been a precious commodity. It felt bizarre to want to fill this basin with water when she had taught herself to hoard it. Lightly pressing her fingertips into the grooves on the knob, she twisted her wrist to initiate the flow of the water. 

 

Reaching up behind her, she undoes her dress and lets it fall to the floor. She steps out of the fallen garment and out of her impossibly high shoes. Rey balances her hand on the edge of the porcelain and gently eases her toes over the side and into the steaming liquid. Slowly sinking her bare skin into the water, she gasps at the foreign feeling. 

 

Rey sank into the warm embrace of the water. All of her troubling thoughts washed away, leaving behind only this moment. Taking a deep breath, she fully submerged herself in the basin. Sweeping the water from her face when she came back up for air, she let out a girlish giggle at the absurdity of it all. Just last night, she was sleeping in the sand blown remains of an AT-AT. She was in a constant state of hunger and thirst, neither of them ever being fully satiated. Now, it felt like she was in a waking dream. Rey was living the life that didn’t belong to her. Surrounded by luxury, clean, and with a full belly. Rey had eaten so much at dinner that she thought that she may burst. It was a foreign thing, having so much food laid out before her like it had been at dinner. She was sure that she had offended everyone at dinner when she devoured her food with a fervor. Vania Flast looked like she was about to suffer an aneurysm out of shock. Armitage hadn’t looked amused. Rey chuckled, thinking that they’d probably require her to learn how to eat like a proper lady if she was going to become Empress. 

 

_Empress of the First Order._

 

The title was a daunting one, but at this moment, Rey was willing to do anything if it meant she’d continue being able to enjoy these types of moments. 

 

_No more hunger. No more thirst. No more constant danger._

_Baths._

 

The price may be worth it in the end. 

 

0000000

 

After her bath, Rey wrapped herself in a satiny robe and wandered down the spiral staircase into the gargantuan dressing room. She ran her hands along the luxurious fabrics, marveling at the softness of each garment. She opened every drawer until she found what she was searching for. She pulled the cowl from the safe place she had left it in and pressed it to her nose. 

 

_Spices. Smoke. Earth._

 

Rey knew that she should probably return it to it’s proper owner, but she couldn’t deny the comfort that it had provided her with earlier in the day. 

 

She slipped a delicate nightgown she had discovered during her search over her head. The fabric slid down her skin lusciously, sending tingles across her body. She layered the cowl over her shoulders and wandered back up the stairs to her bed. 

 

Rey pulled back the supple covers and clambered onto the achingly soft mattress. She nestled her head into the luxurious pillow and snuggled her nose into the edge of the cowl that was nestled around her. Sighing contentedly, she wistfully drifted away into a peaceful sleep.

 

0000000000

 

_She was on a ship again._

_She walked down a curved hall and came up behind a tall, broad figure standing in the doorway of the ship’s cockpit. Bright sunlight streamed in through the circular grid of the transparisteel viewport. Rey could feel his heartache reverberating around him._

_She snaked her arms around his middle, pressing her nose into is back, inhaling deeply. After all this time, his smell still intoxicated her._

_He turned himself around in her arms and placed his large hands on the sides of her face, his thumbs tracing a path back and forth across her skin,_

_“I love you,” he murmured, his warm brown eyes boring down into hers. Before she had the chance to say anything, he pressed his mouth to hers. His lips moved against hers slowly, laying the softest kisses. He gently traced the seam of her mouth with his tongue, asking her permission for entry. She wrapped her fingers in his long, dark hair, pulling him closer and meeting his tongue with hers. Their kiss deepened, each pass of their entwined mouths becoming full of heat and hunger. She felt the warmth pooling deep in her belly. She needed to be closer. She needed more of him._

_Feeling her desire, he entwined his arms around her waist and easily hoisted her into his arms. She wrapped her legs around his middle, breaking their heated kiss,_

_“I know,” she smiled facetiously._

_His face split into a wide smile, his eyes sparkling,_

_“You know, you really are impossible,” he growled, his mouth crashing into hers once more._

 

00000000

 

Rey’s eyes fluttered open.

 

She sat up, surveying her surroundings. She’d expected to be back in her hammock in her AT-AT, the previous day a delirious dream. Much to her surprise, she was in her stunning bedroom inside the Imperial Palace. The morning light was streaming in the mammoth transparisteel window, the flow of the busy speeder traffic unchanged from the previous night. 

 

She’d slept more soundly than ever in her entire life. Sleep, like everything else on Jakku, wasn’t easy to come by. Whenever she was able to succumb to her exhaustion, her dreams were plagued with nightmares of a crashing ship and a burning jungle. This change was beyond welcome. She felt like she had been asleep only a moment before she was awakened by her dream. In the past, she’d wake up in a panic, drenched in sweat, tears, or both. This morning she felt…different. This dream had been good. Delicious, even. 

 

Rey bit her lip as the memory of the dream echoed through her mind. She’d never been kissed before and wondered how accurate her dream would be when it came to the real-life possibility. She’d more than likely never find out if she went back to Jakku. Rey knew now that she’d never be able to bring herself to return to the desert. Not after a taste of what life was like away from there.

 

Armitage had been right. She had enjoyed being taken care of. Rey had known enough hardship throughout her life that she’d trade almost anything for the opportunity to escape. She’d marry him if that meant that she could keep her freedom from the life of a scavenger. She realized that she didn’t know him well, yet, but she was willing to try. He was kind to her and she liked him well enough. Friendship would surely come and if she was lucky, maybe even love. A love like she had witnessed in her dream.

 

Moments later, Beedee shuffled in with a breakfast cart. Rey ambled out of bed to explore the cart’s contents. She filled her plate up with everything. Exotic fruits, elegant pastries, and piping hot sausage. Wrapping herself in the warm cocoon of Kylo’s cowl, she wandered out onto the terrace and settled into one of the plush chairs to eat her breakfast.

 

Beedee shuffled out to join her, handing her a cup of hot caf. 

 

Rey hugged the steaming mug to her chest and admired the glittering city spread out before her. She could definitely get used to this. She’d made her decision. She knew without a single shred of doubt that this was the place she was meant to be. Taking a shaky breath, she summoned the droid, 

 

“Beedee, please send a com to the Emperor. Inform him that I have decided to stay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long since my last update!! Chapter 3 was a tough one to write, so I needed a break before diving in to this one. As usual, check out my Pinterest if you want to see into my brain, haha [Vision Boards!!](https://www.pinterest.com/kirstenbohling/writing-visual-inspiration/)
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> [Have a listen to the Stardust soundtrack!](https://open.spotify.com/user/xxmetalhead89xx/playlist/1n9FxZshsf73Ru4G7t2Xre?si=tFZMHUonQSOcVbxwTpjluQ)
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> Follow me on AppleMusic: KayBohls
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> [Come say hi on Tumblr](https://kaybohls.tumblr.com/)


	5. Making the Best of It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “And I’ve been burning with a fire inside and I’ll be here until the day you die.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh, finally an update!!! I am so so sorry that it has been so long since I have posted a new chapter! I got a serious dose of life right after I published chapter four and my inspiration bubble burst for a hot minute. My bubble came back in full force with a few plot bunnies but I want to assure you that I will never ever abandon this fic! This is my baby and I am so grateful to all of you who are reading, commenting, and leaving kudos! I am forever thankful for you and look forward to every single one!! I have a couple Christmas WIPs that I am trying to finish and then my focus will be back full time on Stardust!! Love you all!!

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/144005946@N02/44552113342/in/dateposted-public/)

 

Rey sat on the terrace in her quarters admiring the first light of Coruscant Prime as it began to shine warmly in between the sparkling skyscrapers of Galactic City. She nuzzled into the black cowl that was draped around her shoulders and took a sip of the hot caf that was nestled between her hands. It had been six weeks since she had left Jakku but she still wasn’t used to the air not being scorching hot. The garment had been invaluable to her, especially during her first few days on the cool city planet when she would feel overwhelmed with the gravity of her decision. She swathed herself in it like a protective cocoon and as soon as she put it on, a feeling of comfort would encompass her like a warm blanket. She didn’t have any intentions on returning it to it’s rightful owner and he hadn’t ever come to reclaim it.

 

Over the last few weeks, she had honored the promise she made with herself. She avoided Kylo Ren as much as she was able to and gave all of her attention to the Emperor. It was for the best as it seemed to be their close proximity that triggered her sudden confounding need for him as it had in the past. He wasn’t around much lately, probably off galavanting across the galaxy doing Gods know what for the First Order. Still, from time to time, Rey would spot his dark form from across the hanger bay or down the Great Hall. In those moments, she’d instantly feel the electric pull to him and he’d lift the gaze of his visor to meet hers. She’d tear her eyes away in a flash to busy herself with some sort of distraction and when she would look up again, he would be gone. 

 

It had taken some time to get used to all the splendor, but the Imperial Palace was finally starting to feel like a home. Rey had grown fond of the people who surrounded her. Her empress lessons with Vania Flast had been daunting at first. The older woman wasn’t one you’d associate with the word “kindness”. She was a brutal teacher, constantly reminding her to stand up straight and keep her shoulders back. Over time, combined with Vania’s never ending berating, the visual signs of the scavenger girl began to peel away, revealing the makings of an elegant woman underneath. As Rey progressed in her lessons, the stern older woman’s attitude around her began to soften. She could almost see a sense of pride in Vania’s eyes when the transformation from desert orphan to elegant lady had fully been successful. The expansive amount of glamorous clothing in her vast wardrobe helped this immensely. Rey couldn’t help but feel like an empress in the stunning gowns that had been provided for her. Kai Mahlo, it turned out, was an incredibly talented man. He weaved Rey’s hair in impossible ways and painted her eyes in the most beautiful shades of black, silver, and gold. Her favorite companion by far, was the girl, Rose Tico. She was never short of a smile and having a girl close to her own age around helped fill a lonely void in Rey’s heart that she didn’t know she had: the need for a friend. 

 

After mastering her empress lessons, Rey would spend most of her days wandering the palace and exploring its vast halls and many rooms. She’d meander down the wide halls, testing doorways to see if they’d open for her. During her explorations, she’d stumbled into an elegant long room with lofty arches and towering shelves that may have served as a library in its past life. Most of the shelves were empty and the volumes that still resided there contained the magnificent history of The Empire and it’s ruler: Palpatine. She’d discovered countless rooms during her daily wandering, everything from wide open chambers, to cozy apartments. Rey had even found her way up to the top of the tallest spire on the ziggurat and marveled at the majesty that was Galactic City for so long that she’d witness the sun sink down below the horizon, revealing the glittering metropolis sprawled out as far as the eye could see. As she explored the palace, she couldn’t help but feel the presence of many lives that had been lived and lost around her. It felt like the palace served a different, more important purpose long before it was the home to the emperor. No matter where she wandered, Rey always found herself back in front of the enchanting set of double doors that Armitage insisted housed nothing of consequence. She couldn’t help but doubt what the emperor had told her as she swept up to it one day, her black gown trailing behind her, and ran her hand gingerly down the seam between the set of ornate doors. They pulled her in, like a magnet, and she was instantly entranced by the pattern inlaid within the duristeel. Fine lines burst outwards from the center like a starburst, cascading outwards from elaborately carved handles that swirled upwards in fascinating spirals. She leaned her head against the cool metal, closing her eyes for a moment to imagine what could possibly be inside that constantly drew her here. Taking a deep breath, she shivered as she _felt_ the color green, the rush of water, and sunlight streaming in in delicate, sparkling beams. She breathed in the feeling, desperate for entrance, when a mechanical voice interrupted her meditative state,

“My Lady Rey, I do believe that your free time has come to an end. You should come with me so you will not be late for your dinner with the emperor.”

Rey let out a soft sigh before lifting her head from the door, letting her fingers linger for a moment longer,

“Thanks, Beedee, I’ll be right up.”

 

Rey wound her way back through the halls, thinking to herself about the sensations she had just experienced. She wondered how she was able to imagine the contents of the room and if what she imagined could possibly be true. What was the force that kept pulling her towards it? It wasn’t dissimilar to what she felt whenever she and Lord Ren were in a close vicinity to each other. That pull. It was like an electric current, buzzing to life in the air around her, charging everything with an intoxicating hum. She made her way into the turbolift and absentmindedly played with the hem of her sleeve as she contemplated that exhilarating feeling. This power, whatever it was, kept pulling her in different directions and invaded her dreams. Dreams that were pleasant for once, not like the nightmares she’d experience during her time on Jakku where fire and screams would flash through her mind. She had dreamt over and over since that first night about the dark haired man. She ran her hands down the bodice of her gown, biting her red lip as she remembered with a thrill the vivid details of the last time he had entered in her mind while she slept. His face hovered close to hers, beauty marks scattered across his face like the constellations in the sky, as his honey-colored eyes bored into hers, the words “I love you” tumbling across his full lips before he pressed them to hers. She let out a soft moan as she felt the ghost of his large hands wander down her body as he curled his strong arms around her, pressing her body to his broad chest as she wound her fingers through his long, inky hair. His mouth claimed every inch of her exposed skin, exploring down her body as she shivered beneath his touch. 

 

_Who are you?_

 

Her eyes flashed open as the turbolift came to a halt and she let out a stuttering breath as an electric feeling enveloped her, setting her skin aflame. There it was again. That pull.

Kylo Ren stood before her in the hall, his dark form as imposing as ever with his black mask gazing emotionlessly at her as she stood shellshocked in the lift,

“Lord Ren,” his named tumbled effortlessly over her lips as her breath caught in her throat, resisting the urge to be nearer to him, to answer the call of this strange pull but she remained rooted to the spot. 

 

“Hello, your worship,” his deep voice reverberated through the modulator in his mask. She wondered what his natural voice sounded like, would it be similar to what she heard now?

 

“I thought you’d be off policing the Galaxy, what brings you back to the palace?”

 

“I go wherever the Emperor needs me, highness,” he answered blandly, cocking his head to the side as he seemed to inspect her appearance, “You’re certainly looking the part, aren’t you? It looks like they stamped out every bit of that scrappy scavenger girl I found on Jakku.”

 

“She’s still here!” Rey stated defiantly, lifting her chin proudly, trying desperately to hang onto the part of the scavenger that remained inside her. 

 

“Not from what I see.”

 

“Maybe you need to lift that visor once in a while and look with your actual eyes,” Rey stated defiantly. Kylo stood a heavy step forward, effectively boxing her in against the back wall of the lift. She looked up into the expressionless mask through her lashes, seeing only her reflection in the visor looking back at her,

 

“You have no idea how badly I want to,” he murmured through the modulator, inching ever closer to her. Her eyelashes fluttered as that familiar comforting scent washed over her.

 

_Spices. Smoke. Earth._

 

Breathless from his closeness to her, the magnetizing pull sang as the distance between them closed. She reached up and laid her hand against the cool metal of his mask, tracing the delicate silver bands with her finger and breathed,

“Then why don’t you?”

 

Kylo slowly reached his gloved hand up and cupped the curve of her face. Rey quietly sighed, closing her eyes as she melted into his touch as his leather-clad thumb traced a small circle across her skin. 

 

“Lady Rey, there you are. I have been attempting to locate you for some time,” a female mechanical voice rang out into the lift and Kylo jerked his hand away in a flash. Rey quickly stepped around the dark knight and out of the lift,

 

“Yes, Beedee, thank you for your efforts,” Rey’s heart thundered in her chest as she glanced back momentarily at Kylo, his faceless mask staring back at her as the turbolift doors slid to a close. She took a steadying breath and followed the droid down the hall to her rooms.

 

“Stars, my lady, you look beautiful,” Rose breathed with a sigh as Rey emerged from her dressing room, finally ready for her evening with the Emperor. She turned to look in the full-length mirror, running her hands down the bodice with a smile. Kai had worked wonders with her yet again. She wore a simple black gown that hugged the curve of her hips before sweeping down gracefully to the floor in soft waves. The deep neckline settled below her shoulders and softly framed the slope of her breasts leading to sleeves that travelled down to her wrists. A simple gold belt adorned her waist with a matching choker around her throat. Kai had weaved a section of her hair with a glittering gold and slicked it back into a sleek knot at the base of her neck. Her eyes were painted with flecks of gold and her lips were a vibrant red. She felt beautiful and romantic, perfect for the surprise special evening that Armitage had planned for her. 

Since her arrival at the palace, Rey had dined with the Emperor every evening. It had been an excellent way for the pair to get to know each other which was Armitage’s wish back on Jakku and Rey was determined to honor her side of the bargain. He had been patient with her from the beginning when her manners were most certainly not up to snuff for the lady she was bound to turn into. As time wore on and Rey became used to the proper etiquette for dining in a palace, the walls between them began to break down. He would regale her with tales of the glory of the Empire and his time of watching the end unfold from the shadows as a child. She was surprised to learn that he lived part of his childhood on Jakku and was on the planet for the infamous battle that tore the Empire down. He told tales of the rise of the First Order in an animated fashion and described how he rose through the ranks as a young man, working hard for every promotion. He listened in fascination as she described her trials growing up alone on the desert planet and his eyes glistened as she told him about the voice that would lull her to sleep as she wished that that voice would come and whisk her away some day,

 

“Then I found you and made your dreams come true, didn’t I my desert flower?”

 

She would duck her head with flushed cheeks and smile. No, it wasn’t how she imagined it, but she did get her wish. 

 

Rey swept her way down the plush hallway to the turbolift to make her way down to the Great Hall to meet with the Emperor for dinner. Striding into the lift, she leaned her head softly against the back wall and closed her eyes, thinking back to just moments ago when she was up against this same wall with Kylo looming down over her, summoning a delicious heat that pooled deep in her belly. What was about him that made her feel that way? She knew nothing about the man and had never seen his face or felt the touch of his skin on her own. And yet, just being close to him set her afire. At times, it felt that he may feel the same way towards her but they were always yanked from those moments by one or the other saying something snarky to spoil the moment. Now that she was thinking about it, it seemed that the two of them could never be in the other’s presence without arguing.

The lift came to a stop and Rey strode out of it as soon as the doors began to separate, eager to get away from the lingering presence of Kylo that remained inside. She made her way down the towering great hall to the man who waited for her at the end of it. The emperor stood proudly in front of her, dressed in his usual all black. He swept into a graceful bow upon her arrival, snatching her hand up to place a soft kiss to her knuckles. This was a familiar gesture, one that Armitage repeated every time he saw her and would ghost a kiss on her forehead when they would say farewell. As usual, he took her hand in his, wrapped it around his arm, and led her out into the cold night air. The pair of them gracefully strolled down the long, sweeping staircase to a waiting speeder. 

 

A waiting man bowed low at their arrival and opened the door, allowing them to sit in the roomy interior of the sleek vehicle. They sat in a relative silence as the doors slid shut and the speeder was lifted effortlessly into the air by the driver. Rey stared in wonder out the transparisteel windows as they seamlessly whizzed away from the palace and up to the higher levels of traffic. It was her first time out of the palace since her arrival and she breathlessly stared as her eyes tried hard to take in every single bit of the city surrounding her as Armitage reached out across the seat and laced his fingers with hers,

 

“Do you miss it, Flower?” 

 

“What, Jakku?” The emperor kindly smiled down at her and nodded, “No, your majesty, I don’t. You have given me so many beautiful things and taken away every care or worry I ever had. I feel safe at the palace, and everyone has been so kind…”

 

“You deserve it, my darling. I told you that I wanted to take care of you, didn’t I?” Armitage raised her hand to his mouth, his cool blue eyes sparkling into hers as he pressed a heated kiss to her knuckles. He raised his eyes from hers after a beat and looked out the window with glee, “Ah! We have arrived at our first destination!”

 

The speeder softly landed on an impossibly high landing pad at the top of one of the towering skyscrapers. Armitage murmured something to the driver before stepping out of the vehicle, making his way around to Rey’s door and holding out a hand for her to step out. They walked up to a set of gilded doors surround by soft lights. He held the door open for her and led her into the building by her hand. Inside was a massive room with towering floor-to-ceiling windows swathed in yards of deep purple fabric. Dozens of tables lined the room, each adorned with a flickering light and a golden flower. Armitage led her to a table and pulled out a gleaming gold chair out from the table for her to sit. 

They sat together and enjoyed delicacy after delicacy as Armitage regaled her with what the restaurant was like at the height of the Empire. The establishment was called The Pinnacle and it was situated at the highest level of the tallest building in the Federal District of Galactic City. After their dinner, Armitage led Rey to the windows to show her the awe inspiring view of the city below. Laid out before them, nestled in the twinkling lights was the towering ziggurat of the Imperial Palace that they called home, shining like a beacon in the dark. Rey’s eye began to glisten at the beautiful sight when Armitage wound his arm around her waist and pulled her close to him, leaning down and murmuring in her ear as soft music filtered around them,

“Dance with me.”

Without waiting for her reply, the emperor pulled her against him. His arm was wrapped around her waist as his other wrapped around her hand in a cool embrace. They gently swayed back and forth to the music as Rey softly laid her head against his shoulder. Rey closed her eyes and tried to center herself in this moment with the man who was her salvation, her patron of a better life, and perhaps some day, her husband. She needed to focus on this man here in front of her and keep her mind from wandering towards the non-existent one in her mind and the dark knight she always seemed to find herself inexplicably drawn to. The dark-haired man was never far from her thoughts as he always seemed to show up in her dreams night after night since she came to the palace. Kylo Ren was a confusing enigma, a man who was a literal mystery and she craved to know what was beneath the dark persona he wore so well. She shoved the thoughts of those other men deep down and nestled her head into Armitage’s shoulder as the music floated through the air around them and focused on the feeling of his cool hand that was resting on her waist. She felt his heart beat slowly beneath her cheek as she quietly inhaled, curious to know if the emperor’s smell would make her feel the same sort of comfort that her borrow black cowl would.

 

_Spices. Smoke. Earth._

 

She tucked away her instant disappointment when she found that the emperor’s scent lacked anything truly noticeable or remarkable besides clean. At least there was that. Rey couldn’t help but enjoy the new intimate closeness that their dance provided. Their life at the palace was very formal and the two of them were hardly ever truly alone. She was thankful for this moment to feel close to her possible intended, to have this closeness with the man who was here, who was real and who wanted her. Armitage leaned his head against her hair as their gentle sway came to a stop,

 

“Rey,” he murmured into her hair. She lifted her cheek from his shoulder and looked up into his cool, blue eyes, their noses almost touching. Her breath hitched as his eyes flickered down to her mouth for a brief moment as he slowly leaned forward. She closed her eyes and tilted her face towards him, expecting his lips to find hers for the first time but they found her ear instead, “There’s something else I’d like to show you, if you’d let me.” She let out a soft sigh of disappointment, meeting his eyes again with a small smile,

“Yes, of course. I’d be honored.”

 

Moments later, they stepped out of the speeder once more into an empty, bowl-shaped arena. Various spires and buildings surrounded them in a circle, towering overhead. Huge statues stood guard over the perimeter of the square and colorful banners floated in the cool evening breeze. Rey looked around in amazement as Armitage led her to the center of the plaza with his hand intertwined in hers. They walked up to a large stone that was protruding from the epicenter of the mammoth plaza, 

“This is Umate. It is the highest and last remaining exposed peak of the Manarai Mountains that covered the planet. I, I thought that since you had such a relationship with the land where you come from, that you’d appreciate being able to see what is left of the land here on your new home, that is, if you choose to continue to stay here with me,” Armitage spoke almost nervously, “This peak was considered sacred and used to be guarded by monks of the Flames of Umate who patrolled here to prevent tourists from chipping away at the stone. They used meditate while touching the stone to try and connect with the inner-spirit of the planet.”

He stood anxiously watching her, trying to gauge her reaction. She wordlessly gazed at the stone, pulling her hand away from Armitage’s as she took a step towards the exposed peak. Rey reached out and brushed her fingers against the stone, gasping as a slew of images flooded her mind.

 

_She is on a jagged rocky island swathed in green. There is a flash of red. A large hand softly grazes the seam of her mouth as rain begins to fall. She is transported to a room dripping in every shade of green with delicate beams of light streaming in from above and the soft sound of rushing water envelopes her. Ahead of her is the silhouette of a tall, broad shouldered man, cloaked in black. She reaches out for him and he slowly turns. She sees the inky waves of his hair and a glimpse of a face scattered with a mesmerizing constellation of beauty marks and honey-colored eyes._

 

Rey yanked her hand back suddenly from the stone, reeling from what the stone had shown her. 

 

“Flower, are you alright?” Armitage asked, pulling her into his arms.

 

“Yes, yes I’m fine. I just got a very odd feeling when I touched the stone,” she gave the concerned man a sympathetic smile, trying to brush off the sense of alarm she was feeling, “Thank you for taking me here, I’ll remember it always.”

 

“I hope you will,” he smiled down at her as he took both of her hands in his, taking a deep breath, “There was actually another reason I brought you to this special place. I feel that over the last few weeks, you and I have gotten to know each other well as we had set out to do when I discovered you on Jakku. It feels like ages ago and I am proud of how far you have come from that scavenger girl I found fighting for her life in the sand. Rey, I believe that you are ready for me to show you to my world, and if you’d let me, I’d like to introduce you as my future empress.” Armitage released her hand and reached into his pocket, producing a small box. He lifted the lid and revealed a dizzyingly large ring.

This was it. The moment they had first discussed to her shock and confusion back on that fateful day on Jakku. Her heart thudded in her chest as she stood at the precipice with this man. If she went any further, there would certainly be no turning back. If she would decide not to move forward with him, then where would she go, back to the Goazan Badlands of Jakku? He wouldn’t want to keep her around if she didn’t agree to be his wife and she desperately wanted to stay as far away from the desert as she could. This was the bargain. She couldn’t deny that she enjoyed her life with him and the thought of having something more was exciting to her. With the two distinct paths laid out before her, that same feeling that told her to leave Jakku was pushing her towards one side. Stay. 

“Yes, Armitage, I will.”

 

The emperor breathed a heavy sigh of relief and cracked a wide smile across his pale face,

 

“Excellent.”

He pulled the ring from its box and slid the heavy red stone onto her waiting hand. He pulled her closer to him and caressed her cheek with his cool hand, firmly taking hold of the curve of her chin and pulled her towards him. Her eyes fluttered shut as he pressed a soft kiss to her lips, sealing their agreement. Rey wrapped her hands over his slight arms, eager to explore the kiss further but Armitage resisted under her touch. The kiss wasn’t at all like she had imagined in her dreams with the dark-haired man. No fireworks like she had wished for. It was like two strangers meeting, formal and mechanical. He pulled away from her and pressed a kiss against her forehead before leading her back towards the speeder. Rey’s eyes flittered back and forth as she watched the flurry of speeders and sparkling windows whiz by her window. Every moment from now on would be different as they barreled towards their future together and it was nothing like what she envisioned it would be. 

 

A few days later, Rey swept down the Great Hall with a flurry of attendants trailing after her every step. Ever since the staff had been notified of her new official status, everyone had instantly become more attentive. She barely was allowed a moment’s peace as there was always someone accompanying her. 

“It is important to protect the future empress, Flower,” Armitage had insisted. 

Kai fussed over her hair and gently made sure that her silver-starred headpiece was straight before doing a once-over down her crimson gown. He had outdone himself once more, making sure that she was equipped with the proper attire to give the galaxy the best first impression of their future empress. Her gown hugged the base of her shoulders and swept straight down to the floors leaving a billowing train that trailed behind her every step. The shimmersilk bodice followed every curve of her body that flared out at the waist stopping at the toes of her shoes. Kai had left he hair falling down her back in soft waves and painted her eyes black with flecks of silver. Rey glanced across the hall at her future husband as his own attendants dusted off his clean pressed lapels and straightened the golden laurel wreath that was resting on his auburn hair. Armitage brushed the attendants away with disdain and strode outside to the distant roar of a crowd,

“There’s a lot of excited people out there to see you, my lady,” Kai smiled at her, giving her one last look. His eyes stopping on the crystal shard hanging around her neck and his smiled faltered, “Rey, my darling, I think it is time to let this trinket go.” Her hand flew up to her memento in alarm, desperate for him not to take her one precious possession from her as hot tears began to prick at her eyes,

 

“Please,” she whispered.

 

Kai gazed at her sympathetically, giving her a sad smile. 

“I’ll give it to Rose to put in your rooms. You can wear it there but it shouldn’t be worn to any official functions, do you understand? It would send the wrong message to certain people. As the empress, you’re expected to be…more.”

Rey sniffed as she reached behind her and delicately removed the cherished item and carefully set it in Kai’s waiting palm.

“There, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” Kai smiled, “Now you’re perfect, my darling.”

 

She watched the group walk away to a viewing area within the palace, leaving her momentarily alone to listen to the emperor’s speech before it was her turn to emerge from the palace doors.

“People of the First Order, I stand before you today, not only as your emperor, but as a man in love. As I’m sure you’ve already heard whispers of, I am here today to introduce you to my future wife. I had scoured the galaxy for a woman who was fit to be your empress. Had my advisors had their way, I would be marrying a girl from a core world who knew nothing of the real world. I am happy to say that fate had other plans. It wasn’t long ago that I found myself stranded on the desert planet of Jakku. It was there that I found her. She was a creature of the desert, almost feral when I found her fighting for her life in the unforgiving sands. I saved her life that day and when we met, I immediately saw her potential. I whisked her away to a better life and shaped her into the woman that she is today,” the emperor continued his declamation, eating up the attention from the crowd. It was strange to hear him speak of saving her life and of love when neither was true. Rey’s stomach twinged when she heard him call her feral and said that he was the one who had shaped who into who she had become when it was her own hard work that had earned the respect of the people around her. 

She took a step forward as it became time for her to join Armitage on the steps. Rey paused for a moment as she saw the silhouette of a dark figure from the corner of her eye. Lifting her eyes, she found the emotionless visor of Kylo Ren’s mask. There it was again, that pull. She held his gaze for a few moments, resisting that urge to close the gap as the voice of her future husband echoed throughout the hall around them. Kylo took a step towards her and silently held out a gloved hand. Her eyes flickered to his proffered hand and back up to his visor. His wordless offer hung heavily in the air between them. 

_Leave now and never look back._

 

Taking a shaky breath, she silently shook her head and turned towards her future that was laid out before her as Armitage’s voice rang out, 

“I present to you, the Lady Rey of Jakku. She is one of your own and will be Empress of the First Order.”

She steadied herself and plastered on a wide smile as she strode out onto the step into a sea of holocams and flashes of light as cameras took picture after picture. Rey accepted Armitage’s outstretched hand and the two of them stood proudly in front of the crowd, the picture of royalty. The emperor smiled down at her, his cool blue eyes twinkling. He reached his gloved hand to hug her chin with his thumb and pulled her in for a chaste kiss, making the crowd go wild. Her heart thudded in her chest as Armitage pulled away with a smile, 

“Isn’t this wonderful, my darling?”

 

“Yes, quite wonderful,” she murmured wistfully, glancing over her shoulder to meet the black gaze of a silver framed visor that she felt burning into her.

On the surface, they were a vision of majesty, a couple in love. Rey knew she should be happy in this moment, her future of safety and comfort forever sealed, but that still small voice in the back of her mind told her that this wasn’t how it was supposed to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Take a listen to my Stardust Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/1237936816/playlist/3tQdFMufIgPUIOUrrLjF8o?si=oBVrZttiQD6LpWBMjU3-Dw%E2%80%9D>Take%20a%20listen%20to%20my%20Stardust%20Playlist%20on%20Spotify</a>%0A%0A<a%20href=)
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Come say hi on Tumblr and on Apple Music: @KayBohls


	6. Love, Honor, and Obey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Emperor pursed his lips as he scowled down at her, a warning flashing in his cold blue eyes. He leaned down and coldly murmured into her ear, sending a bone chilling shiver down her spine,  
> “Careful, Flower, that your personal interest not interfere with the vows you made to me. Love, honor, and obey, remember?”

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/144005946@N02/46524449861/in/dateposted-public/)

 

 

Today was the day of the wedding.

Today was the day that the Emperor would wed the maddening scavenger girl he stumbled upon on the dusty waste of a planet, Jakku. He had saved her skin that day and his life had never been the same since. The future empress was an impossibly stubborn, maddening creature and a kriffing potty mouth to boot. She was all of those things but he couldn’t deny that she was also charming, unfailingly kind, and always tried to see the best in the people around her, even him. 

From the moment he saw her, he felt it. The pull to the light. 

It was like a fire had burst to life in his soul. It burned deeply, unbinding him from the darkness that had held on with vicious claws for as long as he could remember. He closed his eyes as he tried to recall a time before the pain, before the rage in him furled out into the monster who was Kylo Ren. The feeling of that blinding light was foreign to him after keeping himself closed off for so long. His darkness surround everything, devouring everything, never giving any mercy as it devoured everything in it’s wake. 

It was still a mystery why the Force had pushed them together but he knew it that it had a plan for them. He had seen glimpses of it when he touched his bare skin against hers, flashes of the future that may or may not come true. 

 

_Difficult to see. Always in motion is the future._

 

The reminder he was taught echoed through his mind as he thought of the vision he had recieved. The Force had shown him a series of images and not all were ones he would want to come to pass. The flashes of red and blue and the memory of Rey crumpling to the ground in a heap made his stomach churn as waves of protective anger rolled over him. What he wouldn’t give, what he wouldn’t do to protect her from that fate. 

The vision also offered him a taste of joy on top of the sorrow. Wandering kisses and her glorious smile hovered just out of his reach, getting further and further away with each passing day. 

Today was the day that their fate was sealed and it seemed like none of those visions would ever come to pass after the moment she became his. This was the road she was on, the one she was meant to take. It addled his mind to think of why they were continuously pulled towards each other when she was never meant to be his in the first place. It wasn’t for a lack of trying on the part of The Force. Any moment he was near her, the air became charged with a delicious frisson of electricity that sang when they helplessly answered its call. 

He felt it in the shuttle in the moments before he delivered her to her future husband, when she laid her hands breathlessly upon his mask, silently begging to release the latch and reveal him. If he had let her have her way, she would have exposed his true face and his emotions that he tried so hard to keep hidden. Emotions that were unbecoming of an officer of the Emperor with his future bride. Before that moment, he had felt her fear coming off of her in furious waves and did what he could to try and help her. He didn’t expect to never see his cowl again, smiling to himself as he thought that it may have brought her some amount of comfort. 

That exhilarating pull surfaced again that night when he suffered from a delicious daydream, imagining his mouth on hers and his bare hands skimming across her gleaming, golden skin. And again when she whispered those words as she delicately traced the lines of his mask with her finger,

_Then why don’t you?_

It took every ounce of self control he had learned in his training to not throw off his mask, press her up against the turbolift wall and devour her mouth right then and there. 

Mere moments before she was announced as the future Empress of the First Order, the fire between them ignited again. She stood alone, waiting for her moment on the steps of the Imperial Palace with the Emperor, a breathtaking vision of royalty. He could feel the the disappointment radiate off of her when Hux claimed that she had been feral when he found her. Kylo squeezed his hands into tight fists at the thought of anyone saying that she was anything she was not. Potty mouth? Yes. Feral? No. 

He silently seethed as the Emperor claimed to be her rescuer and salvation when the slimy cur hid in the shuttle the entire time they were planet side on Jakku. The anger rolled off of him as Hux claimed to be responsible for turning her into an Empress when it was the girl’s own, pure stubbornness that got her to where she was. He wanted nothing more in that moment than to whisk her away and jet off to the far reaches of the Outer Rim to save her from being anchored to this wretch of a man. 

His breath stopped short when she lifted her eyes to meet the blank gaze of his visor, her stardust-speckled hazel eyes wide with doubt. Eyes so beautiful, he couldn’t help but be held prisoner by them, held forever in the shining gleam of her light. Like a fool, he held his gloved out to her in a silent plea, begging her to leave with him there in that moment. Disappointment seeped through his veins when she unhappily shook her head no and stepped out onto the sunlit platform. What did he expect? What would they do, spend their lives running from the First Order, forever waiting for it to all come crashing down on their heads? He knew Hux would be relentless in a search to recover his stolen property, using every available resource he had his disposal to reclaim his bride. He tried to shake the feeling away but it burned even brighter when she turned her gaze to meet his once more. 

This was wrong. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be, he could feel it in his bones. 

The Palace had been a flurry of activity since the announcement of the engagement. Prior to her becoming the betrothed of the Emperor officially, Rey was confined to the Imperial Palace to keep her existence a secret from the press. Once everything became official, it seemed like Hux couldn’t wait to show off his new toy to the entire galaxy. The Empress to be was whisked across all of Galactic City, making appearance after appearance with the Emperor. Kylo was oddly proud of her while he watched her blossom in her new world, far away from the dust trap of Jakku. She graciously shook hands of senators and dignitaries from every corner of the galaxy, never for a moment showing pause in any situation she was thrust into. 

She dazzled everyone she came into contact with, instantly charming them with her glorious smile and the endless amount of compassion she held for others. The empress to be appeared to be fully in her element when she visited Hospital Plaza. On their first visit, royal couple entered the building together and Rey walked quietly behind the Emperor as they toured the facility with the building’s officials. The holocams followed her back the next day and the galaxy watched in awe as the scavenger girl spent the whole day spending time with the patients within. She’d perch herself next to their beds, holding their hands as she intently listened for hours to their stories with an easy smile.   
Rey spent much of her time in the weeks before the wedding visiting the sick at Hospital Plaza and winning the hearts of the galaxy as she openly embraced it’s people with her entire being. It wasn’t long until her compassion earned her a new name that was spoken across all the constellations in the Courscant sky: The People’s Empress.

Kylo had tried his best to avoid her but it was made next to impossible when the Emperor assigned him to be her personal body guard,

“You are the only one I trust to look over my Flower when I cannot have my own eyes on her. Make sure she behaves herself and see to it that she remains civilized. We can’t have her behaving like a wild beast now, can we?”

Ever thankful for his mask, he seethed darkly, grinding his teeth and clenching his gloved fists as he resisted the urge to commit treason by slugging the Emperor in the jaw for inferring that Rey was anything less than the lady she had worked so hard to become. 

Rising to his feet, he squared his shoulders with a deep breath and deposited his helm over his raven hair. This was wrong. He wanted desperately to take her away to the furthest reaches of the galaxy but there wasn’t anything he could do to prevent this from the moment she stepped foot on the Upsilon-class shuttle and left her home behind on Jakku. It was from that moment that she belonged to Hux and the First Order and interference on his part would bring all of it crashing down on their heads. He vowed he would protect her and taking her away would only put her in danger. The resources the Emperor had at his finger tips were vast and no matter how powerful Kylo was, he couldn’t take it all on alone. He would do his duty and honor his vow any way his could. He would keep her safe. 

Kylo left his quarters and travelled the relatively short distance to the scavenger girl’s chambers, standing guard outside her door until she emerged for him to escort her down to the great hall where the ceremony was to take place. Even with her being on the other side of the door, the connection between them buzzed to life. He centered himself and focused in on her signature inside and let out a deep sigh when he felt the clouds of uncertainty that rolled over her. He reached a his hand out to brush his gloved fingers against the duristeel door, wishing he could go inside to comfort her, to take her in his arms and assure her in soft murmurs that she wasn’t alone. He snatched his hand back in a flash as the door suddenly slid open with a hiss. He stumbled back a step when the door revealed her, glimmering in the doorway like a radiant star burning brightly from the far corner of the galaxy. The Empress to be was a vision in white, a striking change from her usual red or black. It suited her so well, and her light burned that much brighter in a color that made everything about her glow like one of the Angels on the moons of Iego. 

“I’d rather not do this now,” she groused, giving him a frustrated scowl as the air sizzled with that electric pull once more. She swept her wide, glimmering skirt through the doorway and marched down the hall past him towards the turbolift.

“Yeah, me too,” he murmured before trailing after her. 

Miraculously, they were able to resist the intoxicating call while they traveled down to the main level in the turbolift and made their way towards the great hall where the ceremony was going to take place. The scavenger stopped short at the end of the hall to wait until she was summoned to go down the aisle. A lilting melody filtered into the air around them accompanied with the hushed din of the voices belonging to the multitude of guests inside. Kylo watched her carefully as a moment of doubt flittered across her delicate features. Unable to resist the call any longer, he stood a steady step towards her,

“Rey,” he murmured through his mask. She lifted her gaze to him in a flash, her eyes glimmering with something he couldn’t quite place. Hope? Hunger? Fear?

“Kylo, don’t,” she whispered as he slowly pulled one of his hands free of the black glove. Her eyes fluttered closed as he reached up to touch the golden, freckled skin on her cheek. His heart thundered in his chest as he hesitated for a moment, wondering what would happen when he pressed his bare flesh against hers. The last time, his mind was flooded with those series of images that had been burned into his mind. Would the Force show him something again or would the feeling of her satin skin against his fingers make him do something he’d regret? Kylo pushed those seeds of doubt aside, determined to feel her flesh alongside his own when a voice rang out from the end of the hall, making him snatch his hand away with a grimace. 

“Your Royal Highness!” Vania Flast strode towards them, plastering a stiff smile on her stern face, “It is time. Lord Ren, thank you for escorting our Empress from her quarters. Your dedication to her safety is admirable, but I will take it from here,” she stated curtly before turning her attention to Rey, “There’s no need to be nervous, my dear. You’ve accomplished so much, you’re ready. The Emperor is an easy man to please, just remember to love, honor, and obey him and you will have a good life here, I swear to it.”

Rey silently nodded, tearing her eyes away from his gaze and turning towards the great hall with Vania. Kylo stood silently as he watched her approach the aisle, his breath catching in his throat when she turned her head back towards him for a fleeting moment before making her way down the aisle towards her future husband. 

 

She was the Empress of the First Order now. 

 

Kylo paced darkly along the edge of the massive hall filled to the brim with guests, his eyes never leaving the Empress. Following the ceremony, she had been changed from her glittering white gown into a blood red version that was nearly as dazzling. Her headdress had been removed, replaced with a shining gold laurel wreath that matched the Emperor’s, fit for the queen that she was. He watched as Hux paraded her around the floor with her hand in his, listening to the crowd ooh and ahh as he held her chin in his hand and placed a kiss on her lips. A flash of foreign possessiveness came over him that he struggled to push away as the Emperor caged his slimy hand around her waist and began to move her around the floor in an elegant dance. The pair of them circled around in the center of the crowd. Rey was the picture of grace, elegantly sweeping across the floor in her heavy gown as if it was made of air. She moved with a dazzling grace, her entire being moved with purposeful clarity, making it painfully obvious how much of herself she had put into learning her new role. Rey twirled around in graceful wonder and momentarily flittered her eyes away from her husband’s, briefly settling upon Kylo at the back of the crowd.

This was wrong. 

The music swelled as their ceremonial first dance came to an end. Hux slowed their movements and gripped her chin once more for another chaste kiss, leaning down to murmur something in her ear before striding away. Kylo seethed as he watched her desperately search the crowd for a friendly face, looking lost in the center of the overcrowded room. The music picked up again in another dance and Rey looked frantic as the people around her began to swirl in circles around her. Kylo couldn’t stand back and leave her helpless in the middle of the dance floor, pushing his way through the guests, not caring who he bumped in the process. He swept up to her and gathered her in his arms without warning and she gave him a wild look as he startled her. He pulled her to his chest and started to guide her around the floor in an effortless breeze, Rey breathlessly looking up into his mask as the music spun around them. The connection between them sang as they made graceful circles across the floor, her crimson gown billowing out behind her in elegant, glittering waves. Kylo flexed his fingers against her warm back, eager to memorize the feeling of her body against his. Dancing with her felt meant to be, like the gravity lifted away beneath their feet. He watched as the soft hairs that framed her face bounced with each step as her eyelashes fluttered in breathless anticipation of their next move,

“You’re a lot better at this than I expected,” she murmured as she gazed up at his black visor, “do they teach dancing at Dark Lord school?”

“No,” he growled, holding her a little more firmly, “It’s an unfortunate talented I inherited in another life. I couldn’t leave you looking all pitiful and alone at your own wedding. Did your husband abandon you already?”

“He had important people to see, I assume.”

“I see. More important than his wife?” Kylo’s jaw clenched and he tightened his hold on her waist.

“That’s not any of your business, is it?” Rey snapped, her eyes flashing out into the crowd and away from his faceless gaze.

“Apologies, your _majesty_ ,” he groused in hopeless frustration. Kylo inwardly cringed. Why was it that he always had to open his idiotic mouth around her? It was like being around her made him lose all sense, all control. He pressed his mouth together in a grimace, shifting his focus back to their dance. None of it mattered. Not the Emperor, not the buzz of the crowd churning around them. Just him and her, lost to the music. Rey lifted her eyes back to him as her face softened,

“Kylo, this whatever this is between us…” 

“Don’t be afraid, I feel it too,” he murmured through the modulator.

“That’s it though, that’s what I’m afraid of. We should forget. You have to forget.”

“What if I can’t?” he stated as he slowed their movements when the music came to a close. 

“You have to. It isn’t acceptable for a man of honor, I have a husband,” she breathed. Kylo leaned forward and brought his mask to her ear,

“What about you, Rey? Will you forget?” He pulled his head away to look into her eyes as she wordlessly stared back at him, her eyes wide with remorse. He hummed with a deep satisfaction knowing that she felt so conflicted. “That’s what I thought.”

The Empress let out a shaky breath and pulled herself from his grasp, turning on her heel to walk away from him, her crimson gown furling out behind her. Kylo curled his gloved fingers towards his palm, desperate to hold onto the feeling of his hand pressed up against her back. Resisting the urge to go after the maddening beauty, he strode his way back to the shadows where he belonged. He kept watch of her from there, watching as she milled her way through the crowd, speaking to senators and visiting dignitaries from other worlds, flashing a beautiful smile here, nodding there. Somehow, even after such a short time, the scrappy scavenger girl he found in the sands of Jakku fit here in this world. He marveled at her bravery and tenacity, thinking back to her fearfulness before she walked up the steps of the Imperial Palace for the first time. 

He couldn’t help but think of what his life would be like if he knew her at another time, in another life. Would they have found each other then? The connection between them told him that the Force had a greater plan for them, some grand celestial design that wasn’t for them to know, but to discover together. They were like two halves of a whole, tied together over distance and time by a thread. It was truly tangled now, but Kylo couldn’t shake the feeling that it had brought them together here, now, in this moment.

The time wore on and eventually, the Emperor came back from the important business he was attending to to fetch his bride. The ginger-haired weasel took her hand in his and gave her a twirl, remarking to the crowd about how beautiful his empress was. How lucky were they all, to have her. He grasped her jaw possessively, making a show to kiss her deeply in front of all of their guests. The unwarranted possessiveness Kylo felt boiled beneath his skin as he watched Hux assault her mouth as she remained stiff in his arms. He held her in front of him with a wicked grin, disgustingly eyeing her from top to bottom like he was appraising a piece of art, attempting to assess her value to him now that she was his wife. He swept her hand up in his once again, pressing a kiss to her knuckles and guided her out of the hall with a smug smile on his face. 

 

Kylo paced in his chambers afterwards, rolling his head from side to side, making his neck crack loudly as he tried to calm his nerves.

 

This was wrong.

Fury rolled over him in sharp waves, festering deep inside like an oozing wound as he imagined what Hux would be doing to her now on their wedding night. He pulled his mask off, it’s closed visor making him begin to feel suffocated as his anger simmered beneath the surface, threatening to boil over at any moment. He stripped the black gloves from his hands, strangling them with his fingers before tossing them onto his bed. Lifting his datapad from his desk, he threw himself down on the mattress and started to flip through the Holonet to try and distract himself from the thoughts of her that continued to flash through his mind. He pressed his mouth into a thin grimace when he was met with image after image of her face. Closing his eyes, he tried to clear his head, to center himself away from the rage he felt when he imagined what she was doing now. His stomach turned as the thoughts drowned him, the sight of Hux running his hands across her gleaming golden skin making his flesh crawl. Kylo’s fingers curled tightly around the holopad, his knuckles turning white from the heavy weight of the pressure . He gritted his teeth as he fought the darkness that dragged him down in a vicious spiral, burning like acid in his veins- scalding, slicing, and potent. He flipped to the next image on the screen and his rage began to boil over. The royal couple graced his screen: Rey and her glorious smile with her husband’s nose pressed against her cheek, the vision of newlywed bliss. It was the final crack in his seething soul as the objects in his room began to vibrate while his darkness began to flow out of him, the holopad crumpling like a piece of paper in his hands.

 

From the next morning on, Kylo continued his new duties as her personal guard to honor his vow to protect the girl at any costs, the cost of his heartache knowing that she was now out of his reach. It ate at him like a Loth-wolf, threatening to devour him, eat him whole and leave nothing but scraps behind. He would rebuild himself and fight off the wolves, to ignore them while he faithfully served his Empress. The weeks went by and he accompanied her wherever she went, watching from the shadows as she made her regular visits to the patients at Hospital Plaza. He respected her plea for him to forget and keep his distance, never giving in to that electric pull when it called but forgetting was no use. The way her incandescent light blinded him when he first laid eyes on her on Jakku would be burned into his mind forever. 

She had been different since the day of the wedding. She didn’t fight him in conversation like usual, no push and pull between them and no wayward glances. Kylo couldn’t put his finger on what caused her to change so abruptly, all he knew was that her light burned a little dimmer than it had before, like a shard of it had been brutally chipped away. 

The day that he finally understood her shift started like any other. 

He stood, as usual, in the background while the Emperor and Empress attended an official dinner at the Senate Building. The conversation had shifted to politics, as it was prone to do, and the Empress sat quietly next to her husband, poking at her food solemnly with a fork. Kylo sensed tension growing in the air as the senator from Chandrila brought up what he thought were flaws in the Stormtrooper program that Hux’s father had created after the fall of the Empire. The Emperor bristled as those around him began to criticize his methods,

“My men are exceptionally trained, programmed from birth. I’d have you not insult me by suggesting otherwise,” he sneered, piquing Rey’s attention. She lifted her head with a steely gaze at Hux, her brows knitted together in an uneasy stare,

“What do you mean, programmed from birth?”

“Well, my darling, we are helping them, you see?” Hux crooned with a cold smile, “Our scouts find children without parents and we give them a home and a purpose. We’re doing a service to the galaxy so there aren’t little rats skittering around, digging through our trash to fend for themselves.” Rey went quiet, the hurt flickering over her delicate features. 

“You mean, like me?” 

The Emperor let out a strangled chuckle, reaching out to stiffly squeeze her hand as the attention of the entire party focused on him.

“Of course not, Flower. That’s different.”

“How? I was one of those little rats and I thought you chose me because of the life I had lived before, because I knew what real life was life and could bring that influence here. My life growing up alone on Jakku is the core of who I am. I would have given anything for someone to give me a real home,” she unhappily chewed on her lip as her eyes began to shine with unshed tears, “not turn me into an unwilling soldier for your army. Armitage, surely there has to be a better way to help the lost children of the galaxy. Let me make a home for them here, to help them and guide them to become members of your society?”

The Emperor pursed his lips as he scowled down at her, a warning flashing in his cold blue eyes. He leaned down and coldly murmured into her ear, sending a bone chilling shiver down her spine,

“Careful, Flower, that your personal interest not interfere with the vows you made to me. Love, honor, and obey, remember?” He lifted his gaze to those around them and let out a clearly manufactured laugh, “Let’s move on, shall we? We are distressing my wife, it seems. I will leave her behind to her duties at the Palace next time we meet. After all, politics and star destroyers are no place for a woman.” 

The party left the moment behind like it had never happened but Kylo felt the tension remain between the royal couple throughout the rest of the dinner. When the Emperor rose to his feet to make his way out to the landing platform, he summoned Kylo to him with a stiff wave,

“The Empress and I will go on ahead, stick around to keep an eye on the Chandrilan senator, I don’t trust him. I want to know if he says anything else against me after I’ve gone, understand?”

He gave Hux a curt nod and watched as he swept Rey’s hand into his own, leading her out of the room. Kylo remained in the shadows, watching the group of senators solemnly, listening for any sign of nonconformity when a jolt of pain ricocheted through his body, sending him staggering back towards the wall. 

 

_Rey._

 

He went bounding out of the room in a flash and out to his waiting speeder, taking off into the Coruscant sky as quickly as he could, zigzagging dangerously through the traffic to make it back to the palace in time. He haphazardly landed his speeder on the landing pad and flung himself out of the cockpit as soon as he touched solid ground. The fury he felt towards himself was palpable as he thundered down the great hall to the turbolift, silently urging it to move faster. He squared his shoulders as the turbolift slowed, ready to bolt out of the lift as soon as it stopped, but his boots were anchored firmly to the floor when the doors slid open to reveal the Emperor. Kylo stood flabbergasted as Hux pulled a handkerchief from inside his jacket and leisurely wiped a smear of dark blood from the corner of his lips. 

“Ah, Lord Ren,” the Emperor cooed in a bone chillingly satisfied tone, “I had some business to take care of on this level, I’m glad I caught you. Any news regarding the Chandrilan senator? I’m hoping we can catch him in a slip-up,” his mouth curled up into a haughty smile.

“Nothing to report,” Kylo bristled.

“Excellent. It’s about time that those who still hold ties to the Imperial Republic learn that there’s no point of trying to disobey me. I am the Emperor and I will do what I please.” Kylo allowed Hux to slide by into the lift and stepped out into the hall, silently begging for the doors to shut once again. It took everything in his power to resist the urge tingling at the tips of his fingers to ignite his lightsaber and end him, knowing from the moment the doors opened that he was responsible for her pain. Hux was like a wolf hiding amongst the sheep who had been pretending to be one of them, misleading all the good people of “his” galaxy. He’d always craved power, this much was clear to Kylo now and he would continue to take it any way he could while others around him suffered. He stood, silently seething as the doors slid shut with a hiss, humming to life as the lift began to travel to the upper floors of the palace. 

In the grip of his silent panic, Kylo cantered down the hall, his feet pounding the soft carpeted floor with all the grace of a sack of stone, any sense of nobility or decorum long forgotten as soon as he was no longer face-to-face with Hux. He bolted around the corner, quickening his pace to an all out sprint, the sound of his pulse thundering in his ears with a clanging echo that matched his heart throbbing in his chest with the thick grief and fear he felt as he ran. He slid to an abrupt halt in front of her chambers, lifting his fist to pound on the shining duristeel door and shouted her name until his voice was raw from the effort. 

After a beat, the door slid open with a hiss, revealing Rey’s stern-faced lady-in-waiting, Rose Tico. She glowered up at him from her her small height,

“Let me see her,” he pleaded, his voice breaking as his desperation bubbled to the surface, unable to conceal the emotion in his voice, “Please.”

“Her Majesty doesn’t wish to be disturbed at the moment, Lord Ren,” she sneered, drawing herself up to her full height. She clearly was unintimidated by his presence. He could tell that she was angry, but angry at him? He was puzzled but pressed on, 

“I only want to help her.”

“The Emperor has done enough, we don’t need help from his guard dog. The Empress doesn’t want to be seen and I will stop every single individual from entering until she decides she’s ready,” Rose pulled a small tool from her pocket and pointed it up at his mask, “If you try to come in here again, I will zap you with this electro-shock prod, I swear to you. You don’t scare me Kylo Ren. My loyalty is to my Empress, and I will defend her until my last breath.” 

Kylo drew in a long, shaky breath and took a step back from the fearless wisp of a girl, reluctantly giving in to her demands,

“I’ll wait.”

She grimaced and shook her head in frustration, her eyes never leaving his as she reached up to close the door with a stiff press of a button.

With a deep sigh, Kylo turned to stand with his broad back against the wall. He would stand here and wait, a silent gatekeeper, until Rey emerged from her chambers. He was used to waiting, he had done it most of his life. Waiting for the pain to end, for his darkness to ebb, waiting for his freedom from this life. None of it was like this. He paced the floor in front of her door as the time ticked by, any sense of hunger or exhaustion long forgotten once he had stood outside her door for a day. His guilt for breaking his vow to protect her, to keep her safe at all costs, sat heavy on his chest. What had happened, he couldn’t undo, no matter how badly he wanted to. It was festering like fuel in his guts, his insides dying slowly from the toxicity, needing no more than a spark to set it ablaze. The fire burnt him so badly that there was only a shell, an outline of a man. He needed her. He needed her light but he allowed Hux to dampen it, let him diffuse her brilliant glow. He vowed that he would do whatever he could to try and build her bright, flickering flame back to life, to fill the void between the two of them and build their world anew. 

The time began to dissolve into itself, as shapeless as the rain and he had nearly worn a hole in the floor by the time the door finally opened and she emerged. 

 

Red. Everything went red. His vision blurred like the angry, crackling blade of his lightsaber. He stood, silently seething in his quarters, his mind going into overdrive as it picked over every detail from the moment he first laid eyes on her since it happened. The fiery scavenger was just an echo in the eyes of this lost, broken girl. The memory of the faraway look in her eyes weighed down on him, fueling the darkness within him. He had felt their bond when she emerged but it was only a faint, flickering ghost of what it once was, her light had been diminished so immensely. The flames inside his stomach rose to his chest and began to crawl through his veins as he saw a flash of an image: the ghost of a bruise trailing from her mouth to her brow. Bacta can only do so much. Kylo’s fury took over his body and his fingers coiled into fists, squeezing forcefully around the hilt of his heavy lightsaber. He felt the metal press sharply into his skin but he could barely feel it, all he had was his rage. Waves of fury rolled off of him as the blood rose to his cheeks, anger barely touching the tip of the boiling pool of festering darkness that he was in that moment. Any sense of peace was long forgotten, the flames roared in his eyes as the dam burst. He ignited the saber with a viciously carnal scream, ready to incinerate anything it came into contact with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All aboard the pain train! *choo choo*
> 
> It’s going to get worse before it gets better but I promise you, it will get better! SO MUCH BETTER. 
> 
> I have a firm HEA policy, so don’t worry for too long! 
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading!! I have my holiday works all wrapped up, so I should be able to update this more often from here on out!!
> 
> Thank youuu for the kudos and the comments, the truly make the best writer’s fuel and I LOVE reading and responding to each and every one of them!!


	7. Where Shadows Hide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “If this was meant for me, why does it hurt so much?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buckle up, babes. The pain train is going full speed ahead this chapter but have no fear, the good stuff is JUST around the corner...MIND THE TAGS.
> 
> !!!TRIGGER WARNING!!!!
> 
> At the very beginning of this chapter, there is a graphic scene between Hux and Rey depicting abuse. If you feel this may be triggering to you at all, I have placed markers within the text to help you skip ahead to the next scene.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/144005946@N02/46032770824/in/dateposted-public/)

 

************TRIGGER WARNING STARTS HERE******************

 

The first slap crackled sharply through the room, like a sudden flash of lightening in the darkened sky. His hand struck her bare cheek and she fell to the ground in a heap from the force of it. She hadn’t expected him to be so strong but there was enough weight and strength behind it that was enough to stun her. She brought herself to her feet on quaking legs, holding her burning flesh with her hand. He glared at her with a look laced with contempt, his breathing eerily calm as he sneered down at her,

“Love, honor, and _obey_. Those were the vows you made to me, girl. You are my wife, and I expect you to honor me the way a wife ought to honor her husband.”

Rey’s thoughts took a dangerous turn, the scrappy scavenger girl inside the Empress tearing her way up to the surface. 

“You,” she challenged as her eyes narrowed, brows coming together in a fuming grimace, “You don’t scare me. You are a disgrace to your position, twisting others for your own needs. I see who you are now, you’re as much of a no one as I am, you dastardly fool. You slimy _e chu ta_. I will honor those who deserve it, not those who try to draw it from me by force.” The scavenger savagely took over her body, all sense of the gentile Empress left behind in her wake as Rey boldly lifted her arm, her balled fist colliding with his cheekbone, flaying his neck backward like a willow caught in the wind. Hux stumbled back from the force of her strike, cradling his palm to his cheek. 

He stood eerily quiet for a moment, the picture of sophisticated calm. The Emperor took a slow breath, reaching down to unbutton his jacket leisurely, stretching his neck out with a crack. She eyed him carefully as he gingerly folded the black jacket, laying in in a neat pile on her bedspread. He placidly began to roll his sleeves one by one before lifting his cool blue eyes to meet her gaze, his face melting into an unsettling grin,

“Right,” he sniffed as he took a slow step towards her, her blood beginning to run cold, “Well, then you leave me no choice, Flower.”

A sudden gush of pain jolted throughout Rey’s body. Her stomach ached, her arms lost their tension and her legs weakened as she dropped to the ground like a stone, her tongue steeped in the taste of her own blood. She shakily dragged herself to a sitting position, letting out a strangled laugh as she met his cold gaze,

“I’ve had worse,” she sneered, breathlessly pulling herself to stand, spitting a sticky glob of blood at his feet. With silent fury, he lashed out at her, beating his fist into her skin. His true self gave way, proving that he held no remorse as he delivered blow after blow with a cold zing of delight, watching her crumple to the ground in a heap of red shimmersilk. She desperately tried to drag herself away from him and was met immediately by the swift kick of his boot to her ribs, leaving her gasping for breath. 

Bruised and winded, her ribs aching with each excruciating breath and her head pounding in her ears, she cried out against the blood seeping from her mouth, the scavenger in her finally too broken to fight back. Spurred on by her attempt to create space between them, he strode over to her in seconds, winding his fingers into her hair, pulling her across the carpeted floor to the long mirror across the room. He coiled his hands around her throat, lifting her face to the mirror, shoving her close to her beaten and bloodied reflection. Her breath caught raggedly in her throat, sending a painful shock reverberating in her injured ribs as she saw the barbaric evidence of his cruelty across her once-delicate features. One of her eyes had swollen over, blood seeping from her eyelashes and a mottled purple bruise was blooming down the entire side of her face. Armitage brought his face level with hers in the mirror, cooly inspecting his handiwork in their shared reflection,

“Look what you made me do, Flower,” he breathed a heavy sigh, like she had given him no choice, pulling his face to hers. She blinked up at him fearfully through her blood-stained lashes as he forcefully brought her mouth to his for a bruising kiss. He pulled himself away, leisurely licking his lips, “I trust you have learned your lesson and won’t dishonor me again.” He tossed her away and stood to collect his jacket and stride out of the room, leaving her alone in a heap on the floor. 

 

**************TRIGGER WARNING ENDS HERE*******************

 

She laid there trembling for what felt like hours but were merely moments, blood seeping beneath her skin, ribs surely fractured. She tried to bring herself to sit but the movement sent an excruciating tremor quaking through her body. She had taken her fair share of beatings back on Jakku, but nothing compared to the punishment her husband just bestowed upon her. In the past, she healed from a stubborn willfulness, a determination to survive no matter what. As the seconds wore on, she tried to imagine her future and found nothing there but stardust. When the soul is shattered, can there be a cure? There would be no medibay, no evidence, and she was sure that Armitage would appear to be her faithful, loving husband until she disobeyed him all over again. 

“Oh Maker, Empress!”

Rey lifted her head and slowly blinked at the fuzzy image of a figure in the doorway, straining against the light seeping in through the bloodied lashes of her injured eye. Rose Tico flew to her side in a flash, landing on her knees to cradle Rey’s face gingerly in her small hands,

“Stars, what did he do to you?” Rose cried as hot tears began to run shining tracks down her round cheeks, “Here, come on, let’s get you fixed up.”

She firmly gripped Rose’s proffered hand, gingerly pulling herself to stand on her unsteady legs. She wobbled slightly as she shuffled her feet against the plush carpet, grateful for the guiding hands to lead her to sit on the edge of the bed. She sat with her eyes frozen over like the surface of a winter puddle as Rose dabbed at her cheek with a damp cloth, flashing suddenly awake in a wide-eyed panic when a pounding on the durasteel door reverberated through the room followed by the desperate cry of her name,

“Kylo,” she murmured, his name tumbling effortlessly across her mottled lips, lifting her eyes to Rose with a desperate plea, “I don’t want anyone to see me like this, especially him. Rose…”. Her lady lifted her chin with a grim determination, giving her a confident nod,

“Don’t worry, Rey. I can handle this.”

She could feel their bond, flickering faintly in the back of her mind. Taking a shuddering breath, tears welled up in her eyes, stinging as they tumbled over her lashes and down her marbled cheek. He couldn’t see her like this, beaten and broken. Kylo would surely tear the Emperor’s arms off as viciously as an angry Wookiee and then take her away in a shuttle to the furthest reaches of the galaxy, but what then? He’d tell her that he was right, that she should have taken his hand so many weeks ago and left before any of this had ever happened, but in any scenario she imagined, the might of the First Order would come screaming down on their heads. Painful sobs quaked her splintered body as she listened to him plead from the doorway. What she wouldn’t give to have known him in another life, met him another time. What a world that would be, if the two of them were able to answer that thrilling call, that magnetic pull. Fate was as cruel as death, something Rey knew first hand. It gave her a hard life alone in the brutal sands of Jakku and then tempted her with her next step, dangling the tantalizing carrot of a beautiful life, only to have it come with the steep price of having someone so near that her soul craved like she craved water as a child, but only just out of reach. Yes, their bond was powerful, but fate was a viciously unstoppable force. 

She heard the door slide closed with a soft hiss and looked up as Rose strode back into the room with her nose wrinkled in annoyance,

“I was able to keep him out, Empress, but he’s not leaving. I think Lord Ren has a soft spot for you.” Rey released a half-hearted chuckle, her ribs protesting painfully in the process, reaching up for Rose’s hand to make her way into the ‘fresher.

 

 

After a steaming hot bath and a plethora of bacta gingerly dabbed over her bruised cheek and bandages applied to her aching ribs, Rose lovingly tucked Rey into her soft bed. She laid in the dark staring at the ceiling, the pain seeping into her lungs as she tried to steady her breath. Her agony had been diminished but even after the bacta healed her wounds, the scars she bore on her soul would last forever. Her body ached and her eyes were heavy from exhaustion but nothing compared to the ache in her heart as she realized how alone she was. She reached up under her pillow and pulled the bundle of soft black fabric to her chest, tucking her chin down to nestle her nose into the gentle folds of Kylo’s cowl and inhaled as deeply as her burning chest would allow. It was faint, but the smell of him was still there after all this time.

 

_Spices. Smoke. Earth._

 

Her eyes fluttered shut as the scent washed over her, enveloping her in a protective cloud, and she drifted off into a heavy slumber, the memory of a gentle voice echoing in her mind.

 

_She had reluctantly let him pass after hearing his desperate “please” call out from the doorway. Excruciating sobs wracked her body as he bounded into the room in a flurry of black. He wordlessly loomed over her, his broad chest quaking as his shoulders rose and fell with his strenuous breathing._

_How fast had he run to get to her?_

_She averted her eyes from his gaze, ashamed by what a gruesome mess she surely was. Her hot tears trailed down her cheeks, landing in soft splotches on her blood-splattered gown. She heard a soft hiss and a heavy thump as something metal landed on the carpeted floor at her feet. The bed jostled underneath her as she felt his weight press down next to her, releasing a soft gasp as he cautiously wrapped his strong arms around her broken body. He pulled her close, gently tracing a wide path up and down her arm with his bare fingers. Despite the heaviness of her stomach, it fluttered at the feeling of his massive form pressed against her. She melted into the warmth of his chest, lifting her heavy arms to wind her hands around his wide shoulders. His loving embrace made the room seem warmer somehow, her future within its walls seeming a little less bleak with him by her side.  
“Rey,” her name tumbled from his lips naturally in his own voice, without the gravelly filter of the modulator in his obsidian mask. She lifted her gaze to his and for once wasn’t met by a faceless mask but instead came face to face with honey-brown eyes filled with concern, “let me help you,” he rumbled from his wide, plush lips. She gave him an anxious nod and stayed frozen while he brought his hand to the mottled purple bruise on her cheek, the flickering flame of their connection bursting to life. Rey watched as he closed his eyes and furrowed his brow and a tingling sensation began to bloom across her cheek as the pain melted away. She held herself with baited breath as he concentrated on healing her wounds, trailing his deft fingers down her flesh inch by inch. When the pain had dispersed, he pressed a trail of feather-light kisses where the evidence of her beating once was, his long face melting into a lopsided smile as he met her hazel eyes. _

_Rey chewed on her lip thoughtfully, anxiously reaching her hand up to draw a ribbon of his black hair through her fingers and tracing a line down the pronounced scar that decorated his cheek. She knew this face, she’d seen it, but only in fevered dreams. He caught her hand in his as she trailed her way across the constellation of beauty marks that were scattered across his face, pressing a soft kiss to her palm, pulling a breathless hum from her lips,_

_“Ben.”_

 

 

After the ache of the pain had faded away, her anger began to bloom. The darkness furled out inside her like a thick blanket, filling her with a wild hunger to push the limits of what she could get away with under his nose. It started with small things, sprinklings of white amongst the crimson and ebony of her wardrobe and grew to her wandering further outside the walls of the Palace. She trailed her fingers against the wall as she strode down the halls, exploring every nook and cranny until her feet led her to a doorway leading out into the bright light of Coruscant Prime outside of the walls of her gilded cage. With a thrill, she stepped outside the foundation of the ziggurat and wandered out to explore the the maze of outbuildings surrounding her. She lifter her face to the light, feeling it’s warm rays hug the curves of her face like an elixir after so many blackened hours. The air around her became instantly sweeter amongst the echoes of the contestant hum of the Coruscant speeder traffic high above her head, breathing more deeply as if the warm light released a cold vice on her lungs. 

Her attention was piqued when her ears picked up the faraway sound of someone singing. She curiously followed the sound around the corner and into a wide hangerbay. The sound of a man’s voice reverberated around the high ceiling of the room, smooth and clear and quiet yet powerful. Rey wandered inside, her footfalls adding a gentle beat to accompany the soft crooning of the mystery man. She strode up to the sleek and imposing Upsilon-Class command shuttle, reaching up to drag her fingers across the cool durasteel of the hull, recalling with an ache in her heart of the first time she’d laid eyes on one so long ago back on Jakku. Back when her life was simple. Scavenge to eat and then scavenge some more. She closed her eyes and let the sound of the man’s voice transport her away, imaging herself boarding this very shuttle and jetting off to the stars and escaping from the prison of thick brambles and deadly thorns which she planted for herself by agreeing to come here. She had thought she was getting her freedom from Jakku but now found that she was more trapped than ever before. The thought ignited a fire within her, a flame so magnificent that, in that moment, it blinded the darkness she felt lurking in her heart. Breathing a shaky sigh, she wistfully smiled up at the towering wings of the ship and thought to herself: _Someday._

A loud cough rang out, drawing the Empress from her fantasy as she looked up and met the eyes of the singer. A handsome young man in his thirties stood before her wearing a black flight suit with the sleeves cuffed to his bronzed elbows. His mop of black curly hair was slightly mussed and his dark eyes twinkled with a curious smile as he wiped grease from his hands with a dark cloth,

“Hi.”

Rey couldn’t help but let out a confused laugh at his informality. Ever since she had arrived at the palace, the people who surrounded her spoke to her so formally. No one would ever dare to speak to the Empress of the First Order in any way that would not reflect her newfound station, least of all an individual who was part of the Imperial Navy and Rey found it to be a refreshing change. Her brows knitted together in amused curiosity as she held out a hand in greeting,

“I’m Rey.”

The man in front of her melted into a dazzling smile and a laugh before sweeping her hand up in his own,

“I know,” his dark brown eyes crinkled in delight as he gave her hand a gentle squeeze and tossed her a sly wink, “I’m Poe, Poe Dameron. What brings the Empress of the First Order to our neck of the woods, are you looking for trouble?”

“No,” she sighed deeply, “I was just having a walk and I heard your singing and my feet just carried me here with a mind of their own, I suppose. That song you were singing, it was lovely. What is it?”

Poe beamed as he told her an impassioned story about learning the song from a woman on his home planet of Yavin IV, spinning an expressive tale of the jungles that covered the planet in infinite shades of the most brilliant greens. She smiled as the vivid picture he painted with his words enveloped her mind. She could picture herself there, running wildly through the thick undergrowth beneath trees as tall as cathedrals towering overhead and a strange green light shimmered through the vast canopy of leaves above her head. 

“That sounds lovely,” she wistfully smiled , “I’ve never been anywhere that green before, I’d love to visit it one day.” She turned her attention back towards the ship, ducking her head underneath the hull to the open panel where Poe had been tinkering, “What are you working on?”

The pair of them animatedly talked about the ship’s dual-ion engines and the warp vortex stabilizer, Poe’s strong black brows raising into his hair as the Empress buoyantly spoke about building her once-prized speeder from pieces of junk she had scavenged from the Imperial Graveyard back on Jakku. 

“You know, I was about to tinker around with the hyper wave comm scanner if you wanted to give me a hand.”

Rey sighed and smiled down at her long-sleeved white gown. It tapered in sharp line across her shoulders and hugged her lithe curves before flaring out at her hips and falling to the floor, brushing the toes of her towering crimson shoes. While all her gowns were beautiful, they left a little more to be desired in the practicality department. She reached up and nervously tangled her fingers in her chestnut hair, tracing the line of the golden disc that adorned the back of her head,

“I’m not exactly dressed for the occasion, but thank you. I should really be getting back, I’ve been gone far too long already.” Poe’s eye twinkled as he nodded in understanding,

“Come back any time you want, Empress. The shop is always open for a fellow tinkerer.”

She reached out and shook his warm hand once more, offering him a small smile and a wave before stepping back out into the warm light of Coruscant Prime. Rey followed her feet in and amongst the other outbuilding softly smiling to herself as her gentle footfalls reverberated up into the constant sound of the speeder traffic. The hum was ever-present in her life, never fading in the slightest as the hours of the day passed her by. It had taken some getting used to after growing up in the soundlessness of the open desert. Now it stayed with her like an old friend, keeping her company in her resplendent prison, lulling her to sleep in the darkest hours of the night. She wrapped her arms around herself as the wind picked up, sweeping through the narrow paths between buildings in blustery waves. It snaked through her hair and took hold of it, flicking it about in gossamer chestnut waves about her face. With it, the wind brought the faraway echo of a pair of voices to her ears, catching her attention and giving her feet a mind of their own as she followed the sounds. 

“I don’t care what it costs,” she wondered while she listened if she should get closer or run away while she still could. She placed her hands against the cool durasteel of the building and pressed herself to the wall as she listened further, “I’ve done what they said to do but none of it’s mattered. I need this taken care of, I can’t deal with that filthy rat much longer. Meet me tonight on 1313 and we will discuss the matter further.”

Rey ducked her head back around a corner to conceal herself as she saw her husband stride out from the building where she had heard the voices come from, her heart beating wildly in her chest as his words sunk in. She didn’t know who he was speaking of but she couldn’t help but think it was about her. She felt the soft panic ebb and flow in her belly of what to do next. All the reasons not to follow him came flooding in, as his her body sent them a mass invitation, but her curiosity won out. Waiting until the coast was clear, she dashed back to her chambers to wait until nightfall. 

 

Rey breezed out of the palace into the cool night air, the adrenaline flooding her system, right into her blood at a lightening quick pace as she silently ran to a parked speeder, glancing over her shoulder to make sure she wasn’t followed. She tried to quell the hammering of her heart as she flipped the ignition switch but there was no way that was going to happen now that she was on her way. Squeezing her black-gloved fingers around the steering column, she took a steadying breath and lifted the vehicle into the air, merging seamlessly into the busy traffic above. 

Down, down, down she flew as the level numbers ticked by with the minutes as she traveled into the underbelly of Coruscant. Level 1313 was so deep in the city-planet’s underground that it had nearly been forgotten by those who dwelled in the upper levels. Not knowing much about it, Rey used the time while she waited in her chambers to dig up as much information about it that she could. From what she read, she discovered that it was hive of crime and home to the planet’s most dangerous gangs. Would could Armitage want all the way down there? 

Rey set the speeder down in a secluded corner, away from the crowd, and pulled Kylo’s black cowl down over her head to try and conceal her now well-known face. She strode down the dark dank alleyway, her black boots making quiet smacks as she strode across the damp pavement. Holding the edge of the hood, she peered upwards at the walls of the buildings that were almost too high for her to bother seeking the almost black sky, kicking garbage with each stride. She turned the corner into the swirling crowd of strangers with no idea where she was going but a slight feeling in her mind’s eye of where he’d be. Following her feet, she pushed through the throng of drunken drifters, some smelling deeply of Spice, she found herself in the doorway of a darkly lit bar. She rested her hand on the wall, guiding herself alongside it as she strode through the swirling cloud of smoke and the stagnant stench of drink and sick. Across the room she saw him, his slicked back auburn hair unmistakable to her eyes, sitting at the back of the room with his back towards her, speaking to a mousy man with short cropped hair and a black leather armor. Straining her ears to hear, she caught only a name: Bala-Tik. 

Closer, she had to get closer. 

Rey lifted the toe of her boot to take an uneasy step forward when a strong hand clamped around her hand and yanked her outside of the confines of the noisy establishment. Stumbling over her feet through the churning crowd outside, she blindly followed where Kylo Ren led her, her heart hammering in her chest at the unexpectedly wild thrill of being caught in the planet’s underbelly. She struggled to catch her breath as he pulled her into a dark alleyway and pressed her up against the cool wall with his faceless mask hovering just inches from her face. Her cheeks suddenly bloomed against her freckled skin at their sudden closeness, the quieted hum of their connection flickering to life as she fought back the smile that threatened to break out on her face. Rey stood breathlessly as she gazed up at him, her chest quietly quaking with the quickened rise and fall of her breath,

“So, who talks first? You talk first or I talk first?” 

Kylo balled his gloved fist tightly and let out a frustrated growl, pulling himself away from her to pace in a tight circle, connecting his knuckles to the durasteel wall across from her,

“Gods, Rey, what were you thinking?” 

“I was thinking that I was exploring the less popular destinations of the planet, have a taste of what real life has to offer,” she shrugged nonchalantly.

“Kriffing hell, that is a lie and you know it,” he closed the space between them again, pressing his hands against the wall above her head and hovered his mask just inches away from her nose, “I was so scared, Rey. What if I wasn’t here, what if he had caught you? I couldn’t’ live with myself if…if he…” Rey stubbornly squared her shoulders, her brows knitting together as she gave him a hardened stare,

“I can handle myself, Kylo, and I certainly don’t need you to rescue me,” she sniffed, lifting her chin to meet the gaze of his silver-framed visor. Kylo stiffly pulled away and gathered her hand up in his gloved fingers once more, giving her arm a slight tug,

“Clearly. Come on, I’m taking you home.”

They sat in a tension-filled silence as he careened up the thousands of levels to the Palace District, her arms crossed stubbornly over her chest and his hands tightly gripping the yoke of the steering column. When they arrived back at the palace landing pad, Rey dashed out of the speeder and willfully stormed up the hundreds of steps with Kylo darkly following behind her. 

 

The days dragged by and with them, Rey dipped further into her loneliness. As the time rolled by, her regular visits to the Hospital Plaza that had brought her so much joy were snatched away and she was confined within the Palace walls yet again. She tried to reason with her husband to allow her some amount of freedom, but was met with his answer from the back of his hand. From the outside, it was a perfect marriage, the vision of majesty, and yet Rey hid purple ribs beneath layers of fine fabric. The bruises were hidden from view and yet she felt the pain with each breath. The palace was a cage for her body and in her emptiness her body came to feel like a cage for her soul. 

Spurred by the thrill she received when she was caught by Kylo her first night wandering down to Level 1313, she continued to spend her nights sneaking outside of the palace walls to try and find out more about this Bala-Tik. Amongst the churning throng of strangers, concealed in her black hood and trousers, her heart beat wildly like it needed freed from its cage in her chest, her senses on high alert as she scanned the crowd for the face of the mousy man. Every color was brighter, every noise louder, every stranger meeting her gaze a reason to make her heart beat more fiercely and she lived for every second of the exhilarating spike of adrenaline to her senses, leaving her hungry for more. 

 

Rey paced in slow circles around the highest room of the tallest spire at the epicenter of the ziggurat, absentmindedly trailing soft ribbons of her chestnut hair through her fingers. She had visited the top of the tower a few times before, led by the sounds of the mysteriously soft whispers that pulled her there. Looking out over the horizon, she shivered through the chill in the air as she watched raindrops trail their way down the tranparisteel windows in steady streams. She could feel it in the stillness of the air and couldn’t shake the feeling of the past lives that had been lived in the palace and that these rooms held something incredibly sacred. Lifting her fingers to the clear glass between her and the rain, she ached to be able to feel the droplets splash against her flesh. Growing up on Jakku, she had never experienced rain before, this was her first rainstorm since she had left the dust trap and her fingers twitched with the need to feel it for themselves. She followed her feet along one of the three softly curved walls of the triangularly shaped room, trailing her fingers as she went until her curiosity stopped at a solid, softly metallic panel. Rey lifted her fingers to the cool durasteel and followed her gut, pressed slightly and let out a girlish giggle when a panel bounced open at her touch, revealing a hidden ladder. Kicking off her black heeled shoes, she gathered her gossamer black skirt in her hand and began to climb. 

Heart pumping, head spinning, lungs bursting and her body screaming for more, she pulled herself up rung by rung, recalling with a thrill her life of not so long ago when she would spend her days climbing through the skeletons of massive star-destroyers, not tethered to the ground with fine clothes and fancy dwellings. It may not have been much, but her life as a scavenger was an exhilarating adventure compared to the prison she was trapped in now. As she reached the top of the ladder, she pressed her hand to a small door above her head, easily flipping it open to the open air. Pulling herself through the opening, she let out a heavy sigh as the cool raindrops gently pelted her flesh, 

She cautiously strode to the roofline and aligned her bare toes with the ledge, curling them over the damp metal with a slight smile at the new sensation. Suddenly, with the world spread out below her as far as her eyes could see, she felt more awake than she had ever been before. Her fingers trembled with the electric exhilaration as she took in the city around her. No rope to guide her down and nothing but air between her and the ground. Nothing to prevent her from taking a gravity propelled ride to the ground with the pouring rain. Up here, it was like looking down at the world, the icy grey sky grumbling with the faint echo of thunder standing out amongst the constant hum of the speeder traffic that whizzed past her eyes in a blur. 

The rain poured down over her, the icy cold soaking through her gown and into her skin, filling her emptiness with the with the chill, her mouth curving into the most delicious smile. Rey raised her hands and tilted her face to the sky, watching the speeders intently as they zipped by, her eyes drawn to a slower, midnight blue, craft. With a heavy sigh, she couldn’t help but think of herself, moving at a different pace within her life that was hurtling along without her, leaving her behind in the process. The wind lashed around her and the softness of the rain picked up and instead of the tender kiss it left on her flesh when it collided with her body, it now tore into her skin, sharp staggering pain, and each raindrop felt like his fingers, his fists. She recalled how her body jarred with each blow, how the pain seared through her skin and took away the false sense of safety he had promised her when he tempted her away from the desert. He had claimed to be her hero but ended up being the worst kind of monster. The memories were like tiny shards of glass, biting into her skin. She couldn’t fight or scream, she just had to wait for the pain to pass as the picture of his sneering face echoed through her mind like the rumble of thunder surrounding her. Reaching out in front of her, she grasped at the rain with a silent sob as each stinging drop slipped through her fingers, like the unforgiving sands of Jakku and the facets of her life. 

 

Lightning came, a brilliant shock of pure white through the gloomy sky, forking with a violent crack to the top of the unsuspecting South tower of the ziggurat beside her. The flash was enough to nearly blind her, her body reacting like she had a blaster to her head. Rey opened her eyes wide in shock and suddenly she was falling as her feet slipped out from beneath her. Time became distorted, everything slowed down until there was nothing but her and the black sky above her that made to swallow her whole. She lashed out her hand, brushing her fingers towards the sky, grasping at nothing within the fathomless expanse of inky blue. Slowed by time, everything around her blurred as she hung weightlessly in midair, closing her eyes to surrender herself into the immeasurable sky above her. 

The hand appeared out of the oblivion and tightened on her wrist, white knuckled and strong, pulling her back up towards salvation. The faceless mask of Kylo Ren stared down at her, his bare hand clenched around the damp fabric on her wrist, his panicked breathing rasping through the modulator of the visor,

“Don’t even think about letting go,” he growled, giving her arm a hard squeeze, his panic radiating out of him in thick waves. Hazel eyes wide with fear, she breathlessly murmured,

“I won’t.”

Kylo pulled her with a swift grunt back up to the roof, falling unceremoniously backwards as Rey finally came up over the edge towards safety. He instantly gathered her in his arms, pulling her to his wide chest. The hug was a simple enough gesture, affection and perhaps the unsure beginnings of the hopeless possibility of more. The arms that held her were impossibly strong, yet gentle, the feeling of his body against hers calmed her frazzled nerves more than she had expected. In the blink of an eye, he pulled away and abruptly pulled her to her feet by her aching wrist, trudging across the rain soaked rooftop and depositing her down the ladder into the chamber below. She landed with a thump on her feet, looking more like a soaked Loth-cat than an empress as she paced the room, waiting for Lord Ren to join her from above. 

She flinched as the rooftop door closed with a soft slam and Kylo stepped down the last couple rungs to the stone floor. His cold fury burned with dangerous intensity and he paced in circles around the room, the slowly simmering rage threatening to ignite the room around them. Rey watched him carefully, as he moved back and forth in front of her eyes. Unlike the other man in her life, she wasn’t afraid of what he would do next. He wouldn’t ever hurt her and had taken every possible action to prove it so. The emperor and her were married, yes, but Kylo and her were an unexplainable version of more. 

“What,” he slowly growled, savoring each syllable as they snaked their way through his gritted teeth to increase their impact, “in the kriffing hell were you thinking, Rey?” he stepped over to her in a handful of long strides, cupping her chin in his gloved hand, tracing small circles with the leather against her cheek, “I made a promise that I would protect you and you’re making it incredibly difficult for me to do that, Sweetheart.” This poor girl, she was drowning in her darkness and Kylo wanted nothing more than to draw her out of it like he pulled her from the precipice of the spire, desperate to be blinded by her light once again.

Rey’s eyes narrowed and she jerked away from his touch, taking a couple quick steps back to separate them,

“A promise to who, my husband?” she sneered, her brows coming together in a hard stare, “I swear to you, my husband doesn’t need any help from his guard dog, he does enough on his own,” Kylo let out a frustrated huff, how could she think that he was anything less to her than what he constantly tried to prove to be?

“No, Rey…I…I...” she glared up at him from across the room, watching closely as he swallowed thickly, “You are…important…to me.” Rey lifted her chin defiantly, leaning closer to his silver-framed visor and uttered just three words that she knew would sear directly into his soul,

“I don’t care.” Then, with a barely concealed smirk, she turned on her heel and walked away, leaving him alone in stunned silence. 

 

Spurned on by her unrelenting stubbornness, Rey changed out of her wet clothes quickly and donned the outfit that felt the most like her, the black tunic she wore on the day she first arrived on Coruscant. The leather armbands echoing of the scavenger they tried so hard to stamp out with protocol and propriety and the leather belt accentuating her lithe curves. She carefully draped the soothing soft fabric of Kylo’s cowl around her shoulders and pulled it up over her hair with a deep feeling of regret rotting in her gut. In that moment, her flash of anger and her cruel words protected her from her fear, the fear of the unknown, not knowing what was to come and what they were amidst the tattered chaos of her life. She let out a long sigh and vowed to make it up to him another day, tucking her hair into the hood and making her way out into the quiet hallway and into the night. 

Over time, the adrenaline had become like an aphrodisiac to her, filling the empty void deep inside her with something, anything that she could hold onto even if it was just for a fleeting moment. The search for Bala-Tik and what Hux wanted with him became more than an investigation, it became a need, a thrill to fill the hollowness deep within. She made her way down the dark and dank streets of Level 1313 once more, the flow of the crowd down the musty avenue was the same as a river running along the banks. The expressions of those around her swirled in unseen currents beneath the gloomy surface of their faces. Rey moved her way through, pushing past stranger after stranger as she made her way deeper into the hive, searching for that face and listening for the name. Feeling like she had mentally scanned every face she had come across, suddenly she saw him…and he saw her. Their eyes met across the churning crowd and a flicker of recognition flickered across the mousy man’s features and Rey felt her dread in an instant, building like an unstoppable snowball in the pit of her stomach, the beginnings of a cold sweat prickling across her body, all telling her one thing: run. 

Rey’s feet slipped outwards on the wet pavement as she dashed through the crowd as quick as her feet could carry her, unceremoniously shoving unsuspecting individuals out of her way as she serpentined her way through the throng. Each step sent a shock through her body that had started to go soft after months locked away in the palace, her breath coming in ragged waves and a jarring pain shooting up from her ankle to her knee with each footfall. 

She kept running but knew her time was almost up as she saw a pair of red-masked gang members sweep in towards her from either side and suddenly spied something sharp and long coming towards her. Rey tried to jump out of the way but it was too late, she let out a scream and collapsed to the ground in a heap. The last thing she heard as her vision clouded over was the sound of someone frantically crying out her name amongst the crowd and the whisper of a distant memory echoing in her mind.

_I’ll follow you across the Galaxy, forever._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take a look at this amazing illustration done by my sweet friend LostInQueue!!! Thank you, Thank You, THANK YOU!!! ❤️Cupcake 
> 
> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/144005946@N02/47330545381/in/dateposted-public/)
> 
>  
> 
> If you or someone you know is trapped in an abusive situation, please know that you aren’t alone, it’s not your fault and you deserve to be treated with love an respect. Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline 
> 
>  
> 
> [https://www.thehotline.org/](url)
> 
>  
> 
> There is a 24/7 chat or the phone hotline. If you are afraid of your internet usage being monitored, the website will automatically navigate back to Google when you click the “X” button.
> 
> You are not alone.


	8. Creature in a Mask

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I gave my everything  
> For all the wrong things  
> In this cold reality I made  
> This selfish war machine”

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/144005946@N02/46773312101/in/dateposted-public/)

 

Kylo anxiously tapped his fingers on the screen of his Tie Silencer’s navicomputer, impatiently watching the parsecs tick by as he hurtled through the blurred blue lines of hyperspace. He silently urged the ship to go faster, to get him to where she was as soon as he could. He had already lost valuable time getting back to the palace from the grimy Level 1313 to retrieve his prized ship, the fastest in the Order’s fleet. 

Feeling trapped in the enclosed cockpit, he squeezed his gloved hands into tights fists until his knuckles cracked under the pressure, kicking himself for not keeping a closer eye on her. This was his fault. He was the one who stayed in the shadows, keeping his unmasked face hidden from view as he watched her wander through the dark throng of people. Helplessly screaming her name as the red armored Guavian Death Gang circled her, knocked her unconscious and carried her limp body into the belly of a small shuttle. 

He had hurtled himself into his speeder as quickly as he could, careening hastily through the ever-constant flow of traffic to get him to the landing pad at the palace as soon as possible, desperate to not let an ounce of precious time slip away from him. Every moment that passed, she was further away and he, unable to help her. As he zipped through the line of speeders, he racked his brain to figure out just _how_ to find her. The galaxy was a vast place, full of thousands of systems…she could be anywhere. Their connection only worked over so far of a distance, and it wasn’t nearly as reliable as a navigation system. If only he could track her somehow.

He flipped through the databanks of the First Order until he found it. Of course it was there, Hux was exactly the kind of sleemo that would put a tracker in the ring of his beloved Empress. Kylo should have expected that the weasel would want to keep track of his property any time that it would suit him to know where she was. 

Kylo followed her coordinates now, growing more desperate with each passing hour as he rapidly approached the Unknown Regions. Breathing a heavy sigh, he tried to close his eyes for a moment to center himself. He would need full control of his emotions once he arrived on Ahch-to. 

 

His eyes flashed open with a start when the navicomputer began to loudly ping a shrill alarm. Kriffing hell, he must have fallen asleep. He hadn’t been resting well in the last few weeks since the wedding, ever on alert for the scavenger girl. She continued to test his limits over and over, making it beyond difficult for him to be able to honor the silent vow to protect her that he’d made on the day he took her from Jakku. Kylo rans his gloved fingers over his long face feverishly before depositing his helmet over his dark hair with a hiss. 

Reaching up to flip a handful of switches, he grasped the joystick firmly as the Silencer jolted out of hyperspace above the water-covered planet. Breaking through the atmosphere with a thunderous roar, he followed the ping that was Rey on the map to a jagged island in the middle of the vast, open sea. He barreled over the water, the bristling low squall of the twin ion engines reverberating across the surface in sharp waves, rapidly circling the island to detect Rey’s location. 

He breathed a heavy sigh of relief as he spied their shuttle perched on a wide stretch of grass on the rocky island, tiny dots of red scattered amongst the green. His fury reignited by the sight of them, he resisted the temptation to fire the powerful laser cannons on them to rid the galaxy of the filth that was the Guavian Death Gang once and for all. Centering himself once again, he cleared his thoughts and turned his focus back to the only reason he had flown halfway across the galaxy. Her. Rey. 

Making a tight spiral above the rocky face of the island, he aggressively brought the star fighter down to the surface, flipping the top hatch and thrusting himself out of the cockpit as fast as his oversized body would allow. Kylo slid down the sharp, angled wing and his boots landed on the stony ground with a thump, striding around the hull of the ship to face the cluster of aggressors. His hand twitched against the firm hilt of his lightsaber as he came face to face with the gang. Four Guavian security soldiers stood scattered in front of him, their crimson cybernetic amor buzzing with a mechanical hum as they took defensive stances with their blasters trained straight on him. Bala-Tik stood at the center with a wide-eyed Rey who struggled against the man’s firm grip across her shoulders with a blaster aimed at her head,

“Kylo Ren. You’re a dead man,” the smaller man spat, tightening his hold on the scavenger girl as she continued to pull against him, her eyes filled with venom and her teeth bared ferociously. Quickly unhooking his saber from his belt, he flipped the shrieking crimson blade to life with a stomp, his fury rolling over him in sharp waves. He lifted the blade and stared down the jagged beam at his adversaries, giving the hilt a slight turn as he snidely answered back,

“We’ll see.”

In the frozen seconds between the standoff and the fighting, Kylo saw Bala-Tik’s eyes flicker from him to the circular broadcasting dishes of the security soldier’s masks. In an instant, the blaster bolts began to fly in a flurry of green and red, Kylo effortlessly deflecting each one away from him with a swift flick of his wrist. 

Reaching out with the Force, he yanked the blaster from the hands of one of the cybernetic soldiers and simultaneously flung him across the rocky surface like a rag doll, landing in a heap of limbs with a sickening crunch. A pair of the soldiers menacingly charged him at him with reckless abandon. Kylo let his rage guide him as he dodged a red-gloved fist of the first and pushed his broad shoulder into the other, driving his blade through the armor and ripping it upwards and out the soldier’s head with a sparking sizzle, sending pieces of him flying in different directions. In a single fluid motion, he threw out a hand and ripped the remaining security soldier to his waiting grip with the Force, driving the piercing plasma blade of the lightsaber through his chest with a guttural roar, throwing the limp fighter to the ground like a stone.

Kylo took a solid step over the lifeless body laying at his boots, lifting the razor sharp gaze of his visor to the Guavian leader who still held a blaster to the Empress’s temple. He squeezed his fist around the galvanized hilt of his saber, carefully watching the eyes of his adversary as he prowled towards him like a ravenous dog. Rey’s eyes flashed dangerously as she pulled against her captor, baring her teeth as she brought her elbow swiftly to Bala-Tik’s torso, catching the man by surprise with a ragged gasp. He recoiled from the unexpected blow but swiftly caged her arms to her side, glaring down at her with a poisonous sneer.

The distraction she provided was all that Kylo needed. Reaching out with his dark power, he viciously dragged him to his outstretched hand, throttling the man beneath the deft grip of his strong fingers. Kylo had caught Bala-Tik off guard and at the same moment he drew him to his grasp, the sound of a blaster bolt crackled through the air as loud as thunder. Shifting his focus from the ever-mottled face of his victim, he let out a breathless gasp as he fixed his eyes on the scavenger girl. Rey laid in a heap on the ground, clutching her side as her fingers became soaked with the blood radiating out from the wound under her hand. 

Forcefully throwing Bala-Tik to the ground, Kylo hurtled himself to her side in an instant, his heart thundering loudly as he reached out to cup the wound with his gloved hand as the grating, loud hum of a shuttle echoed in his ears with the thumping in his chest,

“Kylo, he’s getting away,” Rey breathlessly groaned as the bronze glow of her freckled face began to pale. Ren pulled himself to his feet in a flurry, his fear feeding his rage with a burning hot sensation that coursed relentlessly through his veins. He lifted his palms towards the shuttle that was rushing away from the island and took a steadying breath as he summoned the power of the Force within him. He watched, eyes open and posture square to the flames inside his soul as he made the ship slow down as it struggled to break free of his dark grasp. The durasteel of the hull began to crinkle under his invisible grip as Kylo pulled the airborne craft further down until, with a brutal roar, he threw it down into the water with a shattering crack. 

Kylo watched the undulating waves of the sea, lost in the rhythmic percussion of the waves as he aligned his breathing with each one, letting the fire inside die down to glowing embers before tearing his attention back to Rey. He was at her side in a flash, reaching for her hand to help her as she pulled herself to stand but she recoiled from his grasp. Lifting her eyes to his visor, she furiously chewed on her lip with a crease between her brows as she held her injured side,

“My husband sent his guard dog after me again, did he?” Rey seethed threw gritted teeth, “You know, I got along just fine before you came along and since that day, I have had nothing but trouble and you are there. You’re always there Kylo. This creature in a mask who is never far behind from where I am.” 

Hurt coursed through him as her harsh words sunk in, pressing his lips into a mashed line as he breathed a heavy sigh, taking a solid step towards her,

“You think I want this? The torture of the helplessness I feel as you constantly put yourself in harms way? All I’ve ever done, all I ever want to do is to protect you. To keep you safe. That weasel has nothing to do with this…this _thing_ between us. It’s always been for you.” Kylo’s heart hammered relentlessly in his chest as his thoughts swirled dangerously towards what he wanted to do next. All the reasons not to do it flooded through his mind in a feverish flurry, feeling the soft panic growing in his gut as he made his decision. He had tried for so long, hid behind his mask for years to hide his true emotions, tried to hide his true self from her. It had been so much easier to hide behind the mask and leave a physical barrier between them. Exposing himself to her was dangerous for the both of them but the moment he had pushed away for weeks was finally here and he couldn’t halt the urge any longer, no matter the consequences. Once it was done, it could never be undone, but it was time. 

Rey’s eyes widened as Kylo gingerly reached his shaking gloved hands to the latch on his mask, pressing the release as it gave a sharp hiss. He gripped the smooth metal and slowly pulled it from his head, giving his obsidian hair a slight shake before dropping it to the ground with a heavy thump. Lifting his eyes to meet hers, his breath caught his his throat, his lips curling up into the slight semblance of a smile. He didn’t anticipate the joy he’d feel by looking into her stardust speckled eyes with his own for the first time. Kylo moved closer to her as their connection faintly buzzed between them, reaching to shuck the dark gloves from his hands and discard them on the ground with his mask. 

Rey stood rooted to the spot, her brows furrowing in mild confusion, letting out a shuddering breath as she gaped at him,

“I know…I know your face,” she breathlessly gasped as he inched ever closer, “I’ve seen it in my dreams. Kylo…how?” He inclined his chin, lifting his burning gaze to her bewildered face as he closed the space between them with purposeful steps,

“Don’t be afraid, I feel it too.”

Kylo lifted his long fingers to a blossoming bruise along her cheek, drawing it away hastily as she flinched away from his touch,

“Let me help you…please,” he murmured, her eyes widening as she hesitantly gave the tiniest of nods. Slowly bringing his hand to meet hers, they both let out a trembling gasp as the electric connection between them flared to life in a burning blaze like never before. Caught in the heady trance they had been pulled into, Kylo blinked heavily as he centered himself in the balanced harmony they created, letting the Force flow through him to his fingertips as he restored the bruised skin of her tender flesh. Rey’s eyes fluttered as her breath hitched, diverting her eyes from his face, pretending as though the jagged landscape of the island truly held her attention but Kylo could read her like a book, boldly watching the quick rise and fall of her chest and the soft pink flush of her cheeks. With the gentle pull of his finger, he reorientated her face to hold his gaze that she was so desperately trying to avoid, stealing the burning fire in her eyes in a way that only intensified the smoldering spark between them. There was no smile on his face, just the scorching intensity of his eyes that they both knew was the just the beginning of the inferno to come. 

Rey lifted her eyes to the sky, blinking up at the rapidly darkening sky as the gentle pitter patter of rain began to surround them, breaking them from their shared trance. She let out a heavy sigh as the delicate drops caressed her face, breaking into a wistful smile as the rain turned into a downpour. In that moment, with their connection and the sweet smell of wet soil, the rain gave life to the island and to Rey herself, washing away her darkness and letting her light shine through. Kylo twined his fingers through hers and gave her a gentle tug, pulling her towards a set of stony steps away from the limp bodies that littered the ground around them,

“Come with me, there’s shelter this way,” he rumbled as he led her down the stairs to a collection of small, stacked huts on a steep bluff, ferrying her through the curved archway. Inside the cozy hut were a few scattered large crocks and the evidence of a fire that had burned in the center long ago. Searching the cold, dark hut, Kylo gathered bits of firewood leftover from a lifetime ago, building a small nest within the quaint fire pit. Within moments, the hut was alight with the flickering dance of the flames, glowing embers leaping and twirling up and into the sky from a small chimney hole in the ceiling. Kylo tore off his long, black cloak and furled it out over the ground and gingerly tugged her closer to him, nervously mashing his mouth into a thin line, “I…your…uh, your tunic. I need to see your wound so I can mend it. Would you…can I?” he awkwardly motioned towards the blood-soaked fabric of her black tunic before anxiously scrubbing his long fingers through his raven hair. 

Rey offered a slight nod of understanding, turning her back towards him and gingerly reaching up to pull her chestnut waves from her neck. With a trembling hand, Kylo brought his fingers to the fastenings along her back, unhooking them one by one with a flick of his thumb. He ever so softly brought his large hands to her shoulders, slowly pushing the ebony fabric down over her leather armbands and letting the garment to the floor in a puddle at her feet. Letting out a strangled growl, his eyes were immediately drawn to a collection of colorful bruises and welts were scattered across the finely toned lines of her back, ranging from faded yellow to a mottled purple peeking out from under her breast band. Kylo tried to quell his growing rage that was simmering in his blood at the sight of the insurmountable evidence of her mistreatment at the hands of her husband, diverting his eyes to the fresh wound on her side from the blaster bolt. The gash was small and ragged around the edges, barely bleeding any longer. He called upon the Force once again, tracing his deft fingers around it as he knitted her flesh back together again. 

“What is it? What are you doing?” Rey murmured quizzically as she felt her pain melt away to a faint echo before it disappeared altogether. Kylo repositioned his hands to one of the many bruises that covered her back,

“Healing you.”

“How? I don’t understand…”

“I’m calling upon the Force. It’s an energy field that connects all living things within the universe with a tension and balance between light and dark. There are some that believe that it is the spirit of the galaxy. Every living thing creates it’s own energy field within the Force and some are born with the ability to manipulate it,” Kylo spoke plainly from his training, trying to explain it to her in the simplest of terms while he watched the bruises under his fingers fade like the last petals of summer as the true golden hue of her skin returned.

“Can you…can you manipulate it?” Rey said breathlessly, anxiously chewing her lip as Kylo continued his ministrations, each brush of his fingers leaving a trails of electrifying goosebumps in their wake,

“Yes. For thousands of years, Force-sensitives like me were trained to hone their skills. The Jedi were responsible for teaching those like me, making them into protectors of the Light.”

“I’ve heard stories of the Jedi before, are you one of them?” Rey whispered into the firelight filled darkness of the stone hut,

“No, I’m no Jedi.”

Rey slowly turned around in Kylo’s grasp, bringing her stardust speckled hazel eyes to meet his golden brown gaze. He traced his fingers across the fresh tear in the tender flesh of her lip, mending it effortlessly as he inspected the soft rosebud tinted curve of her mouth, trying to quiet the overwhelming intoxication building inside him of the feeling of them under his skin. Taking a tentative step closer to her, he could hear her breathing become shallower as he drew the pad of his thumb across her bottom lip. His eyes flickered from her mouth to her eyes and back again. Maker, he couldn’t fight against this astronomical pull any longer. Slowly leaning down, Kylo’s lips softly brushed against hers and their connection erupted into a fiery flood of passion. 

Rey whimpered softly against his mouth as the world around them fell away into a blur, reaching up to tangle her fingers in his inky waves. His kiss was soft and slow, comforting in ways that words could never describe, lighting a burning flame within her that craved more and more. Kylo snaked his arm around her waist, pulling her body flush with his until there was no space left between them and he could feel the hammering of her heart against his chest. He tentatively traced the seam of her lips with his tongue and she wholeheartedly granted him access as his thumb caressed soft circles against the smooth, freckled flesh of her cheek. Spurred on by her grant of access, he delved inside her mouth with a fever, a clash of tongues and teeth in between the intermingling of their billowing breaths. Her kiss was his found salvation and his torment as he couldn’t help but think of what chance they had to do this again once they returned to the palace under the watchful eye of the Emperor and the entire galaxy, hungry to linger in their shared euphoria as long as he could in this moment. He had dedicated his life to her from the first moment he had laid his own eyes on her and he knew that from this second on, if he lost her, he would surely lose himself. She was the half that made him whole, and he would do anything to stay in this thrilling spell of perfection with her forever. 

Rey pressed her hand to the hard planes of his chest, hesitantly pulling away to look up at him through her full lashes, the swirls of emotion she saw in his eyes making her gasp. Lust, desire and something else, something warmer and deeper than she could even begin to describe but could only hope that he could see the same reflected back in her own heated gaze. Before she could ponder about it any further, Kylo yanked her to him and covered her mouth with a hungry kiss. It was electrifying, the way his lips connected with hers, his mouth so warm and the caress of his lips softer than she could have possibly begun to have imagined. She opened her mouth with a loan moan as the breathtaking connection between them sang. Their kiss obliterated every dark thought, every black memory, leaving their minds locked together in the flickering firelight of the hut with no wish for the kiss to ever end. Kylo moved his hands across the velvety expanse of her exposed flesh, tightening his hold as he leisurely lowered them onto his cloak on the ground. In seconds, his soft caresses became more firm as he savored the taste of her lips on his and the accelerated breath that blended with his own. 

It felt like the moment had barely begun when Rey sharply pulled away, her eyes wide with fear and unshed tears,

“Kylo, we can’t. We shouldn’t. If he finds out, he’d kill us both.”

“I’d like to see that smarmy ginger try,” he growled, hungrily bending down to place another kiss upon her lips, only to be pushed away by Rey’s hand on his broad chest.

“I want nothing more than to fly off with you to Gods know where and kiss you for the rest of forever, but you know we can’t. He’d find us and we’d always be in danger of the First Order coming down on our heads. We’d be permanently looking over our shoulders. What kind of life would that be?” Rey sniffed as her tears began to fall, making hot tracks down her golden freckled flesh, “I made a vow, and while he may not honor his, I will honor mine the best that I can. There are people I can help, who I want to help, and I can’t do that if I leave.”

Kylo pushed himself off to sit beside her with a grimace, chewing on his lips that were freshly bruised from the heat of their kiss. His heart felt as if his blood became thick as tar as it struggled to keep an unwavering beat. He ran his hands up his long face, scrubbing his fingers in his dark hair in frustration,

“I’ll find a way. We have to.”

Rey sat up and snagged her tunic from the floor, meeting his eyes with a mournful smile as she pulled the dark fabric over her head,

“I don’t want to go back, but I have to. I don’t have a choice,” her chin trembled as she gave a downcast look to the floor, “But not yet. Can we just stay here for the night? I feel so much safer when I am with you.”

Kylo mashed his lips together and reached out to tuck a stray strand of her chestnut hair behind her ear, his thumb lingering on her cheek as he traced soft circles across her supple flesh, perpetually lost in the stardust speckles of her tear-filled hazel eyes. Breathing a heavy sigh, he knew she was right and his soul was eternally bound to hers, ever willing to do her bidding. Wherever she would go, he would follow and together, they would ride through the oncoming storm, waiting to see when the new dawn would come and what it would bring, 

“As you wish.”

Rey stifled a wide yawn as she laid down and stretched her lithe body out across his dark cloak, rolling to her side, smiling softly as the flickering of the fire warmed her from the outside in. Kylo lined his body up with hers and circled his arm around her waist, tucking a soft kiss against the skin on the back of her neck, trailing his nose in the sweet fragrance of her hair. Their eyes grew heavy in the dimming light of the twin suns and the comfort they felt in each other’s arms. The stone hut was filled with the echos of their breathing in tandem as the wind swooped up off of the bluff and over the rocky heights of the island, gradually ebbing away through the crags into silence. The dark feeling of tomorrow pierced Kylo’s heart like a lance and he was gripped by the bone deep desire to hold onto this moment and never let go, the memory of their kiss flickering through his mind. Their kiss was a beginning, a promise of so much more to come. He didn’t know how, but he felt so certain of the feeling’s validity and he would do anything to make it come true. Enveloped by the soft warmth of his scavenger girl laying in his arms, Kylo’s eyes flickered closed as the waves of sleep washed over him. 

 

 

_Your time is coming soon. Come to me and you will finally feel like you belong._

_Those dark words echoed through his mind as he trudged his long, gangly limbs through the undergrowth of the Yavin IV jungle, letting out an amused chuckle as he heard the footfalls of small feet trailing behind him, thundering through the brush as fast as her little legs would carry her,_

_“Ben! Hey Ben! Wait for me!!” Glancing over his shoulder to toss a toothy grin at the freckled-faced little girl, he guffawed happily as he watched her signature three buns bounce with her every step,_

_“You’d better hurry up, Stardust!”_

_He broke into a slow jog, his long legs carrying him swiftly to the banks of a river that cut it’s way through the land, setting himself down into the soft grass on the bank with a huff. Silently counting down the seconds, he didn’t have to wait long for a pair of small arms to circle around his neck, knocking the wind out him with the force of the impact her tiny body made as she threw herself at him. Circling his arms around her small frame, he tickled her mercilessly until she squealed before pulling her to sit between his knobby knees. They sat quietly together, watching the churning water of the river, flowing like time, always onwards towards its destiny. Someday soon, like all of them hoped to do, the river would flow to join the sea, a small but vital part of a much bigger picture. He stifled a sigh as he thought of how this jungle was so far from the home he knew, the home he left behind, but in this moment, it didn’t matter at all. He contentedly nuzzled her top bun that was tickling the tip of his long nose, thinking with a smile that right now, he felt more at home that he ever had before._

_“What’s the matter?” he murmured into her chestnut hair, his brows bending into a slight grimace,_

_“Nothing.”_

_“We both know that’s not true. You’re thinking so loudly that I can feel it from here, Stardust.” The little girl wiggled in his embrace, pulling her small knees to her chest and resting her chin on her crossed arms with a tiny frown flickering across her freckle flecked face,_

_“I had the dream again. The one where we are both grownups but I don’t know you and you’re so dark and I am so, so sad. Ben, I’m scared, what if it comes true?” He reached around and wrapped his already large hand for his age around her small fingers, pulling her hand to his mouth to press a sweet kiss to her palm. He traced his thumb across the tiny constellation of freckles on the inside of her wrist, giving her a reassuring squeeze,_

_“Remember what Master Luke always tells us. The future is always in motion and is difficult for us to see what’s really going to happen. Plus, I promised I’d always find you, no matter how far, and I meant it. Or you’ll find me, look here,” he held her wrist out for her to see as she reached up to connect the space between each mark with her finger, “Look, you have a map of the stars right here, proof that you’ll always have a way to find me, Stardust.”_

_He gave her tiny frame another comforting squeeze and pressed a quick kiss into her hair as she giggled and squirmed, fanning her hands out in front of her eyes as she exclaimed excitedly,_

_“Just you wait, before you know it, we will both be Jedi Knights traipsing around the galaxy. Ben and Stardust, Guardians of the Light!”_

_He smiled wistfully, looking out over the rolling waves of the river as his thoughts flickered back to the voice that came to him in the dark of the night. He knew in his bones that her idea of their future as champions of the Light would never come true. He’d known for as long as he could remember and his heart sank as he wondered just how much time he’d have left in his happy home here with her._

_Your time is coming soon._

_His mind dwelled on the weight of the crystal shard in his pocket. He desperately wanted to do something with the piece of his kyber crystal, a piece of him, to give to her. To leave her with a part of him that could be with her when his time finally came. His heart ached at the thought of being apart from her, the darkness swirling dangerously inside. Pressing the feeling deep down, he gave her a gentle nudge and picked up a flat, round stone from the soil,_

_“Let’s get some practice in while we’re here, Stardust. I bet you can’t skip a rock across the water without using your hands.”_

 

Kylo woke with a start, his mind a racing blur as he blinked in the early morning light that seeped in though the cracks of the stone hut. In the soft beams that filtered through the darkness, his face split into a blissful smile as he took stock of how his body had become intertwined with Rey’s while they had slept. He wished that he would turn back the hours to give them more time just so he could stay close to her for a little longer, prolonging the content feeling of her body aligned perfectly with his. Her arms were tucked between them with a small fist tucked underneath her chin and her delicate fingers splayed across his chest. The heat of her touch and his arms wrapped around her brought him a euphoric peace he hadn’t felt in so long, not since another life long passed. Flashes from his dream darted through his mind and his heart ached at the memory of that boy who struggled so much against the darkness, holding on to the light for dear life as Snoke’s voice constantly hummed venomous words to him during the night. Memories of a time that had brought him so much joy, but all of it had been brutally torn away from him. His entire life and everyone he had ever loved had been destroyed for the sake of cultivating the churning darkness within him. The dreams had been coming more and more often as of late and Kylo was perpetually haunted by the past and a future that might have been. 

Kylo smiled down at his scavenger girl and traced his finger across her brow, tucking a stray hair behind the soft flesh of her ear. He let out the softest chuckle as the corners of her mouth curved up with the faint flicker of a smile as she dreamed and he couldn’t help with a small smile to hope it was about him. He gathered her closer to her chest and basked in the warm glow of her light as it calmed the storms in his heart. The feeling of her so close to him gave him hope for a future that was so far out of reach, an impossible dream for them to achieve. She was the light to his darkness, a balance. A glimmer of stardust in an otherwise empty night sky. 

Kylo leaned his forehead against hers, breathing the sweet smell of her in deeply with a deep regret, knowing that they would have to leave this small pocket of paradise soon. Reaching down to lift her hand from his chest, Rey let out a content hum as he slowly pulled the mammoth crimson gem from her slender finger to tuck into his wide palm. There were a few things he needed to do before they returned to Coruscant and the first task to take care of was this ring and the tracker that was hidden inside. He reluctantly pulled his arms from around her lean body, tucking his ebony cloak around her and pressing the ghost of a kiss on her forehead before stepping out into the morning light. 

 

He trudged up the stone steps to the green hill above the bluff where the stone hut was nestled into the mountain and surveyed the evidence of the brutal skirmish from the day before. He held out his palm and inspected the massive Corusca gem that gleamed in the light of the binary sun’s rays. He let out a long sigh as he tried to quell the rise of his burning rage, rolling the trinket around in his hand. This thing should represent a marriage and a promise but all Kylo saw was Hux’s possessiveness of her and how the ring was truly a leash to keep her tethered to, a poisonous version of what it should really mean. The darkness churned deeply within him as he summoned the Force to his palm, squeezing his fingers around the ring, his knuckles cracking with the pressure until he heard the satisfying sound of disintegrating metal and stone beneath his grasp. He splayed out his fingers and smiled smugly at the sight of the dust scattered across his flesh with only the blood-red gem and the shattered remains of the tracker left behind. 

 

Kylo worked quickly as he pulled the limp bodies of the Guavian security soldiers into a pile and vigorously set to building a fire around them to dispose of their remains. There was no need for to Rey to see the mess that he had left behind from her trauma the day before. He stood vigilantly, watching the bodies burn as the flames flickered in the wind, sending a swirling plume of ash and smoke up into the clear, blue sky. 

He lifted his gaze from the churning flames as the breeze caressed his face, sending his obsidian hair fluttering across his sharp features, carrying with it the soft sound of whispers on the wind. Answering their call, Kylo navigated his way up the stone steps. In the serene silence of the island, he could hear the whispers sweeping around the jagged rocks spiking out of the ground as the gusts of wind spun around him in sharp waves. 

 

He followed the whispers up the endless flight of stairs until he turned a corner and found himself at the mouth of a vast cave. He wandered inside and the only sound that met his straining ears were his own echoing footsteps reverberating around the towering ceiling inside. The morning light seeped into the massive room from an oblong opening on the opposite side. High above the surrounding sea, he could see that whatever this place was had been worn away by wind and time but he could feel that it had held an incredible purpose. He curiously peered around the cave as his toes kicked the odd loose stones under his boots. The noise of the disturbed rocks echoed off the dense stone walls and drew his gaze to the center of the room when one of the pebbles flicked its way into a wide reflecting pool at the center of the space. Kylo let out a soft gasp as he took in the intricate mosaic that was seated in the shallow reflecting pool. He had seen it before in another life and he had no doubt now that the Jedi had built this place, this ancient temple. The Prime Jedi sat before him, shaped carefully from bits of white and black stone. He sat in a calm, meditative stance, a saber splitting the image to form the epitome of light and dark. Of balance. 

Kylo shivered as the Force surrounded him in warms waves, enveloping him in the fountain of energy that found it’s home on the island. Deep inside his chest, through every cell of his being, the warmth of the light welcomed him like an old friend. The feeling was foreign and strange after the years he had been lost to the shadows. Everything he had ever loved was ripped from him, tearing a gaping hole for the darkness to fill. Suddenly enveloped in the light of the ancient temple, the darkness reared it’s ugly head and pushed back fiercely, leaving him breathlessly reeling.

“Hello, Ben.”

Kylo spun around frantically towards the sudden sound of the voice echoing through the chamber and let out a strangled gasp at the softly glowing figure before him. His uncle stood at the mouth of the cave, solemnly peering at him from his sharp blue eyes, surrounded in a faint blue glow that he had only ever read about but never witnessed,

“Luke.”

“I failed you Ben, I’m sorry. I let Snoke sink his claws into you, if I had known…”

“I’m sure you are Uncle, but it’s too late. Ben Solo is dead. He was weak and foolish, so I destroyed him,” Kylo sneered, his darkness furling out as his anger at the future that was ripped from him so long ago simmered through his veins,

“No, Ben Solo is a alive. It’s time for you to come home, come back to the light, it isn’t too late,” his uncle stated earnestly, taking a tentative step towards his wayward nephew. Kylo choked out a sob as the darkness threatened to pull him deeper,

“He’s gone. There’s no going back. The things I’ve done…” he mashed his mouth together into a thin line as the memories of his former life tore their way through to the surface, smothering a painful sob, “I’m being torn apart. I want to be free of this pain,”

“Oh, Ben. No one’s ever really gone. I know you’ve felt it, the pull to the light,” Luke wistfully smiled at him as he continued, “She’s the key, Ben. I know you’ve been struggling, we’ve all been watching. But ever since she came into your life, you’ve opened yourself to the Light. You just need to embrace it. The darkness has caged you in, left you isolated and alone, falling victim to it’s tempting poison over and over again, but you’re strong enough to bend the bars, Ben. Follow her, follow the light and you will find your own again, I swear it.”

A single tear trailed its way down the jagged scar on his cheek as he watched Luke fade away into the morning light, leaving him feeling painfully breathless and more alone than ever before. The anguish and rage he had carried for so long had drowned his old memories in the darkness. It had lived at the back of his mind like a pulse, tearing itself forward and demanding attention when his dark power needed to be fueled. 

 

Luke was right. It was time to press against the iron bars of his darkness, unlock the cage and let the light in. The darkness had taken its stranglehold for long enough, squeezing the happy memories of his past life and consuming them, turning them into agonizing and forgotten lost dreams. He closed his eyes and centered himself in the light, the image of her face resonating in his mind. She was the key. Her light was intoxicating and all consuming, and he hadn’t realized it until now, but she had reignited his own deep down inside his soul. The dreams, the memories that haunted him were the sign that Ben Solo wasn’t gone. He was still inside him, tearing his way through the black tar of his soul, begging to be freed from the dark shadows within him.

She was so whole and pure, she made his missing pieces reappear. Her blinding light made what was once scarred become soft once more, the festering wounds in his soul beginning to finally heal. She was a gift from the universe, his twin soul born from the same flame as he. Together, they were able to bathe one another in the Light as easy as breathing, oblivious to the darkness within him. 

Kylo took a stuttering breath as he felt his own light within burst into a flickering fledgling flame, softening the cold claws of the darkness on his heart. In that moment he saw her face and knew.

Ben Solo was alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for sticking with me!! I know the last chapter was a rough one, I hope that this one made up for it a bit!!
> 
> Things are going to start getting really exciting and I can’t wait to share it with you!!!
> 
> THANK YOU to everyone who has left comments and kudos! They truly mean the world to me and I squeal like a little girl with every single one!!!
> 
> Xoxo  
> -KB


	9. Physical Compatibility

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m holding onto the spark, I’m not afraid of the dark, I’m not afraid of the dark with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for snark, tension-filled rides in a Tie Silencer, sexy sparring, dancing, and more! Whooo!
> 
> This chapter was so fun to write, it got a little out of hand on the word count, but I swear to you it is worth every second!

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/144005946@N02/39808020223/in/dateposted-public/)

 

 

“You have got to be kidding me,” Rey stood with her arms crossed stubbornly over her chest, brows furrowed as she planted her feet firmly on the ground next to where the Silencer was set, “Absolutely not.”

“It won’t be as bad as you think…”

“As bad as I think?? Kylo, it is a _single passenger_ star fighter. Where in Maker’s name am I supposed to sit?” Rey scoffed, completely unyielding to the idea of traveling the many parsecs back to Corusant crammed into the cockpit with the single person she needed to avoid physical contact with in the entire galaxy. Kylo grinned facetiously down at her from the hatch in the ship,

“You’ll have the best seat in the house, Empress.”

Rey frowned up at him, narrowing her eyes in annoyance before throwing her hands up in the air, 

“That’s it. I’m not going. I’ll stay here and become one with the wildlife,” she spat, turning on the heel of her black boots and storming off down the hill.

“Hey Princess, come back. I’m sorry, okay? I can be a real nerfherder sometimes!” Kylo called after her to no avail as she kept striding purposefully away from him across the rocky stretch of the island. He growled in frustration as he watch his scavenger turn a corner and head down the stairs and out of his sight, pulling himself out of the cockpit to slide down the wing to jog after her, “So help me, Rey, if you do not come back here, I will throw you over my shoulder and put you in that cockpit myself!!” Kylo glowered darkly as he caught up with her. Rey spun on her heel and glared darkly at him,

“You wouldn’t dare,” she hissed.

“Watch me,” Kylo bent down and scooped her up effortlessly in his strong arms, throwing her over his shoulder in one swift motion. She shrieked loudly and beat on his back with her fists, letting loose a slew of Huttese obscenities that echoed along the sharp breeze coming up the bluff, “My, my, your Majesty, that kind of language isn’t very becoming of an Empress, now is it?” Kylo grinned himself as he tightened his grip across the backs of her thighs, pleased by the sound of the scavenger girl from Jakku emerging from the elegant trappings that the Imperial Palace has swathed her in. This was the girl who first enchanted him so long ago, long before she had captured the hearts of the galaxy as The People’s Empress. 

Kylo trudged up the hill towards the Silencer with Rey slumped over his broad shoulder, her chin resting in her hand like she had become bored with trying to fight her way out of his grip. Striding up to the dark, angular wing of the fighter, Kylo slid her body down his own to set her down firmly on her feet, bending his gaze down to her level, narrowing his eyes as he looked into hers, 

“Stay. I have to get up first and then I’ll pull you up,” Rey pressed her lips together in a firm line and gave a stubborn nod. Kylo had barely turned away from her when she darted away once more. The dark knight caught up with her in a flash, wrapping his arms around her waist in a firm grip, “What in the kriffing hell are you trying to do, Highness? Do you really not want to be around me that badly?”

Rey looked down at her feet and toed a divot into the rocky soil with her boot,

“It’s not that…it’s just…I can’t trust myself around you. This…this thing between us is too strong,” she murmured under her breath. Kylo hummed thoughtfully and reached to cup his bare hand under her chin, lifting her hazel eyes to meet his,

“I swear I will be a gentleman, I won’t let us cross that line again until you ask me to,” he traced small circles against her freckled flesh, offering her a small, comforting smile in reassurance. She returned his smile with the small upturn of the corner of her mouth and gave a small nod, 

“Okay, I won’t run again. I swear.”

“Good, I don’t know how many more times I can climb up those stairs with you on my back, your Highnessness,” Kylo guffawed loudly as Rey reached out to punch him in the chest with a laugh of her own. What a strange feeling, the lightness she brought to him, the heavy cloak of his darkness parted here in this moment alone with her. He took a steadying breath to center himself in the delicious feeling before placing his hand against the durasteel hull of the ship, “You ready?

“No, but let’s go.”

Kylo climbed up the wing in sure-footed steps, kneeling down on the edge of the hatch before turning to hold out a hand for the Empress but smiled to himself when he saw that the ever-resourceful scavenger girl was hot on his heels. She looked at him curiously as she pulled herself up next to him, cocking her head to the side with her brows creased together in puzzlement, 

“What is it?”

“Nothing. I’m going to climb in first and then you, I’ll help get you positioned properly. It’s going to be a long ride, might as well get comfortable.” Rey let out a heavy sigh with a whoosh as the air pressed out of her cheeks and past her lips,

 

_Great. Close quarters with Kylo Ren for the next few hours, what could go wrong?_

 

The Empress waited a moment for Kylo to get settled in the pilot’s seat before seating her palms along either side of the hatch and lowering herself down into the cockpit. She stifled a soft gasp when Kylo grasped her hips with his long fingers, guiding her down into his waiting lap. Kylo choked out a strangled cough as she settled her hips against his thighs, trying to carefully reposition herself without forcing any unnecessary contact between them. Growling in frustration, the dark knight caged her waist in his long fingers, firmly planting her upside his thighs. She pulled at his fingers but he held her firmly, pulling her flush with his chest and nestling his chin over the top of her shoulder,

“Let go of me!”

“Don’t get excited, Princess.”

“Lord Ren, being held by you isn’t quite enough to get me excited.”

“That’s not the impression I was getting last night,” he deliciously purred in her ear, his hot breath sending an electric shiver down her spine, “Would you relax? Unbeknownst to you, I actually need to be able to see out the kriffing transparisteel in order to pilot this ship properly. Just lean back and relax, we’ve got a long ride ahead of us.”

 

A heavy silence settled over them, thicker than the unspoken tension in the air between them as Kylo reached above her head and flipped a series of switches, bringing the dual-ion engines to life with a roar. He framed his arms around her and took hold of the joysticks, lifting the craft off the ground and into the blue Ahch-to sky in a single seamless motion, leaving only the charred remains of the Guavian Death Gang and his ebony mask behind.

Perched with her feet dangling between his calves, Rey tried to divert her thoughts away from the feeling of the steady rise and fall of his broad chest against her back towards the darkening horizon as they broke through the atmosphere. She watched as he deftly punched in the coordinates for Coruscant into the navicomputer and trained her ears into the steady hum of the electronic systems buzzing around them in the cockpit. The scavenger girl wished that she could see his face to try and discern what was going through his mind, to see if it was anything like what was going through her own. Observing him discreetly, she counted the scars and freckles that flecked the rough and worn skin of his hands and how he tensely squeezed his fingers into a fist with a crack of his knuckles. She let out a soft sigh. This was going to be a long journey if they both didn’t relax. 

She settled into him with a small wiggle, leaning her head back against his chest, gazing out the rectangular grid of the transparisteel viewport with a thrill as the stars around them stretched into thin lines as they throttled into hyperspace, desperately trying to ignore the smell of him that wafted over her. Why did he have to smell this way, all spices, smoke, and earth? It clouded her senses, instantly transporting her back to the night before in the hut. Her eyes fluttered shut, her breathing shifted as she felt the ghost of his touch on her bare skin as he knitted her flesh back together, aching to feel his soft lips graze against hers. She was resolute in her decision last night for them to halt their actions before they went to far, but his lingering scent and the memories of her body pressed against his pulled her in with a fervor, leaving her breathless and panting as her mind wandered further than where the night before left them. Chewing on her lip, she tried to contain a soft hum as she imagined his long fingers exploring under her breast band to cover the soft mounds of pliable flesh underneath, his hands running up her thighs, the heat of his skin leaving an electrifying trail of warmth behind them. The soft heat of his mouth as his languorously explored the expanse of her throat with his tongue, nipping the skin softly in his wake.

“Stop.”

Rey jolted out of her delicious vision, her cheeks flushing a soft pink as Kylo’s breath skirted across the heated skin of her neck,

“You’re thinking so loudly, I can feel it from here,” he growled hungrily in her ear, “If you want me to keep being a gentleman, you need to get yourself under control first. You aren’t making it easy, Princess. Clear your mind. Rest. Sleep. We have a long way to go.”

Rey choked out a strangled laugh, chewing on her lip anxiously as she settled into his arms, trying desperately to clear her mind as he had instructed. Reaching out to touch his sleeve, she found comfort in tracing the seams of the ridged armbands that hugged the firm muscle of his forearm. The motion and the feeling of the soft fabric under the pad of her finger relaxed her mind, drawing her away from the delicious trap her imagination kept trying to set for her, falling slowly into an easy sleep. 

 

___________________________

 

_She thundered through the dense, green overgrowth of the jungle in a flurry, the balmy air filling her lungs as she traipsed past each broad leaf, shoving vines out of her way, making her way to a towering Massassi tree and clambering her way up the branches as if she was made of air. She tucked her body against the warm bark, stifling a giggle as the dark-haired boy tumbled between the dense vegetation, calling out for her as he searched around him,_

_“Stardust!”_

_Her face split into a wide grin as a titter of light-hearted laughter escaped her without thinking. She slapped her hands over her mouth to smother the sound of her facetious glee as the boy spun around to find where the sound came from._

_“Stardust! Where are you? I can hear you, little mouth-breather.”_

_She muffled her giggles, pressing her little body further against the tree, grinning from ear to ear as he continued to call for her,_

_“Stardust!”_

_“Stardust!”_

 

Rey hummed softly to herself and nuzzled into the soft fabric against her cheek, smiling as she felt a soft kiss being pressed into her hair and the comforting feeling of strong arms circled around her,

“Have a good dream?”

Slowly and reluctantly, she drew her face from its resting place, blinking slowly as she took in the blue-white glow of hyperspace beyond the transparisteel window. 

“Hmm?”

“You were laughing,” Kylo rumbled into her hair, the sound of a smile in his voice, “I hate to wake you, but we are almost there.”

As if on cue, the ship gave a sharp jolt as they thundered out of hyperspace above the glittering surface of Coruscant. Dread suddenly crept over her with an icy chill. They were here, there was no avoiding it. Rey’s stomach was full of lead and all she could think of was running. Running away, back to their island bubble when it was just the two of them. Rey reached her hand out and grasped his fingers as they reached for the joystick to guide them down the the planet’s surface,

“Wait.”

Turning her body to face him, she reached up her hand and gently pulled a ribbon of his inky hair through her fingers. His eyes flickered with a burning hunger as she traced her fingers over the seam of his mouth,

“Rey…I…not unless you ask me to…”

Her eyes raked hungrily across his face, flickering back and forth between his smoldering gaze, the mere inches between their faces too far apart,

“Kiss me. Please. One last time,” she murmured breathlessly, bringing her lips feverishly close to his. 

One brush of her skin against his and it was over, their connection flaring to life with an intoxicating electric hum. Kylo devoured her mouth with a wild hunger, the kiss full of raw intensity, knowing that it could be, should be their last. Their frenzied breaths mingled together, hearts beating faster as their tongues intertwined in a heated clash of flesh and teeth. Rey knew that she shouldn’t crave his mouth on hers in this way, but she didn’t care and neither did he. Tomorrow, this memory would be what would get her through her duties as Empress and their secret would be the reason behind her smile. Their lips fit perfectly together-as if they were puzzle pieces made by the Maker. Moving against each other, filling each other with a desperate passion, neither of them willing to be the first to let go. Kylo wrapped his large hand around the back of her neck, growling in pleasure as she nipped at his lower lip with her teeth and a let out a breathless whimper. Kylo was the first to break their kiss as Rey hungrily tried to dive in for more, a fire flickering in her stardust-speckled hazel eyes,

“We have to go, they’ll know that we are here,” he rumbled mournfully, cupping her cheek in his hand. Rey closed her eyes and leaned into his touch, a single tear escaping her lashes and coursing a shining path down to her chin.

“So, what now, Kylo? Are you going to stick around, be there when I need rescuing? Make everything alright?”

“No.”

Rey pulled away from him, her brows furrowed in confusion,

“What…are…are you leaving?”

“I’m not going anywhere, Highness. You don’t strike me as a girl who wants rescuing, so I’m going to teach you, make you as strong as you’re meant to be,” he hummed, pulling her towards him and drawing a line against her cheek with his nose, “Are you ready?”

“No,” she breathed, her dread coldly washing over her once more, “but let’s go.”

Rey settled back against his chest as Kylo took hold of the controls, breaking them into the bustling atmosphere with a thundering crack. Forlornly watching the towering skyscrapers as they flew by, her stomach churned nervously as they came closer to the Palace District. Kylo slowly brought the craft around the mammoth ziggurat of the Imperial Palace, setting the Silencer down gently at the foot of the grand staircase. He offered her a sad smile, reaching up to trace soft circles across her freckled cheek,

“You’re not alone.”

Rey gave a dismal nod and pulled herself up towards the hatch above them, pushing it up towards the bright Coruscant sky. Pulling herself out of the ship, she was met with a flurry of flashes as a cloud of holocams surrounded her, taking picture after picture of the recovered Empress. Rey shielded her eyes from the multitude of glaring lights, looking down at Kylo’s scowl as he emerged from the Silencer behind her. Sliding down the wing first, he held out his hand to her to help her down to the ground. She pressed her hands onto his shoulders, grateful for his steady grip on her waist as she shakily found her footing, their eyes lingering on each other for a fleeting moment before he released her. With a heavy sigh, she lifted her head towards the palace and took a sure-footed step towards the waiting party on the steps. To her surprise, the Emperor rushed to her side, caging his thin arms around her in a bruising grip, showering her stunned face in featherlight kisses,

“Oh my stars, Flower, I was so worried! Thank the Maker you’re alright!”

Rey stood stiffly as her husband embraced her, her stomach souring at the unwelcome feeling of his body pressed against hers. She knew in her heart that this was all an act, a carefully calculated show of a caring husband put on only for the cameras that surrounded them. Loving husband in public, monster in private.

_Find that happy thought. Hold onto it. Never let it go._

As her mind wandered back to their kiss goodbye, Rey’s face melted into a wistful smile, reaching up to wipe the tears that began to make heavy tracks down her cheeks,

“I’m alright,” she murmured against Hux’s sleeve. He grasped his spindly fingers around her arms, holding her at arm’s length to look her over with a smug smile, 

“Thank goodness for Lord Ren’s quick thinking,” the Emperor lifted his eyes to the dark knight that stood like a sentinel behind the Empress, “How can I ever repay you for recovering my lost treasure?”

“Just doing my duty, sir,” Kylo gave a curt nod, his face unreadable.

Hux let out a quick sigh, circling Rey’s hand around his arm to lead her up the grand staircase towards the palace. Her home. Her gilded cage. Her heart hammered in her chest as she was seized by the overwhelming feeling to run. To leave and go back to that transient moment when she was alone and free with him. She stifled a soft sob as they ascended the staircase, turning her gaze to meet his for a fleeting look. His eyes burned into hers and they, like his kiss, would be branded into her soul for the rest of eternity. She longed to stand by him instead of where she was headed but this was her path, her destiny. There was no way out of this glimmering prison she was trapped in, but she was happy for the momentary escape that their short-lived spell on Ahch-to had brought them and for that, she would be forever grateful. 

 

The Emperor and his bride walked in silence through the great hall, the picture of royal elegance as they strode their way to the turbolift to take Rey to her chambers. Hux brushed his fingers over hers on his arm as she silently tried to quell her trepidation. Ever since the first time he had laid hands on her, she had tried to avoid being alone with the man as much as she could, but her duties as his wife kept bringing him back to her over and over. Her heart thudded dully in her chest as the lift’s door slid open with a hiss and her husband pulled her from inside and down the hall to her rooms. 

 

She stood at the center of her bedroom, nervously picking at the smooth fabric of her black armband as she watched him slowly undo the clasps on his black First Order uniform. He tugged at the sleeve from the wrist, pulling the fabric from his person, revealing a thin, grey undershirt underneath. Folding the fabric gingerly with his thin fingers, he gently laid the garment over the back of the chair at her vanity and coolly regarded her as she stood waiting for whatever would come next. Hux strode towards her and twined his fingers with hers, pulling her hand to his mouth to press the ghost of a kiss across her knuckles before reaching a hand up to softly graze his cool flesh against her cheek,

“You look well, better than I expected. What a relief,” he murmured coolly as he inspected her face with his icy sapphire eyes. Rey balked at his touch, smashing her eyes closed with a nervous grimace, waiting for the first blow, expecting the worst after being snatched from Level 1313, a place she had no business to be, “Ah, don’t be afraid my darling, I’m not going to hurt you today. I’ll admit, I was less than pleased to find out where you had been when they took you but that is an issue we will deal with another time. There is a…situation, if you will, that needs my attention on Chandrila, so I will be leaving tonight on the Supremacy for some time,” 

He pressed a hand to her hip and gently turned her to face away from him, drawing his touch up to cage the curve of her shoulders in his firm grasp. Leaning down to pepper kisses along the smooth expanse of flesh at her throat, Rey stood as still as a statue as she felt the heat from his fingers seep into her consciousness, desperate to pull away but knew in the back of her mind that it would only be worse for her if she did. The invasion of unwanted intimacy continued as he undid each clasp down her tunic with a flick of his thumb, pushing the black fabric over her shoulders and down into a soft pool at her feet. Grazing his stubble across the soft skin where her neck met her shoulder, a cold shiver ran down her spine as the feeling lingered as he pressed cool trail of kisses down her back,

“Before I go,” he murmured between kisses, “we must meet our obligation to provide our people with an heir. We must continue to try until we succeed, Flower.” Armitage’s hand traveled the distance from her shoulder to her buttocks, trailing his fingers at the waistband of her trousers. Her breath came in shivers as her thoughts glazed over, the dread sinking deep in her stomach. Gritting her teeth until her jaw ached, she wished she could turn back time and drag the suns from the sky so she could return to a time before…this. Her eyes fluttered shut as she tried to pull her mind away from her body, to protect her soul as her blood chilled in her veins, bringing a cold stillness to her thoughts until his face echoed through her mind.

_Find that happy thought. Hold onto it. Never let go._

_You’re not alone._

 

__________________________

 

“My Lady Rey, it is time to awaken.”

A mechanical voice echoed through her dreams, pulling her back towards the present. Rey tucked her chin into her blankets, curling into the soft warmth of the fabric, desperate to get back to where her subconscious had taken her in her dreams. She could almost hear the wind whistling through the stones and feel the warmth of the flickering fire against her skin and the firmness of his arms wrapped around her. 

“Your Majesty, I have your breakfast and caf as you have requested,” the droid continued to pester her. Rey groaned loudly and tried in vain to rub the sleep from her bleary eyes that strained in the bright, morning light that was streaming in the wide windows, pulling herself to sit up against the fluffy pillows in her bed,

“Okay, fine, I’m up, I’m up. Thank you, Beedee.”

“It is my pleasure to serve you, Empress,” the droid gave a small bow and shuffled out of her chambers, leaving the breakfast cart behind. Rey reached for her silken robe, sliding her arms through the achingly soft sleeves before rising from the bed to tie it at her waist. 

Striding over to the breakfast cart, she lifted the steaming cup of caf with both hands, hugging the warmth with her fingers and deeply inhaling the delicious scent. Breathing a heavy sigh, her face broke into a soft smile as she remembered that her husband had left her chambers the night before to immediately board his star destroyer for Maker knows how long. Relief at the thought of being free from him washed over her, melting away the icy, empty feeling that the night before had seeped into her soul. 

Settling herself into a cozy chair, Rey tucked her feet under her and inspected what kind of delicacies the palace chefs had made for her this morning. Her marriage had brought so much strife to her life but the hungry little girl inside her would be forever delighted by the plethora of foods at her fingertips. Armitage had lied about many things, but her never going hungry again wasn’t one of them. 

Rey picked at the selection of fruits, catching them in her mouth and breaking the delicate skin with her teeth, the sweet tartness exploding over her tongue as she let out a soft hum of pleasure. She continued to devour her plate, tearing into the piping hot meats and crisp breads, relishing in every taste that filled her mouth. When her appetite was sated, she leaned back in her chair, hugging the mug of caf to her chest happily, soaking up the warm rays of light of Coruscant Prime that streamed in through the windows. After a few relaxing moments, Rey pulled herself from her comfortable perch in her chair, reaching out to set her empty cup on the tray beside her when her gaze was caught by a small, folded piece of parchment tucked under one of the plates with her name written on it in an elegant scroll. Grasped by her curiosity, she gently pulled the note out from under the ceramic dish and gingerly unfolded the paper.

 

_It’s time for your first lesson. Meet me upstairs in an hour. Wear something you can move in._

_-KR_

 

Chewing anxiously on her lip, Rey’s pulse suddenly sped up in anticipation at the thought of seeing him again, throwing herself down the stairs to her wardrobe at a breakneck pace. Wear something you can move in, he said. She dug around through the drawers, searching for something that would fit the description. Most of her gowns weren’t built for anything but looking elegant, she definitely wouldn’t be able to climb or move like she would have been able to in the worn rags she wore during her time on Jakku. Humming to herself excitedly, she rifled through the neat stacks of fabric until she found exactly what she was looking for.

She stripped her silken robe and dropped her nightgown onto the floor in a heap, pulling the snug, black leggings up and over her hips with a smile as the soft fabric hugged her every curve. Rey pulled a black breast band over her head, admiring in the mirror the way it framed the soft mounds on her chest, pleased at the way it enhanced her coltish figure. Turning to the side to see her back reflected back at her in the mirror, she smiled at the attention to detail in every garment, delicate strands of black criss-crossing across the lean muscle of her shoulders. 

She drew a lightweight jacket over her head to settle across her hips and pulled a pair of flexible boots onto her feet. Standing in front of her reflection, her brows creased in puzzlement. She was pleased with how she looked, she felt like the balance between scavenger and empress looked back at her from the mirror, but there was something missing. Her face split into a wide grin when it hit her and she quickly went to work, twining her fingers in her hair, pulling the strands back in sections until her three distinct buns dotted the back of her head. 

 

_There she is._

 

Bouncing on the balls of her feet, Rey bounded out of her chambers and into the hall, striding down the hall in featherlight steps to the turbolift. She was practically buzzing with nervous anticipation as she waited for the lift to carry her to the upper levels of the ziggurat. When the doors slid open with a hiss, Rey breathed a calming sigh, smoothed her hair and stepped out of the lift. 

She heard him before she saw him as she rounded a corner down the hall. Peering inside the partially open door, Rey’s mouth went dry at the sight before her. Kylo stood in the center of the training room, the floors covered in a soft padding and the walls lined with wooden staffs and swords of various shapes and sizes. The dark knight was stripped of the black tunic that she was used to seeing him in that kept him covered from neck to wrist, trading it in for a sleeveless, fitted black shirt that strained against the hard planes of his chest, the curve of his biceps bending and moving as he practiced his forms with elegant swings of a training saber, letting out sharp grunts with each exaggerated movement. 

His thick, lustrous dark hair was slightly damp from sweat and deliciously tousled as he majestically shifted his weight back and forth between his feet, not letting his large frame weigh him down as he moved from form to form. His mesmerizing golden brown eyes were ever focused on the task at hand, zeroed in as he spun the hilt of the saber in his palm. Dark brows, sloping downwards in a serious expression and his plush lips were drawn into a hard line across his face as he steadily continued his mesmerizing reverie, leaving Rey breathless and enchanted as she watched him hungrily from the door. His strong hands gripped the metal hilt, crossing the blade across his body with a flick of his wrist. 

Rey couldn’t help but imagine those fingers tangled in her hair and roving down the curve of her back, tracing an electrifying trail in their wake. Without a doubt, Kylo was skilled in his craft and it showed as he continued to elegantly parry and dodge an invisible foe, pivoting on the tips of his toes as he brought the saber’s blade down in a brutal, final strike. He stood still and Rey licked her lips while she watched the rapid rise and fall of his chest as fine beads of sweat trailed down his mammoth bicep,

“Are you going to come in, Highness, or are you just going to watch me from the doorway?”

Kylo peered at her from over his shoulder, the serious look that was etched into his features melting away into a crooked half-smile, 

“Shoes off. Stand here when you’re ready and put yourself in a fighting stance,” he rumbled, padding across the floor to reach for a towel to wipe the sweat from his sharp features. Rey did as he instructed, swiftly pulling the boots from her feet and placing them side by side along the edge of the wall. Treading over the springy cushion of the mat, she strode to the center of the training room and stood with her feet apart like she had always done when she’d come face to face with a less than friendly scavenger on Jakku. 

Kylo slowly circled around her like a hungry animal, his eyes roving over her body, taking in every inch of her lithe body and analyzing her stance. Rey anxiously waited in feverish anticipation as he continued to circle her, wondering what his next move would be. 

Her breath caught in her throat as Kylo sidled up behind her, so close that she could feel the heat from his body radiating off of him, sending an electrifying shiver down her spine. Pulling her against his chest, Kylo reached around and splayed his fingers out over her torso, his lips softly grazing the curve of her ear as he growled,

“Hold it here, this is the core of your strength. You get strong here, everywhere else will follow.”

Rey’s cheeks flushed as the vibrations of his deep voice tickled the sensitive flesh of her ear and the ghost of his fingers pressed against her burned deep into her core. There it was…that electrifying static of their connection, crackling through the air the way it did whenever they helplessly answered its call. It flared to life as Kylo ran his deft fingers down her thigh, giving it a slight squeeze as he repositioned her foot, sending a quiet whimper from Rey. He caged her ribs in his warm hands, moving his head to her other ear,

“Take a breath, Empress. We won’t get very far if you’re dead. Just breathe.”

_Breathe. Just breathe._

Rey drew her breath in slowly. In. Out. Focus. But within a split second, there it was again, burning brighter than ever before. His body was pressed against her and she was ready to surrender herself to him completely, willing to be the best student, pliable to whatever he would be able to teach her. She had wanted this for so long now, craved him, dreamed of his tongue tasting her breath and painting her flesh. Kylo pulled away, leaving her breathless and reeling, circling around her once more to stop ahead of her. He bowed his head slightly, bending his gaze to meet hers and held out his hands,

“Show me what you’ve got, Scavenger.”

Rey regarded him like a crazy person, letting out a confused chuckle,

“Ha, I thought I was here for you to teach me?”

“I am but I need to see what I have to work with. I saw a little bit of what you were capable on Jakku but things got a little…out of hand, pretty quickly. Now it’s just us. No other scavengers. No quarterstaff. Just me and you.”

The empress took a deep breath and bounced on the balls of her feet, summoning the fierce confidence she used to possess so long ago. Her eyes hardened, taking a wild swing as she charged him but Kylo easily dodged her with a single side step. Caging his hand around her forearms, he swept her feet out from under her in a single fluid motion, dropping to the ground in a flash. He pulled her with him, flipping her over his head onto the mat while simultaneously rolling with her, landing with his hands on either side of her, both of them panting heatedly. Kylo’s face hovered just a breath away from her own, a curtain of his dark hair brushing softly across her cheek, framing his face in a dark halo and highlighting the heated, dark look in his eye,

“Is that all you’ve got?” Kylo pushed himself to stand and held out his hand to pull her back to her feet, “That may have worked on Jakku against the other scavengers, but it’s not enough. Try again.”

He squared his shoulders, his eyes sparkling as she came at him again with a roar, shooting her leg out to plant a kick to his chest but Kylo was quicker than her again, circling his fingers around her ankle and hugging the inner curve of her thigh with his palm, using his body weight to flip her over onto the floor once again. 

Rey’s lungs ached as she tried to catch her breath after it was knocked out of her, her eyes fluttering as the ghost his his hand on her thigh burned into her flesh and pooled deep in her belly. She pulled herself to her feet, small beads of sweat beginning to form on her brow. The room was getting stuffy, fast, and she knew it had nothing to do with their physical activity. Twining her fingers into the hem of her sweater, she pulled it up and over her head, discarding it to the floor with a flick of her wrist. Rey stretched her neck from side to side, casually peeking through her lashes with the tiniest smile at the dumbfounded look on the dark knight’s face. She let out a small giggle, rubbing the back of her neck with a soft sigh before drawing her hands down the length of her bare torso to her hips as she slowly closed the space between them. Trailing her flickering gaze to meet the burning look in Kylo’s eye, she took advantage of his vulnerability, hooking her arm around the back of his neck and in a single fluid motion, used her weight against him to take him by surprise and flip him down to the mat, leaving her breathless between his knees,

“Pinned you,” she grinned facetiously as her fingers ached to explore the hard planes of his chest. Kylo let out a strangled chuckle reaching up to cup her cheek with his warm hand with a lopsided smile. Rey learned into his touch, her eyes fluttering shut as the connection between them sang before Kylo hooked his toes around her calves, flipping her back to the mat in a single, elegant motion,

“I could do this all day, Princess,” he growled, curling his arm around her ribs to pull her to her feet, “Now I’ve got a pretty good idea of how your fighting style is, now we just need to hone your skills. Your time in the Palace has made you soft, so we will just start with the basics and then expand with those as we move along. We will meet twice a week, clear?”

“Perfectly.”

Kylo was a surprisingly patient teacher, adjusting her form here and there as she needed, providing a gentle guidance as Rey learned her footing. His compassion towards her was evident as he carefully watched her every motion, firmly correcting her and illustrating the moves to her as slowly as she needed until she had a handful of basic forms mastered. Rey’s heart sang as the time ticked by while they remained in the training room together, finding a simple joy in each other’s company. In a life where both of them had truly known what it meant to be alone, suddenly they had each other, making their hearts burn brighter and igniting something deep within their souls. 

Hours had passed by and the pair of them were beginning to feel breathlessly fatigued, Rey didn’t know how much longer she would be able to withstand the feeling of Kylo’s body pressed against her own. 

 

_Damn your honor and damn your pride. You know you want this. You want him._

_Yes, but think of the trouble it will bring you both._

 

Rey breathed a deep sigh as Kylo stepped up close behind her, pressing the sculpted planes of his broad chest against her shoulders, slowly circling his arm around her shoulders, gently pressing his tree-like muscle around her throat,

“I swear, if you bite me, Maker help you.”

“Admit it, you’d probably enjoy it,” she giggled as she circled her fingers around his forearm.

“That’s not the point, are you ready?”

“Let’s do it.”

Kylo exerted a firm pressure across her throat, gripping her opposite shoulder firmly with this fingers. Rey quickly reached up behind his neck and fluidly pulled him up and over her shoulder, throwing him on the ground with a heavy thump. Kylo burst into wild peals of laughter, the sight and sound were completely foreign to her after being constantly surround by his dark demeanor. He reached up for her wrist and pulled her onto his chest in a heap and Rey was helpless as she joined him in his joyous chorus. Their combined glee was the sound of their souls intertwined together, something that came when they joy of being together overflowed from their smiles in to the air. Rey’s laughter died down as she focused her gaze on his honeyed-brown eyes that were burning intensely into hers. Settling her chin against her hands that were gently resting on his broad chest, she smiled softly as she felt her body rise and fall with his steady breathing. She knew that his laughter was a precious gift just for her and a sign of their growing bond. Kylo snaked his arms around her waist, slowly rolling her beneath him. His eyes flickered darkly into hers, tangling his fingers in her hair as he slowly brought his face closer to hers and brushed the tip of his nose against hers.

Rey wanted nothing more to kiss him again, over and over again until the stars rose over Galactic City but she knew in her gut that it wasn’t their time yet. Her heart ached as the temptation washed over her with his body pressed deliciously against hers, knowing that acting on their shared desires would only bring trouble for them both. Breathlessly fluttering her lashes, Rey’s brows pressed into a crease as she reached up to touch her fingers to his achingly soft lips. Kylo blinked rapidly, pulling himself away from her in a flash and rising to pace tense circle around the room flexing his fingers into a tight fist with a dull crack, the joy of their fleeting moment evaporating in a flash as his shame consumed him. Rey stood swiftly, striding to Kylo’s side in an instant, gently reaching out her fingers to touch his bare forearm as he paced like a wounded animal,

“Kylo, stop.”

He melted into her touch, slowing his pace to a standstill and closing his eyes to breathe the heaviest sigh, slowly lifting his eyes to look into hers,

“I’m sorry, Rey. I feel so ashamed. Apparently I can’t be trusted around you either,” he shrugged as he grimly pressed his lips into a thin line. Rey brought herself a step closer to him, running her hands up his chest to cup his cheek in her hand and Kylo leaned into her touch with a soft sigh.

“I had fun today and I’m really looking forward to next time,” she smiled, slowly pulling her fingers from her cheek and striding to pick up her sweater from the floor. Cocking her head to the side to smile at him once more, Rey pulled the garment over her trio of buns, settling it at her hips before making her way to the door. She paused in the doorframe to turn her gaze back to him, offering a small smile and a wave before turning the corner and striding down the hall. 

 

_________________________

 

After a much needed hot shower in the ‘fresher, Rey wrapped herself in the fluffiest towel and threw herself on to the best with an exasperated huff. It had taken every ounce of self control not to give into the piping hot water that coursed down her bare skin, setting her flesh afire, stoking the embers that her sparring match with Kylo had lit. The thoughts lingered in her mind of his heavy body pressed flush against hers, his delicious smell wafting over her as their breaths mingled heavily together, every part of their bodies whispering for them to press harder, go further, to cross that line. They were both helpless when it came to the tantalizing pull between them and it seemed like the more they gave in, the stronger the force was that pulled them towards each other like a magnet. They would have to be careful or they would quickly find themselves in an impossible predicament with no where to turn but towards each other. 

_Would it really be so bad?_

Rey sighed and ran a rope of her chestnut hair through her fingers anxiously, biting her lip as she tried to quell the hunger deep inside her. Yes, it would be so bad. They were trapped in the prison that the First Order built and no matter how strong Kylo was with the Force, as he called it, he was only one man against an army and Rey refused to spend her life running. 

_Find that happy thought. Hold onto it. Never let it go._

They’d always have Ahch-to. 

 

Rey reluctantly pulled herself from the delectable softness of her bed and ambled her way through the bright white ‘fresher, winding her way down the stairs to her wardrobe. She smiled when she saw the Kai and Rose were already waiting for her to help get her ready for that evening’s gala. 

 

The Emperor had decided that they needed to celebrate the return of his lost treasure with an extravagant party with the highest of Corusanti society in attendance. Rey was reluctant to go and mingle with a gaggle of snobs, knowing the whole time that she’d rather be back up in the training room, sparring with her favorite dark knight. She smiled softly to herself as she stepped out of her towel and into the glittering ball gown she had carefully selected for that evening’s festivities. Rose helped pull the yards of fabric up over her waist to her shoulders, carefully fastening the plunging back closed around her ribs. Smiling at herself in the mirror, the Empress ran her hands down the bright, glittering sapphire bodice, tracing her fingers along the sheer black fabric that hugged the curve of her shoulders in an elegant, asymmetrical line. The sweetheart neckline softly followed the curve of her breasts and the bright blue melted into black at her waist, flaring out into a full skirt that was as light as air with a towering slit up her thigh. She twisted her hips back and forth, admiring the sparkle that cast a glittering sparkle across the walls around them. This was her favorite gown that she had ever worn, making her feel like she was wearing the stars themselves. 

Kai expertly wove her hair into a thick braid down the center of her head that echoed her signature trio of buns she had worn every day on Jakku and placed a silvered halo of crystal shards on the crown of her head. Rey’s heart swelled as she looked at the final product in the mirror, her eyes swathed in soft silver with a soft pink on her lips. For the first time since she had arrived at the Palace, she felt like she looked like both herself as the scavenger and her role as Empress. A beautiful balance of the two. 

 

The Empress wound her way back up the stairs and out the door of her chambers to make her way towards the turbolift. Her brows furrowed in confusion at the bizarre absence of Kylo who would normally meet her at her door to walk her down to the Great Hall. A sharp pang of dread sunk to the pit of her stomach, thinking of the shame he felt for toeing the line she had set. What if he left in an effort to stay away from her? Her heart ached as the idea of being here at the palace alone crossed her mind. She was only just starting to feel like herself again, she couldn’t bear it if he wasn’t here. She fiddled with the small crystal shard that hung in it’s home around her neck, tracing the cool edges of the stone with her finger, relishing the comfort that her prized trinket brought her. Shaking away the feeling, her sense of duty took hold as she lifted her chin proudly, the veil of the Empress settling over her entire being. The lift slowed with a soft hum, the doors slid open a hiss and Rey stepped out into the hall and made her way elegantly towards the lilting music that called to her from the Great Hall.

Rey wound her way through the throng of stately guests as she mingled with senators and dignitaries, regaling them with the tale of how she was snatched by the brutal Guavian Death Gang. The attendees hung on her every word as she told them how Lord Ren swooped in to rescue her just in time, stoking the flames of the stories of his fierceness that were told across the far reaches of the galaxy. Her embarrassment of being in the wrong place at the wrong time lingered in the back of her mind, knowing full well that it was her fault that she was put in the situation in the first place. She quickly began to grow bored as she told the story over and over, skipping the parts of how Kylo tenderly healed her wounds and how they spent the night by the fire in each other’s arms. 

The crowd around her began to swirl around her as the dancing began and Rey was once again seized by the same lonely feeling she had felt on the day of her wedding. Her breath became shorter as she looked around the crowd, desperately searching for a single friendly face. She felt her panic building like an unstoppable snowball in the pit of her stomach, her head beginning to spin as the couples spun elegant circles around her. The empress was pulled suddenly from her mind when a throat cleared loudly behind her. 

She turned on her heel and came face to face with her dark knight as a warm feeling of relief spread from her chest to the tips of her toes. Surprising her, yet again, her gaze raked over him in awe of the dark prince who stood before her. Still dressed from head to toe in black, his clothing was more regal than she’d ever seen him wear before. A velvet jacket hugged the sharp corners of his broad shoulders, framing his dark shirt that had a deep v cut into it, revealing the curve of his collar bones that she suddenly felt the need to trace her fingers across. He gave a deep bow that she returned with an exquisite curtsy, her face splitting into a glorious smile. He was here and suddenly everything in the world felt right,

“My dear Empress, may I have the honor of this dance?”

Rey tilted her head to the side to regard him with a small smile and a twinkle in her eye,

“Are you sure we should? Remember what happened when we danced earlier?” Rey giggled softly and tossed him the quickest wink, “Yes, I’d love to.”

Kylo snaked his arm around her waist, pressing his warm fingers against her bare back, sending a delectable shiver down to her toes. Rey reached up to place her hand on his arm, smiling to herself as her fingers traced the black pleats that lined his sleeves, echoing his daily worn tunic. It would seem that both of them were more elegant versions of themselves tonight. The dark prince pulled her to his chest with a soft growl and began to move them effortlessly across the floor. The slow music twirled around them like a thread, weaving in and out in a lilting melody as they regally circled the floor. She let him twirl her in circles, laughing together as her gown billowed out behind her in twinkling, gossamer waves, sending beams of glittering light bouncing across the walls of the great hall. 

Rey lost herself to the music, entranced in the warm feeling of his hand against her back, lost in his eyes as gravity melted away. Here, in this moment, her life felt like perfection and she could stay here, nestled firmly in his arms for the rest of forever if she could. She blinked up at him as he beamed down at her. Breathing a happy sigh, she glanced around the room and stifled a gasp as she saw the hundreds of eyes trained on them,

“They’re all looking at you,” she murmured softly, looking back up to his aristocratic features, the picture of royalty. She could stay lost in his eyes and amongst the constellation of beauty marks that scattered his face. Kylo smiled down at her and leaned in to rumble in her ear, his hot breath warming her flesh in the most heavenly way,

“Believe me, they’re looking at you. Rey, you look so beautiful tonight, I could hardly breathe when I laid eyes on you,” he pulled his mouth away from her to bring his gaze back to her face but couldn’t help but let his eyes rove over the resplendent woman that he held in his arms. He would count every freckle if he had the time and smiled as he saw that her attendants had painted them gold for the evening’s festivities. Kylo dragged his gaze across her golden freckled skin along her shoulders, wishing that he could bury his face there to plant a trail of hot kisses across every sun kissed mark that graced her fair skin. His eye drew further down to the center of her throat and let out a strangled gasp as he saw a trinket that felt eerily familiar to him,

“Where did you get that charm?”

“I don’t know where it came from. I’ve had it for as long as I can remember, it’s the only piece of my past that I have left,” Rey’s face melted into a wistful smile with a soft sigh as Kylo was seized with a flash of panic, memories of a little girl echoing through his mind in sharp flashes. He stopped their dance abruptly, scrubbing his large hands through his hair, painfully murmuring his apologizes as he tore himself away and into the shadows.

Rey stood shellshocked and alone in the center of the crowd that continued to spin around her, confused and hurt by his sudden departure. Things had been going so well, what had happened to make him change his mind so suddenly? 

She milled her way around the edge of the room, desperately trying to avoid any more contact with her guests, not in the mood to tell the story of her kidnapping to anymore strangers. Inhaling sharply, Rey curled her fingers into tight fists as she frustratedly tried to think of what caused Kylo to leave. Was it something she did? Was it something she said?

Rey let out a squeak as a hand reached out from behind a dark curtain, pulling her in and pressing her against a wall in the shadows. Kylo hovered over her, a wild hunger burning in his eyes. His eyes darted over her face before furiously devouring her mouth with his own, kissing her with a smoldering ferociousness that consumed her, igniting a burning flame that pooled deep in her belly. She tangled her fingers in his soft hair as their shared passion consumed them, unable to resist the call of their connection any longer. They were going to feed the beast and would pay whatever price it would cost them. 

Kylo pressed his body against hers, reaching down to draw his hot hands up the silken flesh of her thigh, lifting her easily off the ground and slamming her lasciviously into the dark wall. They devoured each other with a fury, lost in the entanglement of their intermingled breaths and a delicious clash of tongues and teeth. Kylo’s mouth began to wander, laying a trail of smoldering kisses along the edge of her throat. Rey’s fingers dug into the softness of his jacket, overwhelmed by the need to be closer to him. She let out a soft moan and his tongue languorously paved across the expanse of her collar bones and up to her opposite ear. He circled the tip of his tongue across the soft lobe, tracing the soft flesh of her ear with the tip of his tongue with a hungry growl,

_“Stardust.”_

Rey pulled away abruptly, seized by a sudden panic that ripped her from their heated tryst, gasping desperately for air as she struggled to catch her breath,

“W-w-what? How?” 

Kylo set her back down of her feet as she pressed her fingers to her temple in panicked confusion. Her eyes darted over his face and into the shadows around them as her ambiguous fear consumed her,

“I…I’m sorry…I can’t…”

In a flurry of inky blue fabric, Rey turned on her heel and darted away, leaving Kylo befuddled and alone in the darkness. 

 

__________________

 

Rey awoke the next morning with a fuzzy head and a heavy pit in her stomach. Her mind was a cloud of swirling thoughts as she tried to wrap her head around the events from the evening before. She had found herself lost in the moment with Kylo so easily, she could have stayed in his arms forever, but when he had murmured that name, a distressing jolt rattled through her mind, leaving her breathlessly reeling. The dark knight was bewildered when she pushed him away, as if he didn’t even realize the word that had come out of his mouth. Rey couldn’t wrap her mind around it, but it had felt eerily familiar, like she had known the name in another life but just couldn’t quite place it. It had only been faint echoes in her dreams before and hearing it tumble effortlessly from Kylo’s lips left her feeling lightheaded and fuzzy. Her heart ached as she ran away from him but she was desperate to feel the cool night air caress her face to clear her mind.

After she darted away from the gala, the Empress tore her way down the hall, her inky blue gown billowing behind her in gently floating gossamer waves as she made her way to the lift. Struggling to steady her breath as the turbolift inched its way up the many levels of the Palace, Rey stumbled out as the doors slid open on her floor, running down the length of the hall as fast as her feet would carry her. Dashing inside the door of her chambers, she haphazardly tore at the glittering bodice with her fingers, pulling the gown from her body to leave it in a sparkling heap on the floor. Rey strode to her bed and heaved the plush comforter from the surface, wrapping it around her like a cocoon. Breathing a heavy sigh, the Empress wandered out onto her balcony, tossing herself into the lavish armchair and tucking her feet under her hips. She deeply inhaled the cool night air, letting the frigid breeze caress her face. It slowly calmed her nerves and brought her back down to the surface from where she had spent a better part of the evening floating about in Kylo’s arms. Feeling infinitely more relaxed, Rey enjoyed a warm bath before tucking herself into bed, curling up in the luxurious covers to drift to sleep as her emotional exhaustion overwhelmed her. 

The heavy feeling plagued her once more when she woke and she decided that what she needed was a heavy dose of fresh air to clear her head. She bounded down the stairs to her wardrobe, quickly selecting a golden yellow gown from her the new colorful collection of gowns she had handpicked herself. Rey lifted the gown up and over her hips, pulling the gossamer sleeves to rest below her shoulders and trail down in sheers ribbons to the floor. Running her hands carefully over the delicate beadwork, she admired each line that the dressmaker had made, the beading elegantly framing the line of her shoulders, curving down her hips and splaying out gracefully down past her hips in glittering flourishes. 

Rifling through the multitude of drawers, Rey pulled a pair of starburst cuffs to hug her wrists, tying in perfectly with her new favorite gown. She dusted her eyelids with the palest gold, swiped a soft pink across her lips and twisted her chestnut hair into a soft knot at the nape of her neck, smiling at the girl in the reflection with a thrill as she inspected her handiwork. She strode up the stairs, twisting the long, silky sheer fabric of her sleeve anxiously in her hands as she made her way out into the hall and down to the turbolift. 

Staring down at her toes, she was overwhelmed by a jittery feeling as her thoughts continued to linger on the distressing moment from the night before when Kylo had murmured that name under his breath that melted away as soon as the doors opened. She felt him before she saw him, lifting her eyes in a flash to meet his. Kylo’s face was guarded with a quiet uneasiness before he lifted his eyes to meet hers and split into the sweetest smile with just a touch of shyness that sent an unexpected warmth rushing straight through her heart that she couldn’t help but meet it with her own. Every bad feeling from the night before melted away, leaving only she and him alone in the the quiet hallway. Kylo lifted his palm and stretched his hand out to her,

“Going up or down, Empress?”

“Down, please. I was going to take in some air,” Rey grinned happily at him, sliding her fingers into his waiting hand and striding into the lift, “Would you like to join me?”

“I doubt that fresh air would do me any good this late in the game, but I would gladly keep you company, I’d just like to make an unplanned stop first if that’s alright with you?”

Rey cocked her head to the side and narrowed her eyes suspiciously, 

“An unplanned stop? And where might that be? I’m not dressed for another sparring session…”

Kylo grinned down at her facetiously and tossed her a quick wink, spurring on her curiosity,

“It’s a surprise, Highness.”

“Hmph. Well, you certainly have my attention, Lord Ren,” she playfully sniffed, lifting her nose into the air haughtily and snaking her hand through the crook of his arm, pulling him flush against her side, “I shall accompany you wherever you deem worthy to show your Empress.”

Kylo stiffened under her coy touch, pulling away from her to hold her at arm’s length,

“Rey, listen,” he nervously scrubbed his hands down his face, “About last night…I crossed that line I promised you that I’d help keep us from going over. I’m sorry.”

Rey took a solid step forward, pressing her palm against the hard planes of his chest and peering up at him through her thick lashes, 

“Kylo, stop. You didn’t do anything that I wasn’t thinking of myself and it was bound to happen eventually. Now that we know what triggers it, maybe we can work together to keep a little bit of extra distance between us? …not that I want any distance between us…it’s just…it’s not safe for us. I think that if we had known each other in another time, or another life, that things could be different. We both have a duty and promises to keep, maybe it would be best for us to just be…I don’t know…friends? I don’t want to be away from you but I also…you know…like you enough that I want to keep you… _safe_.”

“Friends,” Kylo stretched the word, as if he was regarding every single letter carefully as it rolled off his tongue, pressing his lips into a thin line as he looked down at her thoughtfully, “I think I can handle that. We will have to dial down the sparring a little and definitely no more dancing.”

He cupped his hand against her cheek and traced soft circles against her golden skin, his eyes softening as he gazed into hers,

“You know, the feeling is mutual…wanting to keep you safe. I promise you that as long as I am able to, I will try my hardest to honor that.” Rey circled her fingers around his, pulling his hand from her flesh to press a soft kiss into his palm. She turned his large hand over in her gentle grasp, tracing her fingers softly over the scars that marred his calloused skin. Lifting her gaze to him, she smiled softly when she found that his had never left hers for a single moment,

“I know.”

The turbolift came to a halt with a soft hum and the pair of them strode out, the steps effortlessly synchronized together as they made their way down the hall. Rey’s heart hummed happily as she smiled up at her dark knight, her friend, happy to know that she wasn’t alone. Kylo looked down at her quizzically with a concealed smiled, tugging her abruptly to a sudden stop,

“What are you smiling about?” Rey shrugged nonchalantly, giving him a coy smile as she chewed on her lip in joyous anticipation,

“No one’s ever given me a surprise before.”

“Never?”

“Mm-mmm…”

Kylo smiled fondly down at her, the serious, brooding knight momentarily vanishing before her eyes as she felt his nervous excitement radiate off of him,

“I’m pleased that you’re excited because we are here,” he flicked his eyes to the doorway that they had stopped in front of. Rey’s eyes widened excitedly, kicking herself that she had been so distracted by his presence that she hadn’t noticed where they were going. 

Gleaming before them was the ornately carved door of the mystery room that had intrigued Rey from the moment that she had stepped foot in the palace. She had yearned to find out what was inside but was continuously dismissed by those around her, especially her husband who informed her that the room contained nothing of consequence. That didn’t stop Rey from returning to the elegantly carved door, tracing her fingers across the cool durasteel, imaging what was inside. 

The Empress’s breath caught in her throat as her heart rate accelerated in excitement, her eyes darting up to Kylo in a flash,

“Really??”

The corners of his eyes crinkled happily as he gave her a soft nod,

“Close your eyes.”

 

Rey looked at him quizzically, softly biting her lip as she breathed a soft sigh, slowly fluttering her eyes closed as he had instructed. She smiled to herself as she felt Kylo twine his fingers with hers and heard the exhilarating click of a lock and the soft creak of a door. Putting her trust in him, she allowed Kylo to lead her blindly into the mysterious room in small, sure steps. Turning her head towards the sound, the door creaked again and latched behind her as Kylo continued to lead her down a passageway. Rey felt the ground beneath her feet transform from the smooth floors that matched those around the rest of the palace to something coarser that crunched and shifted with her every step. Kylo slowed their steps, shifting his grasp to her waist as they came to a stop. Suddenly, Rey was flooded with an overwhelming sensation like her senses had come alive. 

“Are you ready?”

“Mmmm…”

“Okay…open your eyes.”

 

Rey let out a soft gasp and shiver went coursing down her entire body as she lifted her eyes to the glorious sight around her. Blanketed in more shades of green than whiskers on a Loth-cat, the cavernous room was filled to the brim with thousands of species of plants and trees that covered every surface. She craned her eyes to the ceiling that towered at least seven stories above their heads, taking her breath away as her eyes were drawn to a magnificent waterfall at the epicenter of the space. They stood hand in hand on a dirt covered platform at the center of the room where a handful of dirt paths jotted out in different directions, leading to darkened corners filled with exotic flowers and plants from other worlds. Above them, a breathtaking night sky showered them in brilliant starlight, even in the height of the Coruscant morning hours.

Eyes wide, Rey tried to take in every detail, from the creek that ran under their feet to the bridge that crossed in front of the glorious stream of water that flowed from Maker knew where. It would take her ages to explore every corner and she couldn’t wait to do it. Kylo gave her a gentle squeeze as he watched Rey become overwhelmed with emotion,

“W…what is this place? I didn’t know there was this much green in the whole galaxy,” she breathlessly murmured as her eyes sparkled with unshed tears. 

“This is The Room of a Thousand Fountains. It was built thousands of years ago when the ancient Jedi built this temple. This place was home to Jedi Masters and Padawans alike, this is where they lived and trained long before the rise of the Empire. It was only then that it was converted into a Palace. It had been destroyed after The Clone Wars by the Emperor, but after the Galactic Civil War, Anakin Skywalker had it rebuilt. It’s flourished since then, hidden away after the Skywalkers died out many years ago,” he murmured, his voice tinged with sadness, “I’ve wanted to show it to you for so long. I…I thought that if anyone could appreciate it properly, it would be the girl from the desert.”

“Kylo…I….I don’t know what to say. This is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen….”

Kylo gazed down at her with a warm, content feeling in his heart, blinking softly in the artificial starlight,

“Yes, the most beautiful thing…”

He stood in awe of her as she practically glowed from within, blinding him with her light that stoked his own fledgling flame,

“The Jedi used this room to meditate and to train. I….I figured it could be a place for you to come to to feel like yourself. We….we could meet here if you wanted and it would be our…secret, I suppose. A place just for you, for us…if that’s what you wanted.”

Rey turned to face him, pulling herself closer in the majestic sea of green, the shimmer of unshed tears in her eyes. Reaching up, she pulled a ribbon of his inky hair through her fingers and softly traced her finger down the length of the scar that bisected his cheek,

“Yes. A place for us. I would like that very much,” she smiled softly, her emotions overflowing as her tears began to fall, tracing a delicate path down her cheek. Leaning into him, she snaked her arms around his torso, pulling them together and nestled her cheek against the broad planes of his chest. 

They held each other as the time ticked by into infinity. Kylo pressed his nose into her hair as she cried in his arms. He didn’t mean to cause her tears but he was glad to know that they were tears of overwhelming joy. In the magical light that reflected off the water, she felt soft and warm in his embrace and Kylo wished he could stretch out time so that he could hold her that much longer. With his arms wrapped around her, a peace he had never known before washed over him, dampening the darkness within him that he tried so hard to fight. Ever since he came face to face with his uncle in the temple on Ahch-to, his soul felt like it was splitting apart as his former self clawed his way to the surface and Rey was the anchor to his conflicted soul, the light to his darkness, a splendid blaze of stardust in his otherwise darkened night sky. 

Together they were light and dark…a balance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooooh, things are getting exciting!!!
> 
> Thank you so SO much to those who have left comments and kudos, they mean so much to me!!!
> 
> Writing this has been an absolute joy and all of you are my motivation to get it to the end that much sooner!!
> 
> Love to you all!
> 
> Xoxo KB


	10. Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Cause I've been whispering your name again and again  
> I've been imagining this day and I'll never be the same”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the continued love, comments, and kudos!!! I truly cherish every single one of them!! Life is very busy at the moment, but I am trying to keep on the once a week-ish publishing schedule!!  
> Love you all!!  
> -KB xoxo

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/144005946@N02/32005721867/in/dateposted-public/)

 

 

Rey anxiously peered out the transparisteel window of the speeder as it barreled through the flurry of late night Coruscant speeder traffic. She fiddled with the black lace ribbon that covered her eyes to conceal her identity, praying to the Gods that this would work. 

Her husband was still away on the Supremacy for Maker only knew how much longer and the Empress was determined to take advantage of her time without him. She had spent the last few weeks happily sparring with Kylo in the training room twice a week, like he had instructed. Easily grasping the basics of hand to hand combat, they quickly moved on to the use of practice weapons. It was a smart move on their part, the weapons providing a bit of distance between the pair to help quell the hunger that burned equally within both of them. Since their first lesson, they’d both tried desperately to cling to the line that Rey had set forth. 

She had spent much of her free time wandering the endless sea of green in The Room of a Thousand Fountains, finding fresh corners to explore and new species of plants to discover each time she ventured inside. The room provided an easy escape from her day to day duties as empress. It was a perfect place to think or to be alone, or to have quiet conversations with her friend, the Dark Knight. 

It had been his suggestion that they try and escape the palace for a short time. She was apprehensive of the idea at first, insisting that Vania Flast would never allow her to leave on her own without an entire battalion to accompany her. An official outing was bound to gain her a mob of significant figures to mingle with that were desperate to gain favor with the Emperor. Being Empress was her life now and she knew she’d never be able to show her face in the Upper Levels without someone recognizing her face,

“Why should we go as ourselves, then? Let’s pretend to be one of these stuffy well-to-do people and blend in with the crowd? I’ll be there, so you’ll be safe and I’m no stranger to wearing a mask…”

She had given him a small laugh and a shrug, thinking that the plan wouldn’t ever come to fruition. To her surprise, she found herself in the speeder that night, jetting off towards their secret adventure. 

As the speeder flew to her destination, Rey fiddled with the buttons on the wrist of her black gloves that rose elegantly past her elbows. Anxiously smoothing the silken emerald fabric of her gown that clung to her thighs, she nervously bounced her knees in anticipation of reaching their rendezvous. The craft began to slow and she watched out the viewport as the driver gingerly brought the ship down onto a long, sweeping landing pad. Throngs of handsomely dressed people milled about on the rich red carpet that led into the dome shaped building of The Galaxies opera house. The bright lights of the Coruscant skylines twinkled and glimmered as she stepped out of the speeder, placing her gloved hand into the waiting palm of her companion. 

Letting out a soft gasp, she beheld the regal man in front of her. Her eyes drifted from his toes up to his eyes that were burning into her. He wore his usual black, his shoulders shaped by a finely tailored black jacket that framed a black undershirt that was cut into a deep v, revealing the hard planes of his muscular chest that suddenly made her mouth run dry. She drew her eyes up to his face, taking in the simple detail of his black mask. It had sculpted, strong brows, not unlike his own, framed with delicate bands of silver that echoed the helm that he was so well known for. Soft wisps of his raven hair swept past his ears and caressed the skin of his neck and jaw, framing his beautiful, soft brown eyes. Those honeyed eyes that were framed by his dark lashes that always seemed to bore into hers. Every time she looked into them, she nearly lost herself. Those eyes that made her feel beautiful, strong and weak all at once, leaving her longing to push past the line in the sand that she had drawn in order to protect them. The embers in his eyes smoldered, his emotions dancing like fire as he returned her longing gaze.

That night, she had tried to expand outside of the realms of her normal wardrobe to find something that was neither herself, nor the Empress persona she wore so well. Rey had finally settled on the green gown whose creamy fabric melted down her every curve like she had been poured into it. Thin straps hugged her shoulders, crossing over her collar bones in delicate lines to form the sensuous bands of fabric that covered her from the top of her ribs to her waist, leaving a deep v down the center. The gown accentuated every slight curve of her coltish body, flaring out gracefully from the base of her hips to the floor. She had been worried that the gown would be leave too much of her exposed with the alluring design of the bodice, to her completely exposed back. 

Rey gave him a weak smile and anxiously ran her black gloves down her shimmering emerald gown, chewing on her red-painted lip, reaching out to snake her arm through the crook of his elbow. They walked arm and arm, making their way through the magnificent open arches that made up the entrance to the great hall. Striding across the plush, crimson carpet, they followed the flow of the crowd up a sweeping staircase. Kylo leaned down to brush the nose of his black mask against her ear,

“You are breathtaking tonight, Empress.”

“Shh, someone will hear you. Call me Kira.”

“Ha, if you say so, _Kira_ ,” the name rolled effortlessly off his tongue as he savored the flavor of it as each letter passed his lips, “If you’re Kira, then you call me,”

“Kylo Ren?”

The pair stopped dead in their tracks, turning slowly to meet the gaze of the portly, mustachioed Besalisk who was waving two his four arms to catch their attention. The creature’s greenish skin of his bloated wattle jiggled with excitement as he waved them over. Rey’s heart was threatening to burst as it hammered in her chest, feeling Kylo instantly stiffen underneath her grasp. He brushed his hand over her knuckles to give her hand a soft squeeze as she felt a warm surge of comfort wash over her,

“Excuse me?”

“Your mask, you modeled it after Kylo Ren, didn’t you? Wise choice, my boy, it goes well with your companion’s choice of dress, although you aren’t nearly tall enough to pass as him, I’m sorry to say.”

Kylo let out a sharp guffaw and an instant sense of relief spread down to her toes,

“Oh, I am deeply sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you,” the humanoid ran his four-fingered hand over his bony head crest in embarrassment, trailing his hand down his large, pudgy lips as he thought hopelessly for a way to recover from his accidental insult, “I hope you both have a lovely evening. I heard that Yesdian Hoolov is the most enchanting songstress that they’ve hosted at the Galaxies since Elara Dinsne was here so many years ago. What a loss to us all, to have her leave during her prime.”

“No offense taken, I appreciate the compliment. I would hate to be mistaken for Lord Ren, so I will take care to select my costume more carefully next time. You have a pleasant evening as well, kind sir,” Kylo gave him a diplomatic smile and a nod before steering Rey away and towards the hall leading towards their private box. 

Kylo twined his bare fingers with Rey’s black gloved ones as he guided them into the darkness of their secluded viewing area, tucked far enough away from the rest of the audience. He gently lead her to a wide, dark love seat for them to share. They settled themselves at either end of the plush cushions, Rey’s eyes glittering in excitement as her gaze darted towards his, reaching across the space between them to tangle her fingers in his,

“I can’t tell you how happy I am that you’ve brought me here. I feel this…this pull towards music and to have the chance to hear it here…I…I can’t tell you how much it means to me. Thank you.”

Kylo opened his mouth to speak, to tell her that it was and always would be for her. Part of him felt selfish, knowing how badly he wanted to experience the joy he felt in his heart to see her smile. He would take her to every magical place across the entire galaxy if it meant seeing her face light up the way it did now as the lights dimmed. The mingling voices of the audience members slowly died down to a quiet din. Softly smiling to himself, he couldn’t take his eyes off of her as she scooted to the edge of her seat, eyes wide in anticipation as a single spotlight shone onto the stage, lifting to the center of the auditorium. 

Music filled the air without effort, drawing their attention the singer who took center stage, dressed in a molten silver gown that sent beams of light radiating around the massive hall. She appeared to be part Theelin, with fair soft purple tones that shone against the bright lights of the stage. Her skin accentuated the colorful spots that covered her neck and shoulders and incandescent pink hair that was twisted into an elaborate updo that framed the trio of narrow horns that protruded from each of her temples. Kylo had heard stories of the Theelin Divas and how they were renowned for being of the greatest musical talent in the entire galaxy. What an honor for them to behold an individual from such a storied background. 

The melody rushed in and around every audience member, each individual equally entranced as the woman began to sing. Her voice soared through the air effortlessly, taking with it the very souls of the listening audience. They ascended together in a bewitching flight to the stars above as the Diva serenaded them with a lilting harmony and melody intertwined together in orchestral grandeur. Together on a shared journey that held them spellbound, every note flittered around them but Kylo couldn’t take his eyes off of his resplendent scavenger girl. 

He stared at her in awe, wondering how one single person could have such an effect on him. Rey leaned forward in her seat, her eyes wide in open mouthed wonder. The rise and fall of her chest quickened with every note that gracefully erupted from the Diva. Curious of what she was feeling, Kylo reached out gently through the Force to brush up against her beamingly bright signature. It took only a moment for the feeling to sink in, even though it was all over her face, right before his eyes. She blinked back shining tears as the music overwhelmed her completely, reaching out to squeeze Kylo’s hand in a bruising grip as she was flooded with a sudden wave of panicked confusion. Lifting her tear-filled eyes, she let out a soft sob,

“The music…oh Gods, my head. What’s happening to me?”

In a single fluid motion, Kylo encircled his arms around her waist and pulled her into his lap, tracing his fingers through her hair as the dam within her burst and she cried softly into his shoulder. 

“Kylo, the music feels so…so familiar to me…l-like I had heard a voice like that in a dream. I…I don’t understand what’s happening to me… it felt like a flood, first joy, and then I suddenly felt so much pain and sadness. It’s like I’m mourning someone I never knew,” she gripped the velvety fabric of his jacket, mournful sobs racking her body as the lilting melody continued to wash over them in delicate waves. 

Kylo nuzzled the soft skin behind her ear, deeply breathing in the sweet, floral scent of her chestnut hair. She sunk into him and his heart aching to fix the pain she was in. It wasn’t an enemy to be vanquished or a wound that could be healed and Kylo felt helpless as he held her firmly in his arms,

“C’mon, let’s get you home.”

Cradling her gently, Kylo tucked an arm under her knees and circled the other under her shoulders. He pulled her close to his chest as he stood, quickly sweeping out of their private box. He carefully strode down the red velvet steps of the opera house, making his way to the landing platform to their waiting speeder. Ducking inside the open door, he settled himself against the seat, holding Rey ever closer to his chest as her sobs slowed.

The speeder gently lifted them into the air as Kylo hugged her body close, tracing soft lines against the bare skin on the small of her back with his fingers and whispering soft affirmations in her ear,

“You’re not alone.”

Rey’s breathing began to calm, snaking her hand under the deep neckline of his shirt, warm and soft against the hard planes of his chest. Their bodies molded together in the darkness of the back of the speeder. Their body heat intertwined together like the beating of their hearts. She sniffed sorrowfully into his chest and let out a deep sigh,

“Better?” Kylo rumbled into her hair.

Rey gave a soft nod, her eyes slowly slipping closed in the close comfort of his arms. Kylo smiled softly into her hair and continued his ministrations with his fingers, tracing delicate lines across her golden skin until the speeder touched down at the foot of the Palace.

He held her close to his heart and he lifted them together out onto the landing pad, striding slowly up the grand staircase. Rey remained peacefully asleep in his arms as he walked through the silent halls to the turbolift. Kylo silently thanked the Gods that it was a late enough hour that there wasn’t any extra staff milling about to see them and raise unwanted suspicions.

Once they had reached her floor, Kylo shouldered his way through the doorframe and into her chambers, his heart rate suddenly increasing as he realized he had never been inside her room. He lovingly laid her sleeping form atop the satin covers and made quick work of removing her shoes, placing them side by side on the floor next to her bed. Grasping one of the fingers of her black glove between his own, Kylo cautiously drew it from her hand. He leisurely planted a trail of soft kisses over every inch of her newly exposed skin as Rey released a soft hum into the air around them. He carried his breathless adoration to her other arm, gently tugging her remaining glove down her arm, laying the same path of featherlight kisses along her flesh until a curious mark on her wrist drew his attention away. 

He cocked his head to the side with a soft smile as he inspected the shape of the freckles that adorned the golden flesh inside her arm, tracing his finger across the constellation he found there. The dark knight’s brows pressed together as his smile melted away as his mind surged with a startling realization.

A map of the stars. Proof that she’d always have a way to find him.

Kylo dropped her wrist to the bed as he stumbled away from her with a jolt. Could it be? No. She was gone with the rest of them, lost forever ago in another life. His eyes wild, he stood bewildered before her sleeping, unknowing form as his brain scrambled to make sense of it all. The memories of her came flooding back in savage flashes. The sound of her infectious laughter. The smell of the jungle as the damp air seeped into their skin. Her star dusted hazel eyes wide with wonderment as she harnessed the Force with her fingertips outstretched for the first time. Him squeezing her tiny form to his chest as he overflowed with enormous pride. 

_Fear. Pain. Fire. His mother’s face._

_I will find you, I swear._

_I don’t care how long it takes._

_No matter how far._

_For forever._

_Your time is coming soon. Come to me and you will finally feel like you belong._

The pain of the rush of memories ran through him like a scorching flood and he was left reeling. She was here. His Stardust. 

Kylo breathlessly sat next to her on the bed, the mattress bending under his weight. With trembling hands, he reached up and pulled the lace ribbon from her eyes. He pressed his mouth into a thin line as his chin shook with unshed tears. 

It was her. There was no doubt about it. He saw it in the curve of her face and the soft upturn of her mouth. Kylo gingerly laced his fingers around her arm, lifting the constellation of freckles on her wrist to his mouth and to press a soft kiss against her flesh. Reluctantly tearing himself from her side, he knew she was safe for the time being. There was someplace he desperately had to see and answers he needed to find. 

 

_____________________

 

Squinting against the shadow his hand cast on his face, Kylo took in the worn shape of the fallen AT-AT from the foot of the ramp of his Upsilon-Class command shuttle. The last time he was here, he never wanted or expected to return back to Jakku. His skin prickled unpleasantly under his black armbands and tunic, already feeling the unwanted effects of the blistering heat. Heart aching, he plodded through the sand that shifted under his heavy boots, wondering if a new scavenger had taken up residence inside since he had been here last. 

Closing the final steps between him and the walker, Kylo braced his palms against the fabric covered hatch in the belly, taking a steadying, deep breath. He ducked down into the low entry, pausing to let his brown eyes adjust to the murky light inside. 

He hadn’t ventured inside the walker when he had come to fetch his scavenger girl so long ago. He’d assumed that as soon as she left, another scavenger would have made use of the space, but the sand covered surfaces inside led him to believe that it had remained empty since her departure. 

Touches of her were everywhere. From the way she had cleverly made good use of any piece of junk she had come across, fiddling with the parts until it made something new, to the tiny, homemade starfighter pilot doll that was tucked lovingly onto a shelf. Tracing his fingers through the sand that had blown in through the belly of the walker for the last year, Kylo took in every corner as his mind drifted back to her face, guilt swarming over him with each second he lingered inside.

He followed his feet to a large wall, lifting his eyes with a strangled gasp. Nearly every inch of the durasteel hull was covered with short hash marks. Raising his hand to trace his fingers across the marks, he was racked with a breathless sob as he realized that every line was a day that she had been here, alone. His eyes began to blur as he tried to count them all, not sure if it was because of his tears or the sheer number of them that caused his sight to strain. 

Why didn’t he see it was her from the start? How could he not tell? Suddenly, the intoxicating pull between them became inescapably clear. The Force had been tugging at them from the very moment he set foot on the same planet as her, drawing them to each other even then. It had known, so why hadn’t he?

Kylo’s eyes flickered closed, releasing a stream of searing tears down the length of his scar that smattered softly in the sand at his feet. His mind was instantly drawn back to their life together as children, so long ago in the shadow of the Great Temple that was hidden deep in the jungles of Yavin IV. The little girl’s softly freckled face and wide grin came back to him in an instant, as clear as if he was a young boy again, traipsing after her as she tumbled through the endless green of the jungle floor. 

His chin trembled and his legs felt weak as his fingertips lingered on the marks she had left behind as guilt and grief consumed him. He had promised that he would protect her, that he would find her and cross the galaxy to do so. Snoke had brutally pried his claws into Kylo’s mind, ripping apart every happy memory he had ever had, replacing them with rage. Tear away his light in order to fuel the dark. Kylo reached out for something, anything around him to hang onto as his body began to shake. His sobs were soft at first as he tried to quell the anguish coursing through him before he was overcome. Turning his back to scars of her lonely childhood, he slid down the wall to cradle his head in his palms. 

Kylo recalled how his body jarred with each blow, how the pain from Snoke’s assault on his mind seared through to the tips of his fingers, taking away every feeling of happiness and joy he ever had. He still felt the faint echos of the memories that had been ripped away, poisoned and tarnished by Snoke’s twisted plan. Amidst the blur of his past, the memory of her was breathtakingly vivid in his mind as he remembered how he had tucked her safely away in the furthest reaches of his mind. He had locked the thought of her up so securely to keep her from Snoke that as the darkness overtook him, there came a day when she was lost to him too. 

He had failed her. He had failed her and he had failed himself. He should have tried harder, fought more valiantly to combat the voice that had lived inside his mind from when he was a little boy. Maybe all this could have been avoided and he could have been with her like he had promised. But he didn’t. 

Somehow, through everything that had happened, Rey had grown up without him into a fierce young woman. Kylo’s heart swelled with pride as he remembered the moment he was pulled to her so long ago at Niima Outpost. She had fought with everything she had against the those who attacked her without warning, throwing solid punches and kicks until only the sheer number of them overwhelmed her. Since then, in their weekly sparring lessons, he had proudly watched her blossom under his tutelage, effortlessly honing her skills. Kylo knew that if the same scavengers met her today, they didn’t stand a chance against her. 

He pressed his lips into a thin line with a soft laugh, fondly thinking back to how she verbally sparred with him after he had saved her skin. Looking back now with the full knowledge of who she was, there was no doubt that she was still the same feisty, stubborn, pain in the neck little girl that she had been when he had known her in that other life. Despite his absence and her lost memories, she never stopped being who she was at her core. After all this time, she never gave up. She found a way to survive when all the odds were stacked against her.

Kylo let out a soft gasp as he recalled the reoccurring dream she had told him about over and over again. In her vision, they were both grown, he was dark, and the pair of them didn’t know who they were to each other. She had known, in her own way, what was going to happen. So much time had gone by, the heavy remorse he felt stewing in his thoughts pummeled through him as he brought his shaking hand into a tight fist. 

What had been done couldn’t be un-done. He couldn’t take back the things he had done or bring back the brothers that he had killed. All in the name of Snoke and his never ending quest to fill the galaxy with darkness. Bowing his head between his knees, he centered himself within the Force and focused his thoughts on the dim flicker of his own light deep inside. It had all been extinguished so long ago and she had rekindled it. Kylo wistfully smiled to himself as he pictured the freckle-faced little girl sitting between his knees, fanning her small hands out in front of their eyes to declare,

_“Ben and Stardust, Guardians of the Light!”_

Perhaps she had been the guardian of his all this time, even if neither of them were aware of it. He had known from the first time he saw her here on Jakku that the Force had a plan for them even if he didn’t know what it was yet. Kylo could feel the ghost of his former self tearing his way up through the darkness but he couldn’t believe that he would ever be free of it. Snoke had wanted him because he was a child of both the Light and the Darkness. Shadows that followed him as he grew up until Snoke had stoked them into such a blinding fury that everything else had been snuffed out. It was a part of him, he just needed to find balance.

Kylo lifted his eyes suddenly as he was struck by the thought. 

_Balance._

Perhaps that’s what the Force wanted from them, to be guardians of both the light and the dark, to harness the space between. There was no dark or light, there was the two of them with the potential to achieve it. 

Bringing himself to his feet, he turned to solemnly brush his fingers over the markings on the wall once more, whispering a silent goodbye to the little girl who had stretched on her toes to scratch a line into the wall for each day she remained on the dusty planet. It was time for him to go, he had already been gone from her for too long and he had years of lost time to make up for. Now that he had found her, he wouldn’t stop until she was safe. Safe from Hux and the Order. 

He would trust in the Force. The Force would set them free. 

 

_____________________

 

Rey had woken the morning after their visit to the Galaxies opera house alone in her bed, still dressed in her peridot colored gown. After going about her normal routine, washing and dressing like usual, she found a note on her breakfast tray. She had snatched it up with a smile, holding it to her heart. The secret notes had become a pattern of his that Rey cherished, her face splitting into a dazzling smile as her eyes roved over the delicately swirling script. 

_I’ll be back soon._

Disappointed by his sudden disappearance, probably called away for an important task for The Order, Rey spent her time wistfully wandering around the Palace. She traced her footsteps down hallways that she had roamed a thousand times before, tracing her fingers along the gilded walls until she found herself in their training room. Her fingers danced across the training weapons hung along the wall, stopping to circle them firmly around the center of a quarterstaff. Lifting it from its post, she looked up the length of the staff with a soft smile that crinkled in the corners of her eyes. Rey toed off her ridiculously high shoes, leaving them in a heap by the edge of the wall and strode to the center of the training room. 

Capturing the edge of her steel blue gown, she flung the skirt out to her side with a flick of her wrist, the fabric fluttering in gossamer waves down the the floor. She hadn’t planned on training today and hoped that she’d be able to move in her dress. The fabric was light and the cut of the garment left her a fair amount of freedom of movement. Sheer ribbons criss-crossed across her collar bones and behind her neck, connecting to the bodice on the front in an elegant X on her chest. Delicate beadwork graced the panels of her torso down past her hips on the skirt, framing the open panel on her abdomen where her golden flesh peeked through from her bust down to her waist. The airy fabric of her skirt draped down to her feet in graceful waves with a deep slit that travelled the length of her upper thigh down to the floor. 

Rey lunged forward, thankful the slit in her in gown provided her some more flexibility, thrusting the staff towards an invisible foe in front of her. With a smile, she gave the staff a wide swing and another thrust before pulling it back to her chest. She lowered it, bringing it to rest behind her back, taking a deep breath before her next move. Crossing her body, Rey brought the quarterstaff up over her head with a twirl, spinning her body in the process and surging forward as she came back around. Rey continued to twirl and spin the staff around until her skin began to take on a glossy shine and her chestnut curls began to stick to her face, her body beginning to ache from the extra work. Lifting her face to the mirror, she admired the soft pink flush of her cheeks. It brought a smile to her face as she gave the staff one more spin before bringing it to rest in between her toes, feeling her body automatically remember what to do once she had the staff in her hands. It had been her only weapon on Jakku, besides her fists, and had earned her quite a reputation in Niima Outpost. She had fatefully left it behind in her walker on that auspicious day when she came face-to-mask for the first time with Kylo Ren. 

Rey had taken a beating that day. It hadn’t been her first or her last. While in the moment, it wasn’t the most pleasant experience, her ribs still aching from time to time as she recalled the scavenger’s boot in her ribs, it had brought him to her. From that moment, as turbulent as their first meeting may have been, she had felt an unexplainable attraction towards him. It was an electrifying force that tugged them towards each other and rejoiced when they gave in to it’s intoxicating call. 

He had been so respectful to the line she had drawn in the hypothetical sand in an effort to keep the pair of them safe from the Order. Kylo had kept his distance from her during their sparring sessions, reducing the temptation they were both bound to feel when one’s heated flesh was pressed against the other’s. Rey had been happily receptive to his teaching, smiling softly to herself as she recalled how he was far more patient with her than she had expected. She knew full well how the galaxy spoke of the legendary fury of Kylo Ren, destroying anything that got in his way. 

It wasn’t a secret how Kylo covered the galaxy with his shadow, bringing pain and destruction to their enemies. She had seen it herself on Ahch-to when he singlehandedly took on the Guavian Death Gang. He had furiously decimated the members of the gang, brutally bringing justice down on those who would harm her, just as he did on Jakku. Rey took a shaky breath as her mind flittered to her currently absent husband. She had no doubt that if Kylo knew the full extent of what Armitage had done to her, he would tear the Emperor to shreds with his bare hands. 

Rey wasn’t a stranger to a painful life, where suffering was the cruel cost of survival. Hux was merely a different, richer, more handsome version of Unkar Plutt, demanding services from her in return for what she needed to survive and disciplining her when she disobeyed him. At first, it was a bitter pill to swallow when Hux’s true character had been revealed to Rey once it was already too late for her to turn back. He had thoroughly convinced her that he was truly fond of her and would love her as she had dreamed about with the dark haired man, but now Rey wondered if he’d be capable of love at all. At first, she felt sorry for him, her eyes straining with tears when he regaled her with the tale of his difficult childhood under his father, Brendol. She had tried to make him happy for a time but quickly discovered it wasn’t her that he wanted in the first place. It was only her story and how it would benefit him and his reputation with the people that mattered. Rey gave a half-hearted chuckled as she realized that his sham of affection began to wane when she became more popular with millions of individuals and his approval continued to wane in the shadow of her light. Clearly, it hadn’t had the effect he had desired upon first meeting her. 

He was so much stronger than she ever imagined him to be with his scrawny frame. Rey thought that maybe he was like her and had to learn to fight from a young age in order to have the proper tools to survive. What a pity that he hadn’t coped with his painful childhood the way she had, turning his pain into something dark and twisted when Rey turned hers into strength and hope. She had been working hard under Kylo’s tutelage and wondered if she would be able to challenge Armitage the next time he raised a hand to her. 

It had been quite some time since the last time he had raised a hand to her, seemingly focused on the production of an heir. Rey hadn’t had any experience with those pursuits, the only example she saw was the transactional way that some individuals took others in their tents. She didn’t have any expectations on their wedding night but still somehow found herself disappointed. Was that all there was?

It wasn’t anything compared to how she felt when she had dreamt of the dark haired man. The vivid images of him in her mind filled her with a hunger she didn’t understand, leaving her reeling when she woke. Rey hadn’t experienced anything like that before and was convinced it was only her mind playing tricks on her until the pull between Kylo and her intensified. She found his constant presence confusing and frustrating at first, unsure what it was that made the air between them buzz with a delicious electricity. He stayed close by almost always, there for her in some of her most desperate moments. Eventually, it started to feel better when he was around. 

Rey remembered the dream she had that melded both the dark haired man and Kylo together. The vision made her already addled mind become more chaotic, nearly thinking that Hux had hit her harder than she thought. But to her amazement on Ahch-to, Kylo finally revealed himself to her. Seeing the face of the man in her dreams left her stunned, desperate to figure out how she knew his face before she ever laid eyes on it with her own eyes. 

Rey breathlessly leaned her head against the staff, using it as something sturdy to lean on as her knees went weak, thinking back to the way his fingers brushed her bare skin. His touch set her afire with a feeling she had never known before. The way his mouth claimed hers filled her with a wanton hunger that she tried to push away. She had been claimed already and made a vow to love, honor, and obey. No matter how badly she wanted to run away with him, it would only cause trouble. 

He had respected the line she set and they both tried to resist the pull that became that much stronger since they came together in that fleeting moment in the hut on Ahch-to…and then again in the Silencer…but their connection was persistent and it took every ounce of self control she possessed to keep herself under control. It was for the best…for both of them. 

Her thoughts drifted to him as she leaned against the quarterstaff in the training room, missing him in a way she never knew she could miss another person. He had been gone for only a few hours and already the ache of longing to be with him echoed through the very marrow of her bones. Rey had gotten good at being alone in the palace after growing up so isolated on Jakku, but she found it difficult to keep herself busy without her friend to keep her company. The hours without him ticked by slowly as such a leisurely pace that it seemed cruel, wringing out the seconds so that they felt like hours. A loner by trade, she didn’t have any idea that missing someone could take over every fiber of her being and wring her out like a wet sponge. It was a pure misery that Rey was completely unprepared for. 

Tucking the quarterstaff back into its home along the wall, Rey leaned against the firm surface to slip her shoes back on and ran the tips of her fingers through her hair to tame the sweat-fueled curls that had sprung up along her temples. She strode to the door, lingering with her hand on the frame to give the room one last look. With a wistful smile, her heart skipped a beat when her thoughts drifted to the idea of being here with him once more. 

 

Rey tried to keep herself as busy as she could during his absence. On the second day without him, she woke late in the day and dressed herself in a pair of simple black trousers and sleeveless red top, hoping that the subdued ensemble would allow her the freedom to do what she planned that day. She wandered down into the outbuildings that surrounded the palace and smiled to herself as she heard a familiar singing voice. Peeking around the corner into the hanger, the voice grew louder as she approached him. Poe Dameron lifted his head from under the speeder he was working on, his face splitting into a dashing smile,

“Well, hey there, Majesty. What can I do for you?”

“Hey,” Rey couldn’t help but return his grin, still finding his relaxed demeanor a pleasant and welcome surprise, “Is the shop still open for a fellow tinkerer?”

It wasn’t long before Rey found herself perched on the wing of the speeder, her eyes keenly focused on the components tucked inside. The conversation flowed effortlessly with Poe, making the time go by quickly. She found it odd that it was so easy to make a connection with him so quickly but there was something, a familiarity to him, that told her she could trust him. It could have been the warmth of his smile, a genuineness and a softness to his spirit that made their interaction simple and uncomplicated. He told her more of his home on Yavin IV and she listened intently, quickly enraptured in the way he described life on the jungle moon. Poe told her more about the woman who had taught him the songs she’d heard him singing only minutes before,

“Elara had the most beautiful voice. She actually grew up here on Coruscant and sang at the Galaxies opera house, can you believe it? How Varik convinced her to leave and go to Yavin IV, I’ll never know.”

“Elara…I’ve heard that name before…we…I visited the opera house just a couple days ago. I swear I heard someone talk about her. She wouldn’t be Elara Dinsne?”

“I think so…she had so many wonderful stories and the most beautiful songs to sing. I’ll never forget the things she taught me when I was a kid. My own mother died when I was little and she…she was sort of like a second mother to me, I suppose,” Poe smiled wistfully as he fiddled with a delicate gold ring on a silver chain around his neck before tucking it back into his shirt, “She really was the kindest soul.”

“What ever happened to her? Does she still live on Yavin IV?”

Poe’s face fell as he let out a deep sigh,

“There…there was an attack. So many good people were lost that day…we thought maybe she got away but she’s gone, like all the rest.”

Rey reached out and brushed her fingers along his arm, offering him a warm smile as she gave his shoulder a squeeze,

“You’re not alone anymore, Poe. You’ve got me and I am so grateful that I could come tinker with you today.”

“I’m glad you’re here too, Empress. Now, let’s take a look at the ion drive and see if we can push this bad boy a little further in those skylanes and I wanna hear more about how scavenging works, you said you built your own speeder from spare parts?”

He listened to her like he was absorbing her words as she told him about her scavenging days on Jakku. The more time she spent with him that afternoon, the more her spirit lifted. She would be forever thankful for the friend she didn’t know she needed, bringing her a lightness from the heavy feeling that missing Kylo filled her with. 

 

Rey stirred from her deep slumber, burrowing herself deep into the warm, soft sheets. It was her third day without him. As she roused from her heavy slumber, rubbing the remnants of sleep from her eyes, the Empress became aware of the arm snaked around her waist. Her eyes fluttering shut, she let out a soft hum as she circled her fingers around his flesh,

“You’re back,” she sighed, smiling into her pillow.  
The arm gave her a squeeze as he pulled her closer, nuzzling his nose into her hair,

“I’ve missed you, Flower.”

Rey’s breath stuttered in her chest, pulling her hand away from him in a flash as she stiffened in his arms. She swallowed the thick knot of bile in her throat, her body freezing and mind glazing over as his hands roved down the silken fabric of her nightgown. 

_Find that happy thought._

 

_____________________

 

_Parry. Dodge. Parry. Strike._

Rigid with a burning fury, Rey surged from foot to foot as she clenched her fist around the hilt of a practice saber. She felt sick to her stomach as her mind flickered back to that morning, stupidly falling for his tender touches and foolishly imagining that those hands belonged to Kylo. Parrying and thrusting the saber out with a lunge, Rey channeled her anger into every feverish movement. She had offered up her love and Armitage had taken it like a possession, tossing it to the side without a second thought to anything but himself. Every moment and every piece of her he took left her feeling bitter and she was furious with herself that she had allowed him to take more. In her mind, she fought back, striking him over and over until she sent him bruised and bleeding from her bed. She wanted so badly to use what she had learned to make him answer for what he had done, but the voice in her head told her that it wasn’t time yet. He’d pay but not yet. She wasn’t ready.

 

Lunging with a snarl, Rey brought the blade over her head with a sizzling hum. In here, she felt powerful and free. She felt more like herself with the weapon in her hand, spinning the hilt effortlessly in the palm of her hand with a smile. 

_Slash. Parry. Swing. Spin._

Rey lost herself in the movements like a trance, moving her body with each motion, imagining the Emperor’s face as she sliced her blade through the air. Absorbed in her meditation with the blade in her hand, she didn’t hear the hiss of the door sliding open behind her until a familiar voice echoed out like soft rolling thunder billowing across a dark sky on a stormy night,

“Hey.”

Spinning on her heel, he saw the shock on her face before she could hide it. A small smile played on his lips, his eyes softer than she’d ever seen them before. Rey was briefly mesmerized by the deep swirls of brown before snapping back into her sour mood,

“You’re back.”

Kylo lifted his broad shoulder from the frame of the door, striding towards her in his signature long, loping strides. He lifted his large hand to her flushed cheek, brushing a stray strand of her chestnut hair behind her ear. Rey tried to resist the instant urge to melt into his touch, pulling herself away as her frown deepened. Brows creasing together, the dark knight lowered his gaze to meet hers,

“Are you okay? What is it?”

“I’m fine,” she sniffed, “let’s get to work, shall we?”

“As you wish, your worshipfulness.”

Kylo pulled a second practice saber from the wall of weapons, bringing it to life with a flick of his thumb and circling the blade with an elegant twirl. Rey barely gave him a moment to ready himself before she swung her blade down from her head. Kylo effortlessly blocked it, pushing her back as the two sabers met with a sizzle. He held his blade up, level with his nose, and pointed the tip at her as she prowled around him,

“You’re in a mood. I thought you’d be glad to see me.”

Rey whipped her saber around in a swirl over her shoulder, bringing it down for another parry. Kylo brushed it away with a flick of his wrist, surging forward with a deep step forward and a parry of his own,

“I’m not in a mood. I just want to get to work. You’ve been going too easy on me, I need to learn this faster. I need to be better…be stronger.”

Rey pulled her body under their interlocked blades, causing Kylo to briefly lose his balance as she skittered away from him. His blade dragged across the ground with a sizzle before swinging it over his shoulder in an elegant twirl. He tilted his head to the side and narrowed his eyes, 

“You want me to be harder on you?”

“Yes. Treat me like you would anyone else.”

“As you wish, Princess. You won’t like it.”

“I can handle myself.”

“Clearly.”

Kylo squared his shoulders, his face instantly darkening as his large body seemed to fill every inch of the room with his energy. She wanted her to treat her like anyone else? Fine. The dark knight stalked towards her in long steps, swinging his saber in a graceful circular beam of light. Rey gave her blade a wide swing over her head with a lunge that Kylo dexterously sidestepped, sending her to the floor in a heap. She scrambled to her feet, frustrated that he made it look so easy, she parried over and over in an effort to push him back, but Kylo blocked each one, his eyes burning as he forced her back with a whirling parry of his own. 

“Is that the best you’ve got, Majesty?”

Rey thrust her saber forward only to be met by Kylo’s. The blades met in the air with an electrifying hum. Kylo was a master in lightsaber combat who wasn’t letting Rey have it easy. She was starting to tire, he could tell but knew she was capable of more,

“Life in the palace has made you soft…weak….come on, give me more!”

Their blades gleamed in the soft afternoon light that was seeping through the windows, buzzing together in an odd symphony of sound as Kylo pushed Rey further back with strike after strike. The empress struggled to regain her footing as he sent her stumbling towards the windows with each powerful blow. She tried to push against him but his strength and experience overwhelmed her as she found herself wishing she hadn’t asked for him to treat her like anyone else. Rey cried out as their blades locked together and Kylo pressed against her furiously, his face aglow with the flickering light of the sabers,

“I thought you’d want this more. I thought you’d try harder. Where’s the girl who worked so hard for everything she had?””

“She’s still here!”

Rey blinked up at him as she struggled to drive him back from their locked blades, trying desperately to center her breathing as his face loomed above hers,

“No. I left her back on Jakku. Hux made sure you left her behind. He doesn’t think you have a place in this story. You come from nothing, you’re nothing. But not to me.”

Rey closed her eyes for a fraction of a moment and Kylo watched her in puzzlement. Had he been too harsh? She wanted him to push her but perhaps he had gone too far. Her furrowed brow melted into a serene relaxation before Rey fluttered her lashes open, her eyes intensely burning with a silent fury. She slipped her blade out from under his, swiveling her body away from her position between Kylo and the wall. Kylo stumbled from the sudden loss of pressure under his saber, struggling for a moment to find his balance. Her eyes were menacing as she drew her saber down on top of him over and over with a strength that she had never shown before. It was like she was lost within her own power, drawn into a mesmerizing trance as a different part of her took over. Rey pushed the dark knight further back with blow after blow, sending him stumbling over his large feet. Kylo pulled himself up, squaring his shoulders as he brought his blade down in a brutal swing. Without thinking, Rey lifted her hand and pushed at the air in front of her, ripping Kylo off his feet like he had been yanked back by an invisible set of ropes. He was sent flying into the far wall with a thud, landing on the floor in a dark heap. 

Rey disengaged her saber and threw it to the floor. She struggled to catch her breath as she lifted her palms to her eyes, her mind in a chaotic disarray about her actions. Lifting her eyes suddenly to Kylo’s unmoving form, she darted to him in a flash, sinking to her knees by his side. She traced her fingers across his wide, muscular back as her eyes flitted over him anxiously. What had she done? What was that?

Rey circled her fingers around his shoulder and heaved him to his back. Kylo’s face was serene and still as he laid beneath her hands, unmoving. Seized by panic, she hugged his face with her palms and desperately searched his exquisite face,

“Oh God, Kylo!! Kylo, please wake up. I don’t know what happened, I am so sorry!!”

She pressed her hands against the hard planes of his chest and gave him a gentle shake, silently begging for him to do something, anything. 

Kylo’s face abruptly split into a wide grin as he burst into wild peals of laugher. His laugh was deep and rumbling, echoing around the room as Rey sunk back onto the floor, watching him with a muddled look on her face. His breath came in quick gasps between his unstoppable giggles. Tears began to gather in the corners of his eyes as he sat up from the floor,

“What is it?”

Kylo’s laughed died but his smiled remained as he wiped at the corners of his eyes. His smiled melted as he reached out for her to gather her in his arms, lifting her easily into his lap. The dark knight nuzzled the soft skin behind her ear with his nose, smiling softly, 

“It’s….it’s exactly what we needed. Don’t worry Sta…Rey….I’m going to teach you everything you need to know.”

“Know about what?”

“You’ll see,” Kylo stood easily with Rey wrapped up in his arms, gently setting her back onto her feet with a smile, “Pack a bag, Empress, we’re getting the hell out of here.”


	11. Less Than Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Thank you, Armie,” Rey leaned forward and wrapped her arms around her husband’s narrow shoulders and breathed softly into his ear, “Sleep well knowing that I won’t be worried in the slightest since I know that anywhere is safe as long as you’re not there. And when I return, you’ll never touch me again,” she pulled away and lifted his clammy hands to her lips to press a firm kiss to his knuckles as the dual-ion engines thundered to life with a roar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhh, how I have missed this world!!! 
> 
> My real life has been insanely busy the last couple months. I barely had enough brain power to function, letalone write. I can’t tell you what a relief it is to me to be able to focus on something that isn’t related to Thin Mints....
> 
> A HUGE thank you to LostInQueue for letting me dump my ideas all over you (sorry about the mess) and for being my second set of eyes. I’d be lost without you, Sprinkles! 😘
> 
> My hope is to get back to updating this bad boy FULL TIME (back to weekly business, folks! 🤩).
> 
> Come say hi on Twitter, Tumblr, and Apple Music! I am kaybohls across the board!! 
> 
> There’s a Stardust playlist, I’d be tickled if you took a listen! Take a look [YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO](https://itunes.apple.com/us/playlist/stardust/pl.u-kv9lRRLtbN5op)

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/144005946@N02/33649174778/in/dateposted-public/)

 

Kylo carefully watched the emperor as he rolled the words over in his mind. The emperor’s mouth was pursed but slightly open and loose as he blinked blankly at him. The look of confusion on the ginger’s face wasn’t lost on the dark knight as the pasty faced man’s eyebrows rose high into his slicked back hairline,

“A new plot.”

“Yes.”

“To assassinate the Empress.”

“Shall I go over the intelligence collected once more in detail or would you like a summary?”

Kylo stood, silently bemused, as he watched Hux gape at him open mouthed as he waited to make the next move. He knew full well that there wasn’t any plot that he knew of to hurt his scavenger girl but they needed a reason to take her off-planet and away from the watchful eyes of her husband. The only threat was the smarmy ginger, himself. 

Knowing right away that he would need to appeal to the emperor’s want for popularity, Kylo waited for the opportune moment when Hux would be surrounded by senators from Core Worlds that the ginger was desperate to hang onto their good favor. Any answer but the obvious that any caring husband would give in the event of a threat against their wife would shine a poor light on the emperor. His vanity was beyond measure and with his popularity teetering on the edge, Hux couldn’t afford to slip up. The galaxy was fond of their empress and wouldn’t look kindly on Armitage if they knew how he treated her behind closed doors.

“And your plan is…”

”Take her to an undisclosed location for her safety until the threats have been neutralized.”

“Threats?”

“Three of them, majesty, actually. Apparently there are those who aren’t as fond of ‘The People’s Empress’ as the rest of the galaxy.”

“And when do you plan on departing Coruscant with _my_ queen?”

Kylo bristled at Hux’s blatant possessiveness. He knew that it would be the one challenge that would be difficult to make their way past. Hux didn’t want anything happening with Rey that he wasn’t aware of. Squaring his shoulders, Kylo tried to keep his facial expressions passive, a task that he now found a chore once he disposed of his mask back on Ahch-To, 

“I recommend that we leave as soon as possible, we don’t have enough information to guarantee the Empress’s safety within the walls of the palace.”

“Ren, I can hardly give my consent for my wife to be removed from her public duties for an undisclosed amount of time…”

The Emperor shuffled on his feet and uncomfortably tugged at the cuffs at his wrist as the room full of senators quietly murmured behind him. Kylo regarded him silently as he watched the wheels turn in Hux’s mind. For a moment, he saw the cool, calm exterior of Armitage Hux begin to crack under the imperious gaze of the politicians that compassed the room. A finely robed older gentleman strode up smoothly behind the emperor and murmured quietly to him,

“What if it is related to the trouble we’ve been having in the mid and outer rims? We wouldn’t want that to get out. Let her go so we can keep our focus where it matters.”

_Say yes. Say yes. Say yes. Let me get her out of this gilded cage._

Hux pressed his thin lips together and sniffed haughtily, 

“Very well. I leave it to you, I have far more important things to tend to at the moment.”

The tense knot that had been building in Kylo’s core loosened as he let out a soft breath while he walked away. The first step was finished, all they needed now would be to change out their ship and throw the First Order off their scent and he couldn’t wait to tell Stardust that they would soon be on their way. 

 

____________________________

 

Rey paced anxiously back and forth across the soft carpet in her rooms, desperately trying to quell the noise in her mind. Her head had been a buzzing blur since the moment she had inadvertently and violently thrown Kylo across the training room only a few days prior. This thing, whatever it was, both terrified her and exhilarated her and she couldn’t wait to discover more about this new part of herself.

Kylo put the plan into motion right away but kept the details mum. He didn’t want to risk the walls of the palace from hearing and upending the whole thing before they had the chance to start. She tried to busy herself in the time since her husband had given permission to leave, thrilled at the idea of being truly away from her shining prison for the first time. 

Today was the day when they’d finally leave Coruscant and the empress could barley contain her anxious excitement. She had tried in vain to eat breakfast but for once, didn’t have the appetite to eat. She had absentmindedly pushed her breakfast around on her plate for what felt like forever in what was only the span of a few minutes. With the butterflies in her stomach and her head buzzing with possibilities, there was no way in the galaxy she could swallow a bite, let alone a plateful of food.

Gingerly trapping the piece of parchment that was tucked under the now cold cup of caf between her fingers, she tugged it out from under the ceramic mug. Rey gently unfolded the note and raked her eyes across the elegant script,

_Soon. Make sure to not look to excited to leave, keep up with his show. Keep it formal. We don’t want to draw any suspicion._

Rey pressed the cool paper to her lips and closed her eyes with a sigh. Soon. Soon she would be away from the emperor and his cool cruelty. Soon, she would be able to be herself without the pressure of this crown. Soon, she would have the tools to be able to break free of her gilded binders and be free of him forever. 

Her eyes shifted to the stacks of crates full of her things as they were removed by household droids to be taken down to the landing platform outside, 

“It’s almost time…are you ready?”

Rey’s anxious mood melted away as she looked down at the wistful smile of her friend but the butterflies in her stomach lingered, 

“I think so. You’ve outdone yourself by making sure I’m well packed…. maybe a little too well,” Rey laughed. Rose’s eyes crinkled as she met the empress with her own giggle before her dimpled grin melted into a tearful frown. Rose dashed her tears from her cheeks with a shake of her head and a deep breath,

“I’m sorry…I…I just worry that….I just want you to be safe and I won’t be able to help you if I’m not with you.”

Rey circled her arms around her friend and tucked her chin against her dark hair, giving her a reassuring squeeze. Holding Rose at arms length so she could look down into her eyes, Rey smiled brightly,

“I’ll be okay. More than okay. I’m sure it won’t be long.”

“I’ll miss you while you’re away, I am so grateful to have you as my friend. I hope that it can stay that way after…”

“After…after what?” Rey’s brows creased in puzzlement as a warm pink rose to warm Rose’s cheeks while she blundered over her words,

“Oh, uh, if things ever change around here or…I…if things are different when you get back? I’m sorry, I’m nervous about you leaving is all, it makes the ‘doing-talking’ not my forte.”

Rey fondly chuckled as she gave Rose another, lingering squeeze before a deep cough rang out from the doorway. Lifting her eyes to the dark figure that took up nearly the entire frame, she tried to keep her expression regal, yet cool while her body thrummed unexplainably from his nearness. Their connection had been ever present since that day in the training room, a constant hum in the back of her mind that told her he was near. 

“Empress, your transport off-planet is ready.”

Rey pressed her mouth together to quell the smile that threatened to break free across her face as she saw the twinkle that shined through his serious expression that she knew was just for her. 

“Right,” she breathed, “Give me a moment and I’ll be right out. Thank you, Lord Ren.”

“Happy to be of service to you, Majesty,” the dark knight slightly inclined his head in a small bow and tossed her the briefest of winks. Rey couldn’t help it when the corners of her mouth softly upturned into a small smile as she turned away and gathered a waiting white garment from the bedspread. Lifting it over her head, Rey slid her arms through the achingly soft, simmersilk sleeves of the white jacket. The smooth fabric fell to the floor in waves and pooled gracefully at her feet. Rey pulled her long pony tail out from under the collar and reached up to make sure the haloed tiara of moon and stars atop her head was straight. Running her hands down the strapless semi-sheer bodice, she tucked her hands into the silken pockets of her slim cut trousers. Taking a deep breath, she lifted her eyes to meet the burning gaze of the dark knight as he watched her from the doorway. Giving a small wave to her friend, Rey smiled and strode towards the door. 

She lifted her eyes to his for a brief moment while she breezed past him in the doorframe, brushing her shoulder against his ever so softly as she stepped out into the wide hallway. The pair fell into an easy cadence as they made their way to the turbolift, Kylo stepping to the side to allow her to enter the lift first. 

The silence between them was filled only by the quiet whirr of the turbolift engines and the electrifying potency of their connection that made Rey’s head spin with their close proximity. Kylo’s face remained largely impassive as he stared ahead at the durasteel doors. The playful smile that was reserved for her was well hidden away behind a hard line drawn across his face. Rey’s eyes lingered on his perfect lips that were so ripe for kissing that should couldn’t help it when she captured her bottom lip between her teeth before tearing her eyes away.

“Stop it. Keep it formal, remember?”

“Right. Sorry.”

Rey sniffed in a long breath and squared her shoulders. How was he so calm? Her heart quaked as the lift neared their level while her stomach turned in knots. They were so close, they couldn’t afford for any part of the next moment to go wrong. Wringing her hands, Rey nervously fiddled with the delicate golden rings that hugged her fingers until she felt his large hand encompass hers to still her anxiety. His smile etched itself ever so slightly back onto his face for the briefest of moments as the lift came to a halt and the doors slid open,

“Follow my lead.”

Rey’s fingers lingered against his for a moment as she lifted her chin, the guise of the elegant empress coming to the forefront as she stepped out of the doors. The silken white jacket billowed out behind her as she strode down the vast great hall towards the main steps of the palace. Pausing only for a moment, Rey took a deep breath before stepping out into the warm light of Coruscant Prime. Her eyes were immediately drawn to the small party waiting at the bottom of the grand staircase in the shadow of the dark Upsilon-class command shuttle. 

The emperor was dressed in his usual, clean pressed First Order uniform with a pair of golden epaulets glinting in the sunlight. He lifted his cool gaze to her as she descended the stairs, reaching his hand out to her as the corners of his mouth were drawn up into a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. Rey slid her hand into his waiting palm, her jaw instantly clenching at the feeling of his cool skin against hers. 

_Keep up with his charade. Keep up with his charade._

Armitage pulled her in a wide circle to his front as they stood together at the bottom of the loading ramp, the entire party watching carefully as the royal couple made their goodbyes. Kylo strode cooly past them and into the ship without giving any pause. 

Her husband lifted his cool and cupped her cheek in his palm, the feeling of his flesh pressed against hers made Rey’s skin crawl. It took every ounce of willpower to lean into his touch convincingly and flutter her eyelashes closed. Keeping up the charade of a dutiful wife, Rey looked up at him through her lashes and offered a soft smile. 

“Don’t worry. We will find those responsible for the threat so we can have you returned safety home as soon as possible, Flower.”

“Thank you, Armie,” Rey leaned forward and wrapped her arms around her husband’s narrow shoulders and breathed softly into his ear, “Sleep well knowing that I won’t be worried in the slightest since I know that anywhere is safe as long as you’re not there. And when I return, you’ll never touch me again,” she pulled away and lifted his clammy hands to her lips to press a firm kiss to his knuckles as the dual-ion engines thundered to life with a roar. Rey smiled triumphantly, shocked at her boldness, as she boarded the ramp with her white coat fluttering elegantly behind her. She pressed the ‘close’ switch as soon as she reached the top, leaving a stunned emperor in her wake. 

The ramp sealed with a quiet hiss as the empress shucked the shimmersilk from her shoulders, tossing the garment to the black bench that sat at the top of the ramp. Shimmying into the co-pilot’s seat, she was met by a quizzical, sidelong look from Kylo as she reached to help flip switches on the control panel to prepare them for their departure. Rey met his eyes with a smirk and couldn’t help but let out an amused giggle,

“Where to first, Captain?”

Kylo shook his head with a lopsided grin and pulled back on the yolk, sending the shuttle thundering into the bright Coruscant sunlight,

“First thing’s first, we’ve got to stop and see an old friend.”

 

____________________________

 

Kylo absentmindedly ran his knuckles along the soft edge of his jaw as the Upsilon-class command shuttle hurtled through hyperspace. They’d been traveling through the Corellian Trade Spine for the last few hours and had been making good time. He watched the parsecs tick by, waiting for their entry into the Mid Rim to move to their next hyper-point that would take them to their destination. The journey had been quiet, the pair of them settling into an easy, comfortable silence. 

As soon as they had watched the stars stretch as they slingshotted into hyperspace, Rey pulled the ridiculous silver shoes from her feet and tucked herself into the wide co-pilot’s seat at the control panel. Kylo watched her with a smile as she leaned against the the durasteel panel to lookout the red-tinged viewport to the swirling blue-white glow of the hyperspace lane. Feeling his gaze, Rey lifted her eyes to his with a quizzical grin, 

“What is it?”

Kylo hummed softly to himself, wanting nothing more than to tell her every detail of every memory that rolled through his mind but he knew that, like him, it would have to be something for her to discover herself. 

“It’s nothing.”

The dark knight lifted his large frame from his seat and ducked into the back of the crew compartment. Lifting the heavy door of a storage panel, Kylo grasped his long fingers around the soft, yet firm object. He strode back into the cockpit and set the object in her lap and sat back in the captain’s seat with a smile as he watched her face move through a flurry of expressions. First, her brows creased together with mild confusion before melting into a stunned smile. Rolling the object in her hands, she traced her fingers over the emerald green cover before holding it to her chest, her hazel eyes twinkling with tears,

“A book? Where did you find this?”

Kylo shrugged with a lazy smile,

“Oh, you know. I found it laying around.”

_What you mean is I scoured the galaxy for it…found it in the back of a tiny stall in a marketplace on Dantooine._

He didn’t need to tell her how hard books were to come by and what a rarity it was to find one that didn’t only contain the history of the Empire. She didn’t need to know that he’d scoured the galaxy for it and found in tucked away in the back of a tiny stall in an obscure market on Dantooine. He said no matter how far and he meant it. 

Kylo watched her now, her face luminous with the ethereal lavender glow of the blue-white haze of hyperspace filtering through the red transparasteel window with her feet tucked up against the control panel with the book open against her knees. The slight semblance of a smile hovered at the corner of her mouth, just enough to show that she was enjoying her thoughts, whatever they may be, as she read about plant-life from every corner the galaxy. 

Kylo wished he could have more of these quiet moments with her, to have more time to allow him to stay lost in the moment and bask in her glow a little longer. He still couldn’t believe that she was here in front of him, after all this time. Stardust had been everything to him when he was still a kid that when he thought he’d lost her, it was like being lost in a storm without an anchor until the only thing he had to hold on to was his darkness that only pulled him further down into the abyss. 

Finding the scavenger had awakened something inside him that had always been there. It baffled him at first, their connection, but now that he was aware, it all made sense. The Force had connected them from the moment they met. While the string of Fate that joined them had become tangled and stretched while they were apart, they had been steadily pulled back towards each other. 

The storm inside him raged ever on and she was the center, the calm in the eye. She was every reason that was pure and right. She was safety and love, an anchor to hold and tether himself to. 

Kylo couldn’t help but smile as he watched her, lost in the soft upturn of her mouth…mesmerized by the way her stardusted hazel eyes flicked over each word as they held her enraptured and how her rosy pink lips silently made the shape of each word. He was mesmerized by her, it was true. Mesmerized by her tenaciousness and her fire. Bewitched by her strength and her stubbornness, no matter how vexing Kylo could find it to be. Their lives had been brutally turned upside down and never once did she sink into the darkness. His precious Stardust clung to her light, an orb of the brightest fire, and fought for every scrap for her life. She wouldn’t let the darkness break her, like he did to himself. She’d never let it take her true self from her. No, she’d cling to the light with a fight and a passion that only added to her beauty. 

An alarm coming from the control panel blared out and rattled Kylo from the captivating contemplation that seeing his scavenger girl so content had put him in. Focusing on the flips and switches, Kylo took control of the ship and guided it effortless as they shot out of hyperspace above an emerald jewel of a planet. The sound of the dual-ion engines rumbled as the sleek shuttle glided through the thick layer of clouds. The dark knight glanced at Rey with a smile as he witnessed the moment her attention was drawn from her book to the planet’s atmosphere outside the viewport. 

The empress slowly pulled her feet from the control panel and brought herself closer to the transparasteel. Bright rays of light filtered through the viewport, casting an exquisite gleam across her golden, freckled flesh. The ship thundered over a lush, viridescent forest that carpeted the the landscape of the planet’s surface. Enchanted by the sight before her, Rey’s eyes widened and her lips parted as she breathlessly sighed,

“I didn’t know there was this much green in the entire galaxy.”

Kylo smiled to himself as he watched the desert girl’s eyes dart over the vast forest, completely enraptured by the sight of it. If only she knew how green her true home was. 

The forests of Takodana were ancient with trees that were so thick and old that the roots were twisted amongst the rocky hills of the landscape. The Upsilon class shuttle cruised low over the surface of an aquamarine lake, sending a shimmer over the water as the ship glided to the shore. With a flick of his wrist and a pull on the yolk, Kylo retracted the long angular wings into their upright position as the ship came to rest on the soft soil. 

Kylo stood from the captain’s seat and strode to the back of the ship, pressing the release, sending the loading ramp down to the ground with a hiss. Rey stood and followed him expectantly, snagging her white jacket from the bench and sliding her arms through the sleeves with a smile,

“So…what are we doing here?” 

The dark knight paused at the top of the ramp and mashed his lips together into a line and watch as Rey’s face instantly fell,

“I’m staying on the ship…aren’t I?”

“Rey…I…uh…yeah, you are. Not for long, I hope. It’s just…I…this place…” Kylo blundered, scrubbing his gloved hands through his hair anxiously, “It can be…dangerous.”

“Dangerous?” Rey’s brows rose high into her hair as she openly scoffed, “Kylo, it can hardly be more dangerous than any other moment of my life. I think I made it pretty clear that I can handle myself.”

“You’ve barely begun to test your powers and this isn’t the place to find out what you’re capable of. Kanata Castle is a haven for all sorts of characters and you’re….well, you’re you. You don’t exactly scream inconspicuous in that outfit.”

“And you’re conspicuous in yours? All…black…and brooding…and Kylo-y!”

“But no one knows my face…Listen, I knew the person who runs this place but…it’s been a long time. A really long time,” Kylo reached out to brush his thumb across Rey’s cheek but she shirked him away with a sigh, “Rey…I’ve got to talk to her and see if we can find you a safe way in. I’m hoping she’s got a clean ship for us too.”

The empress lifted her chin and gave him the smallest smile, 

“Fine. But don’t think for a second that I’m staying on this kriffing ship all day!”

With a lopsided grin, Kylo swept up her hand and pressed a kiss to the constellation of freckles inside her wrist, closing his eyes as he lingered on the sign that had pointed him home. She was here and he still couldn’t quite believe it. Lifting his eyes to meet hers, his heart gave a jolt as he watched her capture her lip in her teeth with a worried smile,

“Don’t be long.”

“I won’t,” he rumbled, pressing another kiss against her star map before sweeping down the ramp in his long-loping gait. 

Kylo strode through the trees, ducking his tall frame under stray branches and around stone formations. It had been a nearly a lifetime since he had set foot on this planet and he wondered if the proprietor at the castle would even remember his face. 

The looming structure rose up before him as he lumbered through the thick forest floor, looking up to see the light brown stone emerge high above through the filter of the green canopy. As he walked past a towering red droid that shuffled past him, Kylo lifted his eyes to the vast collection of banners and flags that hung high above. The colorful pennants bore symbols of all those who hailed from every corner of the galaxy to find a safe haven at the castle. As he stepped up the stairs leading to a large durasteel door, Kylo heard the echo of a memory of the first time he ever came here,

_“She’s run this watering hole for a thousand years. Maz is a bit of an acquired taste, so let me do the talking. And whatever you do, Ben, don’t stare….”_

Taking a deep breath, Kylo pressed the switch to activate the door and stepped inside. 

The tavern was a hive of activity with patrons of every species imaginable tucked at every surface. The smell of roasted meat wafted through the air from a spit that slowly turned over a fire pit and a small band of musicians played a relaxed melody from the corner. Handfuls of guests were piled around gaming tables around the crowded tavern noisily absorbed in their match. Kylo swore he spotted the same ancient protocol droid he remembered seeing as a kid when he’d visit the tavern with his father. The noise level was high and the smoke level too. The dark knight felt instantly out of place and yet part of the crowd at the same time. He’d barely had enough time to look around when a voice hollered above the chatter of the cantina,

“BEN SOLO!”

The noisy din of the dining hall came to a sudden halt as all the patrons turned to lay their eyes directly on him. Kylo froze and lifted his eyes to the short statured figure at the far side of the tavern who’s goggle-framed eyes bore into him, 

“Hey, Maz…” he lifted his gloved hand and gave a small wave and a lopsided smile. 

Maz Kanata’s guests quickly went back to their various activities while the tiny proprietor wound her way through the dining room to stand at Kylo’s feet. She stood with her thin arms across her grey vest and turquoise shirt, the many bracelets on her wrists clinking as she brought her arms together. Looking up at him through the massive lenses that magnified her brown eyes to large orbs, the wrinkles in her burnt orange skin pressed together as she scowled up at him,

“It’s been a long time. I expect you need something…desperately…” 

With the Pirate Queen standing in front of him, Kylo suddenly felt small. The feeling was foreign to himself and but not unexpected coming from a being who had seen as much as Maz had in her millennia-long life,

“I…uh…yeah…yeah, I do.”

Maz cocked her head to the side and gave him a reluctant smile with a roll of her eyes and a wave of her ring bedazzled hand, 

“Come on, kiddo, let’s get to it,”

She led him to the back of the dining hall and slid her small form into a chair at a small table, patting the chair next to her. Kylo slid into the wooden seat and nervously rubbed the back of his neck with his fingers, pressing his mouth into a thin line as Maz regarded him from across the table. 

“How did you know it was me?”

“Oh, kiddo, I don’t need these goggles to recognize a Solo from across my cantina. The others here may not know who you are but I **know** who you **really** are.”

“I’m not him anymore. He’s been gone a long time.”

“Ben, _U ap-xmasi stupa je._ It’s not too late. Go home.”

“I don’t have a home….not anymore.”

The pirate queen rolled her eyes and sighed,

“I don’t think that’s true. Who’s the girl?”

Kylo tried to keep his face impassive,

“What girl?”

Maz gave him a knowing look. He should have known better than to try and fool her. She had seen everything from the very beginnings of the conflict between the Sith and the Jedi to the rise and fall of the Empire. Force sensitive, Maz could pull the truth from any being or object without trying,

“She’s no one…” he lied. The small woman leaned foreword in her seat and placed her small hand on his forearm,

“You know, they say that the emperor must be the only man in the galaxy not in love with his wife. I’m sure you have your reasons for taking her where you’re going. The only question is…does she know her importance to you?”

“No,” he breathed, “Maz, I can’t tell her.”

“Yes, that seems wise. Better for the Force to reveal it to her when she’s ready, I suppose. But you’re pointing her in the right direction, that’s what’s important. I’ll help you keep hidden, if that’s what you need.”

“I need a ship.”

“I’ve got one. It’s tucked away to the southeast. You’ll know it when you see it. It’s been waiting for you.”

“Thank you,” Kylo smiled, “How’s your boyfriend?”

Maz laughed, the creases around her eyes bending as she grinned,

“Chewie? He’s back on Kashyyyk. He stayed for a while but it was just too much…after…” the old woman’s eyes drifted off to a faraway place. With a slow blink, she brought herself back from the painful memories and gave his arm a squeeze, “Come on, let’s get her off that ship. I’ve got a back way in and some clothes I’m sure will suit her.”

 

__________________________

 

_How did she know?_

Rey looked down at the new clothes that had been set out for her on the small bed in the room Maz had brought her to. The legendary pirate queen had been exceptionally kind to her and Rey was sure that behind her wise eyes, Maz knew much more than what she was letting on. 

Smiling to herself as she pulled the thick fabric of the grey gauntlets over her wrapped arms to her elbow, she felt more like herself than she had in so long. The collar on her grey vest rose high on her neck and the blaster belt hugged the curves on her waist over the ivory cream tunic just so. She pulled the soft-sided boots over her feet and straightened the chain of her necklace so that the crystal hung perfectly in the center of her chest. Running her hands up to her hair, there was only one thing missing.

The empress pulled the moon and stars headpiece from her hair and tossed it onto the pile of white shimmersilk on the small bed frame. Working quickly with her hands, she breathed a happy sigh when the familiar three buns dotted the back of her head, finally feeling complete. 

Rey knew that they didn’t have much time so she gathered up the discarded garments and stepped out the door into the stone hall and tumbled over something orange and white,

“Oi!”

A series of beeps and whistles echoed out as Rey dusted herself off. She looked down at the small Astromech and couldn’t help but smile and the adorable cylindrical droid,

“You know, you should really watch where you’re going. Come here, your antenna’s bent,” she bent down and pulled the small antenna from the top of his domed head, “What’s your big hurry, anyway?”

The little droid answered her with another series of chirps and whistles,

“Classified, really? Me too, big secret,” she grinned with a giggle, “Can you tell me your name at least?”

He looked at her through his black photoreceptor on his domed head, tilting it to the side curiously as if he were judging her trustworthiness before answering her with a handful of beeps and a whistle,

“Nice to meet you BB-8. I’m Rey,” she replaced the antenna in it’s home and patted the little droid on his head, “Good luck on your big, secret mission.”

Rey turned the corner as she watched the Astromech roll away in the opposite, crying out when she collided with a wider, warmer object. Grasping the wide muscular arms of the person she knocked heads with, she rubbed her forehead and grumbled,

“Maker, I think I need a bell…”

“Oh no, I’m sorry, I should have watched where I was going…”

“No really, it’s my fault,” Rey smiled as she looked up into the face of the poor soul she nearly knocked over. She was met by the wide smile of a handsome man with skin the color of warm umber. She watched his eyes melt from a twinkling smile to one of shock and awe in an instant as recognition came over his features,

“Your majesty,” he breathed, “I…I’m sorry…wha? What are you doing here??”

Rey’s stomach dropped to her feet as she grabbed his hand and squeezed,

“Please,” she begged, “No one can no I’m here…”

“Oh, don’t worry, I agree. No one can know you’re here. But this is good. This. Is. GREAT. Come on, Empress, let’s get you back downstairs.” 

Rey followed him down the curving stones steps back to the main hall of the tavern, settling herself in a wide chair tucked into a corner. The stranger she had run into settled into the seat next to her and couldn’t hide his grin. Rey looked at him quizzically,

“What is it?”

His pressed his wide lips together to try and hide it for a moment but couldn’t hold it back for long,

“It’s…I shouldn’t say…”

“You can trust me.”

“That’s exactly it. I know I can but at this point…the less who know…the better. We’ve been after something for a long time, building it piece by piece and seeing you here? You’re the spark that is gonna light the fire, I just know it…”

Rey’s brows creased together as she mulled over his words,

“Who are you?”

“I was no one. Taken by the First Order from a family I’ll never know and raised to do one thing. During my first battle, I made a choice. I wasn’t going to kill for them, so I ran. I ran right into…well, it doesn’t matter who he is, but he looked at me like no one ever did. I was ashamed of what I was but he helped me find myself and find me a way out. We are all doing what we can to break the cycle,” he laughed sadly and shook his head, “I didn’t even have a name and he gave me one…I was FN-2187 my entire life, but with him, I became Finn.”

Rey’s stomach churned as she listened to his story, sitting back in her seat as her heart ached in her chest. Armitage’s stormtrooper program…he had insisted that he was rounding up orphans which was bad enough but learning that he was snatching children from their homes made her skin crawl. She desperately wanted to undo the damage that the emperor had done to the children of the galaxy and would pay whatever price she had to to prevent younglings from having to live a life like that. 

“Finn, I’m so so sorry. If there’s anything I can do…”

“Actually, now that you say that…I may need a favor from you…but first, we’ve gotta get you out of here…if I recognized you, there’s a chance that someone less savory has as well. I’m going to help get things moved to the clean ship Maz had for you so we can get you off-planet as soon as we can,” Finn reached out his hand with a smile. Rey graciously returned it and slid her fingers into his waiting palm, giving his hand a slight squeeze,

“It was nice to meet you, Finn.”

Finn nodded with a smile and turned to walk towards the back of the castle, pausing for a moment to state,

“We are with you, Empress.”

Rey sat back in the chair and absentmindedly pressed her knuckles against her cheek, her thoughts returning to the image in her mind of small children being taken from their homes by the First Order. She was their empress and had been allowing it to happen by doing nothing…the hatred she held for her husband had started small but now burned like a bright flame in the night. She wasn’t sure she could go back to pretending after learning the truth. Why did the children of the galaxy have to pay the price of his evil deeds? If he was abducting children, what other abhorrent things had he been up to?

Rey’s attention was pulled suddenly away by the sound of a crying child filtering through the air around her. Pulling herself from her seat, Rey slowly followed the sound, drawn in by the painful wails. It was the kind of sound that bypassed any sense of logical thinking and went straight to her heart, pulling her like a weight to investigate where it was coming from. 

She followed her feet down the curve of a stone stairwell, going down slowly step by step while the sound cries continued to reverberate across the castle’s stone walls. Stepping off the bottom stair to the floor, Rey lifted her eyes to the end of the long room. The catacombs of the castle were dark and damp, naturally cooler than the rest of the ancient structure from the natural coolant of the soil behind the dense stone walls. Lamps dotted the walls every few feet, filling the dim room with small sections of light. 

The sound of the child crying continued to echo out from the end of the hall and Rey was caught in the trance, wondering how and why a child would be down here. Perhaps they belonged to one of the wayward travelers passing through and had been separated from their family. Rey’s heart ached as she came to the end of the hall and was faced by a narrow durasteel door. Without warning, the door slid open, instantly silencing the sound of the child’s cries.

Rey looked around the room and raked her eyes over the piles of junk that had been tucked away inside, her attention pulled quickly to a small chest sitting just steps away. It was unremarkable in its appearance, made from a dark wood with metal bands bent around it and a latch that was beginning to rust around the edges.

She knelt down to her knees in front of it, lifting the latch and slowly pushing up the lid with a loud creak. Rey peered inside the box and inspected the contents, pressing her brows together into an addled crease. Inside were sections of fabric, bits of jewelry…nothing out of the ordinary except for what laid in the center of the chest. 

A shining lightsaber gleamed from inside, built with a smooth silver finish with vertical black lines circling the pommel, instantly drawing her in. Caught in whatever trance she had been pulled into, Rey lifted her hand and circled her fingers around the hilt.

Suddenly, everything in the room went dark. The lights flashed and suddenly, Rey found herself in a long, dark hall with sharp, angular walls. Rey was rattled by her confusion and in her panic, she began to run down the long hall until the walls began to bend around her while voices began to filter into the air around her.

_Its energy…surrounds us…and binds us…._

Rey landed with a thud in the dirt and lifted her eyes with a gasp. She was in the shadow of a great pyramid that was completely consumed by flames. The sounds of blaster fire echoed through her mind while the embers flittered and floated around her like falling snow. She felt a pull at her waist, realizing that she was being moved to another place, another vision. Before she was yanked away, her eyes were drawn away for an instant to a figure in the distance wielding a lightsaber with a blinding, blue fury.

Another flash, but red this time. The dissonant ripple of Kylo Ren’s lightsaber flickered in the dark. He loomed over her as she laid on the ground, looking up into his faceless mask and couldn’t help but feel afraid…

_The Force will be…_

Rey stood with her boots in the sand, overlooking the burning fireball of a crashed ship. Her ears rang from the sound of the cries coming from the child standing in front of her. Tears coursed down her cheeks as she recognized the telltale trio of buns on the small girl as she cried out at the wreckage as the flames consumed it. 

_“Mama! Mama, no! Come back! Come back!!”_

Every atom of her screamed out in unison as she watched herself cry out for a mother she couldn’t remember. Who was this little girl before this day? What kind of life had she known? Wracking sobs coursed through her body as she fell to her knees and she cried out desolately with the little girl she couldn’t reach…

_Rey? These are your first steps…._

Emotional pain flowed through her as she sat, crumpled in the sand. Crying out in grief for the child in front of her and the life that had been torn from her for herself and the life she couldn’t remember. Lifting her eyes to the little girl, Rey tumbled backwards when the little turned towards her and her gaze met her own.

She landed with a thud on the stone floor of the catacombs, shaken by what she had seen. Hurried footsteps approached her from the end of the room. Rey lifted her eyes and met the worried gaze of Maz Kanata,

“What was that?’ she sobbed, “I shouldn’t have gone in there…”

Maz stepped up to her, her bracelets jangling as she pointed to the room Rey had just tumbled out of,

“That lightsaber was Luke Skywalker’s. And his father’s before him. And now….” Maz’s eyes shone as her ancient, wrinkled face broke into an all-knowing smile, “Now it calls to you.”

“I…I don’t understand….”

Maz gingerly lifted her goggles from her eyes and placed them on her head,

“I know…” Maz stepped closer and held her small hand out to Rey. The empress pulled herself from the floor to her knees so she would be eye to eye with the short statured pirate queen and placed her fingers in her waiting palm, “Dear child. I see your eyes. You already know the truth. It will reveal itself to you when it’s time. Whoever you were waiting for on Jakku was never coming back. But…there’s someone who still could.”

“Kylo.”

“The belonging you seek is not behind you…it is ahead. Now, I am no Jedi, but I know the Force. It moves through us and surrounds every single living thing. Close your eyes, dear. Feel it. The light…it has always been there. It will guide you. The saber. Take it. It will be of great use to you on your journey.”

“Maz, I can’t...”

“You can, and you will. Now come on…no matter how much I’d like to keep you, you can’t stay here any longer than you have to.”

 

_________________________

 

_You’ll know it when you see it. It’s been waiting for you._

Kylo ambled in the direction Maz told him to go, twisting and turning around the trees of the ancient forest. He raked his eyes over the horizon but saw nothing but trees and more trees. The forest was seemingly endless and he began to wonder if he had gone the wrong way or perhaps he was just distracted. 

The thoughts and memories of his father had begun to swirl around him as soon as they broke through the atmosphere. Kylo could still feel his presence here, like a beacon in the night, tethered to this place he loved to frequent so often on his travels. He could feel him still as he wandered somewhat aimlessly through the forest. The trees were tightly-knit, a single thread in the tapestry of life and the Force weaved through every sunlit strand. The balmy scent of soil and water lingered in the air, painting a portrait of serenity that had endured through an endless ebb and flow of conflict and peace through the many millennia. 

Ahead of the dark knight, the forest’s thick blanket of trees began to thin, allowing more of the sunlight to seep through in bright rays. Kylo lifted his gloved hand to block the light from his eyes when he saw it emerge before him through the foliage and suddenly it was like he had seen a ghost. The distinct shape of the convex saucers was unmistakable, with her front facing mandibles, side-mounted cockpit, and it’s rectangular sensor rectenna dish…there was no mistaking it. Kylo stood in the shadow of his father’s prized ship, The Millennium Falcon.

Kylo stood in the ship’s shadow, his eyes grazing over the worn paint and scuffed edges dubiously. Would this old hunk of junk even run?

_She may not look like much, but she’s got it where it counts, kid._

He should have known that this would be the ship Maz would give them. True, it would keep them under cover with the ship’s superior cloaking tech. Yes, it did have best navigation system of any ship in the galaxy, but Kylo knew that the ancient pirate queen had ulterior motives for giving him _this_ ship.

Kylo had loved the ship when he was a little boy, always desperate to go up the boarding ramp with his father and jet off on whatever adventure Han and Chewie were going on. The first time his father let him fly it had been a dream and a day that, as a child, he considered one of the best days of his life.

Over time, Kylo couldn’t help but feel a sense of resentment towards it. As he got older and the crushing hold Snoke held on him became heavier, he began to hate the damned thing and what it represented…The golden years that his father seemed far too keen to re-live but to Kylo’s eyes, it was a picture of how many times he had been tearfully left behind. 

Striding up to the ship, Kylo sighed deeply, feeling completely unprepared for what he’d find inside. 

_Let’s keep a little optimism here._

His father’s words continued to echo in his mind with each passing second and the feeling of his presence stronger than ever before. Reaching up above his head, Kylo’s hand found the release for the hatch easily, like he’d done his whole life. The ramp came down with a hiss and a thunk as the heavy durasteel landed hard on the forest floor. His breath caught in his chest as he felt his fear of the pain rising inside him, fueling the darkness he was trying to quell. Taking a shallow breath, he tried to release the tension as he lifted his heavy black boot onto the ramp, stopping to brace himself against the frame as he was overcome by the pain of the grief he had held back for so long. The last time he had stood on this ramp, he had been a teenager clutching the leather of his father’s jacket in his palm, sobbing into his shirt like a little boy in the moments after he felt the death of his mother. 

_Fear._

_Pain._

_A starship._

_Fire._

_His mother’s face._

_“I love you.”_

_“I know.”_

 

The memories of that night came crashing down on him in an instant, leaving him feel dizzy in the shadow of that painful day. That day when every single thing he held dear was ripped away from him in an instant. He’d been forced to push everything down and bury it where it could add fuel to the dark and make him into a sharper tool for Snoke’s use. It had been all consuming as the pain turned his mind into an icy wasteland where the wind wailed through him and twined bitter coils around his heart so tightly that it had almost stopped beating altogether. Ben Solo had died then, put to rest by the trials Snoke put him through, at least Kylo thought he had. 

Being with Rey and basking in her blinding light ignited something deep within him and since that day, he could feel his true self clawing at the darkness, chipping it away bit by bit and Rey was the one taking away the pieces. 

Kylo took a steadying breath and wiped the hot tears from his cheeks with the back of his leather-clad hand and stepped up the ramp. This was his father’s ship. _His ship._ He would take the lesson Maz was teaching him and use it to forgive his father and to forgive himself. Kylo would do it for her to help honor the vow he made so long ago. 

The dark knight ambled down the curved hall and stopped to hover in the doorway to the cockpit. This was the place he dreamed of being as a kid, a fearless crusader along for the ride as the Falcon slingshotted across the galaxy in impossible ways. The ship that made the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs. 

Curious if the old girl would still work, Kylo reached up and flipped a switch on the inside wall of the cockpit. A wide smile broke out onto his face and the control panels switched on in flashes of white, blue and red as the navicomputer turned over with a glorious hum. Kylo ran his gloved hands along the curved backs of the pilot seats, remembering the first time his father let him sit on his knee to hold the controls as they made planetfall on Coruscant. 

The sunlight filtering through the trees streamed in through the Falcon’s signature circular viewport shined down onto the control panel in shimmering waves. The light glinted off a small, but glimmering surface, capturing the dark knight’s attention. He pulled the black glove from his hand to reach out and pull the object that was hanging from the center of the transparasteel window.

He rolled the smooth metal in his palm and gave it a squeeze with a sad laugh. After everything, Kylo thought that these would have been lost, for certain. Unfolding his fingers, he looked down at a pair of golden dice with a sigh. They had been his father’s lucky charm growing up on Corellia and had won him the Falcon in a heated game of sabaac. Kylo had heard the stories of how Uncle Chewie hung them in the cockpit of the Falcon as a joke and they’d remained there ever since until he had discovered them as a kid. He used to play with the dice while he sat on Han’s knee and would tell anyone who would listen that someday, he’d be a pilot. Just like his dad. 

Kylo hung the dice back up in their home, letting his fingertips linger on the smooth metal before turning to make his way down the curving hall to the back of the ship. Reaching up to his collar, he undid the fasteners to free his heated skin underneath as he ducked into the crew’s quarters. Back in his father’s day, adjustments and “improvements” were made to the ship constantly. So much so that Kylo often had a hard time keeping up. He knew that when his parents met during the Galactic Civil War, that the crew’s quarters held a trio of separate bunks but that changed after his parents were married and the space was converted to hold a double bed and a smaller bunk for little Ben….to his eyes, it was bittersweet to see that not much had changed. Things were just…tidier….than when the ship had been in Han’s possession. He was relieved that the ship hadn’t been left to rot on Yavin IV after the attack. He’d have to thank Uncle Chewie for bringing it back here…one day…

Kylo found himself rummaging through old crates and coming all sorts of old treasures as he heard the sound of footsteps coming up the ramp and a voice holler out,

“Where do you want these crates?”

Maz. She knew exactly what would happen and that he would have no other choice than to want to take his father’s ship on this adventure. Kylo shook his head with a smile and rolled his eyes with a soft chuckle,

“Hold on, I’ll open up the loading doors for you in a minute!” Kylo replied, unsure of how he truly felt in this unexpected new role of Captain of the Millennium Falcon. He was so used to pushing back against the pain but today he’d listen to Maz and listen to the Force. Kylo would welcome it like an old friend and accept the lessons it had to teach him. It would be unbearable and he knew he’d feel weak in the moment but would be stronger for it in the end. He’d push through the darkness to find the light, even if each memory was like a saber to the heart. This was his war. This was the battle where he would earn back his name. 

With a sigh and a silent tear coursing down the scar that bisected his cheek, Kylo fisted a dark blue fabric against his palm. He pulled the black coat and armbands down the smooth muscle of his arms, tossing the heavy dark fabric onto the bed at his knees. Kylo closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He could do this. He’d hold on to the spark. Han’s son was alive. 

Lifting his father’s pocket jacket over his dark hair, Ben slid his arms through the sleeves and settled the shoulders of the garment over his own as his face melted into a lopsided grin.

Ben Solo was alive. 

 

The momentary lift Ben felt was short-lived as the telltale whine of TIE fighters echoed through the ancient Takodana forests outside.

“Kriffing hell, this is not how I thought this day was gonna go…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you THANK YOU for your patience this last month or so while I put my brain back together. I cannot express just how much the love I receive for this fic. It is SO dear to my heart that every comment, bookmark, and kudos makes me feel like a kid on Christmas morning. 
> 
> PS-Back to the amazing LostInQueue....not only is she a fic writer, but she’s also an incredible artist who made a Star Wars me!!! I may have cried a little...that’s a lie...it was a lot. Thank you so much, Sprinkles!!!
> 
> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/144005946@N02/32583652517/in/dateposted-public/)


	12. Teach Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey braced herself against the smooth stone, looking up to meet Maz’s eye. At first, neither of them moved as they tried to make sense of what happening. The walls shuddered again, sending fine grains of dust raining down on them. The noise of the quaking castle reverberated like thunder only louder as they both came to a realization of what was happening. 
> 
> “Those beasts. They’re here.”

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/144005946@N02/33649182008/in/dateposted-public/)

 

Rey followed the ancient pirate queen up the curved stone staircase from the the castle’s catacombs when suddenly the stones surrounding them shook violently. Rey braced herself against the smooth stone, looking up to meet Maz’s eye. At first, neither of them moved as they tried to make sense of what happening. The walls shuddered again, sending fine grains of dust raining down on them. The noise of the quaking castle reverberated like thunder only louder as they both came to a realization of what was happening. 

“Those beasts. They’re here.”

The tiny woman fumed, waving Rey to speed up as they ran the rest of the way up the stairs. Finn ran around the corner, nearly colliding them. Sweat glistened across his dark brow as he struggled to catch his breath,

“Maz. The First Order. They found us.”

“I know. Rey and BB-8, get them out of here,” the ancient one commanded, reaching up to grasp Rey’s shoulder, “They can’t find you here. Go, **now**.”

Rey reached down to wrap her arms around the wise woman, giving her a firm squeeze,

“Thank you. Thank you for helping us.”

Maz patted her on the back and gently pushed her away,

“I would do anything for that boy, he’s like family to me. Good luck, Rey. Now GO,” the pirate queen pulled a blaster from her hip and took off running towards the front of the tavern as the castle lurched above them again. Unexpected, Rey felt a warm hand clamp around her own. She looked down at her fingers surrounded by Finn’s and back up at him incredulously,

“What are you doing?”

He gave her a tug and took off down the back hall at the rear of the tavern, pulling Rey behind him,

“Come on, we gotta move before this thing comes down on top of us!”

“I know how to run without you holding my hand!” Rey wrenched her fingers out of his grip and took off ahead of him, bending and ducking the debris that was beginning to fall from the cracks forming in the castle’s walls. The pair of them cantered down a set of stairs leading out to the sun-warmed soil outside when a sudden blast sent them both careening into the dirt with a hard thud. The wind sufficiently knocked out of her, Rey coughed as she lifted her cheek from the ground to see a pair of TIE fighters make a wide track around the circumference of the turquoise lake. It would only be a matter of time before they came back around for another strike. Rey saw a motionless Finn laying in the dirt a few feet from her. Fueled by her adrenaline, she skirted towards him and shook his chest,

“Hey. Hey. Finn, wake up!”

He blinked his eyes rapidly with a cough and sat up with a grimace before rapidly turning his gaze to her with a worried look in his eye,

“Are you okay?”

Rey’s brows creased together skeptically as she frowned,

“Um. Yeah,” she stood and held out her hand to the former stormtrooper. He looked down at her proffered hand for a split second before grasping her wrist, letting the empress pull him from the dirt.

“The ship’s that way,” the pair of them exclaimed at the same time. Finn tilted his head to the side and regarded her with a baffled look on his face.

“I thought you hadn’t been on it yet.”

“I haven’t.”

“Then how do you-“

“I just know, okay?”

Finn threw his hands up in the air in a playful surrender, 

“Okay, majesty…I got it.”

“Good,” the corners of Rey’s mouth tilted up into a mischievous smile, “Let’s go, shall we? Before the First Order brings the castle down on our heads,” she took off at a breakneck pace, zigzagging her way through the trees as the TIEs approached the castle for another firing round. The green bolts from the laser cannons thundered through the air and pummeled the castle, leading into the forest where Rey and Finn were trying to make their escape, 

“They’re shooting at us!”

“They probably saw you with me, now you’re marked.”

“Why would the First Order care about you?” 

“I…uh…have been dabbling in things that they aren’t exactly pleased about…I’m sorry I got you mixed up in it, empress.”

“Well, thanks for that!” Rey shouted out at him as she easily vaulted her way up a rocky hill in her path. The hill gave her an extra advantage, drawing her eye to the ship tucked away in a distant clearing. She smiled as she felt Kylo’s presence inside the ship, anxiously pacing about while he awaited her arrival. Rey wasn’t sure of what other sorts of things she’d be able to do with this newfound power of hers, but it had its perks already. 

Sliding down the rocky surface using her free hand to balance her decent, Rey hurtled over a fallen tree while the bracken and brambles scratched and cut her bare calves. She couldn’t be bothered with the sting, she was so caught up in the exhilaration of the chase with her adrenaline pumping deliciously through her veins.   
Her feet threatened to slide out from under her as she pushed herself up into the open clearing where the ship sat waiting. She took stock of the exterior of the ship, scrutinizing the beaten and worn exterior of the convex-saucer ship. It looked to her like a YT-1300 light freighter, nothing special truly, with all sorts of odd adjustments made in every spot she looked,

“ _This_ is our ship? What a piece of junk!”

Kylo thundered down the open loading ramp, pulling a rag through his grease-stained fingers. The corners of his mouth curved up as he took in her bedraggled appearance, surely covered in dirt from the wallop they’d taken during the rush to get away from the castle. The whine of the TIEs still lingered in the air above them and Rey knew they wouldn’t have much time,

“She’ll make it point-five past light speed. The original owner of this did a lot of special modifications himself, it’ll outrun anything.

Rey pursed her lips as she scanned the ship once more with a sigh. She could feel his sincerity and a cavalcade of other emotions that mystified her. Lifting her eyes to meet his expectant gaze and exasperated smile, she squinted up at the heap of junk and shrugged,

“The garbage will do, I suppose.”

“Listen, Cupcake, we’re a little rushed on time…so if you could just get on board, we’ll get outta here…” she grazed her eyes over him with a smile, taking stock of the missing black overcoat and armbands that had been replaced by a dark blue pocket jacket that hugged the swell of his arms deliciously. The jacket hung open and allowed her a glimpse of his fair skin under his black undershirt, 

“Rey! My eyes are up here, sweetheart. Ditch the spare, let’s get off this rock!” Kylo bellowed, suddenly pulling a blaster from his belt to fire at something behind their heads. Rey and Finn turned behind them in time to spot the pair of armed stormtroopers as they fell to the ground. The Empress turned to her new companion, her eyes wild from the exhilarating turn their day had taken,

“Finn, come with us. We can help you…”

The former stormtrooper smiled and shook his head,

“I appreciate the offer, but there are a few things I’ve got to take care of first. Take BB-8 with you back to the palace. Get him to Poe Dameron, he’ll know what to do.”

“I know him, I promise I’ll get him safely delivered. Take care of yourself, Finn,” she wrapped her arms around him and gave him a squeeze, 

“We’ll see each other again, I’m sure of it,” Finn smiled as he returned her embrace, “You’re the spark, I know it. Get going empress, we’ll try and buy you some time!” 

Rey gave him a stern nod, turning to run up the ramp with BB-8 hot on her heels. Kylo stood at the top of the ramp, leaning against the rounded main passage at the entrance of the ship with a deep frown etched into his sharp features,

“What’s with all the hugging?” Rey lifted an eyebrow and looked up at him with a confused look in her eye. The corner of his mouth lifted with a twitch and suddenly, Rey was certain that Kylo was fighting back a smile. He took a solid step forward and circled his arm around her waist, pulling her sharply against his chest and pressing a swift, but warm, kiss to her lips. Rey’s eyes fluttered closed in an instant, her body sent into a humming spiral at the sudden, delicious contact,

“Cockpit is up there, she’s all ready to go. I’m going to take the gunner position, think you can get us out of here while I give you some cover?” his face lifted into a lopsided smile as she looked up at him with a glint in her eye,

“You want me to pilot this hunk of junk?”

“Ah, well, you always loved this thing more than I did, it feels like the right thing to do,” he shrugged, turning her by her shoulders to push her down in the direction of the cockpit, “Come on, time’s wasting, let’s get a move on!” 

Rey pulled herself from the slight daze Kylo had put her in and sprinted up the short hall to the side-mounted cockpit. Throwing herself into the pilot’s chair, she began to flip switches and pull toggles like it was muscle memory. She lifted a headset from her left and nestled it over her head with a deep breath,

“I can do this. I can do this.”

“Don’t worry, kid. Just fly her like you’ve been doing it since you were a kid,” Kylo voice rumbled into her ear from the headset, instantly helping to calm her overexcited nerves. Pressing the throttle forward, Rey pulled back on the yoke, lifting the ship in a slow, horizontal circle from the clearing it had been nestled in. As soon as they were clear of the trees, Rey saw the group of five TIEs rapidly making their approach. 

The TIEs instantly set their targets on the freighter, firing their laser cannons at them repeatedly. Rey pressed the throttle to full tilt, sending her flying back in her seat at the ship shot ahead in a thundering blur. From the half-moon transparasteel viewport, Rey saw Maz Kanata’s castle crumble as the TIEs pelted it with relentless cannon fire. She knew that they had their own fighters on their tail but she was desperate to spare any more casualties at Maz’s castle. The ship lurched and quaked as they took fire from the trio of TIEs that were following close behind,

“Are you ever going to fire back??” Rey shot out into her headset.

“I’m working on it! Have you got the shields up?”

_Kriff. The shields._

Rey searched across the control panel, looking for the right switch when saw it just out of reach from her position. She stretched her long fingers out as she could with a grunt, barely able to reach the metal toggle,

“Not so easy without a co-pilot!”

“Yeah, try sitting in this thing…”

She’d have to find out what he meant another time, but right now, they needed to do what they could to help Maz,

“Kylo, we need to draw the fighters away from the castle, get ready!”

“Get ready? Get ready for what? Rey??”

_This had better work…._

Rey twisted the yolk hard to starboard, sending them careening back towards the castle. The freighter pitched and rolled as they made a low pass over the castle and Kylo fired off a handful of shots from the quad laser cannons, picking off one of the fighters in the process,

“Stay low, it confuses their tracking!” Kylo bellowed into her ear. 

Rey took a deep breath, centering herself deeply into focus,

“BB-8, hold on! We’re going low!” 

The little droid, who had been haphazardly rolling around in the main cabin answered back with a panicked series of whoops and whistles as the scavenger slingshotted back around over the lake, careening over the water on the edge of the port side. The sublight engines roared as they went barreling over the surface, sending sheets of the turquoise waters blasting up around them in waves. Rey pulled back on the yolk as they shot over the tree-carpeted hills, shooting them up and over the mammoth hills rising from the planet’s surface. The TIEs followed close behind, dodging the blaster-cannon bolts that Kylo continued to fire back at them.

“Rey, I can’t pick them off, you gotta lose ‘em!”

Rey scanned her eyes over the horizon, searching for a way to shake the fighters from their tail, finding their path in an instant. Pulling hard on the yolk, she sent the ship hurtling up into the sky before bending their path back down to the surface. The empress tilted the ship hard onto its side, taking them into a narrow ravine. 

_This ought to lose them…eventually…I hope…_

“Are we really doing this?”

Rey ignored the rumbling voice in her ear, pulling the veering the ship from side to side around rock formations as the TIEs tried in vain to pelt them with their laser-cannon fire. The sides of the ravine began to close in, getting too tight for the YT freighter to fit any longer. Reluctantly, Rey sharply veered out of the narrow canyon and into the sky, sending one of the remaining TIEs into the stone façade in a ball of fire. 

Kylo successfully picked off one more fighter but two remained on their tail, relentless in their pursuit,

“Rey, watch the thrust, we need to get out of here and we’re going to do it at light speed.”

“Are you serious? Is that even possible?”

“You’re not supposed to ask that question until after we’ve done it. Angle the shield, let’s get out of here. These guys aren’t getting off my tail. Wait…what?”

“What, what? Kylo??”

“You’re never going to believe this…” the dark knight murmured incredulously.

“Never believe what?”

“Coming up on you now, look right.”

Rey lifted her eyes out of the tranparasteel viewport and came face to face with a TIE coming straight at her. She briefly spied the pilot from inside the cockpit, giving a salute to the corner of their black flight helmet before careening over the top of the ship in a flash,

“What was that?” Rey murmured, completely mystified, waiting for Kylo’s voice to answer in her headset,

“He took out the last TIE. Who knew that rogue fighter pilots were a thing in the First Order,” a voice rumbled out from behind her, startling her and making her jump. He gave her reaction a short-lived chuckle as he leaned against the doorframe to the cockpit, “It looks like your husband has more to worry about than he thinks he does…”

“I’d rather not talk about him if that’s alright with you…”

“We might have to now that we’ve got this thing tagging along with us. I hope your friend is okay with delayed delivery,” the dark knight lifted an eyebrow and pressed his mouth together with a nod towards BB-8 who wobbled back and forth at his black boots, “Move ball.”

“Finn said that he needed to get back to Poe Dameron, he didn’t say when. I assume he knew that we wouldn’t be going back to the palace right away.”

An odd looked flittered across Kylo’s features for a split second, sending his prominent brows together in a tight crease,

“Poe Dameron? …he’s at the palace?”

“Do you know him?”

“The name sounds vaguely familiar…the question is…how…how do you know him?”

The empress nonchalantly shrugged as she reached up to flip a handful of toggles and prime the hyperdrive as she steered them out of the atmosphere,

“It isn’t that exciting of a story, really. I met him by chance and we got to talking.”

Kylo swallowed thickly, his stomach turning sour with the apprehension of the possibility of what she may have heard or learned. Had Poe recognized her? Surely not, it took Kylo long enough to figure it out…there was no way that Dameron would have realized it,

“Talking? Talking about what?”

“Jakku mostly. Tinkering. And the world he’s from…Yavin I think? He describes it so beautifully, Kylo, I swear it makes me feel like I’ve been there before.”

That’s because you have.

“Yavin IV, actually.”

“Yes, right. Yavin IV. Speaking of planets,” she swiveled in her seat, resting her elbows on the durasteel panel separating their seats, “Where to next?”

From his seat, Kylo plugged in the coordinates of their destination with a smile,

“You’ve been there before. I promise things will be less…chaotic this time.”

“Hmmm, I’m beginning to think that the chaos follows us around, Kylo…”

He gave a deep, rumbling chuckle, reaching to the panel to prime the hyperdrive,

“You might be right. You ready?”

“I’ve never been more ready.”

“Punch it!”

The pair placed their hands side-by-side on the throttle levels, pushing them forward simultaneously and lifted their eyes to watch the stars stretch out as they throttled into hyperspace.

 

________________________

 

With the Falcon at their disposal, only a few hours had gone by before Rey and Kylo made planet-fall at Ahch-to. While Takodana was a green jewel shining amongst the stars, Ahch-to was a deep blue. From their vantage point outside of the atmosphere, it appeared to be a world of nothing but cerulean oceans orbiting twin stars. As they thundered through the thin layer of clouds, Rey was taken aback by the moonlight glittering off the surface of an endless sea with only a handful of rocky islands freckling the planet’s watery surface. 

The bright beams of moonlight lit their way as the Falcon throttled over the water with a low grumble. Rey brought the ship to land on a flat surface near the base of the island. Kylo offered her a small smile before pushing his large frame out of the co-pilot’s seat. Rey sat back in her chair with a soft hum, taking a deep breath to quiet the excited hum in her heart. What a thrill it was to be back here, back to the place when so many things changed for them. Lifting herself from her seat, Rey ducked out of the doorframe and into the main hold to gather some supplies. She tucked a small bedroll and a blanket under her arm and ventured back down to the loading ramp and out into the cool, nighttime air. 

The pale moonlight was a fathomless abyss above them, diminishing the inky blackness of the night, but not so bright that it dulled the shining stars that speckled and glimmered in the heavens above them. The light shone like a searchlight for Rey, illuminating the endless stone steps as she climbed to the bluff where their stone hut sat. 

Standing in the doorway of the hut, Rey could feel the memories linger in the space, instantly transporting her back to the moment when Kylo skillfully knitted her bare flesh back together and then to the thrilling moments afterward when their lips met for the first time in a fiery kiss that Rey thought could only exist in her dreams. 

She couldn’t help but wonder as she captured her bottom lip between her teeth, what would have happened if she hadn’t pushed him away and tearfully drawn the line in the sand that had, at least for the most part, kept them apart. If it wasn’t for her damn skewed sense of honor to the vows she made to her bastard of a husband, who knows what her life may have been like the last few weeks? It seemed unfair that no matter how much she strived to be good, to be the woman her conscious demand her to be, fate was ceaseless in taunting her with the undeniable temptation that Kylo continued to be. Rey had tried to push it down, tried to keep it at bay, but like an unforgiving specter, the feeling would be back again tomorrow to haunt her all over again. 

Rey ambled down the stony steps back to the Falcon where Kylo had started a roaring fire. She watched him with amusement as he tried to set down a large crate to use as a seat, struggling with some of the local wildlife as they continuously got underfoot. The little stout, feathered creatures burbled and squeaked around Kylo’s shiny, dark boots, hyper-curious of the new individual who had come to their island. 

“Get out of my way, you kriffing fluffy pieces of poodoo…” the dark knight became increasingly frustrated as they flocked to him, tapping the toes of his boots with their orangey, webbed feet. He lifted his gaze to hers in a silent plea for help that only caused Rey to giggle mercilessly into her hand. Kylo’s eye twitched as he pressed his mouth into a thin line as his frustrations began to overflow while the tiny little creatures continued to flock to him. The poor man couldn’t take much more, releasing a loud roar into the night air, sending the tiny winged creatures skittering away.

Kylo silently seethed when he finally was able to set the crate down onto the damp stone ground when he slowly lifted his eyes to meet the wide-eyed gaze of the brazen avian who seemed to be immune to the dark knight’s outburst,

“Go. Move, bird.”

The fluffy little creature continued to stare up at Kylo, letting out a chorus of chirps and whistles. Kylo took a deep breath and pursed his lips, swinging his foot to connect with the little creature, vaulting it into the air with a wail,

“Oi! Don’t do that!” Rey exclaimed, lifting her hands into the air to catch the poor creature in her arms. The feathered thing chirped in thanks and nestled itself into the crook of her arm as she gently stroked its soft feathers,

“We are eating that thing for dinner,” Kylo groused.

“We will do no such thing! It’s precious…”

“It’s annoying.”

“The same could be said for you sometimes…”

“We aren’t keeping it.”

“Who said anything about ‘we’? I am keeping him. I read about these in the book you gave me…they’re called Porgs! Don’t you worry… Porgkins and I will be very happy together, thank you very much.”

Rey sat down in front of the fire and settled her back against the crate, running her fingers down the little porg’s belly as it crooned adorably,

“It’s so peaceful here, so quiet after getting used to the sounds of the speeders on Coruscant.”

Kylo slid down to the ground beside her and nestled his broad shoulder against hers,

“It’s a nice change of scenery,” he hummed. 

“It was quiet like this on Jakku, but different. We didn’t have porgs or the sea but it was nice all the same.”

Kylo leaned forward and lifted a questioning brow, 

“You’re saying that sand-trap was _nice_?”

Rey presses her lips together thoughtfully with a sigh,

“Well…no. I’m not saying I’d want to go back there or anything. It was a hard life, but it had some moments of peace scattered amongst all the hardship. I still remember my first night there…I can barely remember how I got there but finding that walker…it saved my life. I was so scared, so alone…there was a sandstorm that was terrifying but when it stopped it was quiet like this,” Rey hesitated for a moment while she sniffed back her growing tears as she remembered that lost, lonely little girl, “I heard…I heard a voice. It whispered to me on those quiet nights when I was at my most scared…my most lonely…it told me that it would always be with me and that it would find me one day. I believed it for a long time until one day, it stopped. That’s when I truly felt alone.”

Kylo stiffened beside her as she continued her story. She’d never spoken about it to him before and now that the dam was broken, she couldn’t stop herself from letting it spill over,

“I didn’t understand it then but now that I know I have this…this ability…what if the voice…this person…what if they’re to key to my past. I can’t help but wonder if they were important to me, somehow…Kylo, I’ve been so desperate to understand who I am and where I came from. I can’t help but wonder who they are…”

The dark knight sat silently beside her, his gaze trapped in the flickering dance of the flames at their feet. Rey gave him a sidelong glance, addled by the way his face had darkened so abruptly. She gently nudged his shoulder with her own, effectively pulling his attention back to her,

“Kylo, what is it?”

He mashed his mouth together in a thin line as he let out a shaky breath,

“It’s nothing,” he swiftly pulled himself to his feet and looked out to the darkened horizon, “Your first lesson is tomorrow at dawn. Get some rest, majesty.” 

 

__________________

 

Dawn came swiftly the next morning, sending glimmering beams of light over the dark churning waters surrounding the island, covering the land in a warm golden hue. The early morning rays streamed in through the cracks of the stone hut, drawing Rey from her uneasy sleep. She raised her fingers to her face to rub the sleep from her eyes, disturbing the still-peacefully sleeping porg that was tucked against her side. Carefully rising to her feet as to not disturb the adorably sleepy avian, Rey slipped her grey vest over her shoulders and stepped out the door into the light of the twin suns.

Kylo was already waiting for her, standing still on the edge of the bluff with his feet apart and hands clasped behind his back. Rey blinked in the suns’ bright rays that illuminated the dark knight like a halo, letting the moment sink in and soothe her to her core. She still didn’t understand why he had left her side so abruptly the night before, but at her core, she trusted him implicitly…she was sure he has his reasons. 

The beams of light touched her skin and filled her with a dazzling warmth down to her toes, giving her the feeling that a new beginning was on the horizon. Her world was now full of so many possibilities…so much hope and today was just the start,

“You’re late.”

“I…uh…you said dawn.”

“That your lesson was at dawn, yes. I’ve been waiting here for you for some time. Let’s go, we’ve got quite a climb ahead of us,” Kylo turned on his heel, barely making eye contact with her, and began to march up the seemingly endless flight of stairs. 

Rey lost count as they continued to climb until they came to the base of the rocky peak of the island. She followed Kylo through a deep crag in the stone façade and nearly lost her breath when they found themselves in a cavernous room. Streams of sunlight fell through another gap in the stone, filling the space with a warm, inviting light. 

Kylo stopped abruptly in the center of the enormous room, turning on his heel to face her,

“Push me.”

Rey’s eyes narrowed as she mulled his words over in her head. Glancing up at him with a raised brow, she lifted her hands and pushed on his broad chest. The hard planes of muscle underneath the black undershirt were firm and unyielding as Kylo looked down at her like she was as vexing to him as the porg horde,

“No. _Push me_.”

Her confidence in the new beginnings and possibilities began to dwindle as Rey was sucked down into a vat of self-doubt. Kylo had said that other force-sensitives like them were trained from an early age…she was a grown woman. How could she possibly begin to catch up to his level?

“I can’t. I don’t know how I did it the first time.”

“Try.”

Rey paced the stone room, her footfalls echoing up to the top of the chamber, desperately trying to center herself and pull from the font of power that was somewhere deep inside her. Lifting her eyes to her target, she raised her palm towards him and pushed at the air forcefully.

Nothing.

She tried to hide her disappointment as Kylo ambled over to her in his long-loping gait. He lowered his head to meet her eyes, lifting his hand to point directly to the center of her forehead,

“You’re using too much of this,” he lifted his touch from her face and lowered his hand to place his oversized palm to the bare flesh over her heart, “and not enough of this. Come on, let’s try something else.”

He walked to the far opening in the cavern, motioning for her to join him,

“Sit here, legs crossed,” he directed her to a large stone sitting on a wide open ledge. Rey did as he instructed, settling herself in the center of the rock and tucking her feet under her knees with her palms facing the sky.

“Now what?”

“Close your eyes. Reach out. What do you feel?”

Rey took a slow, steady deep breath, drawing the warmth of the sunlight into her center as she tried to do what he asked of her,

“Nothing.”

“Rey, you’re still holding on. Let go,” he took her hand from her knee and pressed her fingers to the stone beside her, “Breathe. Just breathe. Reach out with your feelings.”

Rey settled herself down into the stone a squared her shoulders. Taking in a long, slow deep breath, she set her focus on the hum of the power inside her, clearing her mind of everything else. This was the moment when she needed to let everything go…Kylo, Armitage…her past. They were distractions that were preventing her from reaching her full potential. Suddenly, the weight of her emotions lifted, making her body thrum from her toes down to the ends of her hair. The corner of her mouth lifted as every ounce of her being buzzed with the feeling. It felt like her senses liquified and furled out to cover the island like a blanket. 

Rey felt awake like she had never been before, completely present in this moment and every moment happening simultaneously around her. She could feel the energy moving around her, through her, connecting every living thing with delicate ribbons of light.

“What do you see?”

“The island,” she breathlessly murmured, “Life.”

The feeling passing between every living thing was electric, humming around her like a melody that only her heart could hear. Rey could feel each blade of grass bending and moving in the wind and she with them. The bonds were unbreakable, only curving and moving to sing the song of life in a different key. 

The song swirled around her, showing her flashes of images as she explored the island with her mind. Flowers blooming in the bright sunlight, the rotting remains of life that had lived here once before, giving the soil valued nutrients for everything else to grow.

“Death and decay…that feeds new life.”

The twin suns fill her and the island with a life-giving radiance, feeding the delicious thrum coursing through her body. It was balanced by the cold churning waters crashing over the jagged edge of the ancient island.

“Warmth. Cold….Peace. Violence.” 

She could feel Kylo too amongst the buzz of life around her, brimming with what felt like pride, hunger, and what felt like an endless pit of guilt. His presence came closer as she felt his hum rumble deep within his chest,

“Between it all?”

“Balance. And energy. A Force.”

“And inside you?” Kylo breathed into her ear. Rey couldn’t help but smile as she finally understood,

“That same force.”

“Mmm, excellent. I think that is enough for now.”  
Rey’s brows creased together as she was drawn to something else, calling her with a tempting set of metaphorical vines that wrapped themselves around her wrists, inviting her closer,

“Wait. There’s something else beneath the island. A place. A dark place.”

“Balance. Powerful light, powerful dark.”

“Kylo, it’s so cold. It’s calling me…” she felt the darkness encompass her, kissing her skin seductively as it whispered thrilling temptations in her ear. She followed it down down down to a dark pit, drawing her further in and offering her tempting answers to her silent pleas. 

The ground beneath their feet began to tremble as it pulled her further in and Kylo was powerless to stop it. He didn’t have any idea that she encompassed this much raw power inside her and the thought of her blinding light being drowned by the darkness terrified him. 

“Resist it. Rey? Rey!” 

Kylo knelt in front of her, grasping her shoulders with his long fingers and giving her a hard shake but it was no use. She had been dragged down by the temptation of the darkness while it tried to make her its pawn. He continued his desperate cries to her, trying over and over to pull her from her spell. Rey’s golden freckled skin went white like she had been painted…even the rosy hue of her lips faded to nothing. Kylo watched with alarm as her body wavered before she fell forward like a puppet that was suddenly cut free from its strings. 

With a grunt, Kylo caught her unexpected toppling form in his arms and fell to the ground to cushion her fall. He held her limp body close to his chest, reaching up his bare hand to gently push a loose ribbon of her chestnut hair from her face. His heart ached while he gazed down at her, his guilt eating at him as he couldn’t help but think of all the time lost to them and his broken promise to her as a little girl. It soured his stomach the night before when Rey so casually spoke of her first memories on Jakku and the voice that called out to her at night. His voice. 

No matter how badly he wanted to, he couldn’t undo what had happened. He couldn’t take away the loneliness she felt when he had abandoned her as Kylo took over where Ben used to be. 

Kylo pressed her limp form against his chest, cradling her to him as he nuzzled his long nose into her hair. He hoped that one day he would be able to make it up to her, to make up for the time that was taken from them, but he’d never be cleansed the guilt he wrestled with. It would stay with him forever, like an ugly scar, a stain on his soul.

Rey shifted in his arms with a soft whine. Kylo pulled her away from him ever so little so he could look upon her face as she woke. His nose nearly brushing hers, his face melted into a smile as her stardust-flecked eyes fluttered open beneath her dark lashes. Her face melted into an easy smile as recognition dawned over her with a hum,

“Hi.”

“Hey.”

“Wass, wha? What happened?” Rey mumbled, appearing to be still caught in a thick fog,

“You dove a little too deep, Stardust. You had me worried there for a second,” he murmured, reaching up to trace soft circles on her cheek with his thumb,

“ ‘m okay,” she grinned lazily, bending her head back to get a better look at him with a crease in her brow. She slowly reached up and traced a line down the scar bisecting his cheek with her fingertip with a sigh, sending a shiver down his spine, “What a terrible burden…to carry a mark of your darkest day...”

Kylo’s stomach dropped abruptly, her words leaving him reeling. She had already drifted back into her state of unconsciousness, none the wiser of the weight of her words. He stood with her cradled against his chest, making his way back through the ancient Jedi temple to the stairs leading down below. 

 

______________

 

Ben woke suddenly, sitting up so quickly that he hit his head on the top of the low bunk in the Falcon. He swore darkly and rubbed the sore spot in his hair as he gathered his thoughts. Taking in the light seeping in from the hall, he knew without a doubt that he had already slept for too long. He could already feel that Rey was already awake and begun her day.

He dressed in a fraction of the time it normally would take him, pausing to run his fingers haphazardly through his long dark waves in the ‘fresher and rub his palm against the growing facial hair on his face. Being away from the formalities of the palace had been an interesting change of pace without the pomp and circumstance of that life tethering them down.

Ben ambled down the long ramp of the Falcon, pushing the stray porg out of the way with his toe. The blasted little creatures still hadn’t given up their fascination with his boots and couldn’t care less about his dark demeanor. The little one Rey had adopted, Porgkins, was the worst of them all, completely relentless in his pursuit to always be underfoot. 

The dark knight climbed the never-ending set of stairs to the bluff where the handful of huts sat nestled in the ledge, turning down a different path to the other side of the island where he heard the telltale hum of a lightsaber filtering over the rocky landscape with the wind. Ben came over the peak and marched partway down the stairs, pausing to stand with his arms crossed over his chest while he watched her. 

Rey moved with a grace akin to dancing, slicing the glowing blue saber through the air. She switched easily between wielding the blade with one hand or two, moving elegantly with each thrust and parry. Ben had been stunned when the empress had pulled his family’s legacy lightsaber from her bag, having only heard stories of the blue blade from when he was a child and how it had been lost on Bespin, along with his uncle’s hand at the hand of his grandfather before he turned back to the light. 

He should have been more surprised how well the kyber crystal inside adapted to her, how easily the saber became an extension of her. A Jedi’s blade was something special, something personal and he knew that Rey’s blinding light and raw power made it easier for her to align herself with this blade. 

He watched her now, moving with an absurd amount of skill for someone who had barely held a lightsaber before. It was like she was in a natural state of being, completely in-tune with the Force, channeling it through her as a conduit between her and the elegant weapon. 

A smile crept onto his face and his heart grew thick with a tenderness that he couldn’t help but make him breathe a little more measured, a little deeper, a little more contentedly. Ben could feel the flickering flame of light inside him grow more and more with each passing day, and it was all because of her. It was true that the darkness still leeched the light away, a constant battle as the past continued to claw at him. Darkness that fed on his remorse of leaving her behind…his guilt for loving her when he continuously felt at odds with it.

He’d always loved her in a way, his best friend and anchor to the light from the first moment he held her in his arms when he was still a small boy. The darkness called to him, even then, and his love for her helped him to push it back and hold onto the light a little longer. 

Things were…different now. Different than the relationship he had with her when they were still children. They built things anew when he found her on Jakku, back when her significance and their electrifying connection was still a perplexing mystery. His discovery that she was his light only added fuel to the flames. Ben battled with the idea of this new kind of love for the person who was the little girl at the center of his memories. He couldn’t help but want to be with her after everything they’d gone through together since their first meeting in Niima Outpost…but should he?

Ben thought she had been an exemplary student in the short time since they had arrived on the island, learning to channel her raw power at a dizzying pace. They’d been so busy training, trying to fit in as much as they could before they were forced to return to the palace, that they hadn’t had time to explore or discuss anything else. There was no room in their days to even think about crossing that line again.

Yet here he was, watching her lithe body as she moved, golden skin gleaming like a polished stone with sheens of sweat as she worked through each form. Ben tilted his head to the side as she suddenly stilled as if she were listening to something on the wind. Rey gave the saber a slow spin in the palm of her hand before retracting the blade with a sharp hiss and turning to look past his head on the horizon.

The empress breezed past him up the stairs with her brows creased, deep in thought. Befuddled by her behavior, Ben jogged after her,

“Rey, what is-“

“Shh!” Rey held up her hand to silence him, closing her eyes as the wind swept over the island, causing the loose strands of chestnut hair to caress her face in the breeze as it kissed her skin. She diverted her direction, heading down into a dark valley on the far side of the island. The wind ruffled Ben’s hair and suddenly, he was able to hear it too. 

Shadowy voices whispered as the cold breeze spiraled around the jagged surface, drawing them in and pulling them like a boat drifting towards its mooring. As they were pulled ever closer to the source, the landscape of the island became bathed in a thick mist, covering the world around them in a thick veil. As Ben’s eye traveled to the center of the dark valley they’d come to, he saw a mammoth tree rising from the center. It’s gnarled branches reached up towards the heavens as if its very presence was enough to beat back the darkness and command the daylight to fall at its roots. 

Ben could feel the Force emanating from the tree. It washed over them in waves and made his senses buzz. Wide-eyed with wonder, Rey took a step forward. Ben flung his arm out to barricade her from going any further,

“Rey, stop. You don’t know what’s in there.”

“I know. That’s why I’m going to go find out.”

“No, if either of us goes, it should be me.”

The empress shrugged his arm away and pressed on. Ben dashed ahead of her to block her once more,

“Why should it be you? Because you’re a man?”

“No, halfwit. Because I’ve had more training. And…and if it’s something dark…I’ve already fallen. I can take it.”

“All the more reason for me to go instead! I can handle myself, Kylo…”

Ben breathed a heavy sigh,

“I know you can. It’s just…I…I want to protect your light.”

“Enough.” Rey pushed, “Enough protecting me. Help me. Be my partner. You don’t have to do all this alone, you know…” 

She lifted her hands and placed them gently on his arms, looking up at him through her lashes imploringly,

“ _Let me help you_.”

Ben pursed his lips and gave a small nod. He turned slowly to face the tree, twined his fingers through hers and together, they stepped inside. 

 

___________________

 

Rey sat at the Dejarik table inside the Falcon, scouring the sacred Jedi texts for what felt like the millionth time. Three weeks had gone by since she and Kylo had found the ancient books and scrolls inside the library of the Uneti tree. She had gone over them page by page into the early morning hours, slowly translating the venerable books until her eyes had blurred or she’d fallen asleep on top of them. 

Rey had learned what she could from Kylo, quickly becoming more than proficient in harnessing her powers and wielding a lightsaber faster than she ever thought possible. After everything he’d taught her, Rey was still hungry for more. She hadn’t brought up her temptation to the dark on that first day since it happened. Rey could barely remember the aftermath, but Kylo had appeared shaken by the experience, spouting off how he needed to protect her light. She wished that she could instill the confidence in her to be able to seek the dark without falling to its seductive ways. Trying to keep her distance from what appeared to be a sore subject for the protective dark knight, she kept quiet about it but the things that whispered to her in her vision kept eating at her. 

Rey pressed her cheek against her knuckles as her elbow rested on the table, silently studying the dark knight as he read over the texts himself across from her. The weeks they had been there showed the most on his face with the dark patches of facial hair that had grown in along his top lip and under his chin. The corners of her mouth curved up as she watched him absentmindedly trace the tips of his fingers through his thick, dark hair at his temple while he read. Sensing her gaze, he lifted his eyes with a lopsided smile of his own,

“What?”

Rey pursed her lips for a moment, glancing down at the text on the open page in front of her. Her eyes roved over the glyphs, silently mouthing each word as she read it once more. She let out a heavy sigh, knowing from the start that this wasn’t going to go the way she thought,

“I have to find it.”

Kylo’s smiling face instantly melted into a hard frown,

“Absolutely not. No.”

“No? Kylo, I don’t think you understand…that place was trying to show me something!”

“I understand perfectly. It offered you something you needed and you didn’t even try to stop yourself. How could you be so stupid? Why would you risk your light? Let me tell you, it isn’t worth it. Not for a second.”

Rey roved her eyes over the text in front of her once more, taking a deep breath, willing herself to stay resolute in her decision to go, whether he gave his support to her or not,

“It says right here…something about a Grey Jedi…”

“The Grey Jedi are a myth. It was the Sith and the Jedi. Dark versus Light. There wasn’t any in between.”

“Kylo…listen to this… _There is no light without the dark. Through passion, I gain focus. Through knowledge, I gain power. Through serenity, I gain strength. Through victory, I gain harmony. There is only the Force._ That doesn’t sound like the dark side to me. It sounds…balanced. Would that really be a bad thing.”

Kylo slammed his book shut with a loud thud, rising to stand, his frustration with her filling the space as his darkness simmered,

“Rey, you are talking about things that you don’t understand. I know it promised you answers, but there’s nothing down there for you…only grief.”

“I am _trying_ to understand, but you aren’t letting me. You keep treating me like I’m a kriffing child!”

“You _are_ a child to me, Star- Rey….Gods. GO. Go if you must, but I am not going to be there to save your skin this time,” he fumed, pulling himself to his full height as his lips mashed together in a thin line before storming off to the captain’s quarters with a huff.

“ _Fine_. I _will_ go. You scruffy-looking.... _e chu ta_!” Rey hollered at his broad back as she turned on her heel to march off the ship. She’d barely made it partway down the ramp when she heard him bellow,

“Who’s scruffy-looking??”

Rey stormed away, plodding off into the starlit night air of the island. She wasn’t exactly sure where she was headed, she just needed to be…away…Kylo’s protectiveness that smoldered beneath his stony expression seemed pointless to her, it was only a matter of time before she finally had to say something and push back. This was different than her standing on rooftops or venturing down into the grimy Coruscant underworld. This was just her and him alone on an island. She was convinced that the cave was merely trying to show her something, not drag her down to the depths, never to return to her old self. 

Rey continued to follow her feet, lost to her thoughts when she suddenly found herself where she had so desired to go. A wide-open pit covered in twisted black vices lay at her feet at the edge of the water, waves crashing thunderously over the edge of the rocky surface. The cavernous hole was a dark abyss, with nothing visible from where she stood at its perimeter. Rey lowered herself to her knees to try and get a better look inside and all at once, the world around her began to blur as her head became tilted to the floor of the bottomless chasm. She expected to land with a thump but kept falling into the utter blackness until she crashed hard into a deep pool of freezing water. 

Rey’s arms flailed as she tried to right herself under the icy surface that stole the heat from every part of her skin. Sinking lower into the darkness, she silently begged her body for one last push to the light. With a swift kick of her legs, Rey’s head broke the frigid surface, leaving her breathless as she gasped for air against the tight grip of the cold in her bones. 

Moving her arms under the water, she reorientated her body to take in the wide-open cave she landed herself in. Every inch of it was swathed in darkness except for the starlight seeping in from the cave’s mouth far above her and a single beam of light illuminating a reflective surface on the far edge of the cave. Within a few strokes of her shaking fingers, Rey pulled herself up onto the smooth ledge, her body quaking from the numbing water. 

Shaking the water from her fingertips as she stood, Rey focused her attention on the smooth wall of the cave. She slowly stepped her way up to the reflective surface and curiously lifted her fingers to the mirror.

Abruptly, the room stretched out into infinity, carrying her reflection with it. Thousands of copies of her baffled face were looking back at her, extending past where her eyes could see. A whisper murmured her name behind her, sending her spinning to find where it came from only to see more of her reflection in an endless line. She turned her gaze back to the mirror with her brows creased together, completely perplexed. She lifted her hand and flexed her fingers into her palm and back out, watching in wonderment as her infinite reflections followed suit in a wave of time. Her curiosity called her again, making her snap her fingers. The copies of her imitated the action in a continuous cycle until the snap came back around to her in a flash. 

While her reflection seemed to stretch on for endlessly, it didn’t go on forever. It was leading somewhere and she knew that, in the end, it would show her what she came to see. 

Rey stood a step closer to the mirror, silently begging for it to reveal the truth of who she was and everything she’d forgotten to her. Lifting her fingers to the mirror once more, she pleaded,

“Show me, my parents, …please.”

Touching a single tip of her finger to the smooth surface, she watched in breathless anticipation as the mirror fogged over. Two shadowy figures slowly ambled closer to her as her heart beat out of her chest. This was it. The moment she had been waiting for her whole life. Finally, an answer. 

The mirror didn’t do what she expected. The two figures merged into one, taking the shape of someone oddly familiar, but it was still a faceless shadow to her. Rey’s body shook as the lone figure lifted its hand up against hers and she could have sworn that she felt the warmth of their fingertips bleeding through the mirror against hers. 

_Show me. Something. Anything. Please._

As if in slow motion, the fog melted away and Rey was left reeling when the mirror showed her her own baffled face. Tears of disappointment trailed down her cheeks as Rey sunk to her knees in defeat. 

Kylo was right. She had foolishly thought she’d find answers here, but she was wrong. 

Rey’s grief from the lack of answers passed through her like the whipping winds of the X’us’R’iia, everything she had hoped and pleaded for laying in ruins. She ran along the edge of the island, her feet growing heavier with each step and the lingering pain she felt burned into her soul. She stopped on the rocky bluff overlooking the Falcon, dimly lit in the flickering firelight. There was one person she needed now, one person who she knew she could bare her soul to…even if he did turn out to be right. 

She dragged her feet up the loading ramp of the freighter, dread seeping into her at the thought of what he’d say to her on the other side of these walls. At that moment, she didn’t care. All she knew was she needed him. Turning the corner at the top of the ramp, she followed the curve of the hall to the main hold, coming to an abrupt halt when the dark knight stepped out of the ‘fresher in a cloud of swirling steam. 

Kylo’s normally lustrous dark hair was slicked back away from his face, curling up at the tips with water dripping down his bare torso from the ends. His face was relaxed as he absentmindedly wiped his freshly clean-shaven face dry with a small towel. Rey’s mouth went dry at the sight of his as her eyes roved over the smooth muscle of his chest, marred with a collection of jagged scars that decorated his fair skin. She knew he was strong, a warrior, but the sight of the twining cords of muscle that shaped his entire body from his strong arms, sculpted chest and abdomen confirmed it. This wasn’t like anything she’d ever seen before. 

Consumed by her bafflement at the sight of him, Rey’s heart beat erratically in her chest so hard that she thought it might fly out, her grief from what she’d seen in the cave momentarily forgotten. She let out a shaky sigh, drawing his attention to her in a flash, his relaxed features instantly furrowing into a deep frown,

“Back so soon, Princess?” Kylo rumbled, pitching the towel back through the ‘fresher door, “Was it everything you hoped for? Did the darkness deliver on its promise?” he belittled her, rising to his full height as he squared his shoulders. Rey chewed on her lip as her chin began to quiver under his arrogant gaze. This isn’t what she wanted. If she’d known that her search for answers would have put them so at odds, she never would have gone,

“Well? Go on. Say it. _Say it_.” Kylo growled darkly, crossing his arms over his chest. Rey felt the muscles of her chin tremble like a little girl as she looked at anything in the cargo hold but his face. A static began to rise in her head as her disappointment from earlier bled back into her subconscious. A single tear coursed its way down her cheek as she lifted her hazel eyes to his darkened amber,

“It’s nothing.”

Rey bolted out of the hold and into the cool night air, running her way up to her stone hut two steps at a time. Safe inside the small confines of the structure, the tears burst forth from her like water from a dam, tumbling down her cheeks. She inelegantly plopped herself down by the fire, hugging her knees to her chest as she cried. The mirror in the cave, with all its promises, had taken something out of her she didn’t know she had to give. Her hope. The darkness had taken a sliver of it and it was like a theft of her soul…leaving her injured in a way that no one would be able to see. No one except for him. 

“Rey?”

She heard his voice now, the gentler version of him murmuring in from the doorway, “Rey, are you alright?”

Rey dashed the tears from her cheeks with the back of her hand, adjusting her posture to look a little less pitiful,

“I’m fine.” 

Kylo stuck his head through the leather strips hanging from the doorframe, his warm brown eyes meeting hers in an instant,

“You’re not,” he stated simply, ducking his head through the door and stepping to her side. He sunk down to his knees beside her in the firelight, lifting his dark brows with his eyes wide, “It’s my fault.”

“No, it’s mine,” she sniffed, “I should have listened to you. I shouldn’t have gone in there. You were right….there was nothing down there for me but grief.”

Rey kept her knees tucked to her chest and softly laid her head down atop them as she looked up into his face, his eyes flitting over her with concern,

“Rey,” he rumbled, his deep voice reverberating through his chest, “I should have gone in there with you instead of trying to hold you back. I could have helped you through what you saw.”

“I only saw myself…” she whispered into the flames as they made the shadows and light dance together in an elegant dance on the walls, “I asked to see my family…and it gave me nothing.”

Kylo breathed a heavy sigh and reached to place his large hand on her shoulder, but Rey rolled it away from him, closing her eyes as a single tear rolled down her freckled cheek,

“The Force is a tricky thing. We think it will tell us what we want us to know, but more often than not, it just shows us what it wants us to see. I should have been there…I am so sorry.”

Kylo lifted his hand towards her slowly, waiting for her to decide to take his hand for herself. Rey looked from his proffered hand to his face and couldn’t help but melt into the smallest smile as she took in his freshly clean-shaven face. His eyes flittered back and forth between hers, silently imploring her to reach out, to forgive him and accept his hand. Rey remembered with a wistful smile all the times that she wished she could see his true face and look at the man beneath it. After all the time that had been gone since he had revealed himself to her, she finally understood why he had kept it on for so long. 

Kylo Ren’s face betrayed him when he was in front of her. She could read his eyes as easily as a book and there was so much to see. Lined in the edges were worry, guilt, and grief that she didn’t quite understand. Burning in the center was…something else Rey couldn’t put into words but she knew one thing…she felt it too. 

Rey pulled her hand from its firm perch on her knee and outstretched her fingers towards him. The instant her flesh touched his, Rey inhaled sharply as she was transported instantly away from the hut. 

A mystical green light flittered through a thick canopy of trees that towered over her. The world felt larger somehow and her smaller within it. She looked down at her feet as she moved through a dense carpet of overgrowth on the jungle floor as her skin prickled in the dank, damp heat. She felt a hand give her a gentle squeeze and shifted her gaze to see a child’s hand dwarfed by the mysterious person’s own. Her hand. Rey looked up at the figure she walked alongside but the image was blurred by the bright beams of light shining down upon them. 

_I don’t want you to leave, Ben. Not ever._

_Don’t you worry, Stardust. We’ll always be together, remember? And if we’re ever apart, what will I do?_

_Find me._

_I would cross the galaxy for you. No matter how far I had to go._

_I love you, Ben._

_Me too, Stardust. And don’t you ever forget it._

Rey tried to see past the glare to see who it was that was talking to…the voice was oddly familiar but she never got the chance to see his face as the world around her shifted. She lifted her hand to shield her eyes from the oncoming onslaught as a terrifying sandstorm circled around her. A bright and brilliant red lightning cut chaotic zigzags into the sand as the storm coiled around her. Another blinding flash forked through the air when she saw him. 

Kylo, at the center of the cyclone, his face contorted in anguish as he held something close to his chest. The wind whipped his hair around his face and she could feel his scream as it forced its way from his mouth. It tore through her like a shard of glass, draining the blood from her face as the streaks of crimson electricity crackled out against the stormy background of the sandy sky. It was at that moment that she knew it was coming from him.

She emerged from the vision dazed, shaking her head violently as she tried to unsee what the Force had shown her. She pounded it down again and again but the thought wouldn’t budge. She felt Kylo trying to pull her from her disorientation, shaking her by her shoulders and shouting her name. Rey slowly blinked as his face came into focus, his distress obvious on his features. She let out a strangled cry as the dam within her broke and fresh tears coursed down her cheeks.

Kylo pulled her to him, whispering gentle affirmations into her hair as he traced his fingers up and down her back. She sobbed into his chest unceasingly, hands fisted tightly into his dark shirt. He held her firmly in the quiet of the hut, rocking her slowly as her tears soaked the fabric at his chest. Kylo’s warmth seeped into her, penetrating her skin and comforting her from deep within without ever having to say a word. The feeling of his arms around her told her with everything that he was with her and in his arms, Rey suddenly felt more awake, somehow. More alive than she had been in so long. It restored her hope and filled her with a renewed sense of possibilities that lay before her. 

“I still don’t understand…I just want to know,” she whispered into his shirt, still clutching at the fabric, “All this time, after everything. I still feel like nothing.”

Kylo reached between them and tucked his long fingers under her chin, forcing her gaze to meet his with a firm, but gentle touch. His eyes were so different than she thought they would be in moments like these. Gone is the dark and brooding knight and if it had been anyone else who looked at her in this way, Rey would drop her gaze. It was different with him, it drew her in closer, leaving her wanting more. Then Kylo murmured the words she needed to hear, rumbling softly into the firelight,

“Not to me.”

His warm hand drifted to her waist, letting it settle there and pulled her closer to him. Rey breathlessly sighed as she felt her chest pressed up against the hard planes of his chest. She reached up between them and splayed her fingers out against him with the intention of pushing him away but found that her hand refused to budge. Rey could feel their hearts hammering in unison as their quickened rise and fall of their breathing intertwined. 

Kylo began to nuzzle the soft skin behind her ear with featherlight kisses, so soft that they were barely a whisper. She knew that they were about to cross that line…again…that line that she had set for their own protection from the First Order. But being here, so far away in the warmth of Kylo’s arms, Rey couldn’t bring herself to push him away. A shiver traveled down the length of her spine as Kylo’s soft mouth roved her face from side to side, getting closer and closer to her lips with each pass. The dark knight brought his long nose to circle the tip of her own with a lopsided grin. With their breaths intermingled and his lips so ripe for the kissing, Rey couldn’t help but find her own parting.   
His arms circled around her tighter, bringing her into his lap. Rey’s heart thundered loudly, threatening to beat outside of her chest. If they crossed the line again, she knew there would be no turning back. Tangling her fingers in his obsidian hair, Rey’s face melted into a smile as she began to close the space between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWO updates in a week!!! I swear, I am trying to make up for lost time and this story is like a freight train, barreling on ahead without stopping!
> 
> Thank you THANK YOU to all of you who have left comments and kudos and a HUGE thank you to those who keep coming back for more. It thrills me to know end knowing that some of you love this as much as I do. 
> 
> Come say hi on [Tumblr](%E2%80%9Ckaybohls.tumblr.com%22) and on Twitter @kaybohls
> 
> [Take a listen to my Stardust playlist](https://itunes.apple.com/us/playlist/stardust/pl.u-kv9lRRLtbN5op)


	13. You’re Not Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/144005946@N02/46700987285/in/dateposted-public/)
> 
> Ben’s heart thudded in his chest as his precious scavenger snaked her fingers through his hair, comfortably nestled astride him in the firelight of the stone hut. He relished the feeling of his hands perched on her waist, wishing for her to never leave the circumference of his arms. Here they were, again, about to cross the line Rey had stubbornly drawn in the sand. It had been for the best at the time while they were under the emperor’s nose, but out here…so close and so delightfully alone…Ben was ready to demolish the line and draw a ring around them instead with the two of them tucked safely together inside. Being with her, here and now, was a temptation worth exploring and would give them the chance for their bodies to communicate where words failed.

Ben’s heart thudded in his chest as his precious scavenger snaked her fingers through his hair, comfortably nestled astride him in the firelight of the stone hut. He relished the feeling of his hands perched on her waist, wishing for her to never leave the circumference of his arms. Here they were, again, about to cross the line Rey had stubbornly drawn in the sand. It had been for the best at the time while they were under the emperor’s nose, but out here…so close and so delightfully alone…Ben was ready to demolish the line and draw a ring around them instead with the two of them tucked safely together inside. Being with her, here and now, was a temptation worth exploring and would give them the chance for their bodies to communicate where words failed. 

The guilt continued to eat at him as he looked up into her tear-strewn face, made even worse with the knowledge that he had been partially responsible for some of her pain. Her eyes, freckled by stardust like the day he’d first met her, crinkled at the edges as she ran her fingers across the thick dark hair at his temples, her lips slowly parting as she began to close the distance between them with a smile. 

Rey’s mouth was just a breath away when a series of whoops and whistles erupted from the door, brutally yanking them from their delicious fantasy. The empress pulled away from him in a flash, pressing herself to stand with her palms against his chest. 

Ben silently fumed as Rey knelt down in front of the infuriating little droid, listening intently to whatever the hell it was saying in binary. He tucked his knee to his chest and used it as a firm stand to hold his elbow as he scrubbed his hands into his hair in frustration,

“What does the ball want?” he jibed, rolling his eyes when BB-8 tilted his dome head to the side to look at him past Rey’s shoulder,

“It’s not good news.”

“What could it possibly be? What, is the First Order lurking around looking for that little hunk of junk?”

The little droid swiveled its lens from Ben to Rey and back again incredulously,

“Did I offend him?”

Rey stood, dusting off her knees before turning to face him with her brows creased with concern,

“The chaos, Kylo. I’m telling you…it’s following us.”

Ben’s stomach dropped as the realization of the possibility of Ahch-to being orbited by a star destroyer at this very moment,

“If that’s true, then we’ve gotta get off this rock and throw them off our scent… _fast_.”

He stood abruptly, gathering the collection of blankets and bedroll from the floors and stomping out the smoldering fire with his boot. Swiftly sweeping past Rey, Ben ducked through the door frame and ran down the stone staircase as quickly as the light from the waning moon would allow him to. 

Coming to an abrupt halt in the shadow of his father’s ship, Ben haphazardly stuffed the armful of fabric into one of the crates around the fire, closing the lid with a slam as he lifted his gaze to see Rey coming down the stairs behind him. She didn’t appear to have the same sense of urgency as he did as she traipsed down each step with their obnoxious stowaway lumbering down each step with a metallic _thunk_ behind her. 

“We’re kind of on a ticking clock here, highness. Do you mind if we move a little faster?”

“I had to find Porgkins…” she shrugged with a half smile, looking down to nuzzle the little bird’s feathered belly with her fingertips as it let out a tiny croon.

“No.”

“Please? He won’t be much trouble…”

“You say that now,” he groused, stubbornly trying to hold his ground as the Empress looked up at him imploringly. She stepped up against him, gazing at him through her lashes, “He likes you. You should give him a chance.”

Ben pressed his lips together, exhaling through his nose sharply as he raised a single eyebrow,

“If I say yes, will you hurry up and get on the kriffing ship?”

Rey’s face melted into a dazzling smile, capturing her bottom lip in her teeth. She gave a small nod and bounded up the ramp in a flash.

Ben tossed the crates up the ramp, thundering up behind them to press the switch to close the ship’s door with a loud hiss and made his way down the bending hall to the cockpit,

“It’s my turn, Princess. Scoot,” he nodded at Rey, who was already settled in the captain’s seat. She lifted herself from the seat, hopping over the center panel with a smile,

“I do love it when you take control,” she mused, her grin widening as she reached over her head to start the ignition process,

“Are you flirting with me, Majesty?” Ben laughed while he flipped a series of switches,

“I might be inclined to do so from time to time, Lord Ren. Is that alright?”

Ben’s face melted into a wide smile as he reached for the throttle, pulling the ship elegantly from the island’s face and into the ocean breeze,

“Fine by me,” he said as they peeled away from the island and out of the atmosphere.

He settled back into his seat, feeling more at home than he should have been allowed to in the place where his father spent his happiest moments. Ben hummed happily while they watched the stars stretch out through the transparasteel viewport as they slingshotted into hyperspace. 

“So,” Rey sighed as she leaned back in the co-pilot’s seat, “where to? We’re not going back to the palace, are we?”

“Not yet,” Ben hummed as the symphony of sound emanating from the ship surrounded him like a thick blanket, each ping and beep a harmony of memories to his ears, “there’s a system nearby where we can lay low for a little while until the First Order is out of the Western Reaches.”

“Which one? I’ve never gone so many places before,” she gushed, leaning her elbows on the panel separating their seats in the cockpit.

Ben thought about it for a moment as he looked down at her smiling, freckled face, her star dusted eyes lit up with excitement. He suddenly realized that she had never seen all the wonderful things that the galaxy had to offer and he had the privilege of being the one to show her. What a joy it would be to see her face light up once more as it had done when she took in the green landscape on Takodana,

“Hm, I don’t think I’m going to tell you,” he teased with a lopsided grin, “in fact…I think you need to get the hell out of the cockpit. Now.”

Rey balked at him, her smiling face instantly melting into an adorable frown,

“What?”

“You heard me. Get out.”

“You can’t talk to me like that, I’m the Empress of the First Order,” she declared playfully, crossing her arms over her chest as a show that she was stubbornly staying put.

“Yeah, yeah. And I’m the rightful heir. GO,” Ben stood with a grin and sidled up behind her, scooping her out of her seat with his strong arms. He ducked out of the opening into the hall and deposited her in a heap in the main hold. Rey frowned up at him as he lifted his hand to point at her mischievously,

“Stay.”

Ben strode back into the cockpit, planting himself comfortably in his father’s seat. Watching the parsecs tick by, he chuckled as he felt Rey’s pout emanating from the main hold. She may be disappointed now, but he knew that it would be worth it in the end. 

With a pull on a level, the Falcon snapped out of hyperspace above a glimmering bright diamond of a planet, painted white across every surface. Ben took control of the yolk, taking them into the atmosphere in a blue-white blur. They thundered over the icy terrain while he scanned the horizon, looking for a safe place to dock the ship that was out of the elements. He spotted a wide-mouth cave on the horizon and tilted the ship in that direction. He skillfully piloted the ship into the mouth, bringing the Falcon to rest on the snowy surface. 

He pressed his palms against the seat, lifting his large from the seat and ambling into the main hold. Rey sat at the Dejarik table, arms crossed with a frown on her face,

“Am I allowed to look now?”

Ben gave her an amused, sidelong glance as he began to rummage through some of the crates in the hold, pulling out bits of clothing here and there. Rey watched him curiously as he strode up to her with a focused look,

“Arms out.”

Ben slid her arms through the sleeves of a thick coat, pulled a pair of gloves onto her hands one by one, and tugged a hat and a pair of goggles onto her head. He stepped back to inspect his handiwork, drawing his knuckles under his chin with a smile,

“I think you’re ready,” he hummed.

“Ready for what? I’ve never worn so many clothes in my life and that’s saying something considered some of the gowns I’ve worn…”

Ben quickly dressed in his own gear, striding towards his scavenger as he gazed down into her befuddled eyes with a half-smile. He lifted his hand to her face, gently tracing soft circles across her velvet skin before reaching behind her to pull the fur-lined hood up over her head. Rey sighed at the deliciously close contact, fluttering her lashes up at him as he contentedly looked into her eyes,

“There’s…something I want to show you. You’re going to be glad you had all the extra layers.”

Ben’s heart fluttered nervously as Rey looked at him with amused curiosity, relishing the moments before they left their happy bubble on the Falcon. He reached down to twine his gloved hands with hers, wishing that he could feel her warm skin against his own, pulling her to the main hatch with a smile. He pressed the release, his eyes never leaving hers as the frigid air from outside instantly filled the space in the ship. Rey’s eyes went wide with shock as the coldness washed over them, biting at their skin.

The pair of them emerged from the mouth of the cave into the blinding daylight, the sun reflecting sharply off the surface of the ice world.

“W-where are we?” Rey murmured breathlessly. Ben smiled, his eyes soft, as he watched her eyes rove over the glacier-covered world with childlike wonderment. His heart swelled as she jogged forward, bending down to gingerly scoop up a handful of pure white snow with her gloved hand,

“Hoth. We don’t have much time here, but as long as it’s daylight, the conditions are mostly tolerable.” Ben trudged through the snow and reached his palm out to her, “This isn’t actually what we came here to see. There’s something close by that I’ve wanted to show you for a while. It’s right up your alley.” 

With a dazzlingly wide smile, Rey slipped her hand into his waiting one, letting him pull her to stand and lead her into the snowy, white abyss.

They marched through the blinding white terrain, Rey blindly following Ben as he followed wherever internal compass was telling him to go. They stopped at an icy wall, a collection of speeder sized chunks of a broken glacier staked haphazardly on top of the other,

“This looks like it was destroyed a long time ago,” Rey breathed, lifting her eyes to look to the top of the frozen barrier,

“There was something here…before I was born. The Empire attacked it, so the Rebels destroyed it before they could use it against them. We could find another way in…”

“Oh, Kylo…getting into tight spaces was what I was made for. Come on, follow me,” Rey laughed, pulling herself up between the cracks and disappearing into the icy wall. Ben couldn’t help but notice the enticing way she shimmied her body to squeeze easily into the enclosed space. He swallowed thickly, slightly apprehensive of following her, the idea of getting his larger than average frame trapped between the heavy chunks of the broken glacier. 

Placing his hands on the frigid surface, he pushed himself up and tumbled inside after her. Ben landed with a hard _thump_ on the frozen floor and was instantly in awe of the eerie blue glow that blanketed the tiny space. Ice surrounded him on all sides, and if he didn’t feel like he was on another world then, he surely did now.

“Aren’t you coming?” Rey popped her head out from a crevice in front of him, her face lit up with her brilliant smile. This. This is why he brought her here. To see her joy and make her feel like herself again and remind her she wasn’t nothing. 

“I’m right behind you, sweetheart,” he beamed, helpless in the daze her blinding light and happiness pulled him into. She grinned all the wider and disappeared once more, her laughter echoing through the cracks and crevices all around them into infinity. 

They continued to climb and tumble through the gargantuan lumps of the obliterated ice, Ben falling behind more and more as each moment passed until he fell out into a wide open cavern at her feet. 

The space around them was mostly dark except the faint blue glow that that broken wall behind them provided. Rey bounded to a far wall where a durasteel panel filled with various knobs and switches sat, fiddling with each button until she swore loudly,

“Kriffing Hell. Come on you damned thing, work!”

Ben sauntered over to her, gently pressing his wide chest against her back. Rey inhaled sharply at the sudden heat behind her, relishing in the feeling of Ben’s hot breath against her skin,

“Let’s try a trick I learned a long time ago,” he rumbled into her ear. He raised a large fist and brought it down onto the metal wall with a bang and let out a surprised guffaw when a series of overhead lights began to flicker and hum above them, “Stars. I didn’t think that would actually work.” 

Rey was silent beside him, enraptured by the sight before them. A massive hanger sat sprawled out in front of their eyes, seemingly never-ending as the lines of lights continued to flick on.

A collection of broken and battered a-wing speeders sat scattered every few yards, miles of thick wires lined the ceiling and the subtle purr of a motor kicked on,

“That would be the heat,” Ben mused, pulling the hat from his thick, dark hair, “Welcome to Echo Base, Princess.”

“Echo Base?” Rey murmured, her eyes wide as she lowered her hood and pulled the gloves from her hands. 

“Mm…it was the headquarters for the Rebel Alliance for a time during the Galactic Civil War.”

“I’d heard whispers of the Rebellion before, only slivers back on Jakku. Most people talked about the fall of the Empire, not what came before.”

Rey wandered between the speeders, reaching down into an open cockpit to pull a yellowed flight helmet from the seat. She placed it on her head and grinned up at Ben, 

“How do I look?”

Ben sighed happily, entranced as ever by that smile…a smile he’d never be able to get enough of. He reached up and hugged the flesh of her jaw with his fingertips with a smile,

“Like rebel royalty.”

He ambled behind her, happily watching her as she bounded from ship to ship, ducking under each one to investigate the machinery inside,

“It wasn’t an easy time for the Rebellion. The battle that took place here took a lot out of them and scattered them to the wind. Things changed soon after as soon as my gran…uh, as soon as Darth Vader turned away from the Empire and joined his son, Luke Skywalker.”

“Luke Skywalker was here?” Rey breathed, wide-eyed as she reached to the saber hanging at her waist, “the saber…”

“Was his, yes. He still had it when he was here. And he lost it not long after this base was ransacked. I’m surprised there’s anything left.” 

“It was bad, huh?”

“My parents made it out by the skin of their teeth,” he murmured. Rey’s eyes grew wide and Ben could feel her shock since he’d never mentioned his past before.

“Your parents were part of the Rebellion?”

“They had a hand in it, yeah,” he said, running his hand down the smooth frame of one of the A-wings, “They were there for the destruction of the first Death Star…both of them, actually. They ran here after the Empire targeted their base on Yavin IV.” 

“Yavin IV? That’s where Poe is from! Maybe that could be how you’ve heard his name before?”

“Yeah, maybe…”

“Stars, the Galaxy is smaller than I thought.”

_Like you wouldn’t believe…_

Rey tucked her bottom lip between her teeth, gazing up at Ben imploringly as she took a step closer to him. He looked down his long nose into her star-dusted eyes, his heart full. There was no way in the whole galaxy how he would be able to adequately put into words what those eyes meant to him and how they made him feel. She could ask him anything and he would be helpless in her gaze, always more than willing to answer to their call,

“Kylo…”

“Rey.”

“This place…it has everything…the value of it all. Could I…could we…take some of it with us?”

Ben raised a dark eyebrow as he looked down at her, half amused,

“You want to go scavenging, don’t you?”

Her eyes glimmered in the artificial light, nodding enthusiastically as she placed her palms on his chest and stretched up onto her toes to press a kiss to his cheek. The skin where her lips touched burned delightfully. It took everything in him not to snatch her up right there and finish what they’d barely begun back in the hut on Ahch-to.

Ben watched her bound from craft to craft, squeezing her lithe frame into the slimmest of spaces to emerge victorious with a part that was more than a treasure to her in her previous life. He was helplessly amazed by her, privileged to see her in her element…the most herself and the most like that sprightly little girl he knew on Yavin IV. The smile on his face while he watched her excitement grow like a small child who’d been offered a sweet couldn’t quite reflect what he was feeling in his heart. It was like every fiber that made up his very soul was buzzing in every direction, leaving him in the best kind of paralysis. 

Rey tucked part after part in his arms, leaving Ben wondering how on earth they would be able to squeeze all these trinkets out the way they came when the first whisper flittered through the air around him. The voices poured in slowly, like the tide coming in to shore, surrounding him like a lone island in the middle of a sea of painful memories. 

_Well, princess, it looks like you managed to keep me here a while longer._

_I had nothing to do with it._

_That’s a good story, I think you just can’t bear to let a gorgeous guy like me out of your sight._

The ghost of the memory of his parents bombarded Ben unexpectedly, leaving him reeling as their voices rang in his ears.

_Han, we need you._

_Afraid I was going to leave without giving you a goodbye kiss?  
I’d just as soon kiss a Wookiee._

_I can arrange that. You could use a good kiss!_

With the voices of his parents swirling around him, Ben suddenly became deeply aware of time. Time that slowed around him as the ghosts of his past continued to haunt his every step. Time lost to his family that they could never get back…things they should have said or should have done. Any moment to make up for that lost time had been obliterated when the First Order took them from him. He should have been better. Done better. Fought against Snoke’s claws harder.

If he had, what would his life look like now? Would Rey’s picture of them she held in her mind as a little girl come to fruition?

_Ben and Stardust. Guardians of the Light._

It would be a lie to say that he didn’t miss them. His life certainly wasn’t the easiest, with his parents constantly at odds, Han giving into his wanderlust, and top of it all…there was Ben. Shrouded in darkness even as a small boy. It was too much, far too much for any family to endure, let alone to a pair of Rebellion heroes who had already given so much of themselves and lost so much at the hands of the Empire. 

If it weren’t for his darkness, what kind of family would they have been? Happy? Together? Would he have found his wings and received his wish to be a pilot, just like his dad and jet off together across the galaxy as father and son? 

Ben had pressed the grief of the loss of his parents, of all that time taken from them…from him. Shoved it down to fuel the growing darkness in his soul that ate at his light until there wasn’t anything left. Since the moment when the spark of Ben Solo reignited, triggered by Rey and her blinding light, he had begun to feel it again. He was finally given the chance to grieve his family and it continued to pour out of him at the most unexpected times. 

He didn’t expect that hearing these flashes of his parent’s memories would trigger in him. It was so long ago, far before his own birth that any of this had taken place. 

Trying to desperately hold on to the feelings of joy that radiates from Rey as he ambled after her while she continued to stack pieces of junk in his arms, Ben tried to push back the voices and keep them at bay. Now was not the time, nor the place to be drowning in the ghosts of the past. 

Ben’s vision of Rey happily exploring the back passages of Echo Base began to blur at the edges and he knew that it wouldn’t be able to keep the whispers at bay much longer. They started to swarm him, causing him to stagger under the weight of it all, pushing his shoulder against the carved out glacial walls to bring himself upright. 

The voices had started gradually, and then all at once, washing over him in a vicious tidal wave and sending him careening down to his knees. Rey’s trinkets fell to the ground with a crash as his grief surged through him with every staggering breath he took, reaching a higher peak as each second wore on. Tears began to spring from his unresistant eyes with a _pitter-patter_ onto the metal parts that had spilled out of his arms. Quiet sobs racked his wide shoulders as he released every ounce of his grief that had been suppressed for so many years. There was nothing he could do to fill the hole in his heart that took the shape of Han and Leia. He had forcefully shoved it down for so long that there was nothing he could do now but get out from under it. It came in sharp waves, threatening to consume him as the tears flowed from his eyes unchecked. 

Through the cacophony of voices murmuring to him through his tears, suddenly he heard her voice, ringing out like a bell through his fog to pull him to shore. Rey hugged her palms against his tear-strewn face and pulled him to her, resting his head in the soft space against her heart. The sound of its steady beat drew him out of his dark cloud, slowly lifting the dark veil that he had been blanketed in. 

His body drooped in her arms with his arms lying limp against his knees, sinking further to the floor as the tears continued to stream down his face,

“I can hear them,” he lamented as she gently ran her fingers through his hair,

“Who, Kylo? Who do you hear?”

“My parents. I can feel their memories from this place. It’s like they’re still here. Oh Gods, I’ve so alone for so long. So alone…”Ben moaned into her coat, fresh tears staining the dark fabric as she held him tenderly in her arms. 

Rey laid her hands gently upon his cheeks, lifting his tear-strewn gaze to meet hers. She thoughtfully looked over him, pulling a ribbon of his dark hair through her fingers and traced the curve of his ear. Bringing her eyes back to his, she leaned forward to press a featherlight kiss on the jagged scar that bisected his cheek. Rey continued to scatter tender kisses against each dark beauty mark across his features, murmuring to him softly over and over,

“You’re not alone.”

Rey gazed down at his forlorn face, desperate to make him understand, to make him feel what she felt for him inside. To help him to see that, although their lives before had been hopelessly lonely, they had each other and not even the might of the First Order would be able to tear them apart now. She leaned her forehead against his and closed her eyes and ever so softly brought her lips to his. The kiss was gentle and slow, everything they needed at that moment. Rey summoned the Force from deep inside her and poured every thought, every feeling and every ounce of togetherness she felt for him into the kiss. The ever-burning ember of their connection burst to life like never before, fed by the intensity of the power Rey fed into it. It burned brighter than ever, a blinding flame that could only find its equal in the heart of a newborn star. 

Ben pulled back suddenly with a sharp intake of breath, completely taken aback by what she had just done. Ben blinked up at her in the dim light of the passageway, ready to surrender to her every whim. He was hers completely and if it weren’t for her, he would still be lost in the darkness,

“W-what did you just do? I could feel… _everything_.”

Rey offered him a coy smile and a shrugged, nuzzling the tip of his long nose with her own,

“I wanted to show you that I meant what I said. That…you have me. And as long as you do, you’ll never be alone,” she lifted her eyes, running ribbons of his dark hair through her fingertips once more, “I’ll always be with you, Kylo. No matter how far, I know I would find you.”

A single tear trailed down his cheek as he leaned into her soft touch, his heart threatening to burst as she said those words to him. His words. His promise he had made to her so long ago. How long would it be until the Force fully revealed her true self to her? Would she ever remember?

Rey leaned down and pressed another soft kiss to his lips. She lingered for a moment, deliciously trapped in the feeling of his mouth against hers, running her hand down his arm to tangle her fingers through his. Pulling him to his feet, Rey tucked her arm through his and led them through the icy hanger back the way they came. 

 

___________________________

 

Rey couldn’t bear it any longer. The blinding white landscape of Hoth had been pure magic to her desert-dweller eyes when they’d first arrived and she had been more than thrilled to have the chance to play to her heart’s content inside Echo Base, but as Kylo and her trudged their way through the pure white haze and they were pummeled by a snowstorm that had blown in after they’d left the base. Had they known that the weather would’ve taken such a turn, Rey would have insisted that they hunker down inside the base to keep warm. 

It was for the best for Kylo, though, who had clearly been overwhelmed by the memories that washed over him. Rey had been surprised to hear him speak of his family, something he had never done before. To think of Kylo Ren of someone with a family, someone with people he loved, would be a surprising thought to most people in the galaxy. To them, he was merely a shadow…a force to be reckoned with who was at the beck and call of the First Order. 

Rey had always had a feeling that he understood her loneliness better than anyone and his breakdown in the south passageway of Echo Base had confirmed it. He must have kept it locked away, hiding it behind the mask along with everything else. Rey knew it in her heart when she saw the pain in his eyes that inside, they were the same. Twin souls born from the same fledgling flame, bound to find each other through all the pain and grief that Fate brought to them. 

She’d comforted him the best that she could before insisting that her scavenging was over and she wanted to get back to the ship. Kylo argued that they could stay if she wanted and the truth was, she probably could have, but the grief she felt coursing through him kept pushing her to go. 

The wind cut through her coat and into her skin, slashing through her with constant harsh blows like daggers, moaning in the delight that was her pain with every gust. The snow beneath their feet jumped up, licking the exposed skin on her face and nipping at her nose. It was only a matter of time before Rey started to shiver. No, Hoth was certainly no place for a scavenger from the desert, no matter how beautiful and pure the snow had felt to the touch. 

Kylo grasped her hand tightly, pulling her through the deepening snow against the wind. Rey could feel the warmth of his fingers seeping through the fabric of his glove and she was left wondering how on earth he was still so warm.

“There it is!” Kylo hollered against the howling wind, “Hold on, Princess, we’re almost there!”

Rey squinted through the swirling snow, her heart lurching at the sight of the wide-mouth cave they had hidden the Falcon in. She followed the dark knight blindly up a short hill and into an icy chamber. The world was suddenly still in the shelter that the cave provided. Rey released a sigh as she pulled the hat from her head and gave her chestnut hair a shake as it fell in loose waves past her shoulders. 

She circled around to the base of the loading ramp, putting her back away from the mouth of the cave and leaned against the frame of the ship with a smile as Kylo took a step towards her. The corner of his mouth tilted up as he tore the hat from his dark hair, carding his fingers through the thick curls. Kylo pulled his hand from his hair and lifted it to his mouth, leisurely pulled the glove from his fingers with his teeth. His molten brown eyes burned into hers as he reached out to cup the curve of her cheek. Rey melted into the warmth of his touch, fluttering her lashes closed as he bent down to close the space between them but was left waiting.

Eyes opening in a flash as she felt Kylo’s body stiffen against her, Rey looked up to meet his gaze that was staring intensely over her shoulder. He took a slow breath and leaned closer to her ear,

“Get on the ship. Now,” he rumbled quietly, his hot breath and a quiet sense of urgency sending a shiver down her spine,

“What is it?”

“I can handle it. Go.”

Rey rolled her eyes and slowly turned her head to look in the direction that held Kylo’s rapt attention, inhaling sharply when she saw a mammoth furry creature tearing bloody flesh from bone in the corner of the cavern,

“What in the kriffing hell is that?”

“A Wampa. I’ve got this. _Get. On. The. Ship_ ,” Kylo growled through gritted teeth as he reached to his hip for his lightsaber.

“Like hell I am,” Rey laughed, tugging the silver hilt from her waist, flipping the blue blade to life with a flick of her thumb. With a roar, Rey took off towards the creature but was quickly brought to a halt by a pair of strong arms around her waist,

“Oi!” she lashed out with her feet, tearing at the dark knight’s fingers to let her go.

“Don’t be stupid Rey, you don’t know what you’re dealing with here.”

She stubbornly pushed her way free and found herself breathless as the creature diverted its attention towards them, slowly rising to its full height, dropping a chunk of bloody taun taun to the cave floor with a thump. The mammoth thing was nearly twice as tall as Rey and three times heavier, towering over them with fresh bloodstains on its white fur. Rey took a step backward in the shadow of the massive wampa, colliding with Kylo’s broad chest,

“You just couldn’t get on the ship, could you. You started this, Sweetheart…now we’ve gotta finish it,” Kylo growled, his breath fluttering her hair against her ear and eyes narrowed towards the beast.

The wampa let out a thundering roar and Rey lifted her eyes to Kylo’s with a smile, giving the saber an easy twirl in her palm as he ignited his own shrieking blade with a stomp and an amused half-smile. Together in effortless synchronicity, they charged the beast. Kylo slashed at the creature with a fury, singeing the white fur as Rey slid on her knees between the wampa’s legs, tearing at its flesh before bringing herself to stand. 

With a wild grunt, the wampa swung relentlessly back towards Rey, knocking her off her feet and into an icy wall with its mammoth claws. She coughed as she struggled to catch her breath from getting the wind brutally knocked out of her from the force of the blow, pulling herself to her feet as quickly as she could. Ribs aching, Rey lifted her eyes as gasped at the look of blinding fury on Kylo’s face as he swung the crackling crimson blade wildly at the beast. 

The wampa lurched forward, taking a wide swing at the dark knight, who quickly dodged it, plummeting the blade into the creature’s arm with a roar, ripping the limb from its owner as he drew his blade down. The monster let out a loud squall, pressing forward towards Kylo who quickly found himself cornered. 

Thinking quickly, Rey jumped to her feet and blasted forward, leaping onto the wampa’s shaggy back. She used the creature’s long fur to her advantage, fisting it in her fingers to help her keep her position steady when the beast bucked and roared underneath her. Her nostrils burned, protesting at the rancid smell of rotting flesh that was even more repulsive now that she was on the back of it. Rey fought the urge to gag from the nauseating stink, pulling herself up to rest her knees on the back of the wampa’s shoulders. Her eyes met Kylo’s briefly, lit up in amazement as she gave the humming blue saber an elegant twirl in her palm before sending the blade plunging into the base of the wampa’s head.

The beast staggered, wavering for a moment before plummeting to the floor of the cave. Rey held on firmly as it fell, elegantly leaping from its back before the wampa hit the ground. She sidled over to Kylo and held out her hand with a smile to his baffled face. He placed his palm to hers, circling his long fingers over her hand and let her pull him to his feet. Rey looked up at him, puzzled as she dusted the stray wampa hairs from her coat. Amazement didn’t quite cover the look on the dark knight’s face, a shadowed mixture of astonishment and perplexity like he was taking time for the fresh information of what had occurred to sink into his brain even though it was right before his eyes, larger than life. His plush lips slowly stretched into a gaping, lopsided grin as he silently marveled at her,

“What is it?” Rey challenged, her brows furrowed in mock confusion. Kylo shook his head as his grin grew even wider,

“You’ve done well, young padawan,” he laughed, looking down at the dead wampa in disbelief. Rey chuckled and lifted an eyebrow,

“And you said you could handle yourself alone….” she giggled, leaving Kylo still stunned at the foot of the fallen creature as she sashayed her way up the ramp of the Falcon. 

Rey strode down the curved hall past the cockpit and into the main hold. She slowly stripped the black, downy coat from her shoulders, eager to be rid of the rancid smell of wampa and taun taun entrails. She tossed the garment into an open crate and threw in her hat, gloves, and goggles on top of it. She bent down at the waist to remove her boots now that she was in the warmth of the ship, halting her actions when she rose back up and saw Kylo’s eyes burning into her from the doorway. The corners of her mouth lifted in a half-smile as her hands went back to work untying the laces on the other boot. Rey toed it off her foot, flinging it into the far crate with the other cold weather gear,

“That was great. Amazing, even. I didn’t think that that would have been so exciting, but Kylo…it was…” Rey grinned, lifting her gaze to meet his, her breath instantly catching in her throat. The look in his eyes seared her down to her soul, leaving her breathless as he took a steady step towards her. His scorching gaze was unwavering as he lifted his hands to slowly pull the remaining black leather glove from his oversized hand. Kylo let it fall to the floor with a soft _smack_ , taking another heavy step closer to her, raising his long fingers to the golden freckled skin at her cheek. 

The rise and fall of her chest quickened in the split seconds before his flesh grazed hers, electrifying every single ion in her body. It was the pure anticipation of what came next…the intoxicating exhilaration of finally and willingly crossing that line that thrilled her in ways that words would never be able to describe. 

Rey’s body thrummed and she let out a shuddering breath as his hot flesh made contact with hers. She leaned into the touch, slowly closing her eyes and capturing her lip with her teeth as she sighed,

“I’d love to bite that lip,” he growled, tracing the seam of her mouth with his thumb, pulling at her lip to release it from the trap she’d caught it in. Rey’s eyelashes fluttered as she let out a trembling sigh as she felt the heat of him ever so close to her, “Rey,” Kylo growled darkly, “look at me.”

She slowly lifted her eyes, taking in a slow breath, reveling in the intoxicating smell of him as he stepped ever closer. 

_Spices. Smoke. Earth._

That same comforting smell that accompanied her and gave her comfort on those hard nights alone in the palace was palpable as Kylo snaked his strong arms around her waist. With a sharp tug, he closed the space between their bodies. She felt his heart beating against hers and held her breath as he tangled his long fingers in her chestnut hair. Rey could see how he loved the softness of it in the slight crinkle around his eyes and the way the corner of his mouth lifted ever so slightly. Kylo’s hand drifted from the soft waves of her hair back to the gleaming golden skin on her face, softly running his thumb alongside the bottom edge of her lip,

“Rey, I know I promised I would be a gentleman and wait until you asked me but I would _very much_ like to kiss you now.”

All the reasons why they shouldn’t flittered through her mind as her eyes searched his as he gazed down at her imploringly, flickering back and forth between her own. They’d had plenty to stay safely settled where they’d been the last few weeks, dangerously toeing the boundary Rey had set but here and now, with him looking at her that way, all the care and weight she carried…all the reasons to say no, to stay safe within the confines of her agreement…it all melted away at once in the warmth of his gaze and the way that it made her feel. 

Rey raised her hand and ever so softly traced the jagged scar that bisected his cheek, trailing her finger from each beauty mark to exquisite beauty mark. He let out a low hum as she pulled a slip of his dark hair between her fingers, curling them around the edge of one of his ears he constantly kept tucked away. With a shy smile, she drew her gaze back to his eyes, eyes that had never left hers for a moment, and gave him a small nod as she caged her lip between her teeth once more,

“I want you to. Kiss me, Kylo. _Please_.”

Rey stood breathless as Kylo slowly lowered his head and bypassed her mouth and instead began to leave a series of scorching kisses along the base of her throat. Her head began to spin as she panted with each featherlight kiss that he placed to her skin, setting her completely aflame from the ends of her hair to the tips of her toes. With each time Kylo’s sinfully plush mouth made contact with her flesh, a piece of her resolve crumbled further into nothing. After a few of his delicate touches, any sense of doubt evaporated away as her head began to swim as all previous hesitations she had were stopped dead in their tracks. There was only wish, just a single desire left in her mind, and she knew it was only a matter of time before it finally happened. 

“Kylo,” Rey whimpered, leaning into every torturously slow kiss, silently begging for more. He was making her wait and she could barely stand it any longer.

“Patience,” the dark knight growled, dragging his teeth languorously across the soft flesh of her ear, the heady combination with his scorching breath sent a white-hot lance of desire blooming deep within her core.

“Nnngh,” Rey answered, completely powerless beneath his touch. Her eyes closed as the unknown, yet delicious way he made her feel built up inside her. She let out a soft gasp as Kylo’s long fingers caged her face in his hands, pulling her in to give her what he knew she wanted. 

Their kiss began soft, gentle even, until all sense of decorum fell away and Rey’s desire for him firmly took root. She tangled her fingers in his hair and pulled her firmly against her, tracing her tongue along the seam of his impossibly plush lip, begging for entrance. Desperate for more, Rey was willing to take it. Kylo let out a low groan as Rey tugged him closer-still and she devoured the sound, hungry for more of it…more of him. 

Their connection sang, bursting to life as they finally came together the way that the Force had been pushing them to do since the moment he’d first laid eyes on her. Kylo deepened the kiss, savoring the sweet taste of her on his lips as laved his tongue against hers. It was the promise of their irrefutable connection, of the primal desire that they both held for the other, bursting forth like a caged bird that had finally been set free. With his kiss, Rey could feel that he was awake…he was sure. He was sure of everything, but especially of her. 

Rey pulled away for an instant, taking a shallow, shaky breath. She inspected Kylo’s eyes as they searched hers, looking for any ounce of remorse. It wouldn’t matter how hard he looked, Rey was resolute, she along with him, was sure. There were so many things in her life that she didn’t know, that had remained a mystery to her for years and no matter how she searched, they remained hidden. There were so many things that appealed to her trusting heart, taking advantage of her before rearing its ugly head and trying to destroy her…not unlike her bastard husband. 

Unlike so many other facets of her life, Kylo had remained the one constant, the one thing that she never questioned. She knew in her heart, even though she still couldn’t place the source of it, that Kylo held an importance to her that she didn’t understand yet. She didn’t understand it but trusted it more than she had of anything her entire life. She searched his eyes now and it was apparent as ever before. He was her constant, a moon caught in her orbit, helplessly drawn to the other for the rest of eternity. 

Rey lifted her elegant fingers and traced his undeniably kissable lips with a content hum, her thoughts flickering back to the deliciously potent dreams she’d have of him as the dark-haired man, long before she ever laid eyes on his true face. Here, now, at this moment, she couldn’t help but want them to come true.

“Kylo, I want you to you touch me.”

With a growl, Kylo caged his long fingers in her hair, devouring her mouth in a searing and salacious kiss. Rey’s hands began to wander, working their way across the smooth expanse of Kylo’s chest, exploring each valley, and each line of hard, corded muscle along his perfect body underneath his coat. 

Desperate for more of him, her fingers blindly fiddled with the dark fabric at his chest as Kylo deepened their kiss, nipping at her lip. Rey could feel his smile against her mouth while she clawed at the zipper on his thick jacket, pulling it down in a flash and forcing it over the curve of his wide shoulders. It landed in a heap at their feet and Kylo kicked it away, taking his hands away from her body for only a moment as he tore his dark undershirt over his head and pitched it to the side to land only Maker knew where.

Rey’s continued their exploration, trailing over his porcelain skin, connecting the constellation of beauty marks that were scattered across the hard planes of muscles, slowing only to press her palms against one of the many scars that marred his immaculate flesh. She pulled away for a moment, lifting her gaze to look up at him hesitantly. Instantly drawn in by the soft swirls of gold in the warm amber of his eyes, the depth of emotion she found there made her gasp. Lust. Desire. And something else…something she couldn’t quite put her finger on. 

Kylo caged his long fingers over her hip, slowly turning her around and pulled her back flush against his bare chest. The intoxicating smell of him washed over her as he bent his head down to gently nibble at the soft flesh at the base of her neck. Rey breathed a soft whimper as his large hands trailed down her torso, his long fingers curling under the soft hem of her shirt. Kylo trailed his teeth across her ear, sending a frisson of electricity shooting down to her toes as his husky baritone whispered in her ear,

“May I?”

Rey gave the tiniest of breathless nods. She couldn’t have moved even if she tried, Kylo’s touch having short-circuited her mind in the best possible way. He grasped the edge of the fabric, slowly tugging it over her head and discarding it with his own somewhere in the main hold. In the artificial light of the Falcon, Kylo delicately caressed her gleaming golden skin as if he were afraid that any heavier of a touch would break the rapturous magic and bring them crashing back down to reality. 

The feeling of Kylo’s long fingertips brushing over her skin was electrifying, leaving Rey’s skin tingling in a frenzy of charged energy burning at every point his touch lingered. As his hands continued to rove over her golden, freckled flesh, Rey’s body buzzed, her mind unable to process the frissons of pleasure as quickly as the traces of his fingers overloaded her senses with over and over again. Kylo’s head moved to her other ear, softly whispering what was coming next. 

His deft fingers slowly began to pull at the trappings of her breast band, gently unwinding the fabric layer by layer until she was completely bare from the waist up. Kylo let out a strangled groan, pressing his hand against her torso, splaying his long fingers out to pull flesh against flesh. Rey’s hands shook with anticipation, reaching behind her to coil her fingers in his dark curls as Kylo continued his ministrations with his mouth along the peaks and valleys of her neck. His dexterous hands continued to wander down down down, leaving Rey gasping when they came to a halt at the top of her trousers,

“Please,” she breathlessly murmured, tangling her fingers tighter in his hair and bringing him ever closer,

“I want you to be sure,” he mumbled, withdrawing his fingers ever so slightly. Rey pulled one of her hands from his curls and laid it gently over her own, leading him further down towards her center. She pulled her head back to meet his baffled mouth with a kiss and poured every thought and every feeling she had for him into the bond, obliterating any sense of doubt that lingered in his mind, 

“Kylo,” she breathed, pressing another soft kiss to his lips, “In all of this chaos that has been my life…you’re the _only_ thing I’m sure about.”

Rey’s breath hitched with a shiver as Kylo’s fingers drifted further down, easing their way through the soft nest of dark curls. Her knees felt weak while Kylo held her firmly around the waist with his free arm as his fingers delved further down, slowly gliding over the tiny bundle of nerves. Rey could barely contain the mournful keen that tumbled over her lips while his fingers swirled over the oversensitive bud, carrying a scorching frisson of pleasure across every part of her. 

She hadn’t much experience with the unbidden sensations that Kylo was supplying her, only reaching between her thighs on those lonely nights in the palace. She’d awaken in the middle of the night, fresh from a tantalizing dream of the dark-haired man after spending the day swathed in the then-mysterious connection she shared with Kylo Ren. Meeting him and dreaming of his face before she knew it with her own eyes awakened something deep within her…a hungry with only one solution. Having him here, now…with the way his fingers moved against her center, no longer a dream…it filled her an unbidden desire for more, a pang of insatiable hunger that would never be fully satiated. 

A white-hot lance of desire shot through her when Kylo snaked his large fingers over her clit, exerting just enough pressure with each pass he made to send her spiraling towards the precipice. She held onto Kylo’s hair for dear life while he continued to propel her towards the edge, trailing his hot mouth along the edge of her jaw as she whimpered beneath his touch,

“You’re holding on,” Kylo growled, dragging his teeth across the soft, pliable flesh at her ear, his hot breath sending an additional shiver down her spine, “Let go.”

His words in her ear were all Rey needed to send her rocketing over the peak, spasming underneath his touch while he drove her further into the delicious depths of her climax. As Rey tumbled back down from the high, her knees threatened to give out from underneath her, making her waver. Kylo didn’t hesitate a moment, sweeping her up against his bare chest to devour the whimpers that tumbled from her lips. 

Kylo’s lips didn’t leave hers for a single moment as he carried her trembling form down the short, curving hall to the captain’s quarters. He lead them into the spacious cabin and ever so gently laid her down onto the wide bed. He hovered over her, his strong arms on either side of her head, gazing down at her with an unspeakable glimmer in the golden swirls tucked within the deep amber of his eyes, his dark curls hanging like a dark halo around his scarred face. 

Kylo pressed his mouth… _that kriffing mouth_ …into a thin line and chewed on his ever-so-kissable bottom lip as his eyes darted over her face. He leaned down to sweep a wanton kiss to her lips, devouring the airy moan that escaped Rey as he darted his tongue against hers. Pulling away abruptly, Rey was breathless and reaching for more before fluttering her eyelashes open to bring her gaze back to Kylo,

“I want to taste you…all of you,” he growled, his eyes burning into hers as he waited for permission to venture where he longed to. Rey bobbed her head in agreement, finding her mouth suddenly incapable in the ability to properly form coherent words any longer. The corner of Kylo’s mouth curved upwards into a wicked, lopsided grin with a jubilant gleam in his eye. 

Drawing his mouth… _that mouth_ …down to explore all the peaks and valleys of Rey’s collar bones, Kylo pressed a trail of hot kisses across the expanse of gleaming flesh, making her breathlessly squirm beneath him. His face broke into a smile between sumptuous kisses against her skin, relishing in the delicious sounds emanating from the empress’ mouth as he swept across her freckles with his own. 

Kylo carried his exploration further down, skimming the edge of her black trousers with the hook of his long finger. He edged his hands beneath the fabric, following the soft curve of her ass to leisurely peel the dark fabric from her legs. He let out a deep growl that rumbled within his chest as he sat back on his knees, caught in the rapturous glow of the resplendent woman laid out bare before him. Rey gazed up at him, her head still buzzing from the thrilling sensations Kylo had filled her with until they spilled over, leaving her hungry and willing for more…more of whatever he had to give to her. 

Sex had been merely transactional to her before. Rey had always wished for more, something that more closely mimicked the images in her dreams but was left more than a little disappointed when her hopes had soured with Armitage so abruptly. Before the lies, the bruises, and the blood. Before he came to her over and over for her to meet her physical obligations as his Empress. Back when he was merely Armitage, a wolf in sheep’s clothing who lured her in with so many things she’d only ever dreamed of but couldn’t help but leave her thinking… _is that all there is?_

Rey didn’t have any idea it could feel… _like this_. Just the mere touch of Kylo’s hands on her skin filled her with unexplainable sensations that she never thought possible and they’d barely just begun. A breathless gasp tumbled from her lips as her dark knight grazed his long nose against her center, the sound of the strangled growl emanating from his plush mouth causing a frisson of heat to bloom deep within her core. She was helpless beneath him, rolling her body up to meet him without thinking. 

Kylo coiled the dark fabric of her undergarments around his fingers, drawing the fabric from her legs to discard them on the floor of the captain’s quarters. Rey shivered as her entire body thrummed with anticipation, looking up at Kylo through her lashes. He kneeled at her feet, his eyes burning into her as his raked his gaze over her naked body. Chewing on his kissably full lip, he let out a long sigh,

“Gods, you are _so_ beautiful. Forget all those gowns and trapping they keep you in at the palace. This. This is what beauty is, Empress.”

Kylo leaned over her lithe body, delivering a trail of scorching kisses across each freckle as he connected them up the length of her leg. Rey writhed and whimper each time his mouth made contact with her flesh, only spurring Kylo further on in his pursuits. He hovered for a moment over her sex, inhaling the heady scent of her arousal before diving down to drag his mouth up the seam of her. Rey felt him smile against her, slowly circling the sensitive bundle of nerves with the tip of his nose,

“Maker, Rey. I knew you’d be sweet but I never imagined you’d taste like this,” Kylo purred, delving down with his mouth once more to devour her with his mouth, enthusiastically alternating between swirling around her clit with his tongue and gently sucking on his with his plush lips. Rey’s breath hitched while she trembled beneath him, reaching down to coil his dark curls around her fingers to pull him closer. 

Kylo hugged the soft curve of her hips, bringing him closer to her core as he languorously laved his tongue against her. He pulled back for a moment, reaching his hand up to sweep a finger across her slick folds. Letting out a hum of deep satisfaction, Kylo dipped inside her slowly, the corner of his mouth curving up into a lopsided smile with Rey released an airy moan. 

Rey felt like her mind was hovering somewhere above them, sent skyrocketing upon the waves of intense pleasure that washed over her with each time Kylo sunk his fingers into her over and over again. She felt herself spiraling back towards the precipice at breakneck speed with nothing to stop her as she plummeted towards the edge. Kylo continued his ministrations with his hands and meeting her sex with his mouth as he joyfully pulled each unbidden wail from her lips. His face melted into a wicked grin as Rey went rigid and her walls quaked around his long fingers. Her face was trapped in a breathless “oh” for a moment before she tumbled down, becoming entirely boneless in her afterglow. 

Kylo reached up and wiped her arousal from his plush lips, leisurely sucking the taste of her from each finger as he drew his body flush with hers in the bunk. He wound his arm beneath her to tuck her against his broad chest, lifting her chin with his free arm to press a featherlight kiss to her lips. 

Rey tangled her fingers in his hair, pulling him closer to devouring his mouth in a hungry and demanding kiss, trailing her tongue along the seam of his impossibly kissable lips. Kylo hummed against her, slowly her unrelenting kiss to pull away and pull a ribbon of her chestnut hair between his fingers. 

Rey looked up at him imploringly, her disappointment plain as her star-dusted hazel eyes searched his,

“Kylo… _please_.”

Her heart hammered in her chest as Kylo regarded her, pressing his mouth together in a thoughtful line as he took in her pout,

“Mmmm, no. I think that’s enough for now, Empress. Two is enough for the first time…I don’t want to push you too far after….after everything…”

Rey sat up on her elbows, her brows creased in a deep frown,

“Wouldn’t that be for me to decide? Aren’t I the one who’s gone through it all?“ she scoffed, pulling a stray blanket up to cover her bare flesh and tucked her knees to her chest, “I am stronger than you know, Kylo.” She gathered up the blanket, tucking it around her as she placed her bare feet to the cool floor of the ship, striding out into the hall of the ship to the crew quarters. Throwing herself down on the narrow bunk, Rey fumed as she glared up at the dingy padding above her.

Rey couldn’t help but feel her disappointment consume her. The morning had broken over the glittering white snow of the ice-world, Hoth. The feeling of the two of them together as a unit had never felt so strong as they set off towards the horizon, the day full of promise and so many new things to come. She didn’t expect for them to feel overwhelmed by the day they had, but she was elated to have been given the gift of what Kylo made her feel. Such unbidden desire, a pleasure she never thought possible as she emotionally trudged through her daily life, trapped in her gilded cage. 

She couldn’t help but want more…more of him…more of those tantalizing kisses that sent electrifying shivers through her that filled her with the desire to play. To see where else that road past the line she’d drawn would take them. 

Each of those kisses was steeped in an endless font of passion that ignited within their bond, dangling the promise of something irrefutable between them. They had something unmistakable…an illustrious ache to be joined together, a reality that the Force had been pushing them towards since the first moment they laid eyes on each other at Niima Outpost. 

With him, Rey felt awake, more-so than she had ever been. It wasn’t just the awakening of the power that had been hidden away within her, that was just her unto herself…something that had always been there but was now awake. With Kylo and their bond, it was so much more. They were awake, connected from within as themselves and not the masks that the First Order made them wear. She couldn’t help but want more of it after being handed the intoxicating temptation that Kylo had given her. 

The Falcon had grown quiet in the moments since she left his side and darkness was falling outside the cave where the ship was hidden. Rey tucked the blanket under her chin and struggled to get comfortable in the narrow bunk as her mind continued to drift back to the dark knight and the way he had made her feel. 

No matter the mild disappointment she had felt, that pull was still there, ever-present as always…drawing them together like a moon caught in orbit. 

Rey sat up and gingerly placed her feet upon the frigid floor and quietly padded down to the captain’s quarters. She shivered a little as her bare toes traced along the smooth surface, never quite used to the cold away from Jakku. Peeking around the door, Rey’s eyes flittered across the space, taking in the soft rise and fall of his chest from the wide bunk he was sprawled out in. 

She tiptoed across the room, past a powered down BB-8, and quietly slipped into the bunk and under the covers beside him. Kylo hummed softly in his sleep as Rey curled up against him, laying her head on the firm expanse of corded muscle that covered his chest. With her fingers, Rey slowly connected the dark beauty marks that were freckled across his porcelain skin, lingering for a moment on each scar that marred his flesh. 

With a sigh, she nuzzled her cheek against the beating of his heart with a smile. Being with him, sharing moments like this, made her feel like she finally had a home. His smile made her feel safe. When his eyes were locked onto hers, it was like she could see the entire galaxy in the soft swirls of amber. Being with him made her feel strong, like she was capable of anything, like anything was possible.   
Rey knew that they’d have to go back to Coruscant soon, the little orange and white droid a constant reminder that there was a more important task at hand than the two of them galavanting across the galaxy. She had promises to keep and a duty to fulfill to her people. It was only a matter of time before the ruse of a feigned assassination threat would sputter out and lead the First Order straight to them.

They needed to keep up the charade…for how much longer, Rey wasn’t sure. All she knew was that in her weeks away from her husband, never once did she feel the need to return to him. 

During the first time she’d been on Jakku and Kylo revealed himself to her for the first time, they’d helplessly answered the call of their intense connection, adding fuel to the fire after they returned to the palace in darkened corners and training rooms. Rey continuously tried to put up a boundary for the protection of them both but as time wore on, the more indifferent she began to feel about her vow to love, honor, and obey the monster who was Armitage Hux. 

She’d meant what she said when she crooned that he’d never touch her again in his ear upon their departure so many weeks ago. Part of her told her she should be afraid of how he’d retaliate…how he’d punish her for her words…but she wasn’t afraid. Not anymore. 

She knew who she was…sort of…

Her past may still have been a mystery, but Rey knew that now she’d honed her skills that there would never come a moment ever again that Armitage Hux would ever lay a hand on her again. He hadn’t the faintest idea of what she was capable of and Rey couldn’t wait to see the look on his smarmy face when he found out. 

Rey drew herself back to the present, tucked cozily against Kylo Ren as he peacefully slept beneath her cheek. She knew that perhaps she should feel some sense of guilt about feeling the way she did about someone who wasn’t the one she’d made vows to but couldn’t bring herself to feel anything of the sort. 

There was something…more between her and Kylo. The sound of his voice, his words, his touch…they were all things that felt eerily familiar in a way she couldn’t place…not yet. The Force had a plan for them. A plan that she was determined to discover if she could. 

She nuzzled her nose against his soft skin, drawing a low hum from his lips. He sleepily lifted his large and tucked it beneath her chin, drawing her mouth up to meet his in a featherlight kiss. Rey smiled against his soft lips with a happy hum as he murmured,

“I love you, Stardust.”

With a soft gasp, Rey lifted her head away, her brows creased together in confusion as Kylo drifted back to sleep. There it was again…that name….

Rey laid back and lifted her crystal shard from her neck, absentmindedly tracing the smooth edges of the small stone against her lips, silently sending a wish to the heavens above them.

_Show me something. Anything….please._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OoooOooooOOooh, things are getting good! BIG things are coming, so stay tuned!! Something you all have been waiting for is _just_ around the corner.
> 
> Thank you all for the continued love and support. It makes my heart feel so good knowing that you love this story as much as I do. THANK YOU for all the kudos, bookmarks, and comments. I squeal like a little kid on Christmas morning with each one and they honestly make the BEST writer’s fuel.
> 
> A HUGE thank you to my lovely Reylo Writer’s Den fam and House Flydam sisters. You’ve all been so encouraging and have made writing this chapter a joy.
> 
> Come say hi on [Twitter](Twitter.com/kaybohls) and [Tumblr](kaybohls.tumblr.com)
> 
> There’s also a Stardust playlist, come [take a listen!](https://itunes.apple.com/us/playlist/stardust/pl.u-kv9lRRLtbN5op) One of these days, I’ll make a Tumblr post detailing where each song fits within the story! Almost every track has a scene!!


	14. Buried in My Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her breath hitched in her throat when the dark knight leisurely drew her chestnut hair from her neck with his hand, leaning down to press a soft kiss at the apex of her shoulders. He carded the dark waves through his fingers, lifting the silken strands against his nose. Inhaling deeply, Kylo let out a low hum,
> 
> “May I?”
> 
> Rey’s brows rose high into her hair in surprise,
> 
> “Do my hair?”
> 
> “Mmm…I know a couple of things that my mother taught me when I was young, a tradition from her world.”
> 
> Rey nodded quietly, the corners of her mouth melting upwards as she imagined a young Kylo sitting between the knees of a beautiful woman as she taught him how to braid as his ancestors had done for thousands of years. He quickly went to work, using his dexterously long fingers to weave her hair in impossible ways. The feeling of his fingers pulling ribbons of her hair through them gave her an indescribable feeling, so intoxicating that she nearly stopped him in his tracks to fall into bed with him over and over again.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/144005946@N02/46915256324/in/dateposted-public/)

 

Rey stood in the passenger compartment of the Upsilon-class command shuttle, watching the blue-white lines stretched out beyond the transparasteel viewport as she and Kylo hurtled through hyperspace. She tried to quell the nervous feeling in the pit of her stomach as the dual ion engines quietly hummed beneath her feet. They’ve been in the Corellian Run for some time and it wouldn’t be much longer before they arrived.

When Rey woke the next morning after their monumental day on Hoth, still curled up in the soft blankets of the bunk she shared with Kylo in the captain’s quarters, the Falcon had already been barreling through the hyperlanes for some time before she even realized that had gone underway. She wrapped the surprisingly soft fabric around her shoulders and quietly padded around the curved passageway to the cockpit. She hovered in the doorway, leaning her shoulder against the frame while she captured her lip between her teeth at the sight before her.

Kylo sat with his ridiculously long legs stretched out, boots perched on the wide control panel with Porgkins tucked in the crook of his muscular arm. The dark knight gently ran his long fingers through the soft feathers of the tiny porg with a smile as the little avian quietly crooned at his touch,

“You better not get used to this, fuzzball. And if you tell Rey that I was nice to you, then consider yourself dinner,” Kylo drawled, drawing his hand back through the downy softness with a crooked smile,

“Tell me what?”

Kylo flinched with a jolt, sending poor Porgkins flying into the half-moon viewport and bouncing back at Rey. She caught the tiny, howling thing with a giggle, drawing herself away from the door with a smile at Kylo’s baffled face,

“That wasn’t what it looked like.”

“Mmm…I’m sure it wasn’t,” she hummed, drawing the blanket above her knees to perch herself in Kylo’s lap. Rey nestled herself against the hard planes of his chest, nuzzling her cheek against the soft fabric of his dark undershirt, “Where are we going?”

Kylo snaked his strong arms around her and pressed his nose into her chestnut waves, deeply inhaling the floral fragrance that wafted over him. Rey could feel his disappointment and sagged in his embrace, her good mood instantly deflated,

“We’re going back to Coruscant, aren’t we?” she hummed quietly, tucking her knees closer to her chest. Kylo pulled her closer, tucking his chin against the top of her head with a low hum as he watched the blurred blue lines of hyperspace fly by. 

“We’ve been gone a long time, Empress. Someone is bound to start to question things if you’re not back soon,” he nuzzled the soft line of her ear, gently tugging at the lobe with his teeth, “Plus, your friend probably needs his droid sooner rather than later and it’s been weeks…”

Rey sighed with a shiver from a dazzling combination of general apprehension of returning “home” to her husband and her duties and the way Kylo’s hot mouth filled her with an insatiable hunger for more. She swiveled in his lap to face him, closing the distance to hover her lips over his,

“Turn on the autopilot…” she breathlessly hummed, trailing her mouth to pepper featherlight kisses across each one of the sublime beauty marks that were scattered across his face. Kylo blindly reached around her to the control panel with a deep groan as her mouth wandered down his jaw to the valleys of his collar bones that peeked out from under his shirt, flipping a switch to set the alarm on the autopilot that would notify them when the Falcon would be approaching their next stop. He tucked his large hands under the soft curve of her ass, pulling her flush with him as he rose to stand with her fit snugly in his arms. Rey let out a squeal as he shouldered his way through the door frame and Kylo devoured the sound from her lips with a hungry kiss while he carried her to the captain’s quarters. 

Rey stood now at the viewport in the passenger compartment of the Upsilon-class shuttle they’d retrieved back on Takodana after they’d safely hidden the Falcon away. She recalled with an ache in her heart the unexplainable crestfallen feeling she had as they’d walked away from the freighter. There was something that she couldn’t quite put her finger on that made the ship feel special to her. Perhaps it had been the things she’d seen and done when they were in possession of the ship, or maybe the way she and Kylo had come together inside. 

They’d spent another salacious afternoon inside the captain’s quarters, Kylo gifting wave after wave of exhilarating pleasure to her but always hesitating with her when she wanted to go further…to have all of him. She wondered silently to herself what would become of them…of this new facet of their relationship now that they’d crossed, no, hurtled over the line she’d drawn in the sand. What would be different once they returned to the palace under the watchful eye of the emperor?

Rey caged her red lip between her teeth with a deep, disappointing sigh as it dawned on her that the freedom she’d enjoyed the last few weeks was coming to an end. She drew her hands up the bodice of silver gown she wore, trailing her fingers over the delicate beadwork that dripped across the gown like molten silver from the edge of her shoulders, dipping down low over her bust. The waist nipped in low just under her rib cage before flaring out in gossamer waves to the floor. She looked into a long mirror that was tucked into a corner, marveling at how such simple changes, like a glittering gown, a radiant headpiece and a bit of makeup transformed her from the scavenger girl to Empress of the First Order in an instant. 

She heard the door behind her open with a hiss, fluttering her eyes closed when she felt Kylo’s presence behind her, close enough that she felt the heat of him radiating against the skin on her back. Her breath hitched in her throat when the dark knight leisurely drew her chestnut hair from her neck with his hand, leaning down to press a soft kiss at the apex of her shoulders. He carded the dark waves through his fingers, lifting the silken strands against his nose. Inhaling deeply, Kylo let out a low hum,

“May I?”

Rey’s brows rose high into her hair in surprise,

“Do my hair?”

“Mmm…I know a couple of things that my mother taught me when I was young, a tradition from her world.”

Rey nodded quietly, the corners of her mouth melting upwards as she imagined a young Kylo sitting between the knees of a beautiful woman as she taught him how to braid as his ancestors had done for thousands of years. He quickly went to work, using his dexterously long fingers to weave her hair in impossible ways. The feeling of his fingers pulling ribbons of her hair through them gave her an indescribable feeling, so intoxicating that she nearly stopped him in his tracks to fall into bed with him over and over again. Maybe this time she’d be able to convince him to let her have _more_. But they didn’t have time for that, merely a handful of parsecs from arriving at the base of the imperial palace to face the horde of holocams and her cold-hearted husband after so much exhilarating time away. 

Kylo tucked the last stray strand of her dark hair into the intricate braid, leaning down to press a featherlight kiss to her bare shoulder,

“You shouldn’t cover these up, they’re one of my favorite parts of you…to see the way the sun on Jakku kissed your skin,” he growled hungrily, tracing his long nose across the soft curve of flesh between her neck and shoulder, sending a soft tingle down to the tips of her fingers, “the way I like to kiss your skin,” Kylo hummed deeply, scattering a series of searing kisses down to the nape of her neck beneath the braid he masterfully created for her. Rey turned around in his arms and splayed her fingers out across the dark, quilted fabric of his tunic, her senses buzzing sublimely with their close proximity. 

Tracing her fingers across the golden threads on his chest, she longed for the Kylo she’d been with the last few, glorious weeks. It felt like being away from the elegant and formal trappings of the Imperial Palace had lifted a heavy weight from both of them. It would be a lie to say she wouldn’t miss having him close by to her without the literal and metaphorical armor he wore. She lifted her gaze to meet his, capturing her red lip once more in her teeth with a sigh,

“Do you…do you ever wish you could leave this…this version of you behind and just always be who we were the last few weeks?”

Kylo lifted his large hand and softly traced the edge of her jaw, pressing his mouth into a thin line as he mulled over her inquiry,

“More than you could ever know, Empress,” he murmured, the low rumble of his voice buzzing beneath her fingers. Kylo lifted her chin and leaned down ever so slowly to close the space between them. Rey’s eyelashes fluttered closed as their breaths lingered together, waiting for that intoxicating moment when his lips met hers. 

An alarm blared loudly from the cockpit and Kylo let out a heavy sigh, laying his forehead against hers. Rey looked up at him, her eyes beginning to shine with unshed tears. She wasn’t ready…not in the slightest. Not ready to return to this life and give up the freedom and the easy joy she felt with this man standing before her,

“We’re here, aren’t we?” Rey breathed as a single tear slipped past her silver-lined lashes, coursing a shining line down her cheek. Kylo brushed it away with the tip of his thumb, pressing a soft kiss against the trail her tear had created,

“Don’t worry, Sweetheart. I’ll always be with you, even if we are apart. No matter how far,” he snaked his arms around her, pulling her to his chest. Rey couldn’t help but mirror him, winding her hands to his back, pressing herself as close as she could before they were separated. His words filled her with a sense of comfort…of trust…that helped to quell the nervous feeling in the pit of her stomach. Kylo pulled away suddenly, striding out of the cabin to answer the shrill call of the alarm from the cockpit, leaving Rey feeling empty without the feeling of his arms around her. She remained haunted by it while she gazed out the transparasteel viewport to witness them hurtle out of hyperspace above the glittering jewel that was Coruscant. 

Home. 

The upsilon-class command shuttle thundered through the atmosphere, elegantly flying over the ever-constant speeder traffic in the geometric lanes between the towering skyscrapers in Galactic City. The imposing ship made a slow circle over the gargantuan ziggurat of the Imperial Palace, drawing its wings up from the flight position as Kylo lowered them to land softly at the base of the Palace steps. 

Rey strode from the passenger compartment, coming together with Kylo at the top of the ramp for one last fervent look between them before they reluctantly dove back into the opulence of Corusanti society. Rey’s heart thudded loudly, threatening to burst from her chest as Kylo gently caged his fingers around her hand, lifting it to press a kiss to her palm. He curled her fingers in to hold onto the feeling, raising her fist to place it against her heart. 

The pair of them were solemn and without words while Kylo pulled on his dark leather gloves, drawing himself up to his full height before reaching to press the release on the ramp. With a low hiss and a cloud of billowing steam, the durasteel hit the ground with a _thunk_ and suddenly, the harsh reality of the world she was about to re-enter to was more daunting than the day she had first arrived from Jakku so long ago. 

Rey lifted her chin, bringing forth the veil of the elegant Empress to wash over her as she gathered her glimmering skirts to stride down into the bright light of Coruscant Prime. What was waiting for her at the foot of the ramp surprised her. The previous times that Rey had arrived at the palace, she was met by a welcome party and a flurry of holocams after her kidnapping by the Guavian Death gang. Much to her relief and surprise, a single pair of people stood waiting for her…neither of them were her husband. 

A slight breeze fluttered the soft hairs around her face and Rey couldn’t help but smile a little when she strode up to give a stately nod at Vania Flast and Kai Mahlo. It was a pleasant surprise to be sure to see two somewhat friendly faces belonging to those she’d known the longest at the palace. Kai, who had been the master of transforming her from dusty scavenger to elegant empress was always more than welcoming, made her first few weeks in this strange, new place a little easier. Vania had taken longer to come around, only cracking a smile once Rey started to show that she was transforming on the inside to what was expected of her new station. 

The stately pair nodded in return and Vania lifted her hand up the stairs to the main doors of the palace that towered above them, 

“Welcome home, majesty. The Emperor is currently away attending to official First Order business. We thought that without him here, you may have appreciated a more….inconspicuous…welcome,” the older woman sniffed, still the epitome of snobbish core world etiquette. Rey knew that she’d never been able to get Vania to crack and show any ounce of informality. At least, not when Rey was around,

“Thank you, Ms. Flast. I value it more than you know,” Rey nodded with a smile, curling her fingers in the molten silver fabric of her skirt to take her first step up the mammoth staircase. She climbed step by step, glancing back fleetingly to meet Kylo’s eye below her. His face was unreadable but in his eyes, it was there…every thought, every feeling, and every ounce of whatever they shared reflected back at her amongst the swirls of amber. 

_I’ll always be with you, even when we’re apart. No matter how far._

The warm feeling that her words…the words of that voice she heard so, so long ago on those cold nights on Jakku…washed over her as she recalled them tumbling from his lips only moments before like he had said them to her a thousand times. It filled her heart and lifted her up, knowing deep down that, as long as they had each other, no obstacle was too big. 

Fate had brought them together, connected over time and space by a single thread that bent and stretched but never broke. They were truly tangled now, but the space was beginning to finally close and it was only a matter of time before they were interlaced as one.

Rey traipsed down the cavernous main hall, her steps ringing out to echo high above her around the top of the massive columns that flanked her either side. She turned down one of the endless hallways, raising her hand to trail her fingers across the molten doorframe to the Room of a Thousand Fountains. Lifting her gaze behind her for a split second, Rey silently gave Kylo a look that was filled with more than words. She’d loved being away but was more than anxious to get back to the place was theirs and theirs alone. Rey chewed on her tongue to try and douse the fire that burned deep within her, ignited by the thought of Kylo’s hands wandering across her gleaming, golden skin and the feeling of his hot mouth leaving a trail of ardent kisses over every part of her, scorching her to her core and leaving the most intoxicating scars behind on her soul. 

The group separated at the turbolift with only Kylo and Rey striding inside. The dark knight stood at the back wall like a sentinel, silent and brooding as the doors slid closed with a hiss. Rey stared quietly ahead of her as the levels slowly ticked by, the lift filled only by the quiet hum of the motors and the sound of her beating heart. 

She could feel him, his signature a dark shadow with a gleaming glow in the center. Rey took a slow breath, reaching out to him through the Force, brushing her sense ever so gently against his. She bathed in the feeling as it washed over her…every ounce of hunger, rage, guilt….and love. Her breath hitched in her throat as Kylo stood a heavy step towards her, pressing his wide chest against the exposed flesh at her back. He bent down, the curtain of his dark hair brushing along her bare shoulders as he trailed the tip of his long nose across the sun-kissed skin he found there, inhaling deeply like he was desperate to hold onto that part of her once they were apart,

“Be careful, Princess. You might not like what you find in there,” he growled, pressing a single, molten kiss against the nape of her neck before stepping away from her, just as the lift slowly came to a halt at her level. With a shiver, Rey stepped out of the enclosed space, thoroughly flushed from the mere moments alone with her dark knight, and strode down the hall to her rooms. 

Rey smiled up at Kylo as they reached the gleaming durasteel door to her quarters, unable to hold in the happy feeling that being alone with him provided. She pressed the release, sliding the door open as she grinned up at him, caging her fingers around his forearm to pull him inside,

“Come here, you. I’ve got something I need you to do to for me…”

“Is it anything I can be assistance with, Empress?” a foreign voice rang out from the center of her room, instantly melting the joyous feeling and replacing it with dread in the pit of Rey’s stomach. She lifted her eyes to the owner of the voice, drawing the mask of the stately empress back over her face. A sprightly woman stood before her, dressed in a refined black and red gown with a cluster of bright white-blonde curls amassed on top of her head and cold blue eyes gazing back at her expectantly. Rey blinked at the stranger before shifting her eyes back to Kylo at her back,

“Lord Ren, please go back down to the ship to make sure that the cargo is properly sorted,” Rey stated, her face unreadable as she sent her true intentions through their bond. BB-8 needed to get into Poe’s hands before someone else found him, “I think we have things in hand here at the moment with Ms….?” Rey questioned, lifting her brows into her hair as she looked expectantly at the outsider in the center of her quarters,

“Cass. Callista Cass. I am here to serve you at the emperor’s pleasure, majesty,” the woman gave a small bow and a dip of her head, the same artificial smile plastered across her delicate features. Kylo gave a deep nod, sending a wave of comfort and concern across the bond. Rey could tell he wasn’t happy with leaving her alone with someone they didn’t know…someone who was there at the “emperor’s pleasure”. She stood with her lips pursed as Kylo hovered in the doorframe for a moment before turning on his heel to stride darkly back down the hall. Rey waited for the durasteel door to slide shut behind him before turning her attention back to Callista,

“Where’s Rose?” Rey stated, trying to keep her emotions contained in the face of this stranger. The curly-haired blonde batted her blue eyes and innocently picked at an invisible piece of fluff on her sleeve,

“Mmm, Miss Tico was found to be part of a….less than desirable organization in the eyes of our Emperor and was removed from her station.”

“ _Removed?_ ” Rey seethed, taking a slow breath before continuing, “What do you mean?”

“During the search for whoever was at the center of the threats against you, naturally they turned into the palace to see what sort of evidence they could find. There was too much against her to ignore, so I do believe she was arrested. The Emperor owed my father a favor and now here I am,” she breathed, holding out her palms towards Rey. The Empress’ mind whirled as she tried to wrap her head around how Rose…sweet Rose Tico who defended her and took care of her at every turn could have been accused of such a thing,

“I don’t understand…are they sure they have the right person? Rose is…was… _not_ capable of such a thing, I swear to it.”

Callista shrugged, casually picking at her nails with a shrug,

“She was picked off by whatever _Resistance_ she was a part of soon after her arrest. They don’t know where she is now, but you didn’t hear that from me. It’s good that you’ve got your shadow so close-by all the time,” she sniveled, “You and Lord Ren seem quite…. _close_.”

“Kylo….Lord Ren is my bodyguard. His close proximity is part of his duty.”

“I’m certain it is, Empress,” Callista gave a small bow and a smile that didn’t reach her eyes, “It has been lovely to finally meet the girl from…where was the trash heap you came from called?”

“ _Jakku_.”

“Oh yes. Jakku. My, my…they really have done wonders with you, haven’t they? You’d think that Emperor Hux would have chosen a girl from a different sort of world more befitting of the station.”

Rey pulled herself to her full height, her jaw clenched so tight that it began to ache. She couldn’t do anything to this girl, no matter how nasty her words. If Callista was here at her husband’s request, she would need to be careful as anything had the potential to be passed on to him.

“I think that will be more than enough for today, Ms. Cass.”

The blonde girl offered a simpering smile and extended her hand that Rey cooly stared down until with a lift of her brow, Callista retracted,

“If you need me, Empress, I’ll never be far away.”

Rey silently seethed as the smirking, snooty girl walked out the door with a wave of her fingers, letting out a frustrated growl as soon as the door hissed shut. She took a settling breath to quell the panic that was rising in her chest at the thought of her dear friend being forcibly removed from the palace. But Callista said that the Resistance had taken her….maybe that meant she was safe. Perhaps everything Finn had talked about had more connections to the palace than she realized. 

Rey strode to the towering, wall-to-wall windows of her quarters, quietly watching the speeders as they zipped by in the endless stream of traffic, her thought woefully drifting towards her friend. Maybe Poe would know something and Rey was determined to find out.

 

_____________________

 

Ben strode back down the grand staircase of the Imperial Palace back down the Upsilon-Class command shuttle that he and Rey had arrived in mere moments before she had sent him away. His mind buzzed, searching for her signature while he tried to focus on the task at hand. She was safe for the moment, but he could feel her anger and panic bleeding into her light. He would need to hurry up and get this over with so he could get back to her. 

He began to become overwhelmed by a nervous feeling as he strode up the ramp of the shuttle. The last time he had laid eyes on Poe Dameron was when his childhood friend was pulling him away from the body of his dead father on Yavin IV. Starting the dual-ion engines up with a thunderous roar, Ben pulled back on the controls to lift the ship into the air. 

The distance to travel was short, touching the dark down mere moments later in the cluster of outbuildings surrounding the gargantuan ziggurat. He lifted his oversized frame from the pilot’s seat, striding into the main cabin to power up the little orange and white droid that had been tucked away in a storage compartment for their journey. BB-8 hummed awake, letting out a series of shrill whistles and hoots,

“Hey, listen. Don’t be getting all upset with me, I’m not the one who locked you in here. It was your buddy, the stormtrooper boy that saddled us with you in the first place.”

The little droid swiveled his dome-shaped head to the side to gaze at him through the dark photoreceptor and let out another set of whoops and beeps. Ben couldn’t help but chuckle as he started to realize the profound effect that Rey seemed to have on so many others, shining her blinding Light on all those who came in contact with her,

“She’s upstairs doing…other things. I’m sure she would have loved to have said goodbye,” Ben mused, giving the droid an awkward pat on the dome, “Come on, ball. Let’s get you delivered.”

Stretching his long legs from his crouched position, Ben strode down the ramp with the droid hot on his heels. They walked between the buildings until Ben found the one that Rey said she’d found Poe in previously. He lifted his eyes to the top of the spacious hanger when suddenly, the droid barreled forward, nearly knocking Ben off his feet. He swore loudly as the blasted thing surged forwards, a blur of orange and white as it wobbled towards a man standing at the back of the hanger,

“BB-8?? My buddy!” the man exclaimed, falling to his knees to rub the little droid on the proverbial belly like he was a pet and not a piece of hardware. BB-8 let out a series of whistles and hoots while Poe listened intently. Ben watched them from the shadow of the hanger’s doorway, still apprehensive about seeing this ghost from his past. Poe’s face fell as he focused on whatever the droid was saying in binary,

“Mhmm, yeah…then what happened? The empress brought you here?” Poe’s eyes lit up as he lifted his gaze to the general vicinity where Ben stood. The pilot pressed his palm against his knee to stand, his dark brow creased as he stepped forward to get a better look. Ben took a heavy step forward, a lump forming in his throat as he came fully into view.

A flicker of recognition passed over Poe’s face and seconds passed, his brain taking a moment to fully take the sight of him in, struggling to comprehend that it wasn’t a figment of his imagination. Ben stood rooted to the spot, eye to eye with his childhood for the first time in years. 

The creases in Poe’s face evened out as he slowly released a heavy sigh,

“So. Who talks first?”

Ben lifted a hand and offered an awkward wave, pressing his mouth together into a thin line to try and contain the wave of emotions that threatened to break loose,

“Dameron.”

The two men took an uneasy step towards each other, regarding the other and silently counting the ways each of them had changed,

“I…I thought you were gone with the rest of them…”

“Yeah, me too. I mean…I was…kind of,” Ben shrugged, not ready to tell the tale of how Snoke had torn his happy memories to shreds and drowned out his light. He especially wasn’t ready to openly admit _how_ he did it, especially not to Poe. He nodded towards a ship at the back of the hanger, “TIE pilot?”

Poe answered him with a shrug of his own,

“I was a kid who wasn’t ready to die, so I chose to fly. Those things really move, I won’t lie. But Maker knows I would rather be flying for someone else.”

“Are you?”

“Am I what?”

“Flying for someone else,” Ben pressed forward, almost certain that with the small amount of information he and Rey had received from Finn, it was more than likely that he was standing in front of the pilot who had saved their skins on Takodana.

“I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about,” Poe half-smiled with a shake of his head.

“Thank you,” Ben murmured, “You helped us more than you know that day.”

Poe scrubbed the back of his neck feverishly with his hand, looking to the floor,

“I was happy to…I….I’m fond of our Empress. She reminds me of Stardust,” Poe murmured with a quiet sniff.

Ben’s heart dropped, landing somewhere at his dark boots. He felt selfish, keeping his newfound existence of her a secret, knowing that no one would have been more relieved, other than Ben, to hear that she had survived more than Poe. She had to find out on her own and Ben wasn’t willing to take the risk of her finding out in a way that wasn’t what the Force had planned for her. Only Maker knew how she would take the news. Poe shuffled his feet in the silence he was met with, taking another step closer,

“Ben, listen…”

The dark knight reflexively pulled back, not at all ready for whatever Poe was about to say. Ever the stubborn one, Poe stepped closer, reaching out to place his hand on Ben’s shoulder,

“We all lost so much that day. So many good people are gone…but no one lost as much as you,” Poe took a deep breath, the glimmer of tears forming in the corners of his dark eyes as he gave Ben’s shoulder a gentle squeeze, “I am _so_ sorry, Ben. I’m sorry about Han…about Leia… _I’m sorry about Stardust_. I know how much she meant to you. She was too young…too blameless in this whole kriffing, useless war.”

Ben pressed his mouth into a grimace as he felt the sting of her loss all over again, instantly transported to the years of thinking that she had been gone with all the others. His chin began to quiver while he mulled over Poe’s words about blame, wishing all over again that he could’ve just been a pilot, like his dad, and never been a part of this whole mess in the first place. Never been a target of Snoke’s, never fallen to drown in his own darkness, never on the path of the kriffing Jedi.

But, he thought grimly, the Force worked in ways that they didn’t understand. If it hadn’t been for all this…Snoke. The Jedi training. The attack. Without any of it, he wouldn’t be where he was, thinking of the resplendent woman waiting for him upstairs. His path had always, and would always lead to her. All of this…this pain, these seemingly impossible circumstances…they’d brought them together. 

Poe, smart enough to read the moment and the internal anguish Ben was feeling, clapped his hand on the dark knight’s shoulder,

“Damn, it’s good to see you, Solo. I’m glad you’re not dead.”

“Yeah, me too,” Ben chuffed, offering his wide palm to his childhood friend. Poe clapped his hand into Ben’s waiting one, giving him a squeeze and pulling him into a wooden embrace. Ben stood stiffly, awkwardly reaching up to thump the shorter man’s back with his hand. He wasn’t ever a hugger, not truly…except for one person,

“You’re more…shouldery…than I remember,” Poe laughed, giving the dark knight a final squeeze before letting his old friend go. He held him at arm’s length and gave him a once-over with his naturally glimmering dark eyes, “You’re different. I know it would be crazy to think that you weren’t, but…I need you to know that it’s all going to be different, and soon.”

Ben released his hand abruptly as his face creased in puzzlement,

“What do you mean?”

Poe’s grin widened, splitting his face with his gleaming smile that would’ve given Rey’s a run for her money,

“Well…I shouldn’t say anything, but…there’s something coming. We have BB-8. We have our spark. And now….we have you. Oh man, this changes _everything_ ,” the cocky pilot grinned as he looked Ben up and down, “Who knew that you had been here the whole time…as Kylo Ren? Just wait until they find out…”

Ben drew himself to his full height, his face darkening with the telltale shadow that belonged to Kylo,

“No one is finding out _anything_. Do you understand me?” Ben glowered darkly, lowering his gaze to meet Poe’s, “I’m not him anymore.”

Poe’s face shifted, entirely unintimidated by Ben’s darkened presence,

“Yeah, about that…that may have been the case before, but I don’t believe that now…not for a second, Buddy. This is _great_. This will be the beginning of what we only imagined….it’ll start a fire that will burn the First Order down, I just know it.”

Ben was unconvinced. He recalled how long things lasted with the Galactic Republic after the Empire fell…there was always someone waiting in the wings to take hold of the power. He scowled, lifting his finger to point it at Poe’s smug smile,

“This isn’t going to go the way you think…and whatever you do…you keep _her_ out of it, do you hear me?”

Poe lifted his palms in feigned surrender, dark brows raised as he took a wide step back, away from the dark knight who towered over him,

“You got it, majesty!”

Ben seethed, letting out a deep growl of frustration,

“ _DO not_.”

“Okay, okay! I won’t bring her into it unless she asks…fair?”

Ben sniffed, completely unsatisfied with his answer. He knew that if Rey had a choice, she would join them in a heartbeat and Ben didn’t know what he would do to see he needlessly become a part of another war. He glared in Poe’s direction for a moment before turning on his heel to storm darkly away,

“Same old Solo! I’m telling you!” Ben heard Poe holler after him and he couldn’t help but let a low chuckle break its way through the darkened veil of his frustration.

_Same old Dameron. Some things never change, even after a lifetime away…._

______________________

 

A few days had gone by since Rey had arrived back at the palace with Kylo and the pair of them settled easily back into their routine. She had called for him through the bond as soon as her interaction with Callista Cass ended, in desperate need to tell _anyone_ about Rose and see if she could find out some information about where her friend had gone to. 

Kylo told her that he was sure she was fine, that if this…Rebellion, Resistance, or whatever it was…was doing the good that Finn and Poe claimed they were, then it was more than likely that Rose was in good hands. Rey knew that he was trying to comfort her but she couldn’t shake the bad feeling in the back of her mind. The feeling that there was something…more…

The presence of her newly appointed attendant, Callista Cass, soured her stomach deeply. It turned for hours after her first interaction with her, putting Rey into a mood that could only be cured by one thing.

Any normal person would probably surmise that Rey and her dark knight spent far too much time in the training room, sparring together for hours on end. The pair of them never seemed to tire, spurred on by the closeness that their training provided. Rey wouldn’t be telling the truth if she said she didn’t purposefully pin Kylo in way that allowed her to feel as much of his hard, corded muscle under her own. She’d be a hypocrite if she said that she would never allow Kylo to flip her in a way that made her heart do somersaults and fill her belly with a slow, unfurling heat. Oh, how she battled with herself, pushing down the primal urge to roll her core against him, to feel the heat of him against her core. It would be a lie if she said that the feeling of their bodies filled her with a lascivious need to tear the dark clothes from his body to feel his exquisitely scarred flesh against her own, desperate to fill the insatiable need she felt to have all of him…to have more. 

Rey tried to quash those thoughts from her mind as she wandered through the long hallways of the Imperial Palace the next day. She ran her hands down the silken bodice of her gown as it melted from black to red, trailing her fingers across the wide cutouts of fabric on either side of her waist that stretched from above her ribs her hip with only a thin black belt covering the golden gleam of her once bronzed flesh. The fabric moved fluidly with her every step, trailing behind her in ethereal waves as she strode across the plush carpet. Her mind continued to linger more and more on the feeling of Kylo’s heavy form pressed against hers, filling her with a fervent thirst that needed to be quenched. 

She found a momentary lapse from her enthralling fever, slowing her steps at the sight of the familiar intricate carvings on the door to the Room of a Thousand Fountains…. _their place_. Grasping her fingers around the swirling door handle, Rey focused her mind and pulled it open, stepping into the darkness inside. 

Striding down the darkened hall, Rey let her senses guide her to the room brimming with life just steps away. Rey closed her eyes as the smooth floor beneath her feet gave way to a loosely compacted dirt and let the feeling wash over her like a warm tidal wave, making her body thrum as the energy surrounded her. 

Rey lifted her eyes to the artificial starlight the seeped in through the lofty ceiling, softly illuminating the waterfall at the center of the room and filling the space around in her in a serene, green glow. She would never get over the beauty of this room, the storied histories of the Jedi who trained here, and how full her heartfelt when Kylo brought her here for the first time, offering it to her like a gift….a place for them.

Quietly treading across the loose dirt of the floor, Rey lost herself in the Force signatures that cocooned her like a warm blanket, so full of life was the wondrous room around her. So lost, in fact, that she never noticed the familiar, dark signature behind her until he snaked his arms around her waist and pulled her flush against his chest. Rey let out a content hum as Kylo bent down to nuzzle the velvet expanse of skin beneath her ear,

“Are you aware of how _little_ of you your dress is actually covering, Empress?” Kylo growled darkly in her ear, sending an electrifying shiver down her spine and a breathless gasp tumbling from her lips,

“Mmmm….no, I had no idea,” she purred coquettishly, leaning her head back to trail the tip of her nose against the jagged scar that bisected his cheek, “it looked like so much… _more_ …when it was still on the hanger.”

Kylo pushed her forward ever so slightly, creating a small gap between his broad chest and her bare back, lifting the curve of his knuckle to trace a long line from the exposed base of her spine up to the nape of her neck. The sensation sent a flurry of enticing jolts ricocheting from the tips of her fingers to the ends of her hair,

“What am I going to do with you? This is most unbecoming of someone of your station…”

Rey slowly turned around in his arms and splayed her fingers out across the broad planes of his chest, peering up at him through her lashes,

“You should take me back to my quarters to help put me in a _new_ dress…” Rey smiled to herself, knowing full well what she was doing to the dark knight as he quietly caged his fingers around her bare waist before pulling her to him with a deep growl. He devoured her mouth with a scorching kiss, filling it to the bring with everything he wanted to say where words failed, praying that she would hear him.

 

It was only moments before Kylo and Rey were pulled from their heated embrace in the mesmerizing, yet fabricated starlight as the dark knight grasped her hand and pulled her to the nearest turbolift. They managed to keep their hands off each other until the door to her rooms hissed shut behind them. 

Rey’s hands moved in a flurry, recklessly undoing the fastenings of his dark tunic as quickly as she could while Kylo’s large fingers struggled with the tiny buttons at the base of her spine. He swore loudly, caging his fingers in the fabric to shred it into nothing in his hands. It pooled fluidly at her feet as Kylo let out a strangled groan at the sight of her nearly bare before him. He caged his long fingers around her narrow waist, lifting her easily to toss her onto the bed. 

Rey let out a peal of giggles, looking up at him through her lashes as she leisurely traced her tongue over her bottom, burrowing herself deeper into the satin fabric on the bed. Kylo shook the dark, quilted fabric from his broad shoulders, letting it fall to the floor in a heap as he fell down around her, bracing himself on his thick, muscled arms. He gazed down at her earnestly, his eyes full of so many things that he wanted to say if only he could find the words,

“Rey…”

She lifted her hands to curl her fingers in his silky, dark hair, tracing a soft circle against his skin as her eyes searched his. There was so much there, so much that she knew he was struggling to say, but she knew in her heart that she felt it too,

“I know.”

Rey slowly pulled him to her, closing her eyes to meet his mouth with a kiss. The moment was abruptly interrupted when a shrill beep rang out from the control panel next to the door,

“Kriffing hell! You can’t be in here!” Rey panicked, shoving Kylo’s heavy body off of her with her hands, flying to her feet behind him. She swept up his dark tunic from the floor and shoved it into his baffled arms as she pushed him past her bed and into the ‘fresher. Opening the frosted glass panel of the shower, she forced his broad shoulders through the door frame, offering him a sympathetic smile while she shut the frosted glass panel in his bewildered face. 

She pulled her silken robe from a hook next to the door and slid her arms through the sleeves, tying it quickly at the waist. Rey took a moment to take a deep breath to calm herself and bring the guise of the stately Empress over her features before stepping out into her bedroom. 

Rey rolled her eyes in relief when she came face to face with BD-3000, her luxury droid attendant who shuffled in small circles at the center of the room,

“I really need to get the codes on the door changed,” she murmured to herself.

The droid shuffled around to face her, raising her mechanical arms above her head in feigned surprise,

“Ah, Empress, there you are! I have been searching for you for quite some time.”

Rey impatiently folded her arms over her chest, raising an eyebrow at the mechanical female, silently chuckling at the protocol droid’s womanly figure,

“Here I am, Beedee. What do you need? Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

“Yes Empress, I am here to see if you will be taking your dinner in your room or in the dining hall.”

“Since my husband is away, I’ll take it in here, like usual, Beedee. There really was no need….”

“Yes Empress, I do understand. Ms. Cass thought it would be best if I enquired with you over the matter in the possibility that you had changed your mind,” the droid shuffled her feet, slowly making her way to the door. Rey pursed her lips as she let out a sigh of frustration. Of course kriffing Callista Cass had something to do with this. It seemed like the woman was just waiting for Rey to slip up in some way so she could report it back to Armitage, Rey was sure of it. She’d at least be thankful that it hadn’t been Callista herself who had burst into her room unannounced,

“Please inform Ms. Cass…and yourself…that if there are any further changes or needs I may have, that I will call for you. Is that understood, Beedee?”

“Yes, perfectly, Empress. I do apologize for interrupting your…nap? You’re wearing your sleep robe…”

“Mmmhmmm, yes, a nap,” Rey forced a loud yawn, stretching her arms above her head, “I am so tired, Beedee, I think I shall lay down. Please, no more disturbances.”

“As you wish, Empress.”

Rey watched the protocol droid shuffle her way out of the door and waited on bated breath for the door to hiss shut behind her. As soon as it closed, Rey tore back into the ‘fresher, a fit of wild laughter threatening to burst out of her in any second. She slowly opened the frosted glass of the shower and took in the pitiful sight of a mournful-eyed Kylo shivering inside. 

Rey couldn’t hold the giggles in any longer. They tumbled out of her easily, lifting a heavy weight from her heart as she stripped the silken robe from her shoulders,

“Oh, you poor man. I am so, so sorry,” she murmured between her laughs, stepping into the shower with him. She caged her fingers around the dark fabric of his tunic he still had clutched to his chest, tossing it onto the ‘fresher floor before closing the glass door with a soft slam. Pressing her body against his to warm him, Rey nuzzled her cheek against the sound of his wildly beating heart, “that was an adventure, wasn’t it?”

When Kylo didn’t answer, Rey lifted her cheek to gaze into his eyes and was met with a flood of apprehension. She lifted her hands to caress the sides of his face, sending serenity and peace through their bond,

“What is it?” Rey murmured, tracing a soft line against his skin, “What are you thinking?”

Kylo pressed his lips together as he mournfully mulled over his answer,

“Rey….we have to be more careful….we can’t. If he found out…we’re only two people against the First Order.” Kylo spluttered, overcome with his worry for her.

The Empress let out a soft sigh, her confidence in them unwavering. She reached behind them to the faucet and blindly turned the knob, causing a stream of hot water to pour over them. Rey smiled as the wetness washed over the pair of them, cleansing them of every bad thought, any shred of doubt or any bit of fear,

“Kylo…I don’t care. As long as we are together, I’m not afraid of _anything_ ,” Rey lifted herself on her tiptoes and pressed a slow kiss against his lips, sending every shred of hope and love through the bond to wash over him together with the water. 

The dark knight groaned long and low, encircling his long fingers around her waist, pulling her bare flesh that bloomed under the hot water against him. Rey melted against him, their bodies fluid…fit together like puzzle pieces from the Maker’s clay, twins stars in the night sky that were born from the same eternal flame. She let out a soft whimper and Kylo devoured the sound, tracing the seam of her mouth with his tongue, silently begging for entrance. Rey’s lips parted in an instant, tangling hers with his in a breathtaking dance of tongues and teeth. 

Rey lost herself in the kiss, happy to stay wrapped up in his arms for the rest of forever. She felt like she had lived long enough to know that she and Kylo had something special…something that could never be replicated with another person. After everything, it seemed like the Force willed it so and Rey was more than willing to follow its lead if it meant that Kylo would be there too. Rey would travel the galaxy, no matter how far and knew that somehow, it would always come back to him. 

 

_______________________

 

Rey meandered through the collection of outbuilding scattered at the base of the mammoth ziggurat the next day, surrendering helplessly to her thoughts as she wound a section of her velveteen crimson gown through her fingers. She hadn’t dared to say it out loud for fear of what would happen when the two of them acknowledged what they were to each other, no matter the tangled mess that Fate had made of her life. There was love there, she was sure, simmering beneath the surface and shining from their eyes. 

All her life, Rey had felt an emptiness deep inside from all her years spent alone in the desert. Others may cherish the freedom she had, but at what cost? The feeling never went away, even when she had become surrounded by people in the palace when she became Empress. If anything, she felt more alone than ever before. It left her hollow with an empty void that was desperate to be filled….until Kylo. 

The moments she had with him, unexplainable as they were in the beginning before she understood anything about the Force and the way it pulled them to each other like a tether, gave her a sense of liberation from her hollow shell. Her body thrummed at every moment she got caught up in their divine and electrifying connection, filling her heart with so many indescribable things. 

When Kylo had finally revealed his face to her on Ahch-to and Rey saw the feelings of her heart reflected back at her from the golden swirls of amber in his dark eyes, they became connected like never before…their bond ignited into an intensely burning flame that would never be snuffed out as long as they lived. 

It was true, his touch left her hungry in ways that the Emperor never did. Kylo was compassionate and unselfish, so generous in the ways that he gifted her with wave after wave of pleasure. Sex had been illustrated to her as a transactional thing on Jakku when she watched as women who were proficient enough to scavenge for parts traded the one thing they had in order to eat. Rey had hoped for so much more when she met Armitage but was left with disappointment that soured over time, evolving along with their marriage, causing her soul to feel splintered and fragile. After how hard she fought in the desert to keep working and living so she would never have to be like that, Armitage dangled the illustrious carrot of a better life and Rey fell for it, becoming instantly trapped in the same cycle of those women at Niima Outpost. 

She didn’t expect it, but Kylo had healed her in so many ways that merely knitting the flesh that had been broken by her husband’s hand back together in the stone hut on Ahch-to. He was there for her at her worst, at her most broken when she sought any sort of feeling to remind her that she was alive. Kylo mended her heart, lovingly placing the pieces of her broken mangled soul back together again. With each molten kiss, he sealed another piece of her back to her, each touch filled with a special kind of magic, a gift from the universe. 

Rey knew that Kylo came with his own scars, they were hard to miss as they marred his porcelain skin…a collection of scars that he had gained over the years as the First Orders guard dog. She wasn’t a stranger to the darkness in him, following him like an ominous cloud, but there were moments when he felt lighter…moments when a glimmer of light would shine through and she’d be gifted with another facet of him. 

When she first met him, he struck her as a man who could take whatever he wanted and after all this time, Rey would be more than willing to give it to him. She’d tried to convince him that she was ready and eager to have him, to bind them together where their bodies could communicate beyond words and bathe in each other’s warmth and light as easily as breathing, beyond the clever reach of the darkness. 

Kylo stubbornly refused every time Rey hungrily tried to push them further, to propel them past the new line that the dark knight had drawn. She could tell that he was waiting for something….but what?

She trailed her fingers along the smooth wall of one of the hangers as the cool breeze fluttered the fine baby hairs around her face. The familiar tenor that belong to Poe Dameron filtered along the breeze and Rey couldn’t help but smile as his voice was carried with the wind. Her footsteps rang out high above around the ceiling of the mammoth hanger, pulling the pilot’s attention to her in an instant. His face lit up as soon as he saw her, splitting into a wide smile that crinkled around his eyes,

“Hey, Sunshine!” Poe grinned as he ducked out from under the control panel of the speeder he was working on, leisurely wiping the grease from his hands with a dark rag, “Come to tinker with me again, Empress?”

Rey helplessly smiled back at him, shaking her head as she looked down at her gown. The gossamer fabric hugged the curve of her shoulders, elegantly hugging the natural swell of her breasts with long sleeves that tapered down to her wrists. She wistfully sighed, holding up a section of her skirt, 

“I didn’t come prepared to tinker, but I’d love to chat for a little while if that’s alright with you,” she offered a sympathetic smile and a shrug.

“More than alright. You’ve been gone for a while…it’s been awful quiet around here.”

Rey pulled herself up onto the wide wing of the speeder, casually leaning down on her elbow and stretching her legs out with her skirt hanging over the edge of the wing like a crimson curtain,

“Yeah…we…I was, that’s true. I hope you got your little friend back safe and sound,” she nodded to the far corner of the hanger where BB-8 cautiously peeked out from behind a crate,

“It’s great to have my buddy back, you have no idea. I know some people would consider it strange, but he’s more than just a droid to me and really important to….us. He’s one of a kind…I inherited him a while back and he’s been the closest thing I’ve had to family since Yavin before…before Finn.” Poe sighed, looking momentarily downcast before shaking the feeling away, “Ya know, before BB-8, Ben was my best friend and the closest thing I had to a brother.”

Rey leaned forward, setting her chin on her palm as she listened intently. She adored hearing stories of Poe’s jungle home, painting such a vivid picture with his words that she almost felt like the grew up there with him,

“His parents, too. Everyone. We were all so close,” Poe’s eyes shone as he wistfully smiled, “You know…you remind me of this little girl who was always at his heels. Little Stardust…boy…she was a handful. Smart as a whip. We’d tinker together just like you and I do and I’d teach her all sorts of words no six-year-old had any business knowing and it would always land Ben in trouble…it was great. I never thought I would see him again but then he walked right in here the other day with BB-8 and it was like seeing a ghost…”

Rey sat up slowly, her brows creased with a confused smile,

“Ben?”

Poe nodded with a content smile,

“I know you two are…close…he doesn’t get protective that way over most people. I just gotta say that I’m happy he has you. Solo lost more than most of us that day, I’m glad he isn’t alone. I just wish that I had known sooner that he had been here this whole time. He may be Kylo Ren now, but I know that Ben is still in there someplace.”

Rey’s heart thudded in her chest as her mind swirled in sharp waves around her. That name, she swore she’d heard it before…in a dream? A vision? Her body thrummed as she felt the Force cradle her like a blanket, flashing a series of images through her mind. 

A freckled-face little girl beaming at a gangly, dark-haired boy with a crystal shard tucked into her small hand. Rey let out a strangled gasp as her own fingers reached up to hug the trinket at her heart. The images flashed around her again, leaving her reeling by the side of a river. 

The little girl was there again…her….tucked between the long legs of the older boy with an oh so familiar trio of buns dotting the back of her head. Rey’s chin shook as the boy pressed a gentle kiss to the inside of her wrist, 

_Look here, you’ve got a map of the stars right here…proof that you’ll always have a way to find me, Stardust._

The voice. It rang out with such familiarity, aching in her heart as she grappled with the flood of memories as they crashed over her. She lifted her arm and pulled the crimson sleeve from her wrist, tracing a soft line between the constellation of freckles she had had since before she could remember.

A map of the stars. No matter how far.

Stardust.

Another flash flickered through her mind and she saw the little girl…herself from a life that she couldn’t remember…she ran with a face-splitting grin into the open arms of an older man in the shadow of a ship she knew by heart…the Millennium Falcon. The graying man squeezed her to his chest in a breathtaking hug that the grownup her could feel in her bones, causing an agonizing sting to her soul. She was loved. She wasn’t alone. She had a family…once.

Another flash as the little version of her sat in the cockpit of a battered A-wing fighter with a faded flight helmet wobbling on her small head emblazoned with the Rebellion firebird. 

_Stardust, toss me that Tollo wrench, would ya?_

The echo of a young Poe Dameron came into view, his smile unchanged after all these years. How? How in Maker’s name did all this happen and why did it all disappear without a thought?

Rey turned her gaze in her vision and let out a strangled gasp when she saw him. There was no doubt in her mind…not any longer. There he was, clear as day. His face was younger than she knew, with fewer worries creased around his eyes and a lighthearted smile hovering on his lips as he leaned against the hull of the speeder. Behind his smile was the shadow of darkness he must have struggled with his entire life. Rey’s heart felt like it was being torn to pieces…what tragedy had caused this boy to fall so far? She breathlessly watched the scene unfold before her eyes, her breath coming in short, uneven spurts as the little her jumped from the cockpit of the speeder to traipse through the thick undergrowth into the jungle. The boy’s dark eyes watched the girl wistfully as she ran away, her trio of buns bouncing with every step until his gaze shifted and unexpectedly met hers.

_Stardust._

Rey wavered as her mind reeled, trying to put the pieces together and make sense of it all. The edges of her vision began to grow fuzzy before the light was leeched away and everything went dark.

_She opened her eyes to the sound of blaster-fire and screams. Curling into her small bed, she tucked the blankets to her chin to hide from the horrific cacophony happening outside their home. She heard the voices of her parents murmuring frantically from the other room,_

_“I’m going to go find help. Those kids…they’re all alone. Han can help.”_

_“Elara, no. Stay in here where it’s safe, I’ll go.”_

_“Stay here with her. Keep her safe. I’ll be back before you know it, my love.”_

_She spied their shadows from the hall, coming together in a frantic kiss, her mother leaving a lingering hand on her father’s cheek before running out the door._

_The house shook with the sound of an explosion. Tears streamed down her round cheeks as she covered her ears, trying in vain to keep the sound out. She squeezed her eyes shut, maybe if she couldn’t hear it or see it then it would all go away._

_A pair of strong arms lifted her from her soft bed, tucking her against the beat of his heart,_

_“Papa…” she cried, clutching the fabric under her cheek, “I don’t understand…”_

_He pressed a swift kiss to her head and wiped her tears from her cheeks,_

_“I know, sweetheart. We all thought we were safe here but we were wrong,” he pulled her away from his chest and clutched her small face between his hands. She looked up into his piercing blue eyes that had always stood out against his bronzed skin, reflecting back the eyes of a hungry young man who served the Rebellion faithfully against the Empire. He scrubbed a hand through his graying hair and down to his beard as he mulled over the difficult decision he was coming to. Varik took a deep breath and sighed deeply, “I have to go help your Mama now. Do you understand?” he pressed as his eyes shone with tears._

_She nodded as a fresh batch of tears streamed down her face, reaching up her little arms to wrap herself around his neck,_

_“I know, Papa.”_

_He pressed a swift kiss to her cheek, his eyes crinkling with a soft smile as he murmured,_

_“I’ll come back for you, Sweetheart. I promise.”_

_He pulled away in an instant, leaving her tiny arms achingly empty as he charged out the door. The minutes ticked by like hours as her fear consumed her. The house shook with another explosion, the never-ending blaster fire ringing in her ears when a mournful cry tumbled over her lips._

_“Papa….”_

_She tucked her knees to her chin, rocking back and forth as the tears streamed down her cheeks. Her Papa was gone…his light was there one minute and gone the next like a candle that had been snuffed out in the wind._

_It felt like the blaster fire was getting ever closer but she stayed rooted to the spot, waiting for whatever was going to come next._

_The door burst in, flinging off its hinges with a bang when she was suddenly bathed in a cool blue light. She lifted her tear-strewn face to his, flinging up her arms as he swept her up into his own, murmuring gently into her hair,_

_“It’s okay, Stardust, I’m here. I’ve got you.”_

_She tucked her head against his shoulder, fisting the scratchy tan fabric of his Jedi padawan tunic, as jagged cries racked her tiny frame,_

_“It’s not okay, Ben. My Papa…” she sobbed, pulling herself closer, more snugly in his arms, “My Papa went out to help…I felt his light go out, Ben. I…I don’t know where my Mama is….”_

_She felt him stifle his own sob as he squeezed her ever tighter,_

_“Sweetheart, we have to go. We need to get on a ship and get out of here, okay?” he murmured urgently into her hair, reaching down to wipe away her tears, “Hold on to me. I’ve got you, remember?” he peered down at her with his dark eyes, searching her face as he waited for her reply. She gave a tiny nod, curled herself into his shoulder and together, they went back out into the fray._

_She couldn’t help but peek out from Ben’s shoulder as he carried her from her home, her eyes widening at the sight of her jungle home engulfed in flames. The Great Temple, completely ablaze as chaos reigned around them. Bodies of stormtroopers littered the ground, nearly all of them with a scorching hole that had to have been made by a lightsaber. She trembled and held onto him tighter as her eyes drifted towards a familiar form laying lifeless only steps away, his piercing blue eyes staring blankly into the void._

_“Papa…” she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper._

_“Close your eyes, Stardust,” Ben cried, squeezing her tiny form, “Please don’t look…”_

_She crammed her eyes shut, wishing the gruesome sounds would fade away as the hum of his lightsaber cut through the air, met from time to time with a sizzle as her body jerked back and forth with his movements._

_Suddenly the violent sounds ceased, leaving them only with the eerie sound of the flames as they consumed everything around them. She kept her eyes shut, the never-ending stream of tears pooling under her cheeks as she heard a pair of familiar voices ringing out into the night,_

_“BEN. You have to leave, you’re not safe here…they came for us….Please, you have to go before the TIEs come around for another pass.”_

_“Dad, I can’t leave her,” he hugged her tighter, circling both his arms around her small frame as she tucked her face against the fabric on his chest, “I can’t do it.”_

_“Here, give her to me, I will take her with me. I swear she will be safe,” Han begged, desperate to make his son listen._

_“No, I can’t. I promised her that I would protect her.”_

_“She will be in more danger if she stays with you and you know it,” another voice chimed in. It was her Mama, safe and sound like she had prayed to the Maker for. She felt her warm hands against her back, but Ben instinctively pulled her away,_

_“My son, please, you have my word. I swear I will make sure that she leaves this planet safely,” Han pleaded. Rey’s heart thudded in her tiny chest, unable to shake the terrible feeling that something worse….something darker was coming. They’d have to decide soon, time was beginning to run out._

_Ben pressed his lips into her hair and breathlessly murmured,_

_“Don’t be afraid, sweet girl. I will find you, I swear. I don’t care how long it takes. Just remember that I will always be with you, no matter if we are apart. No matter how far. I would cross the galaxy for you, my Stardust,” he lifted her face to meet his as he searched her eyes in a silent farewell. He looked over her shoulder and gave a quick nod and suddenly, she was pulled from his arms and left more terrified than ever as her heartbroken cries for him echoed out into the night until a blast of plasma fire lit up the night in a flash of bright white._

_Han held her tightly as he ducked from the explosion and she swore she could still bear Ben calling her name. The older man pulled her from his arms and passed her frantically to her Mama,_

_“Elara, take her. GO, get on the shuttle and get outta here. There are more troopers coming, I’ll hold them off for as long as I can to give you enough time to make a clean getaway.”_

_“Han, no. I couldn’t possibly…what about you? What about Ben?”_

_“Yes, you can. You will. Ben can take care of himself and he would never forgive me if something happened to her. She is his light and we need to protect her,” he grazed a scruffy kiss atop her head, “I wish I could see you grow up, kid. Take care of him. Now GO,” he urged them up the ramp, reaching in to press the switch to close the ramp before her Mama could change her mind._

_Elara tried to hold her close as the shuttle shakily took flight but she tore herself away to press her nose against the transparasteel viewport. Her eyes flittered over the horrific scene, drawn to the flurry of blue light as it bent and twirled in the darkness against the flicker of red blaster bolts,_

_“Ben!” she cried, pounding her tiny fists against the glass as the shuttle rose higher into the atmosphere. Her agonizing wails filled the cabin while she cried out his name over and over again, long after they’d left the jungle moon and watched the stars stretch as they thundered into hyperspace._

Rey woke suddenly, her shoulders being frantically shaken as someone called out her name. She opened her eyes, blinking rapidly as her vision came slowly into focus. Poe’s worried face hovered just above hers that melted into exhausted relief as she slowly sat up. She rubbed her temple as she closed her eyes with a soft sigh, lifting her hand away to rub the sticky glob of blood on the tips of her fingers,

“You fell pretty good there, Sunshine,” Poe knelt down next to her, placing his warm hand on her bare shoulder. Rey lifted her gaze to him and let out a soft gasp,

“Poe.”

His face melted into an easy smile while Rey went reeling back to her thoughts and the flood of memories that had coursed over her like a tidal wave. She placed her hand on his shoulder, pressing down to pull herself to stand. Wobbling for a moment, Rey drew her fingers to her head as it ached.

She remembered everything. 

Every moment. Every leaf of the jungle moon. 

Her parents. Her home.

Ben.

Her eyes flashed up to Poe’s face in an instant, overcome with a desperate sense of urgency,

“I’m borrowing a ship.”

Poe’s dark brows raised high into his hair, reaching for her as she wavered on her feet,

“I….I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to fly, Rey….”

“You don’t understand…I have to go home. I have to see…” Rey shoved him aside, trailing her fingers across the ebony hull of the Upsilon-class command shuttle. It felt like a lifetime ago when she stood in this hanger for the first time, dreaming of leaving her gilded cage. 

Resolute in her decision, Rey stepped away from a flabbergasted Poe and marched up the ramp, quickly closing it behind her. She strode into the cockpit and flipped a series of switches to bring the dual-ion engines to life with a low rumble. Pulling back on the controls, she effortlessly guided the ship out of the hanger and into the Coruscant sky. She knew exactly where she was going. 

_Home._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh!!! *screams from the rooftops*
> 
> SHE FINALLY REMEMBERS!!!
> 
> What a relief to finally get here!!!
> 
> Come say hi on [Tumblr](Kaybohls.tumblr.com/) AND [Twitter](Twitter.com/kaybohls)
> 
> Thank you so much for the continued love, comments and kudos!! And a HUGE thank you to my Spinter crew in the Reylo Writer’s Den and my House Flydam sisters for helping me stay motivated and being supremely awesome in general. 
> 
> Writing is going supremely well, so expect an update soon!!!


	15. Stardust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What about what I lost, huh Rey? I told you that you weren’t alone. Not in this. _Not ever_ ,” Ben seethed, drawing himself up to his full height and curling his fingers into his palm with a loud crack, “My parents. My life. My entire existence was taken from me. They turned me into a slave. Gods… _you_. I lost you too. I didn’t have the luxury of being able to forget.”

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/144005946@N02/46753567395/in/dateposted-public/)

 

Ben stepped off of the shuttle as he settled amongst the outbuildings of the Palace District, having just returned from retrieving his father’s prized ship from Takodana, tucking it safely away on Coruscant in case he was ever in need of the fastest ship in the galaxy. He stretched his wide shoulders that remained stiff after his long trip when he felt it shudder through him like a shock to his system. A momentous shift in the Force rattled through him, shaking him to his very core as his eyes widened with a jolting realization. 

Rey. 

Ben closed his eyes for a moment to center himself and quiet his mind so he could pluck her beamingly bright signature out from the millions of lifeforms in the surrounding block. He let out a shuddering breath when he found her…but she was leaving, her presence getting further and further away as the time wore on. 

He bolted between the building, running as quickly as he could in his heavy boots and cloak to get to where she was before it was too late. Sliding into the wide-open door of the all too familiar hanger, Ben looked around wildly for her face, to no avail. His attention shifted abruptly when Poe Dameron jogged into view, breathless with panic as he took in the bedraggled appearance of the dark knight,

“I…I don’t know what happened, Ben. We were talking one minute and she sort of just…drifted off…I don’t know where she went, she just was _blank_ and then toppled over,” Poe prattled on, trying to quickly sum up his understanding of what had happened in his mind, “I got her to wake up, I think she may have hit her head a little hard because she just…she hopped in a shuttle and left.”

Ben scrubbed his long fingers through his dark curls in frustration, letting out a deep growl,

“You let her _leave_?” he fumed, pacing the floor like a wild animal, his ever-present darkness simmering beneath the surface as control slipped through his fingers, “Gods…you just couldn’t keep your kriffing mouth shut, could you? I _knew_ it was a bad idea to come here and see you again.”

Poe squared his shoulders, pulling himself up to try and bring himself closer to the dark knight’s considerable height,

“A bad idea? Ben, you can’t pretend that I understand in the slightest what’s happening here between the two of you…”

Scrubbing his hands furiously through his hair, Ben closed his eyes and let out a sigh, pressing his lips together in a firm line. He opened them slowly, his broad shoulders sagging under the weight of everything that had happened and the guilt he felt by not being there for her like he’d promised….again,

“It’s _her_ , Poe.”

The pilot stood frozen, his brows creased together as he stared back at the dark knight. Ben’s gaze was mournful and unwavering as he looked back at him, desperate to not say more than he had to. He wasn’t ready to acknowledge it out in the open…not yet. 

Poe’s face softened ever so slightly, letting out a shaky breath,

“You mean…”

“She’s been here, all this time…with no idea about…about any of it,” Ben let out a dry sob, his chest still aching from the astronomical disturbance he had felt in the Force. It was like all time had stood still for a moment while his mind moved at light speed, leaving him reeling as it all snapped back together forcefully like a rubber band. 

Poe’s mouth hung open in a silent “oh” while his mind struggled to make sense of it all. His shoulders slumped over as he reached out to brace himself on the wing of the speeder,

“I…I’ve been tinkering this whole time with Stardust? I…I thought she was gone…stars…how didn’t I see? It’s been like…like it was back on Yavin this whole time…”

“We all thought she was gone…even I didn’t see, not at first. Gods, the Force tried so hard to show me, but I didn’t listen…I should have been paying attention. I could-I could have…”

Poe stepped forward and placed his hand on his friend’s arm, giving him a reassuring squeeze,

“I’m not like you, I know, but I do know that the Force works in ways that we don’t understand…I’m sure it had to be this way…”

“At the expense of everything I love?” Ben fumed, yanking his arm away like the touch burned him from the inside. His mind raced, silently begging the Force to show him something, give him some sort of idea of where she’d be. Her signature was faint in the back of his mind, a quiet hum blinking amongst the vast canvas of stars in the sky.

“I know this may sound crazy, but…do you think she may have gone to the simplest place?” Poe shrugged, offering a sympathetic smile, “I mean…where would you go if you suddenly remembered your entire family?”

Ben’s mouth dropped open with a small gasp. Why didn’t he think of it right away, it made complete sense,

“She went home.”

 

_______________________

 

It only took a few anxious hours for Rey to reach the jungle moon in the stolen Upsilon-class command shuttle, setting it down in the shadow of the Great Temple as soon as she arrived in the shadow of the red gas giant, Yavin Prime. Her heart beat furiously in her ears as the ramp lowered to the jungle floor with a hiss and a soft billow of steam. She was instantly blanketed in the balmy air, prickling her skin in an instant as she stepped down the ramp and into the sun. 

Rey shielded her eyes against the bright beams of sunlight and lifted her gaze to take in the flame-scarred remains of the Great Temple. Black marks where the flames viciously licked the ancient stone were striking against the grey surface, hidden in places by the climbing ferns that had overtaken the structure over the lifetime it’d been since the attack. 

Rey flinched, blinking rapidly as the echoes of screams and blaster fire rang in her ears, more vivid in her mind now that she was in the place that held those painful memories that had been lost to her for so long. She stepped away from the ghost of a shell of her padawan home, eager to be further away from the ghosts that lingered in its shadow. 

The hem of her crimson gown trailed behind her, dragging along the overgrown grounds that used to belong to the Jedi Academy. There weren’t any bodies left behind, presumably cleared out by any survivors that weren’t snatched away by the First Order, but their signatures lingered, heavily weighing down Rey’s heart as she wandered amongst them. 

Stepping into the dense jungle, her gown snagged on the stray branches, tearing tiny holes in the fine shimmer silk but Rey couldn’t care less. A new feeling tied itself to her like a thread and she was helpless as it pulled her in, drawing her deeper into the jungle. Stray brambles scratched at her bare shoulder, marring the surface of her golden, freckled skin, yet Rey remained enraptured as she stepped through the thick overgrowth.

A small wooden house peeked out from the thick jungle floor and Rey let out a strangled sob as she stepped closer, knowing the structure in an instant. Her chest grew tighter and her breathing more difficult as she strode up to the lopsided door than hung from its hinges. Pressing her hands softly against the warmth of the wood, Rey closed her eyes and pushed it open. 

She felt it wash over her as she stepped over the threshold…the spirit of the house. It had retreated into the walls and away from the dust when its occupants vanished from inside, leaving only memories and objects behind. Her chin quivered when she looked around and saw a different piece of herself in every corner…a piece of this lost girl who wasn’t lost anymore. She’d come home. 

This house held everything that was once dear to her. Every memory was precious, from the hugs and the laughter that rang out like gleeful music, to her mother’s voice as she sang her to sleep. She reached out and ran the tips of her fingers against the peeling paint in the small hall, wandering room by room to take in what was left of her broken childhood. The floors were bare and the walls were faded, but the memories burned brighter than ever, threatening to suffocate her as she swam helplessly through the depths of them all. 

Rey’s brow creased as she spied a glint of gold gleaming from the thick layer of dust and leaves at her feet. She reached down and curled her fingers around it, dusting off the years of grime from the smooth surface to reveal the beauty below. 

She held it in her palm, tracing her thumb around the small ring as a single tear slipped down her cheek. There wasn’t any doubt in her mind…this had belonged to her mother. Elara Dinsne, the once-famed singer of the Galaxies opera house in the heart of Galactic City on Coruscant who lost her heart to a Rebellion hero from the jungle moon and left her life behind...all for the sake of love. Rey tucked it to her chest as she wandered further into the room, anxiously lifting a small holopad from a wooden desk.

With a shaky breath, Rey blew the dust from the metal surface, wiping away the grime and praying it would still work. She pressed the button and sank to her knees in a heap of crimson shimmer silk and the faint blue image of a happy family shone from the disc. Rey struggled to take a breath while the tears streamed down her face, feeling like all of the wind had been knocked from her lungs as memory after vivid memory flashed before her eyes. 

Her Papa striding down the narrow hallway with her small arms wrapped around his shoulders, his blue eyes twinkling as she begged him to tell the story of the Battle of Yavin just _one more time_ before she went to sleep.

Elara, softly singing her to sleep at night while her fingers gently carded through her hair with a loving touch only a mother could provide. 

The dual embrace of both her parents, swathing her in love when she first showed signs of being Force-sensitive. 

_We are so proud of you, Sweetheart. You’re going to do such great things._

After what felt like forever, Rey pulled herself to stand and dusted the dried leaves that clung to her skirt. Her legs shook from the exhaustive toll the day had taken on her body and mind, legs that once used to dangle from the furniture scattered around her that now stood firmly against the floor, suspended in the moments of her irretrievable childhood. 

Having seen more than enough, Rey strode from the skeletal remains of her home, pausing at the lopsided doorframe to give it one last, forlorn look in a silent farewell as she slipped her mother’s ring on her finger. 

Rey emerged from the tattered remains of her childhood home, still reeling from the wave of memories that had washed over her in sharp waves as soon as she had set foot inside. She had been so wrapped up in the visions of the past that she didn’t hear the dull roar of the sublight engines thunder into the atmosphere. 

Rey fiddled with Elara’s ring on her finger as she ducked out of the scarred doorframe, lifting her hand to shield her eyes from the bright beams of sunlight that filtered through the trees. She wandered between the trees, lost in the serene green glow that the jungle’s canopy provided while she blindly followed her feet until she found herself back in the wide-open space at the foot of the Great Temple. 

Her gaze darted upwards towards a noise coming from in front of her when she saw him burst through the tree line. He thundered through the overgrowth, his eyes wild with fear, frantically scanning the area for any sign of her. Stopping abruptly when their eyes met from across the clearing, Ben slowly steadied his breath, his face softening at the sight of her as relief washed over him. 

They stood staring at each other for was felt like hours, the seconds passing slowly as Rey took stock of the sight of him like she was trying to convince herself that this wasn’t another dream before she took a tentative step forward. Rey had a wild look in her eyes, somewhere between heart-wrenching grief and limitless joy. 

Ben took a slow step forward, regarding her like a wild runyip that he was desperate not to spook,

“Hey Stardust,” he murmured softly, not sure of what to expect from her. He knew she’d more than likely be hurt he’d kept this from her, possibly angry, but he didn’t expect what came next,

“Ben,” Rey gasped in a strangled sob, surging forward, stumbling through the brush towards him, the ground between them vanishing as they careened towards each other. Hot tears began to fall freely as she struggled to stay on her feet, her emotional exhaustion finally catching up with her. 

Ben caught her effortlessly, folding her close to her chest and pressed his nose into her hair as they sunk to the ground together. Before she could draw in a shaky breath to get the air her body so desperately needed, Rey felt her body melt into his arms. 

He held her firmly as she wept, his own tears blending with hers before she pulled her head back and allowed him to wipe the wet tracks from her cheeks with his thumbs, the tender touch bringing her more sweet relief than her aching heart could begin to hold. Her eyes flittered back and forth between his, devouring the sight of him and reaching up to card her fingers through his hair like she couldn’t quite believe that he wasn’t just part of a long-forgotten dream. 

“It was all real, wasn’t it? I thought I dreamed you, I thought I was all alone…” Rey cried into his dark tunic, fisting the fabric in her fingers as her body shook with sharp sobs. Crying out for the time that was stolen from them that they would never get back. “…I was so alone…”

“You’re not alone,” Ben’s mouth curved into a soft smile before folding her to his chest once more.

“Please,” she murmured, her voice a ragged whisper, “Please don’t leave me again…I don’t think I could take it.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere…I don’t want to be anywhere you’re not, Stardust. I’m here. I always will be,” he caged his arms around her and gently ran soft tracks down her exposed back and across her chestnut hair. With each touch, more tears fell to join the others that had smattered on the warm soil of the jungle floor, tears that neither Ben or Rey brushed away. 

They held each other as the time ticked by, desperate to hold onto one another until the sun began to set in the sky. After so many years that had been ripped away from them, the pair of them longed to stay in the peace of being themselves and the time that dragged by was nowhere near their minds. 

The sun began to dip behind the towering façade of the Great Temple and with it, the sky became ablaze with a fiery hue that beckoned the stars to shine brilliantly over the whispers of the jungle floor. 

Rey lifted herself from where she’d nestled herself against Ben’s chest, slowly dusting over the tattered bits of her shimmer silk gown and offering her hand to Ben who still sat where they’d landed together on the warm soil,

“My ship or yours?”

The corners of his mouth lifted ever so slightly as he quietly regarded her, slipping his long fingers into her waiting palm. He rose above her and she followed his gaze with a tilt of her chin, his eyes narrowing slightly as he tipped his head to the side,

“Yours is stolen.”

Rey shrugged, the beginnings of a facetious smile pulling at the corners of her mouth,

“So is yours. Besides, it’s a First Order ship and I’m the Empress…so is it _really_ stealing?”

Ben let out a soft laugh and reached out to tangle his hand with her fingers, his heart feeling lighter than it truly had in ages now that she…his Stardust…was here with him, no matter the scars. 

They quietly walked hand-in-hand, the only sounds were the quiet buzz of the jungle, brimming with life and the quiet tread of their feet against the forest floor. Even her signature was quiet, her light dimmed ever so lightly in the darkness the day had washed over her, taking a toll on every part of her. Rey held the hem of her gown firmly in her other hand as the pair of them stepped through the overgrown brambles, finally emerging into another clearing that held the telltale hull and side-mounted cockpit of the Millennium Falcon. Rey stopped suddenly in the shadow of the ship, pulling Ben’s gaze to her as her eyes darkened at the sight of it. His heart skipped a beat when she murmured something softly to herself with her eyes locked on the ship. Ben took a step towards her but she stepped away like a reflex, dropping his hand in a flash. His brows creased together while his senses buzzed with darkness growing at the edge of his vision, extending his hand back out to her,

“What is it….what’s wrong?”

Rey regarded his proffered hand, slowly lifting her own to look down upon her palm and gently stretching her fingers in and out. She let out a deep, shuddering sigh while her eyes fluttered closed as she whispered into the wind,

“How long?” 

Rey’s fingers curled into her palm and she tucked her fist to her beating heart as if she was trying to hold in it and prevent it from leaping forth from her rib cage. Ben blinked at her silently with his hand still extended and Rey couldn’t help but think of that moment…that kriffing moment when he silently pleaded for her to leave with him, long before she went past the point of no return with Armitage.

She was so stupid, so blind not to see. There were so many signs, so many ways that the Force tried to point her in the right direction. He’d kept his face hidden from her for so long, it suddenly became abundantly clear why,

“How long what, Stardust?” Ben pressed, his brows lifting into his hairline as he reached for her again. She kept her hand tucked to her chest and glanced down to his open hand before flitting back up to his bewildered face,

“How long have you known? This whole time? Is that why you kept yourself hidden from me?”

Ben stepped forward, ducking his head down to bring his gaze to meet hers, his eyes filling with guilt and regret,

“I couldn’t.”

“And why kriffing not? How…how much of this bantha fodder could I have avoided? Gods….” Rey turned away from him, her fingers curling firmly into her palm with a crack. She took a shuddering breath, knowing she’d never argue with her fists…not with him, but her words were about to pack a powerful punch. Lifting her gaze to meet his, she took a breath and carefully uttered, “You promised.”

Ben’s eyes flickered between hers as he stood in bewildered silence before her when Rey started again,

“You promised….you promised me only a stone’s throw away from here that you would protect me. Gods…the things that have happened…the things that have been taken from me…by _him_ ,” she shuddered, her skin prickling at the memory of the Armitage’s breath on her skin, “You haven’t the faintest idea of the pain I’ve been in this whole time. _You knew_ and still did nothing.”

“Rey…I…I’ve tried. I know you’ve been hurting. I’ve felt it…”

“Have you?” Rey fumed darkly with every single blackened memory simmering beneath the surface, “You have _no idea_ just how much.” 

The anger from her eyes let a glimpse of the scared little girl who was desperately alone on Jakku. The same girl who was forced to learn how to scavenge and fight in order to survive, the child who grew up starving and alone…left in a constant, dangerous state of hunger as her belly remained mostly empty and starved of the one thing she needed more than anything…the love she so desperately craved.

Was it any wonder that’s after all the pain she’d suffered that she would be tired of drowning in the exhausted and angry persona she’d carved for herself deep within the Goazan Badlands and would willingly go with a handsome stranger who promised to end it all?

Waves of fury smoldered in her eyes, her thoughts returning to all the broken promises and every atrocious act by her husband, relentless in her decision as she sent wave after brutal wave of every ounce of pain she’d suffered through the bond. She felt the darkness lick at the edges of her Light, converting her fury into something more powerful than she’d ever felt before. 

Ben shook with the weight of it, wavering slightly as he tried to breathe through it all. Every lonely night, each day she thought she might finally die of starvation, the pain she felt for days when she fell from a laser cannon in the starship graveyard. Rey sent wave after wave, giving him a taste of the fifteen years she’d suffered…filling the bond with each brutal blow her husband delivered and the cold emptiness that ached in her heart after he’d visit her bed. 

Ben’s balance began to waver, dropping to his knee with a shuddering grunt, wheezing slightly as he shakily rose his gaze to meet hers. Rey released her grip on their bond, taking a step back as Ben’s eyes darkened with a look that was pure Kylo Ren. He lifted a quaking hand to his knee and pressed himself to stand, his dark eyes nearly black as they bored into her,

“What about what I lost, huh Rey? I told you that you weren’t alone. Not in this. _Not ever_ ,” Ben seethed, drawing himself up to his full height and curling his fingers into his palm with a loud crack, “My parents. My life. My entire existence was taken from me. They turned me into a slave. Gods… _you_. I lost you too. I didn’t have the luxury of being able to forget.”

He vehemently returned the favor tenfold, sending his own torturous experience through the bond. Every ounce of grief that Snoke fanned the flames of, every happy memory poisoned, each of his padawan brothers he was forced to kill. 

Rey blinked rapidly as each searing memory came through the bond, making her knees quake but she remained stubbornly resolute while he sent wave after brutal wave. His own loneliness came through, sending a stray tear coursing down her cheek. Rey could see him in her mind’s eye, still a boy, tucked into a darken cell alone as he whispered out into the night,

_Don’t be afraid. I’m here. I will always be with you, even though we’re apart. I’ll follow you across the galaxy, Stardust. I swear._

She felt his anguish when the smoldering flame of the darkness that Snoke continued to stoke as the time wore on finally consumed the last bit of light left in him, destroying Ben Solo and cutting him off from his old life entirely. It was then that she was finally lost to him, along with everyone else he’d ever held dear, leaving only Kylo Ren in his place.

His pain didn’t end there.

Her vision shifted and her body trembled as she stood behind Ben…no…Kylo in the shadow of a menacing humanoid who sneered down at the still young man, long before he’d earned so many of his scars…a lost boy who only wanted to go home that no longer existed. He fire given to him by his parents burned in his eyes…a flicker of Ben Solo that still remained, but not for long,

_“You’ve done well in your training, with any luck, you’ll soon be able to join the ranks of my Order to be a scourge upon the galaxy.”_

_“I won’t be your tool,” Ben growled, sneering up at the golden-robed creature who towered over him._

_“Mmmm, it would seem you still have too much of your father’s heart in you, Young Solo and so much more to learn…”_

The pain came quickly, jolting through her in a sudden current of electric fire as the vision of Supreme Leader Snoke threw a shock of Force lighting careening through the vision of Ben. Both Rey and the memory of Ben crumbled to the ground as the pain overtook them, screaming as the white-hot agony coursed through her entire being. She tried to push back, to push him away and out of her mind but he was still so much stronger and more experience. 

The ground beneath them began to vibrate from the blinding amounts of energy emanating from the pair of them as their internal battle raged on. Suddenly, Ben came to his senses, letting the shadow of Kylo Ren fall away as they both laid merely steps from the other, completely spent on the jungle floor.

They gasped for breath, exhaustion leeching every spare ounce of energy that may have remained. Ben lifted his head from the soil, aching to meet her gaze and plead with her, to tell her he was sorry, that he’d never meant to hurt her…not like….not like _him_. 

“Rey…”

She slowly lifted her tear-strewn face, smattered with damp curls and dirt that blended in with the freckles, blinking away the echoes of pain that still continued to ricochet to the ends of her fingertips,

“Look at us…look at this mess we’ve made…” she whimpered with fresh tears making smooth tracks down her cheeks,

“No. Not us. This wasn’t you or me. This was _them_. Snoke. Hux. The First Order,” Ben murmured, his dark gaze unwavering as he continued to reason with her, “We can beat them. We have to. For all of the ones we lost…for us. _Together_.”

She blinked at him as he slowly reached out his bare hand, stretching his fingers towards her, a silent plea not dissimilar from the moment before her wedding when they both ached to leave and never go back. How she wished that she had known everything she knew now and made a different decision that could have saved them so much more heartache. 

No matter the pain that had happened in-between, Rey was starting to realize that it had all happened for a reason, and sprinkled between the horrific moments were blinding pieces of joy. Sparring with him in the training room until they were both breathless and laughing. Standing in the artificial starlight of their secret place. Echo Base. Flying the Millennium Falcon for the first time…. The ship that she only dreamed of flying when she was a little girl stood in front of her, and she had her dream come true alongside her greatest friend and confidante…Ben. 

Suddenly, now that the veil of her past had been lifted, everything was clear and held so much more meaning than it had only hours before. Life had been simpler then, it was true, but the only way they’d make it through was if they stayed together. Rey lifted her hand and reached out to slowly touch her fingertips to his, her chin trembling as their connection flooded with warmth, relief, and love…everything that they needed to feel from the other at that moment. 

Ben circled his long fingers around her wrist, pulling her from the dirt in a cloud of dust and crimson silk into his lap, folding her into his arms as he tucked his long nose into her hair. Rey curled her fingers into the fabric at his chest and breathed a heavy sigh,

“I didn’t mean to leave so quickly…stars, poor Poe…”

“You shook him up pretty good, Stardust…he knows now too and I bet he’s anxious to see you again and probably find out how much more of a potty mouth you’ve become since he taught you the basics,” Ben softly chucked. Rey was silent for a moment, slowly lifting her chin to meet his burning gaze,

“You followed me…you got here so quickly…how did you know?” she breathed, her voice barely a whisper. The corners of his mouth curled up every so slightly, inclining his head down to bring himself that much closer to her,

“I said no matter how far and I meant it.”

“For forever?”

Ben sighed, his heart aching while her words mirrored a conversation they’d had a lifetime ago when things were far simpler and still, Rey had an inkling of what was to befall them just a short time later. After everything and the hell they’d been put through together and the plans of others on the horizon, Ben was starting to see a way out for them. Through it all, he knew his promise would forever remain the same.

“For forever, Stardust.”

He took her her wrist in his hand, pressing a soft kiss to the freckled map of the stars imprinted on the soft flesh inside and slowly pulled the pair of them to their feet. Rey gave him an unsure smile as she followed him towards the Falcon, he heart skipping a beat when the echo of a memory echoed back through her mind, 

_“Elara, take her. GO, get on the shuttle and get outta here. There are more troopers coming, I’ll hold them off for as long as I can to give you enough time to make a clean getaway.”_

_“Han, no. I couldn’t possibly…what about you? What about Ben?”_

_“Yes, you can. You will. Ben can take care of himself and he would never forgive me if something happened to her. She is his light and we need to protect her…I wish I could see you grow up, kid. Take care of him. Now GO,”_

“Han,” Rey breathed, her mind suddenly reeling all over again with this new realization. She knew he was gone, but had gone all this time without knowing. Standing in the shadow of his beloved ship and seeing the face of his son made it all so heartbreakingly clear. Ben paused at the foot of the ramp, turning his gaze to her. Rey looked up at him with her eyes shining in the jungle sunlight, “He’s gone...b-because of me…”

Ben’s face melted into a mixture of acceptance and lingering grief, tucking his large hand under her chin to lift her eyes to meet his, 

“No. Don’t do that. He loved you. He did it to help us and we will honor his sacrifice, do you understand me?” his tone was firm, clearly letting her know that this wasn’t something he wanted to hear about again. He’d come to terms with the fact that his relationship with his father had been strained, but at the end, he’d truly given them his all so that they could stay together. It may have taken time, but here they were, their roads come back together after the years that had been stolen from them and Ben was determined to make the most of whatever time they had left. 

 

The ride back to Coruscant was quiet, Rey only murmuring a handful of words as she sat perched with her tattered crimson gown hanging in sheets from her knees in the co-pilot’s seat. She kept her knees tucked to her chest with her chin resting on her hands on top of them, her gaze soft and despondent as she looked out the half-moon transparasteel viewport. Every once in a while, the Empress would close her eyes with a sigh and Ben could feel the ache in her heart ripple out into the air around them.

He knew that things were bound to be different and burdensome to her now that all of her memories were fresh in her mind and she was free to fully grieve those that had been taken from her and he knew that he did nothing but help fuel it by adding his own pain to her own. The instantaneous guilt Ben felt threatened to consume him, licking at the edges of his light that still struggled to burn brighter as the days wore on but he pushed it back. Rey needed him. _Him_. Not Kylo.

Ben was sure that at some point, that part of him would be needed when it came to whatever fight was coming against the First Order. He was more than willing to sacrifice a bit of his Light and of Ben Solo if it meant helping his scavenger girl. No matter the cost, she would be free.  
After securely tucking the Falcon away, the pair of them quietly made their way back to the foot of the Imperial Palace as the light of Coruscant Prime began to dime behind the glittering landscape of Galactic City. Rey remained silent, so much more than her normal self, as they slowly walked down the seemingly endless hallways. 

Ben’s heart ached when she stood so far away from him in the lift, wishing that he could take back every ounce of hurt he’d foolishly caused her on her homeworld. He would have to think of something to make it up to her. 

They walked slowly side by side down the hall leading towards her quarters, as silent as ever and the air between them heavy with guilt and despair. Ben mashed his lips together as they came to a halt in front of her door and Rey turned to look up at him,

“I…uh…I’ll be nearby if you need me…” he swallowed thickly. 

Rey looked down at her feet, anxiously picking at a loose thread hanging from what was left of her gown,

“I’ll keep that in mind…”

She lifted her chin and met his forlorn gaze, his fingers twitching with the need to touch her and hold her so that they could both feel something that would tell them that everything would be alright. Ben slowly lifted his hand to brush the edge of his thumb across her cheek, but Rey quickly turned away, offering him only a sympathetic smile as she ducked inside the door and closed it with a hiss. 

He stood at her door for a few moments, hoping and praying that she’d change her mind and let him come in…let him show her how much it truly meant to him to have her back and how much he cared about, no…loved her. 

This was the day he’d been waiting for, for the Force to lift the dark curtain of her memories and finally put the dizzying confusion she’d been feeling aside. His feelings had been there from the beginning, whether he realized it or not.

He loved her back on Yavin, it was true, but it was different now. They were both different people now, shaped and groomed by the lives they been forced to live separately. Worlds apart, at different corners of the galaxy, each of them suffering their own trials but feeling the same kind of loneliness. 

True, their confrontation on the jungle moon wasn’t what Ben had pictured when he imagined her remembering their childhood spent together…it was a disappointing and somewhat worrisome beginning to what was after all this time…their destiny. 

He was determined to make up for it, to bring her back to the strong and confident girl she had developed into under his tutelage. The stubborn, beautiful, and powerful woman he adored who was his beamingly bright light in an otherwise darkened sky. 

Ben turned on his heel, the hint of the Solo smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth as he strode down the hall to his own quarters. He knew what he had to do.

 

_______________

 

Rey pressed her back against the cool gleam of the durasteel door, closing her eyes with a deep sigh. She could feel his presence on the other side of the door, lingering for moments before he finally walked away. Her heart ached with the guilt of making him leave and give her a moment’s peace to grapple with everything that had transpired in such a short time. 

Her parents. Her home. Him.

She let out a deep, shuddering breath, closing her eyes as her thoughts drifted back to every delicious shared moment with Kylo and all the ways he made her feel. There had always been a sense of familiarity between them and should couldn’t help but feel hurt when the initial overwhelming relief had faded with the setting sun. 

Both of them had overreacted in the face of the resentment that burned like liquid fire in her veins. In her mind, there were so many, many things that could have been avoided or stopped altogether if he had just come to her in the first place.

After the time and the parsecs ticked by on their return trip on the Falcon, Rey had shuffled through all of her thoughts, going over and over every detail of the time she had known Kylo, trying to pinpoint when things had been different. Perhaps, he had been suffering trying to figure out their connection in a similar way that she was…

Rey stepped forward towards the wall of windows in her quarters, pulling the crimson sleeves of her gown down past her wrists to finally rid herself of the ruined fabric. She curled her fingers around the ever so soft fabric that hung across the back of her lounge chair and wrapped the dark fabric around her bare flesh. Padding over the plush carpet with her bare feet, Rey tucked her toes under the silken sheet and curled the dark knit around her shoulders to snuggle into the softness of her bed and the comforting feeling the holy combination it provided.

His smell washed over her, miraculously lingering in the fabric’s weave after all this time. She nestled herself further into it as the overhead lights flicked off, leaving the room in hushed darkness with only the glimmering lights of Galactic City filtering in through the transparasteel wall. 

Rey buried herself in the smell, letting the calming ease it provided seep into her and quell her frazzled nerves from the day. The effect the fabric had on her…the effect his smell had on her…had been a mystery for her in the instantaneousness of it. But now, it suddenly was clear. She closed her eyes and pressed the fabric to her nose, inhaling deeply.

_Spices. Smoke. Earth._

The delectable combination wafted over her, sending a sweet shiver down her spine. There wasn’t any question about how Kylo had made her feel…should anything be different now that she knew it was Ben? Should she feel more because of their history, or something different because of what they’d gone through together?

It was all a bewildering blur and Rey knew she wouldn’t have the answers now, not by herself, anyway. She silently cursed Fate and the Force for doing this to them, for separating them when they needed each other most. Their love was strong, maybe strong enough to survive it, but they’d need to rebuild what was broken. Rey thought that, at some point, Fate would eventually tired of suffocating those in its clutches, eventually going numb and losing its grip on those it held onto so fiercely. Love was a powerful thing, but fate was an unstoppable fiend that wouldn’t let anything get in its way, no matter what it cost. 

Her eyes quickly grew heavy in the uncomplicated comfort that being wrapped in Ben…no, Kylo’s cowl provided her, freely falling into an easy sleep.

 

When Rey woke the next morning, the early morning sunlight streamed in like a canopy of gold, glinting off the tranparasteel windows of the speeders that blazed by in the cool air of the early hours. The darkness of the night surrendered in the vibrancy of the rising sun, every color between the towering sky rises shifting from tinges of grey to vibrant hues of gleaming golds and blues. She stretched her arms over her head to rid her limbs of the ache caused by her sound sleep with a wide yawn. Passing the same movement down to the tips of her toes, Rey swung her feet out of bed and tucked her bare toes of the plush carpet, letting the bright beams of morning light warm her from the outside in. 

What a wonderful feeling, to touch the light. She knew she had her own burning brightly inside her, but the light that the Maker gave to all other beings and gave life to everything else around the galaxy was a miraculous gift. Rey felt like that warmth that caressed her skin was a part of her and perhaps, inside, she was gleaming and golden like the sun…an incandescent flame that burned for not only herself but for others around her. Perhaps…she could give the gift of her light to Ben to feed his own and make it grow and battle the darkness he’d struggled with for so long. The thought of him achieving balance unto himself warmed her heart more than the sunlight that cascaded in from the transparasteel. 

Rey reluctantly drew the dark fabric of Kylo’s cowl…Ben’s cowl…from her bare skin, delighting in the delicious way it brushed against her freckled flesh, wishing it was him who was giving her that feeling instead. She lifted her eyes to the table next to her favorite chair and smiled to herself when she saw that her favorite breakfast had already been delivered with a steaming cup of caf. The starving little scavenger inside her beamed with effervescent excitement as Rey slid her arms through the silken fabric of her robe, tying it at her waist as she strode over and tucked herself snugly against the back of the chair.

She tucked her hands against the wonderfully warm porcelain, lifting the mug to her nose to glory in the way the steam rose from the piping hot liquid to tickle her nose. Slowly tipping it upwards, Rey slowly sipped the caf and let out a quiet hum as the and slightly bitter with a hint of sweet flavor coated her tongue as she marveled how she ever existed without caf in her life before now. 

Ever the hungry little girl, Rey dove into her breakfast, devouring the scrumptious meats and delectable fruits that were piled on the tray. When her hunger was beyond satiated, the Empress tucked her feet under her hips with a smile when she saw the telltale piece of parchment tucked under one of the now empty plates. She tugged it out from under the heavy ceramic and slowly unfolded it to let her eyes linger over the elegantly swirling script,

_Stardust,_  
I know that words won’t fix the pain I caused you yesterday, only adding to the heartbreak and agony you had already felt. I wish I could say sorry and make it easy for you to forgive me…you always were one who favored actions rather than words. Meet me tonight and let me show you. Let’s be together without any other commitments or duties.   
No Empress.  
No Kylo.  
Just you and me.   
Let’s find out who we are now, together, after all this time. 

_-Ben_

After reading a second page full of instructions and a location she’d never heard of, Rey tucked the paper to her chest with a small smile, the corners of her eyes crinkling at the contents of the note. She knew things weren’t going to be easy between them, they never had been. They’d always been complicated, drawn to each other from the beginning but still separated through pure circumstance. As time wore on, it seemed that the pair of them cared less and less about the consequences of it all. The Force kept pushing them towards each other, so why shouldn’t they?

The realization of their shared history changed things in ways that she didn’t expect. Rey had her version of Ben and the memories they’d shared together on Yavin IV, but without knowing any of them upon meeting Kylo Ren, she held a different idea of him entirely. This…not quite new, yet new all the same….information addled her mind. How could she set aside her idea of the man she’d gotten to know and care for…maybe even love…to make room for the boy in her memories? Would she be able to find the balance between the dark knight and the boy who held her heart as a little girl? Pressing the paper to her lips with a soft hum, she wondered if tonight she may be able to find out for herself. 

Rey tried to bide her time as the day wore on, pacing the halls of the palace and hiding in the Room of a Thousand Fountains with the book he had given her, easily enraptured with the description of different plants from the far reaches of the galaxy. 

When the light of Coruscant Prime finally started to dim, it sent blazing flares of orange and gold ricocheting between the gleaming transparasteel surfaces of the towering buildings that stretched as far as the eye could see. With the sky set ablaze, a silent promise hung in the air…a promise of tomorrow and everything that the new rising sun would bring with it once the land had its nightly rest.

Rey’s feet excitedly carried her down the swirling staircase to her expansive wardrobe where she walked the length of garments, trailing her fingers over each one until she found one befitting of what the evening ahead of her promised to give. 

She slipped the creamy white fabric over her hips and up and over a single shoulder. It hugged her body deliciously, rising from her knees and kissing the slight curves of her coltish frame in all the right places, coming across the curve of her breasts to draw an asymmetrical strap from her chest around the outside of her shoulder. Like the way Kylo’s kisses felt when he peppered her gleaming, golden skin, the dress ignited her senses and conveyed just how desirable he made her feel. 

Trying to emulate Kylo’s skilled fingers, Rey twisted her chestnut hair into a braid that followed the curve of her hair like a crown, the way she always remembered his mother wearing her own hair. 

She lined her lips with a deep, dusty pink, a color she’d become fond of wearing since she arrived at the palace, accentuating the natural hue of her own pout, and slipped a pair of impossibly high silver shoes on her feet before slipping back up the stairs.

Mere moments later, with Kylo’s cowl wrapped around her shoulder, Rey slipped out one of the back entrances of the palace to get into the inconspicuous speeder Poe had left out just for her. With a grin, she flipped off her shoes and climbed behind the yolk, jetting off into the Coruscant night sky. 

Following the coordinates that her old friend, the pilot, had plugged into the Navicomputer, Rey rocketed between the towering skyscrapers of the upper levels, gradually coming to a halt on a landing pad outside of a high rise hotel: The Karelia Queen.

Rey slipped her gleaming silver shoes back on her feet and slid her toes down to the platform, thankful for the deep slit that traveled up her thigh that made it easy to climb in and out of the speeder. Stepping along the landing platform, Rey walked through a glittering doorframe and into a crowded room. 

There were enough people inside that she could meld into the crowd and just be another one of the faces, moving as easily past each stranger like the sweet-smelling smoke that wafted through the air. The lights were dimmed, with glowing orbs set in glorious technicolor, casting a playful glow across the throng of people milling happily about in the cavernous hall. To the far right against a row of windows was a long bar, softly backlit from the floor up with a series of bright purple stools lining the base. Rey’s eyes widened as the music playing in the background overtook her, completely taken in by the muted colors of the bottles that lined the shelves behind the bar and multicolored glassware glittering from the hands of the patrons. There were hundreds of conversations being told in loud voices, competing with the music that emanated from a droid in the corner. 

Rey breathed a sigh of relief, a smile splitting her face as she realized the genius of Ben’s choice in bringing her here. They were far enough away from the Palace District, tucked into the fold of the crowd that she was sure that no one would recognize the face of their Empress amongst them.

She wandered her way through the throng of warm bodies, striding up to the bar to order a drink…any drink when she felt someone melting their body into hers from behind, leaning their head down to growl deeply in her ear,

“You should get the Wyren’s Reserve, I’ve heard they’ve got an excellent batch on hand,”

Rey lifted her eyes to the resplendent man standing behind her, a smile tugging at her lips as she took in his appearance. Ben looked happy and relaxed with the signature Solo smirk on full display as he leaned a single elbow on the bar and cross one foot over the other oh-so-casually. He looked impeccably sharp in a finely tailored black velvet jacket that shimmered in the colorful lights and a dark undershirt that hung slightly open, revealing just enough of his firm chest to make her fingers ache to touch it. 

Ben motioned for the bartender, ordering a double of the famed Corellian whiskey before looking down at her expectantly. Rey shrugged and captured her bottom lip between her teeth,

“I’ll have what he’s having.”

Colorful glasses in hand, the pair of them wandered to an open pair of seats at the far end of the bar. Rey pulled herself up into the stool, whereas Ben sat easily from his higher vantage point. Finally face to face after everything that had happened the day before, the events still hanging heavy in the air between them.

Rey crossed one leg over the other, exposing a vast expanse of her leg with the help of the slit and she couldn’t help but notice Ben swallow thickly with a lick of his plush lips before quickly darting his eyes away. She swirled the amber around her glass in slow circles, listening intently to the sound of the ice as it clinked against the walls of the glass, slowly inhaling the peppery scent of the whiskey inside. Maybe if she sat staring at the bottom of the glass for long enough, she’d start to find the answers there. There was one way to find out. 

Growing up with water as such a precious commodity, Rey wasn’t one for drinking any sort of alcohol and had only dabbled in a sip or two of Daruvvian champagne at Palace functions. She raised the glass to her pink lips and took a tentative sip, letting the crisp, woody taste wash over her tongue. She closed her eyes and dwelled on the flavor, before fluttering them open with a lick of her lips,

“That was much better than I expected,” she laughed, suddenly so much lighter after just a sip. 

Ben easily returned the smile and raised his own glass to her,

“To the old times. The new times. And everything in-between and beyond.”

Rey took a shallow breath before meeting his with a musical _clink_ before bringing the drink back to her lips. 

The time ticked by and the crowd began to dwindle as the stack of empty glasses in front of them grew. They talked about everything and anything….anything except what actually needed to be said. It was a different change of pace for them, just being Ben and Rey without the added weight of the entire galaxy resting on their shoulders. No Emperor. No First Order or Resistance. No family legacy to uphold. 

Rey could feel her body buzzing from the effects of the legendary Corellian whiskey. Her body moved more fluidly, always a little further than she intended, laughing a little louder and smiling a little wider with each sip that passed her lips. Ben, while still affected, was less so with his added size and experience. He still stood steady like a pillar, unwavering as he polished off another glass,

“Y’know, my father used to drink this. It’s made on the world where he was born. Corellia,” he prattled, blinking slowly like the lights began to shift around him.

Rey let out a loud laugh that echoed above the steady din of the music, letting out a tiny hiccup in the process,

“Ben, I know….I used to hang on his every word…remember?” she wobbled forward, sliding off her stool straight into him. 

The air between them was suddenly sobering with her palms pressed against his chest and his arms wrapped firmly in the hard, corded muscle of his arms. Rey blinked up at Ben as he caged his long fingers around her waist, easily lifting her feet from the floor to place her back onto her stool. 

Rey was breathless, the fuzz clearing from her head as she reached up to splay his finger out against the bare skin of his chest, looking up at him through her lashes as she curled her hands around the fabric and pulled her between her legs and against her stool,

“Ben…” she whispered, tilting her face towards him with her lips parted.

He looked down at her, chewing on his lips as he took a deep breath through his nose,

“I want to…I’ve been waiting for this…for you…I wanted you to know me.”

“I _have_ known you. I _do_ know you. I want to know _more_ ,” Rey pressed in, placing a featherlight kiss against his the scar the bisected his cheek. 

Ben let out a strangled growl, pulling away to drag his fingers through his hair,

“Rey, listen. _I want to_ , trust me...just not like this. This isn’t what I had planned when I brought you here…”

“What did you have planned, then?”

He let out a soft chuckle with a shake of his head and a sheepish smile,

“It’s stupid…”

“Not to me,” Rey looked up at him expectantly, her fingers still curled around the dark fabric of his shirt,

“I kept thinking about that first night on Ahch-to…after…after the Guavian Death Gang, when I healed you and…Rey, I’ve never slept so well in…ever. I’ve never slept so well as I did when you were in my arms. All I wanted tonight was to _spend time with you_. Away from the palace, without anyone watching. Just me and you.”

Rey blinked up at him, any disappointment evaporating instantly in the warmth of his pleading look and sweet request. Deep down in her heart, she knew she wanted the same thing. To feel at home and safe like they used to be for each other oh so long ago,

“Okay.”

Ben’s face lifted into a wide, lopsided smile as he curled his fingers around her wrist to press a kiss to her map of the stars inside before tangling his fingers with hers and leading her to the far end of the room. 

They waited hand-in-hand at the closed doors of a turbolift, quietly waiting for it to arrive to take them upstairs to a waiting room. Rey looked up at him with a wide smile before anxiously capturing her lip between her teeth.

It had always been written in their gaze, that unexplainable pull that was there from the beginning…this seed of love. Ben looked down at her, still in disbelief that after all this time, they found each other once more. He reached up to brush a stray curl from her face, letting his gaze linger on the braided crown atop her head,

“I like this…” he smiled, his eyes twinkling with a fond sort of sadness before bringing his attention back to her, instantly getting lost in the stardust swirled amongst the green in her eyes, the palpable silence between them full of so much more than what mere words would ever begin to say. 

The doors hissed open and Ben pulled her inside in a flash and pressed her against the wall inside, grazing his mouth against the expanse of golden freckled skin along her shoulder. Rey let out a whimper, melting beneath his hot mouth as she snaked her arms around his shoulders. Ben heard her silent plea to be closer and happily obliged, lifting her into his arms. Rey circled her legs around his waist as he pressed her further into the wall, devouring her soft moans with his mouth. 

So lost in the other’s embrace, neither Ben or Rey noticed the curly-haired blonde watching from a quiet table in the corner, the beginnings of a slow grin melting onto her face as the lift doors _finally_ slid to a close. 

 

_______________

 

When Callista Cass walked into the Imperial Palace for the first time, as the daughter of a Kuati senator, she knew that she belonged there. It was an easy fit for the Core World girl, blending seamlessly with Coruscanti society when she had been born and bred with the same set of expectations of any who lived inside the towering ziggurat. 

She strode down those same halls now, a smug, self-satisfied smile plastered on her face. She finally had what she needed in her hands…something to finally earn her place here… _permanently_. Now that she had the perfect tool, it was only a matter of time when _all this_ became hers.

It had been over a year since the day she sat waiting expectantly for Emperor Hux to arrive on Kuat to meet with her father and make the arrangements for their wedding…the wedding that would make her Empress of the First Order. Her father had always been a loyal supporter of the Empire and patiently bided his time until the First Order came to power. He’d earned his place of power, so it was the logical choice for Callista to ascend to her rightful place next to Armitage. 

The hours ticked by and the Emperor never came. Her father insisted that something important must have come up and that he was promised a favor for their trouble. When it turned out that the important thing that held up her marriage negotiations turned out to be a disgusting desert rat who was taking her rightful place on the throne, Callista’s disgust and heartbreak were palpable. 

Callista patiently waited for her turn, knowing from the very beginning that there was no way that this “People’s Empress” would ever come anywhere close to the caliber of a high bred woman like her. 

When the emperor finally called upon her father to honor his promised favor, Callista knew it was time. 

She wasn’t stupid, she could tell right away that there was something between the desert rat and her so-called bodyguard. They were careful, but Callista knew if she just waited long enough…eventually they’d slip up and she’d get what she needed. 

Striding down the hall, Callista confidently held her chin high when she stepped up to the door that was flanked by a pair of faceless guards in red,

“I have an important message, he’s expecting me,” she sniffed with a snide smile.

The guards lifted their weapons from in front of the door that proceeded to slide open with a soft hiss. She stepped inside, completely sure that what she had tucked into her palm would be the gateway to everything she ever dreamed of having. 

Standing at the far side of the room was a man with his back turned to her. His hands were clasped behind his back as he gazed out the transparasteel windows to the glittering cityscape outside,

“Well?”

Callista took a steady step forward and took a deep breath with a smile,

“I have what you wanted.”

He silently reached out his palm expectantly without turning his gaze to meet hers. Callista quickly placed the round holopad into his waiting hand and took a respectful step back.

With a press of his thumb, the blue-hued image flickered to life in all it’s condemning glory. Callista couldn’t help but let out a triumphant giggle when she looked at the image she’d captured only minutes before,

“My my, the Empress certainly has been busy while I’ve been away, hasn’t she?” Armitage Hux slowly turned to face her, his pale face light up with the eerie blue glow provided by the image of his wife wrapped up in the arms of Kylo Ren. 

Callista waited patiently as the Emperor remained cool and calm before he lifted his icy blue eyes to meet hers,

“Ms. Cass, you’ve done well, I do believe that you’ve earned yourself a reward…”

Her face melted into a smile as she stepped closer to him, lifting her hands to place them upon his cleanly pressed black lapels,

“There’s only one thing in this world that I want,” she purred, looking up at him through her lashes, “You.”

Armitage let out a low hum as his eyes darkened, capturing her hand with his own to press a featherlight kiss to her knuckles,

“I do believe that can be arranged.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh!! Reunited and it feels so good! 
> 
> Thank you all for the continued love and support of this fic that I hold so dear to my heart!! Every comment and kudos bring the biggest smile to my face!!! 
> 
> We are on a roll here, so expect an exciting up date SOON!!!
> 
> Come say hi on [Tumblr](Kaybohls.tumblr.com) and [Twitter](Twitter.com/kaybohls)
> 
> There’s also a Stardust playlist! [Come take a listen!](https://itunes.apple.com/us/playlist/stardust/pl.u-kv9lRRLtbN5op)
> 
> One of these days, I’ll make a track listing with details of what song belongs to which scene!! The music fuels my brain, so every song has a moment!! 
> 
> THANK YOU for reading and I’ll see you again soon!!  
>  xoxo KB


	16. Sunder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey knew all about waiting. She’d done it all her life. Her trust in Ben was absolute…if he said he was going to be there…he would be. 
> 
> Her patience paid off only moments later when she heard steady footsteps approach from behind, each step sending the sound of the coarse soil out to blend into the ambiance of the room. Rey let out a content sigh, snagging her lip between her teeth as he slowly snaked his arms around her waist,
> 
> “You’re late,” she breathed, a single, solitary shiver ricocheting down to her toes. The corners of her mouth curved up and her eyelashes fluttered closed when she felt his warm breath on her ear,
> 
> “Sorry I’ve kept you waiting, Flower,”
> 
> Rey’s eyes shot open in a flash, barely afforded a moment to react when a pair of heavy binders were snapped onto her wrists, sending her reeling as a completely foreign feeling of nothingness settled over her like an icy cloud. She wavered for a moment, slowly turning on her heel to meet the cold gaze of her husband before stumbling to her knees.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/144005946@N02/47702670551/in/dateposted-public/)

 

Rey could feel the morning light streaming in from the transparasteel windows of the high rise but was reluctant to accept any of the warmth that the dazzling light had to offer. Not when she was folded so deliciously against a warm expanse of granite whose steady rise and fall begged to lull her back to sleep with each breath he took. She snuggled herself further against Ben’s chest, tucking her arm more snugly across the firm cords of muscle next to her.

Their bodies fit seamlessly together, melding as one, flesh against scorching flesh, becoming one as they drifted off into an easy slumber encompassed in each other’s arms. All her life, alone in her fallen walker, Rey had slept alone with only the shrill howls of the desert wind to keep her company. She’d been beaten, broken and lonelier than any little girl should have been. Her life didn’t change much as she grew, especially not after she married into the Imperial Palace. If anything, she became more of an empty shell of herself, just in a more comfortable bed. 

Right now, folded against Ben Solo’s chest, she didn’t feel alone anymore. She finally felt whole, like a part of something she somehow knew she belonged to, a matching puzzle piece, a twin flame born in the heart of the same star. Rey knew in her heart, just by the sound of his heartbeat beneath her cheek that they’d forever defend the other and keep them safe, no matter what it cost them. 

They’d fallen into each other’s arms in a breathless flurry of limb and lips, fueled by the famed Corellian whiskey they’d both been partaking in in the high rise hotel’s bar. Tumbling into the luxurious room that Ben had acquired, they’d barely had time to admire the view from the four-thousandth level when he pressed her body against the transparasteel and curled her legs around his middle. She breathlessly whimpered as he left a trail of blazing kisses across her shoulders to her throat, digging her fingers into the fabric of his velvet jacket to tear it from his broad shoulders. 

Things only escalated from there, their clothing unceremoniously finding its way to the floor in a heap as they drunkenly weaved their way to the wide bed, a messy tangle of hands and feet yet somehow, their mouths never faltered from each other. 

Rey could have been disappointed that Ben so gallantly honored his word about not taking advantage of her in this state, but he filled the void where any of her frustrations lingered with an endless parade of…gifts that he gave over and over with his dexterous fingers and possessive mouth that barely let her have a moment’s rest between the feverish waves of molten pleasure that left her practically boneless beneath him as the time ticked by. 

She could stay here in this moment forever with him if she could, but there were so many foreboding conflicts that hung precariously ahead of them that she knew they wouldn’t be able to avoid forever. Rey didn’t know what lay ahead for them and what it meant for any sort of future they may have if they were lucky enough to get one. With her cheek pressed contentedly against his porcelain skin, Rey knew only one thing for sure. If in the whole, cold expanse of the galaxy, if love was enough, Rey and Ben had it all. They hadn’t dared say it out loud but she saw it when she looked at him…her heart’s truth reflected back in the warm amber swirls of his eyes. Ben was the spark to her flame, the dark to her light…her balance and he was the one who kept the beamingly bright light inside her burning as incandescently when all logic said it should have been extinguished long ago. 

Rey lifted her eyes to drift to his face. Ben’s features were so much softer in sleep, the hard lines that creaked his perpetually stern face were replaced by the youthful face of the boy she knew on Yavin IV. The way he was now, none of the troubles or darkness he held were shown in his expressive features. Rey understood more than ever why he had kept his face covered for so long…Ben Solo’s face was like a book, with every thought easily perceptible in every crease…instead, he looked peaceful, resting well now that they were together. He may as well have gone these fifteen years without a proper night’s rest with all the horrors he’d witnessed or been a part of during his young life. 

She wanted nothing more than to stay with him and meld into his body further still. Tucking her cheek back against his steady, beating heart, Rey splayed her fingers out against his skin, smiling as her head swayed with the rhythmic rise and fall of his slow breathing. She couldn’t help but trail her fingers in gentle streams across his chest, slowly connecting the spaces between his beauty marks and the scars that marred his alabaster skin. 

Rey couldn’t resist when her hand trailed up to the long scar the began on his collar bone and journeyed up his cheek, running her fingers along the jagged scar before wandering to his mouth, holding her breath as her fingertips linger against his impossibly plush lips. Ben began to stir, letting out a deep rumbling groan as he circled his arms around her and pulled her with him to burrow deeper into the covers. Rey let out an effervescent giggle as she laid chest to check with him under the plush blankets, the desert girl inside her more than happy to stay tucked into the delicious warmth for as long as she could, but the hungry little scavenger won out when her stomach grumbled loudly. 

Her fingers crawled up his chest to trace a small line across his mouth, pulling on his taught lip before pressing a small kiss against them,

“Ben,” she whispered, circling the tip of her nose around the end of his, she placed another kiss on top of the first, “Food. Please.”

He let out a deep grumble, reaching up to cover his eyes with his impossibly taut arms, his bemoaning incoherent as Rey giggled from her perch alongside him,

“ _Ben_ …”

Grousing loudly once more, he scrunched his brows together as he cracked a single eyelid to peek at her,

“Is that all you think about?”

“I grew up starving and alone in the desert…so yes. I always think about food…and other things too, from time to time,” she hummed, trailing her fingers against his alabaster chest. Ben opened both his eyes, suddenly more alert as she pressed her body closer against him, relishing in the feeling of her warm thighs pressed against his rapidly growing erection. Her hands drifted lower and lower until she dipped her fingers below his waistband, gently circling around his girth, sending a strangled groan tumbling from his lips as she leisurely gave him a slow pump with a slow smile curling across her face, “Actually, I think about… _other things_ quite frequently….”

“Rey,” he croaked as she moved her grip along the velvety flesh, eliciting more explicit sounds from his mouth one right after the other as he tipped his head back into the pillow, “You…you don’t have to…”

“ _I want to_ ,” she purred, continuing her delicious ministrations, her lips parting as she watched his face, entranced by the flicker of reactions that swept across his expressive features, “I want to say thank you for how you’ve made _me_ feel…”

Rey pulled herself up to his mouth, eager to devour the mouthwatering sounds that escaped his impossibly kissable lips over and over again as her hand was unceasing in its playful exploration until, with a deep, shuddering groan, Ben tumbled over his peak, caging her head in his palm to lay a languorous kiss on her mouth,

Ben was nearly incoherent as he breathlessly growled something about water, he caged her in his strong arms, yanking her from the downy blankets and threw her over his shoulder with a surprised squeal. 

After letting a delicious stream of nearly scalding hot water kiss her electrified skin for what felt like ages, Rey’s stomach began to call her relentlessly now that her other hunger had been momentarily satiated as Kylo worshiped her body with his mouth over and over under the spray. She beamed as she stepped out of the ‘fresher, wrapping herself in a silken, peridot robe as her gaze was drawn to a magnificent spread of food that was waiting for them. 

Tucking her feet under her in a wide, impossibly plush chair, Rey tore into the feast, snatching a deep purple piece of fruit to bring to her lips. Her teeth broke the skin with a snap, an icy sweetness filling her mouth as she let out a content hum, leaning her head back with her eyes closed as she leisurely licked her lips clean,

“Make any more of those noises and I’m going to start getting a little jealous, Princess,” a deep rumble rang out from the doorway beside her. Rey’s eyes flashed open and nearly dropped the fruit in her lap at the sight before her. 

Ben stepped out of the ‘fresher in a cloud of billowing steam, barely covered by the laughably small towel he casually held at his waist. Rey’s lips parted softly in a quiet gasp as her eyes roved over him. True, she’d seem him…mostly…but now, with his alabaster skin damp from the water and his dark hair slicked back over his head, Rey suddenly couldn’t think about breakfast any longer.

Gawking wouldn’t quite cover her new state of being as she slowly put the fruit back onto the tray while she slowly captured her lip between her teeth. Ben was a living work of art, made up of endless hard sections of muscle carved from the purest marble, every inch of him a temptation to touch. 

Ben could see the ravenous look in her eye as he pressed forward, leaning down to press a lingering kiss against her mouth,

“I thought you were hungry, you’ve barely eaten a thing…” he nodded at the mostly untouched breakfast feast,

“Well…I was…I am…but not for food. Not anymore,” a slow smile curled up from the corners of Rey’s mouth as she reached up to curl her fingers around the corner of the towel. Ben captured her hand with his own and pulled her breathlessly to him, devouring her mouth in a searing kiss that was over as quickly as it began. He pressed his forehead against hers with a sigh and softly growled,

“Tonight.”

Rey pulled away, caging her lip between her teeth once more as a delirious grin threatened to break free across her face,

“Are you sure?”

Ben gave her a lopsided grin as he silenced her with another kiss,

“More than anything. I wish I could stay, but there’s something I need to do…look for my note, would you?”

Rey was breathless with wild anticipation as she quietly nodded, curling up into the wide chair as she watched in awe as Ben slowly dressed, letting out a quiet sigh as his deft fingers worked their way up his chest with each tiny button and the thick, corded muscle of his arms slipped through the sleeves of his velvet dinner jacket from the night before. 

Ben’s hand hesitated for a single moment on the doorframe, lifting the warm amber of his gaze to meet hers, letting out a deep breath as the corner of his mouth melted up into a tiny, lopsided smile,

“I love you, Stardust.”

Rey’s heart swelled as an exhilarating shiver made its way down to the tips of her fingers and a trembling gasp tumbled from her lips. The sound of his declaration was musical, like poetry to her ears. She wasn’t shocked…part of her always knew it was there, woven deep in the thread that had connected them over space and time. A slow smile spread across her face as she tucked her knees to her chest,

“I know.”

Ben let out a soft chuckle, a melodic, yet usual sound coming from the dark knight, a sound that Rey knew was reserved just for her. He took his dark hair with a grin and a wink before stepping out of sight and down the hall. 

Rey let out a contented hum as she leaned back in the chair, snuggling into the softness as she looked out at the gleaming high rises that glittered in the morning light of Coruscant Prime. Absentmindedly tracing the line of her lip with the edge of her thumb with an easy smile, she happily let her mind drift to the extraordinary events that were going to unfold in just a few short hours and all the new sensations she was going to experience.

 

Just a few hours later, Rey paced the halls of the Palace, anxiously waiting for some sort of sign from Ben about the evening to come, her thoughts drifting helplessly to all the things they’d done the night before and that morning. Her body practically buzzed with excitement as her mind thrummed with the infinite possibilities, more than she could be conscious of in any one moment, yet still she tried…swimming in a delicious frisson of electricity as her hands wandered down the glittering white bodice of her gown, sparkling like the freshly fallen snow over Echo Base. 

Elegant, as ever, and still somehow reflecting herself, Rey wanted to look beautiful. They’d toed the line for so long, she couldn’t help but want everything to be perfection on this night that would be remembered for the rest of their lives. The glimmering fabric started at a fine point at the center of her delicate collarbones, with wide sections crisscrossing over her chest to hug the outside curve of her shoulders. It hugged her body in the best ways, flaring out ever so slightly at her hip to float down to her feet in gossamer waves. With just a hint of makeup and her heart swept up into an elegant series of twists along the back of her head, Rey was feeling like the balance of who she’s become…someone between the scavenger girl and the elegant empress. 

The time had ticked by into the late afternoon and Rey had nearly enough of wandering aimlessly around while she waited, so she gave up for the moment to travel aimlessly back to her quarters. Her heart still fluttered in breathless anticipation as the doors slid open with a hiss but quickly was taken over by a sour pit in her stomach that grew in the sniveling smile of Callista Cass,

“I thought I told you that if I needed you, I would call?” Rey sniffed, lifting her chin with a stony look in her eye.

“Empress,” the curly-haired blonde dipped her head, friendlier than she’d ever seen her before, “I have something for you…Beedee was bringing it for you but I was close by so I offered…” she held out a slim object in her hand with a tentative smile.

Rey raised a single eyebrow as her gaze traveled up and down the snobby, Core World girl. This girl wouldn’t go out of her way to do something just because…something surely wasn’t right…Her eyes were drawn to the object, thin and small…square around the edges…

Her curiosity piqued, Rey held out her hand expectantly and stayed silent as her arm bent under the weight of it. She tucked it under her arm and brought her gaze cooly back to Callista,

“Thank you for delivering it safely. That will be all, Ms. Cass.”

The blonde dipped her head once more with a simpering smile that Rey could see straight through, sashaying past the Empress and out the door.

Rey waited until the door slid closed with a hiss before animatedly running her hands over the deep blue cover of her new book. She knew without a doubt who it was from and instantly cracked open the pages to find what he said to look for, flipping through the book frantically until it fell out at her feet. 

Her heart instantly felt lighter as her eyes flittered over the elegant script written in swirling scrolls on the parchment,

_No time like the present, Princess. Meet me in our place, I’ll be waiting._

_-Ben_

Rey pressed the note to her lips with a smile, her eyes fluttering closed as her heart rate accelerated and a frisson of goosebumps trembled down her entire body. She didn’t waste any time, quickly flying down the hall to the turbolift where she anxiously waited for the doors to open and take her to the floors below. She bounced on the balls of her feet once she was inside, her anticipation palpable as the hum of the lift brought her closer to what awaited her in the Room of a Thousand Fountains. The moment she’d been anticipating, spellbound by every feeling that came before it, was so close she could almost taste it…the feeling of their bodies finally coming together to declare themselves to each other in ways where mere words and other actions hopelessly failed. 

She tried to keep her steps under control while striding the rest of the way to the intricately carved doors to their special place but couldn’t contain the lightness of her tread. 

Rey slowed when she reached the door, anxiously peering around her to make sure she wasn’t followed before pressing it forward and disappearing into the darkened hall on the other side. Her senses were instantly taken over by the room that brimmed with life, unable to contain her excitement any longer as her feet swiftly carried her to the center of the walkway at the base of the waterfall that was the room’s heart. 

Her eyes darted around the space as she waited, the minutes ticking by like hours and still…no Ben. She took a deep breath to try and center herself…he would come…she was sure of it.

*

Ben ambled down one of the endless hallways of the Imperial Palace with the deep blue book tucked against his chest, hoping that his face wouldn’t give away the anxious anticipation that his thundering heartbeat was sure to convey. 

He scanned the halls for Rey’s droid, BD-3000 in hopes that the oblivious thing would be able to deliver his gift to her as soon as she could. Pressing his lips together in a firm line, Ben tried to quell the burning fire in his belly as his thoughts drifted to that morning…and the night before…and all the times before that where he and his scavenger girl so precariously toed the line between something and _everything_. 

She finally knew…he got what he wanted…and now, all she had to do was say the word and he would be hers completely. 

Ben couldn’t help but feel the corner of his mouth bend up into a semblance of a smile when he nearly collided with a breathless blonde who careened around the corner. He righted her with his hands on her shoulders and pressed his brows together in confusion when a flicker of recognition passed over her features,

“OH, Lord Ren, thank the Maker!” she breathed, out of breath like she’d been running to find him, “You must hurry, it’s the empress, something’s happened!”

The uncontrollable protective nature he had over Rey kicked into high gear as the blonde spun on her heel when he nodded, cantering down the hallway as he followed her dizzying pace. She tumbled into a darkened room ahead of him and Ben slid in after her, coming to an abrupt halt in the pitch black in front of his eyes,

“Where is she?” Ben thundered, his fury filling the room as the darkness started to simmer beneath the surface,

“That’s not for you to know…” a female voice called out from the dark before he heard a sharp clang and a sudden piercing pain on the back of his head. 

*

Rey knew all about waiting. She’d done it all her life. Her trust in Ben was absolute…if he said he was going to be there…he would be. Wringing her hands nervously, Rey tried to quell the uneasy feeling that grew in the pit of her stomach by losing herself in the center of the bright burning beams of life that emanated from each plant, flower, and fern around her. She tried to empty her mind and enjoy the peace that the room provided while she bided her time until he arrived. 

Her patience paid off only moments later when she heard steady footsteps approach from behind, each step sending the sound of the coarse soil out to blend into the ambiance of the room. Rey let out a content sigh, snagging her lip between her teeth as he slowly snaked his arms around her waist,

“You’re late,” she breathed, a single, solitary shiver ricocheting down to her toes. The corners of her mouth curved up and her eyelashes fluttered closed when she felt his warm breath on her ear,

“I’m sorry I’ve kept you waiting, Flower,”

Rey’s eyes shot open in a flash, barely afforded a moment to react when a pair of heavy binders were snapped onto her wrists, sending her reeling as a completely foreign feeling of nothingness settled over her like an icy cloud. She wavered for a moment, slowly turning on her heel to meet the cold gaze of her husband before stumbling to her knees. 

Landing hard in the soil, Rey struggled to mentally find her footing, the energy of the room around her evaporating in a flash like a rug had been pulled out from under her. The fine hairs on her arms stood on end as her body floundered, leaving her gasping for air as she tried to catch up to whatever Armitage had done to her.

The ginger crouched down next to her, reaching up to smooth a stray hair from her face. Rey’s initial reaction was to flinch away from his touch, but her body reacted slowly, her head pounding and every cell in her body begging for oxygen,

“Do you like my new toy?” Hux crooned, a smug smile melting on to his face that didn’t reach his cold, blue eyes, “I’ve had a little bird watching you for some time, Flower. She tells me that you’ve….developed…some new tricks. Lucky for me, the First Order has kept these on hand in case I needed a leash for my guard dog, but it seems you’ve kept him on one for me…”

Rey could feel like cold, slimy fingers of her fear worm its way up her spine, squeezing her neck with every ounce of strength it held over her as she struggled to catch her breath. The walls of her mind were closing in, the vast openness the Force gave her collapsing in on itself, overwhelming her from the inside out as her world grew dark now that she could no longer tap into the iridescent and interwoven beams of energy that connected all life together. 

She clawed at the soil beneath her, trying to reach out for him, to feel their connection that had been ever-present nearly their entire lives, letting out a shuddering gasp when she felt nothing, just the black void that covered her like a blanket. The nothingness was heavy and oppressive, burying everything in its path, leaving no room for light. It bit into her skin, but didn’t leave any marks, tearing away at her flesh and leaving her feeling an emptiness she never imagined,

“Ben,” Rey rasped as tears began to spill from her eyes.

“Ahh, yes. _Ben_. You know, here I was thinking we’d rid the galaxy of the Skywalker and Jedi scum so long ago, but to find out that our long-departed Supreme Leader Snoke had one tucked away all this time is rather…disappointing…I’ve been feeling a lot of that lately, Flower, can you tell me why?” the Emperor made slow circles around her with his hands clasped behind his back, staring down at her expectantly as she caught her breath at his feet. When she didn’t answer, he continued,

“On top of that _glorious realization_ , seeing that _my wife_ has been galavanting around with him with Maker knows how long,” he bent down to her level and firmly caged her jaw in his cold hand, yanking her gaze to meet his, “Oh, Flower…you have _no idea_ how disappointed I am.”

Adrenaline flooded her system, beating furiously through her bloodstream as her husband gazed at her unblinkingly, still hovering in her field of vision. She blinked back at him, barely able to do anything else as her body only began to catch up to what the trauma of being cut off from the Force had done to her. Slowly stretching her fingers, Rey drew in a shuddering breath as she pulled her knees to her chest, pressing upon the soil to try to stand. Armitage took that has his cue, caging his fingers around her bicep to yank her to her feet. He hooked his fingers under her jaw, pulling her face so close to his that she could feel his breath upon her skin as a slow, diabolical smile spread out onto his otherwise handsome face,

“I think it’s time we went on that proper honeymoon, don’t you _wife_?”

Rey tumbled after him as he towed her out into the hall, with only a short walk ahead of them to the landing platform at the base of the towering ziggurat. Her entire being wanted to run away, to take herself as far in the opposite direction than wherever he was taking her. With the sudden weakness that overwhelmed her, Rey wasn’t sure what she’d be capable of against him. 

Her mind whirred as he pulled her through the towering columns at the front of the palace, deciding as they emerged onto the stairs that it was fight or flight and she chose to fight, even if she’d lose…

Rey dug her heels into the floor, pulling back on him with her bound hands as hard as she could, letting out a slew of huttese expletives in the process. The scavenger girl inside her beamed as the empress began to ensnare the attention of random bystanders. He wouldn’t want to have this show for the entire galaxy to witness, she was sure his narcissistic pride wouldn’t allow it and certainly wouldn’t allow her to shine a light onto his true self…so she was bound and determined to draw out the monster for all to see.

Rey yanked her arm from his grip while her heart thundered in her chest, keeping her face impassive as she drew herself to her full height, feet in the attack position Ben had taught her. She still wasn’t sure what she’d be able to manage, but Gods, she had to try. Her body moved slower than she was used to, her senses still hopelessly murky with the binders holding the barrier firmly between her and the Force. She stared unblinkingly at the Emperor who stood as arrogant as ever, silently daring her to try anything. 

Swinging her leg out to connect with his narrow chest, Rey wavered immediately as the dizzying disconnect she felt took over, her body automatically righting itself by instinct. Rey paid for her attempt dearly when the back of his hand connected swiftly with her cheek, sending her to her knees in a heap of glimmering, white silk. 

Rey clutched her stinging cheek with her bound hands, the pain radiating out from where his blow had struck while her eyes helplessly watered beneath her fingers. Gasping for breath, Rey stubbornly pulled herself back to her feet, fighting the blurred static at the edge of her vision as her head swam. She blinked it away, giving her head a slight shake to try and expel the piercing ring from her ears. Lifting her chin, Rey mustered the first full breath since the moment before Armitage had slapped the debilitating binders on her wrists. She gazed unblinkingly at her husband, helpless when breezy titter tumbled over her lips,

“Oh, _Armie_ …you aren’t the only one who’s been disappointed. Is that the best you’ve got? You’ve done so much worse before.”

The emperor fumed, his silent fury flickering behind his icy blue eyes as cracks began to appear in the terrifyingly detached mask of indifference he normally wore. This was it. This was the moment that he was going to remove the guise of the man who declared himself of being her savior…who claimed and kept up a deceptive charade that he was a kind and loving husband, a fallacious lie that she was forced to play along with. All the pain, all the hurt, all the times he tried to break her…and nearly did…Rey had enough of playing his game. Her insides simmered, her face unmoved and reticent as she watched him come apart, bracing herself for whatever came next…no matter what. Rey knew that unseating him from his throne would be worth it and prayed that whatever spark Finn had spoken of so long ago on Takodana, that this would be it, igniting a searing flame that would burn Armitage Hux and his First Order down. 

His next blow came quickly, glancing across her jaw and making her head spin as a screen of fuzzy stars were painted over her vision. She wavered for only a moment but stubbornly stood her ground which only seemed to drive him further over the edge as she continued to goad him. Reaching up to drag her thumb against the base of her lip, Rey inspected the blood she drew away from it with a slow smile,

“You try so hard, and still you can’t get what you want. Your father. Your mentor…and now you can’t even hurt me the way that you want to.”

Hux surged forward, caging his hands around her shoulders so firmly, the imprint of his spindly fingers would likely be left behind,

“I wanted…I could have given you everything. All you had to do was honor and _obey_. But instead…you took it from me. You took their love and they gave it so easily, so _freely_. I have bled and scraped and done _everything_ for this, I _killed_ for this and I am prepared to do it again.”

Rey’s blood ran cold as his breath fluttered the hair around her face, his blue eyes burning with a bone-chilling fury, the unflappable Emperor Hux gone, leaving a disarrayed and manic version of him in his place,

“That’s not how marriage works. All I ever was to you was a prize…a trophy of a deceptive version of events that you weren’t even part of. I want things to work, I tried…I was hopeful for what we could have had…who you promised to be. I was willing to have a husband…what a pity it turned out to be you…” she watched as a twinge of anguish passed over his face for a split second, her words having struck a nerve,

He lashed out, connecting his fist against her flesh against and all at once, the sight of the towering ziggurat and the speeders hurtling by overhead began to blur as her head became tilted down towards the landing platform at the base of the staircase. She tumbled head over feet, unable to find her footing as the world blew by in a dizzying muddle of images. Rey let out a split yelp as her body collided with each stair while she took a gravity propelled ride down down down when the darkness started to cloud the edges of her hazy vision, welcoming her into its devious arms as she fell down into the abyss. 

*

Ben woke with a start, returning to the world with a deep groan. He pulled himself to his feet as quickly as he could, swaying until he caught a wall inside the darkened room with his shoulder with a hiss. Blinking rapidly to help his eyes adjust to the lack of light, a series of colorful spots contoured the edges of his vision as he let out a deep groan from the ache in his head. He pressed his palm against the wall to catch his breath and center himself to try and urge his mind into remembering what in Maker’s name had transpired. 

Ben smothered a strangled gasp, his heart dropping like a lead weight when the realization dawned on him,

“Rey.”

He burst forth from the room he’d been trapped in, blinking in the sudden, bright light and cursing himself for allowing his judgment to be clouded. Taking a moment to center himself within the Force, Ben took a deep breath and furled his senses out like a blanket to find her, reaching out with the tendrils of his mind but the heavy pit in his stomach grew and his darkness simmered when he found no sign of her.

Nothing.

Like she had been completely erased from existence. 

Ben’s mind reeled, instantly traveling to the very darkest places of his mind, his hands shaking as instinct took over. In the grip of his instantaneous panic, his heart racing and brain wildly on fire, he took off down the endless hallway. Cantering down the hallway, the sound of his boots resonating off the walls with a frantic rhythm matched only by his heart, Ben couldn’t keep the sting of tears from his eyes as his lungs burned, screaming her name into oblivion until she could hear him wherever she had gone.

He emerged in a flurry of black into the bright light of Coruscant Prime just in time to see the dark Upsilon-class shuttle vanish into hyperspace with a thundering crack that pierced him directly in his heart, sending him to his knees in the shadow of the gargantuan ziggurat. He was too late. He failed her…again. This promise he made so long ago to protect her that he could never seem to keep the way he wanted to always had something intervene that prevented him from doing so. 

Ben slumped over at the top of the grand staircase, silent sobs wracking his body as he stretched his senses as far as they could reach, praying that he was wrong….that he would find even just the darkest glimmer of her light. That’s all he needed…just a tiny flicker of hope that he hadn’t lost her all over again. 

He sat, completely numb as the world moved in a blur around him, helplessly reaching out over and over to try and find her somewhere amongst the stars. Rey couldn’t be gone, not really. If something that momentous happened, it would send a devastating ricochet careening through the galaxy like a tidal wave, drowning him from the inside out. She was a part of him, connected through space and time by the invisible thread their cruel mistress, Fate, weaved for them. 

Like ink on his skin, she was a bright spot on his dark soul, making his entire existence go from black and grey to dazzling technicolor with a single smile. She was the air he breathed, each taste of her reviving the parts of him that had been suffocating in the dark cloud of his darkness. She was his faith, holding every ounce of trust and belief in her hands and he’d worship at her alter for the rest of his life. That kind of love didn’t vanish into thin air, it burned like a scorching ember, even if it was the fainted flicker. He held onto it, the hope that she was still there, just out of reach like his life depended on it. All he had to do was find her. 

_I’ll always be with you, no matter if we are apart. No matter how far. I would cross the galaxy for you._

Ben blinked slowly in the sunlight as his promise to her lingered in his memories, with a voice speaking from the distance, pulling him away from his daze,

“Solo! Come on, man, we need to get you out of here,” a pair of hands shook his shoulders, pulling him to his feet and shoving him to the nearest speeder on the landing pad. Ben blinked down at his childhood friend, blinking his mind back into focus with a strange feeling of déjà vu like Poe had said those exact words to him before….

He became more aware of what was happening around him as the speeder took off in a flash, careening into the speeder traffic to carry the pair of them deep into Galactic City. They wound their way through the towering high rises until Poe pulled back on the controls and brought them down onto a nondescript landing pad near the Senate District,

“What are we doing here? I have to find Rey…”

“Listen, buddy, she’s gone-“

“She’s not gone,” Ben seethed, the reality of what was happening brought front and center, his hackles raised as his desperation to get himself to wherever she was as soon as possible.

“I pray she isn’t, but the fact of the matter is that we don’t know. I may have a way to help, but…buddy, it’s time for you to help us too…” the cocky pilot swung his feet onto the landing platform and waited expectantly for Ben to follow him. With a heavy sigh, the dark knight pulled his oversized frame from the speeder and reluctantly followed his childhood friend, the cool wind whipping ribbons of his dark hair around his face in waves. 

The pair of them ducked inside and Ben was instantly transported to the times he’d visited here as a little boy, so long ago when his own mother was still Empress of the Imperial Republic. His stomach twisted as he remembered all the awful whispers he’d hear from passers-by who’s thoughts were about him and how strange he appeared to them…how sad it was for their beautiful leader to have a child who looked like him….

The hallways twisted and turned as they tread over what felt like miles of plush, burgundy carpet until they strode through a pair of double doors into a wide-open room filled to the brim with people buzzing,

“Admiral, this is who I told you about….Ben Solo is here.”

A woman, who was seemingly at the center of the buzzing room turned on her heel to greet them. She was tall, elegantly so, dressed in a formal, grey gown befitting someone of a high, political station. Her hair was a vibrant purple, framing her long face in soft waves as a slow smile of recognition passed over her face and glimmered in her bright blue eyes. Poe came and stood between them as Ben stood with his signature scowl that was reserved for all others that weren’t Rey,

“Ben, this is Vice-Admiral Amilyn Holdo, she’s been leading our resistance against the First Order. Admiral, this is-“

“I know who he is, Commander,” she mused, extending a bracelet adorned hand for Ben to meet. He remained with his hands hanging at his sides, anxiously tucking his fingers into his palm to glance down at her proffered hand and back up at her face, his scowl deepening as his patience began to run out,

“Battle of Chyron Belt, Amilyn Holdo?”

“I was known to dabble in Rebellions in my younger years,” she smiled, bringing her hand back.

“Mmm, not what I expected,” Ben groused.

“Neither are you and yet, here we are,” the refined Admiral seemed unfazed by his furious despondency, tilting her head to the side to regard him with an amused smile on her face, “I remember you, hanging around this place. You were just a little boy then, tagging along after your mother.”

A brief shadow hung between the pair and Ben’s heart dropped even further, he’d barely been able to bring himself to think about her and all the things he should have said before they were out of time, let alone speak of her out loud…Ben mashed his mouth together into a firm line as he exhaled a shaky breath through his nose,

“That was a long time ago…”

She motioned to him to follow her away from the quiet din of the room to a quiet corner with wide, transparasteel windows overlooking the Senate building. Holdo turned to him and quietly reached out to place her hand on his forearm but Ben shirked away from the touch, tucking his long arms over his chest, scowl deeper than ever. The resistance leader was still unruffled, looking out over the glittering cityscape with a sigh,

“I knew her, you know. Leia. It was a long time ago, during a time that isn’t so different than what’s happening now. She was Leia Organa, then, long before Anakin Skywalker rose from the darkness…she was already knee deep in helping the Rebellion, even as a teenager. It’s our turn, Ben, to finish what she started. To become who you were meant to be instead of what they made you into…it’s time to see another Skywalker rise from the darkness, as Anakin did.”

“This isn’t what I wanted.”

“Sometimes the things that we are meant to do don’t ever start that way. The hard things never do. I’m sure this all seems…impossible to you. We’ve been working hard, rebuilding what the First Order tried to break, waiting for our spark…we have her, but imagine our joy when the Skywalker heir has been under our noses this whole time…”

Ben had had enough. He drew himself to his full height, glowering darkly down at Holdo who still seemed completely unaffected by him entirely,

“I don’t have time for this, I need to get off this rock and find-“

“The Empress. I know. You know you won’t do her any good by scouring the galaxy by yourself. Ben…” she breathed, a ghost of a nostalgic smile breezing across her face, “You don’t have to decide anything now…at least let us help you.”

All Ben had to do was give the smallest nod for the Vice-Admiral to send the room into a flurry, teams of people buckling down, sending messages out on comms to get the message out about what Hux had done and try to bring their Empress back to them in one piece. 

The world quickly slid back into the blurred state it was in the first moments Rey was cut off from him in the Force. As the time ticked by, hours turning into days that turned into weeks, reconnaissance missions that the Resistance sent out came back empty-handed more times than Ben could even bear to count. The only thing he could manage to do to prevent himself from throttling some poor soul who got in his way was stay tucked in the back of his mind…

In his mind, Ben could be with the memory of her, easing the ache in his heart that her absence had created. He could stay forever in that morning before it all went to hell, with her wrapped in his arms, eternally ensconced together in the soft morning light. He would do anything to go back to any one of the moments they’d spent together, just to have a little more of that precious time that never ceased to slide through his fingers. There was so much time that had been stolen from them their whole lives. So much time he watched it dry up like water in the desert. So much time that he stood still as it flew across the empty night sky. So much time, Ben couldn’t help but feel that they’d wasted what they had been given. He never would have if he had known that that day would have been their last. 

Weeks had gone by since that cataclysmic day when Hux had finally revealed his true colors to the galaxy and Rey had been brutally snatched away at his hands. Ben’s heart burned as he tried to keep the darkness at bay, refusing to let Kylo Ren fully take hold of him. He needed something, some sort of answer, something to do…an outlet for the black tar that was threatening to consume his soul.

Ben stood at a large window overlooking the Senate District, feet spread apart and large hands tucked behind his back…waiting. Waiting like he’d been doing for days on end with only the beating of his heart to show the passage of time.

Ben heard him before he saw him, thundering down the hallway, momentarily piquing his internet as he slowly turned around to see him barrel through the doorway,

“Dameron.”

His childhood friend was breathless, his eyes wild with a sheen of sweat brimming on his dark brow, his chest heaving as he struggled to catch his breath,

“Ben, they-they think they have something….”

The blur that had been Ben’s world shifted on its axis, rapidly speeding up to a roar in his ears. He wasted no time in peeling down the passageway from where Poe had run from to the room the Resistance had set up their control center. 

Vice Admiral Holdo lifted her eyes to Ben with the ghost of a victorious smile hovering on her lips. She stood with a handful of other around a wide display board with a star map projected in the center,

“It’s not much,” she breathed, “But we think we have something…she may be somewhere in the Western Reaches.”

Ben raked his dark eyes over the blue-green glow of the map, taking a mental checklist as he looked from system to system. Suddenly, his stomach gave a great lurch and he stepped away from the table, silently fuming. He raked his hands through his hair, mentally kicking himself for the time he’d wasted. Of course, he’d take her there. The one place she never wanted to return to.

“Jakku.”

“You can’t know that for sure,” Holdo pressed, her brows creasing in concern, “We need to send another mission out…gather more information. We need to be sure.”

“I can, and I am. She never wanted to go back there…he wanted to punish her. It’s the only place they would’ve gone, I’m sure of it. And I’m going,” Ben turned on his heel, thundering down to the nearest landing platform to snag a speeder. He needed to get to the Falcon, and fast. He had wasted so much precious time already, only Maker knew what Hux could have done to her in the weeks that had gone by,

“Ben wait,” Poe jogged to catch up with his long strides, grabbing his arm to pull him to a reluctant stop, “You can’t just go in there guns blazing…we need a plan…”

The corner of his mouth curled up into the semblance of a smile,

“You clearly don’t remember how we Solos operate…I’m going to go get my girl and none of you can do a kriffing thing to stop me.”

*

It was dark. It was so impossibly dark.

Rey’s head pounded and her body ached as she tried to clear the fuzz from her vision, scrubbing at her eyes, her hands still bound by the force-dampening binders, to try and coax them to let the light in. A few moments passed as her sight adjusted to the darkness and Rey let out a strangled sob when she recognized the tiny space she’d been imprisoned in. 

Thin beams of light filtered in from the durasteel seams of the structure, shining down in minuscule rays, shedding just enough light for her to see the mounds of stagnant sand on every surface…turned over empty crates…broken petals of a fragile nightbloom…a worn and faded star-fighter pilot doll. Rey groaned, her head throbbing as she tilted it up to look at the wall behind her. Her mouth opened in a silent scream when her eye roved over a wall with thousands upon thousands of hash marks that had been scratched into the hard metal….by her.

Rey’s heart began to pound erratically as the walls of her childhood home and prison, the one place she never wanted to return to, started to close in. Her head swam, throbbing from every angle as she clawed at her throat, begging her body to allow her to scream…why couldn’t she scream?

She stumbled as the memories came back in flashes, her head screaming with every frantic beat of her heart. 

Everything had gone dark for a moment after she’d tumbled down the stairs of the Imperial Palace. Rey could hear the hum of the dual-ion engines as they throttled through hyperspace and the sound of her beating heart when she tried to think of where he could possibly be taking her. Her head still swam from both her injury and the binders, leaving her breathless and disorientated as she repeatedly tried to reach out to him…to tell him she was alright….only to be met with a searing pain with every blink of her hazel eyes. 

Hours or minutes went by…Rey wasn’t sure which…when Armitage cooly ambled into the crew compartment and pulled her to her feet and pressed her against a wall. He caged his long fingers around her jaw, his eyes glittering with a possessiveness that made Rey’s stomach sour. 

Hux viciously pressed his lips against hers, thrusting his tongue into her mouth. Rey, reacted immediately, lashing out with her feet and teeth, tearing the flesh of his lip as he pulled away from her with a shrill yelp. She couldn’t help but smile as he drew his fingers to his bleeding lip,

“You’re going to be sorry you did that, Flower. You’re going to give me what I want…don't make me punish you, again.”

“I’m not giving you anything, I’d rather die than be a vessel for you to plant your seed,” she spat, a heavy glob of his blood landing at his feet. Glancing down at the imperfection on his shiny, First Order boots, Hux’s face darkened instantly,

“That can be arranged.”

Things went dark again after that, for how long she wasn’t sure. There were flashes of his face sneering down at her as she felt her body being dragged across an uneven surface. She tumbled down a short distance, there was the slam of a metallic door, and then darkness all over again.

Time. Waiting. 

Those were things that Rey was familiar with. Time that was stolen from her. Her family and Ben’s had been robbed of it entirely. She waited on that dusty rock for years…waiting for the day when she could get away. 

The waiting was easier then, she thought. She could spend her days in the brilliant and scorching Jakku sun, keeping her hands busy as the time ticked by. Now, all Rey had was the dark. 

When she first woke up and realized she was inside the belly of her fallen walker, Rey stumbled around in the dark to find something…anything that was left from when she’d left so long ago but all of it was gone…empty with not even a drop of water she so carefully hoarded away left in the barrels. 

There wasn’t a person alive who wouldn’t fear being trapped in the blackness where the real thing that caged you was the fear of what you couldn’t see. Every person had a fire burning inside them that longed for the sunlight…the open air…for freedom. The only thing that made the fear different, was the degree of which they felt it. Rey wasn’t sure how long she would be trapped there, but she refused to succumb to her fear of being back in that place. She leaned her head against the marks she’d made in the wall, closed her eyes and waited for it to all go away. 

The gnawing hunger came first, pulling her from her quiet meditation that was keeping the darkness at bay. Her stomach grumbled loudly, ringing out into the dimly lit walker. She tried to swallow, but her mouth was impossibly dry and gave her no comfort against the light-headedness that the half-starved feeling had given her. 

Her dehydration came quickly after, the dry air rapidly making her skin itch and lips crack. The days went by and while the aching throb from the bruise on her head began to fade, a new pain from her thirst arrived swiftly. She licked her lips, trying to wet her mouth, but it was no use. 

From time to time, the metal door would creak open and her husband would stride in, red hair slicked back, as arrogant as ever and looking completely out of place amongst her dusty old trinkets. Each time, he’d drag a crate next to where she sat with the toe of his boot and gingerly sit as not to muss himself. Every time, he’d slowly reach into his breast pocket and pull out a small canteen, leisurely curling his long, spindly fingers around the lids to pull it open in an agonizing coil. And, like clockwork, the smarmy ginger would lock his eyes on hers and bring it to his lips to take a slow drink.

The seconds would tick by, and by sheer instinct, Rey’s mouth would hang open as she watched him torture her…every time, Hux would blink back feigned shock and surprise,

“Oh my, are you thirsty Flower? This place is so dry, I don’t know how you can stand it! Would you like me to water you?”

He slowly stood from his perch on the crate next to her and lifted the canteen and deliberately tipped it to send the precious liquid falling to the sand at her knees. Rey’s thirst would take over and she’d scramble for it on her knees, lifting her face skyward to catch it in her mouth. Just the few drops she was able to catch on her tongue felt like a luxury, moistening her desperately parched lips and reveling in the cool feeling of it sliding down her throat and her chin. If she wasn’t so thirsty, she might have cared about the humiliation he was trying to cause her by making her clamber for it on her knees like she was begging the water Gods for a blessing…if she didn’t care about living to see Ben one last time, should wouldn’t allow Hux to bait her and just succumb to her thirst to fall asleep and let it all be over. 

But she wasn’t ready. Not yet. 

The days continued to tick by…eventually her hunger became a dull pang in the back of her mind. Even her thirst started to fade as she drifted further into the oblivion that was her prison. The silence was deafening, broken up from time to time at night when the hard winds that the Teedo’s goddess, R’iia swept over the land, rattling the loose bits of durasteel in the brutal sandstorms she’d bring. 

In the silence that stretched by, connecting the blur of the weeks that passed, Rey’s body lost its strength almost completely as she started to succumb to her malnutrition. Her mind was shattered while she remained lost, drowning in the empty sea that was her mind without the Force…without Ben. The rest of her started to drift away, but one part remained strong, growing stronger and brighter with each passing day. 

Without her hatred, Rey knew that she would have died in that walker a long time ago. There wasn’t any part of her that felt anything but the burning venom that festered in her belly…why eat? Why sleep? It was her only companion and the power that kept her heart beating, her thoughts swirling. She would get out of here and revenge would come swiftly after. 

At night, desperate to sleep, she’d dream of the island. She could see it in her mind’s eye, the black abyss pulling her down until everything was dark…the darkness would pull her in, offering itself as a set of protective arms that would hold her close until the dawn of this nightmare would come on the horizon. It kissed her skin in ways that grew more seductive with every passing night…what would there be to fear if she was the fear?

It would send seductive whispers in her ears as she hovered in its grasp, each tantalizing murmur telling her to give in. 

_You don’t fit here. They don’t understand you._

_You are far more powerful than they are. Someday, you will be their end._

_Your parents sent you here because they are afraid of you. They’re never coming back. Soon, you will come to me and I will teach you the meaning of true power._

_Your time is coming soon. Come to me and you will finally feel like you belong._

Her body bummed with the enthralling feeling that the darkness gave her. She centered herself in it, letting it caress her skin and fill her with its limitless power. The walker around her began to shake, every part of the broken and battered vehicle shuddering as Rey reveled in it, feeling more alive than she had felt…ever. A slow smile curled up on the edges of her mouth as her eyes darkened and her fingers curled with a crackle of electricity.

Rey woke suddenly, her body ablaze from the sheer ferocity of the dreams that kept happening in the rare moments she’d finally drift off. She tried to shake the terrifying feeling the eerie voice gave her and focus on something instead, lifting her eyes to the door…wishing that just one of these days, it would blow open.

Unexpectedly, it did just that, letting the bright beams of sunlight flooding in, momentarily blinding her from the corner where she perched. Her stomach turned when the snide face of her husband turned inside, a lingering sneer pulling at the corners of his mouth,

“Ah, good morning, Flower.”

Rey looked up at him unblinkingly as he cooly strode towards her, hooking the same crate he used to sit on with the toe of his boot. He sat and regarded her silently, the simpering smile still glued to his face. What she wouldn’t give to knock the look away, to let him feel some semblance of pain that only remotely echoed what he’d done to her. Rey averted her eyes, looking anywhere but in the cold face of her tormentor. She couldn’t give him the satisfaction,

“Have you had enough?” Armitage crooned as he crouched down into her field of vision, tucking his cold fingers under her jaw to lift her eyes to meet his, “Are you ready to do what I’ve asked of you, or will you continue to disappoint me?”

Rey barely had a moment to think as her eyes flickered past his ear and saw the hatch in the belly of the walker was still wide open. This was it. This was her shot. She brought her gaze back to his and slowly smiled up at him through her lashes with a soft sigh,

“No, I’m not. You slimy, halfwitted, stuck up, scruffy-looking _e chu ta!_ ” Rey brought her head back and forcefully pummeled the center of his face, sending him careening to the floor with a gush of blood spurting instantly from his nose. 

Fed by her adrenaline, Rey slid to her feet, only momentarily tangling her legs in the grimy and tattered white silk, bolting out the belly of the walker as fast as she could to make her escape into the long-awaited sunlight. 

*

Ben lurched out of hyperspace with a hard jolt ricocheting through the body of the old ship, his anxiety drowning out his fury. His mind whirled like an endless storm, leaving him in a sort of silent panic with nowhere to go.

He shook his dark hair and squeezed his gloved hands over the yolk with a crack of his knuckles. He didn’t have time for any of that. Rey was here, he was sure of it. Guiding the Falcon through the layer of atmosphere with a crack, Ben tilted the ship to head straight for the first place she’d be deep in the heart of the Goazan Badlands. The ship thundered through the blinding sunlight, sending a sheet of sand hurtling up around the edges of the hull as he hurtled towards the faint flicker of her on the horizon that he would have guessed belonged to her fallen AT-AT that she had lived in for all those long years. The object likely held onto a part of her, shining it out like a beacon in the night. 

Rey’s signature had been absent the last few weeks, nearly driving the dark knight insane as he waited and waited… _and waited_ for an inkling that they’d found her. The holovid of the footage of Hux losing his shit on the steps of the Imperial Palace had traveled far and wide since the Emperor had disappeared. 

Ben seethed when he saw it, grinding his teeth when he watched the smarmy ginger’s fist connect with her face and a surge of pride when she kept trying to fight back, even with the Force dampening binders that bound her wrists and he was sure…her strength. 

Part of him thought that Rey must have known what she was doing with the whole galaxy watching, taking advantage of him so the visage would break and expose the true man underneath. 

Ben silently fumed as he pealed through the graveyard of fallen Imperial star destroyers, zig-zagging his way through the defunct giants with a low squall reverberating off the layers of aging durasteel, his gaze instantly being drawn to a dark plume of smoke rising from the horizon.

“No…” he breathed, pressing the throttle harder and faster with a desperate need to get there quicker than he planned. 

The Falcon hurtled over a sandy ridge and his stomach soured instantly at the sight of the smoldering AT-AT walker in the sand ahead of him. 

He brought the ship down as quickly as he could, dashing out of the side-mounted cockpit as fast as his legs could carry him, brazenly striding out into the scorching sand. 

The wind whipped around his face as he furiously scoured the ground around him and the surrounding horizon, searching for something…anything…any piece of evidence that would tell him that she was alive. 

Ben’s heart lurched when he heard the telltale sound of dual-ion engines booming out against the flames, looking to the sky in time to see an Upsilon-class command shuttle swoop into view,

“Hux.”

He was barely afforded the time to think but didn’t need it, as the ginger always seemed to underestimate him at every turn. A bright beam of green shot out from one of the laser cannons, hurting towards Ben in the blink of an eye. 

Without thinking, Ben threw up a gloved hand with a sly smile, stopping the bolt in its tracks, only feet away from where he stood. Closing his dark eyes for an instant, he welcomed the feeling of the darkness like an old friend, letting it fuel him as he reshaped the energy beam. The corners of his mouth bent up slightly as he slowly opened his eyes and hurled the bolt back at the ship with his mind. The green beam ricocheted off the edge of the wing, making the ship waver from it’s hovering position, faltering downwards until it landed clumsily in the sand some two hundred paces away.

_Whoever that was was no kriffing pilot._

Ben strode purposely towards the fallen ship, holding his breath as the loading ramp landed with a hard thump on the sand. Silently begging for it to be her that walked out, he already knew the answer before he saw the shiny black boots descend down the durasteel. 

“Ahhh, Lord _Solo_ , is it?” Hux sneered, casually tossing a silver canteen from hand to hand, his normally haughty face marred by black eyes and a purple nose,

“You know who I’m here for. Where is she?”

“What…no time to chat, _Cupcake_?” The emperor laughed haughtily, harking back to the day when the pair of them had just met. Ben silently fumed, trying desperately to keep his face impassive as his soul swarmed with regret for ever playing Hux’s game. They wouldn’t be here if it wouldn’t be for him shrugging off Snoke’s wishes for him to succeed him…wether it was his birthright or not,

“Where….is….she….”

Hux casually tutted behind the façade of his smile, looking into the ship behind his shoulder,

“Come on out, Flower. We have a guest.”

Ben was breathless as he watched her bare feet slowly shuffle down the dark ramp, his stomach twisting in his gut as his eyes raked over her emaciated figure. Her tattered gown hung loosely from her shoulders, her face was gaunt and her lips cracked and dry. Standing nearly lifeless in front of him was merely a hollow shell of his Stardust.

Rey’s eyes flittered to meet his for a split second, her lips parting as she sucked in a quick breath. Ben’s heart lurched when he saw her…Rey, reflected back at him in those same star-dusted eyes, as luminous as they ever were,

“Gods,” Ben groaned, “I beg you….can’t you see you’re killing her??” Ben howled, his fury burning ever brighter at the sight of how she’d been treated at his hands in the weeks since Hux had taken her, “You have enough blood on your hands already. If you murder her, you’ll never win back their favor.”

He knew it was an outright lie, the people were through as soon as he laid a hand on The People’s Empress on the front steps of the palace, but Ben was prepared to say anything if it meant that it would help her.

Hux gave him a simpering smile and opened the canteen in his hand ever so slowly. He brought it to his lips and feigned like he was going to drink before giving it a second thought, 

“Maybe a little water, are you thirsty, Flower?”

Rey was wordless standing in the sand next to her husband, looking blankly at the ground before he haphazardly tossed the full canteen to her feet. The liquid sloshed messily, seeping into the sand before she bent down to sweep up the canister between her bound hands, guzzling down the liquid as quickly as her body would allow her,

“Not like it would do me any good to keep her as an empress, she’s been tainted for me now…I hope you don’t have any hope for sons Solo, this rat-whore is barren like the desert she came from.”

Without a second thought, Ben snapped, throwing his gloved hand out with a blinding fury. Before Hux realized what happened, his boots were making a thick line in the sand as Ben dragged the conceited ginger to his waiting palm, eager to throttle him with his own hands. The blinding frenzy of his anger boiled over inside his darkened soul, baring his teeth as he raised Hux’s boots off the ground,

“You dare speak of her that way….Haven’t you done enough to her already?”

Unexpectedly, the man under Ben’s fingertips began to smile and laugh as his face purpled beneath the relentless grip he had on his throat,

“Oh, Lord Ren…I’ve barely just begun…can’t you see I’m drowning a flower?”

Ben’s brows creased together as he tried to piece together the man’s meaning, wading his way through the thick vat of darkness that threatened to spill over entirely. Hux’s eyes shifted to the side, drawing the dark knight’s gaze with them. 

Rey stood motionless, the empty canteen held out in her palm as her golden, gleaming skin faded as her eyes glazed over, wavering for only a moment before falling to the sand in a heap of tattered, white shimmer silk. 

Without thinking, Ben hurled the ginger away from him, striding through the loose sand as quickly as his boots would carry him, gingerly gathering Rey’s limp form in his long arms, his heart thudding with a terrible panic as he struggled with where he could touch her without breaking her,

“Ben…” she croaked, her blood lining the inside of her mouth, vivid against the ghostly pallor of her skin.

“Shh, no, don’t talk. I can’t fix this…” Ben’s hands shook as he closed his eyes, blind to the sound of the dual-ion engines thundering to life with a road and taking off into the distance. He hovered his palm over her torso, completely unsure where to start. 

His darkness licked at the edges of him, coming ever closer to drowning out the light all over again, sweeping in and out like the sea coming into high tide. Summoning the Force within him, and brought it to the forefront as he had with her bruises, trying and failing over and over again, never once bringing a single speck of her back to the way it had been. 

Rey took a shuddering breath in his arms, her body quaking from 10 shade deep in her agony as it passed through her in wave after wave. She weakly lifted her fingers and placed them over his own, stuttering through the blood that continued to seep into her mouth,

“It’s okay. You’ve done enough,” she blinked back her invisible tears, reviving her strength to give him one of her beamingly bright smiles, even though it was tainted with the poison Hux had given her, “I got to have you…be with you one last time. I’ll be forever grateful for that,” Rey let out a groan, arching with the jolt of pain that shot through her. Ben sniffed back his hardened tears that slowly rolled down his marred cheek, one silvery streak at a time that landed in tiny splashes against her ashen face.

“I can’t. I can’t do this without you, Stardust,” he gasped, taking a great big, shuddering breath. He couldn’t do it….the process of watching her die after just getting her back was crueler than Fate keeping them at such a distance their whole lives. He should have fought harder, loved her more openly and without boundaries. He should have found her from the start of this whole kriffing mess. 

Rey took a series of slow and shallow, ragged breaths, gasping between them against the building layer of blood that she couldn’t swallow down, 

“P-please. You can. Be good,” she mustered enough strength in her broken body to lift her hand, resting it gently against Ben’s tear-strewn cheek. She closed her eyes with a grimace, her body tightening as another wave of pain washed over her.

Rey laggardly opened her eyes with a slow flutter of her lashes as her gaze went out of focus for a moment before looking out over his shoulder with the ghost of a smile hovering on her lips,

“They’re here,” she croaked, a solitary tear slipping its way from her lashes and down her cheek,

“Who’s here, Stardust?” Ben murmured, glancing over his shoulder for a split second, but only saw the wind whipping the sands in swirls around them,

“They’re all here. Our parents,” her smiled faltered for a moment as she reached out into the nothingness that waited behind him, “My mother….and yours.”

Rey’s words splintered through his heart, sending a fresh jolt of pain through his chest as he held her closer, tighter in his arms…like having a firmer hold on her body would keep her longer in this world,

“Rey, please. Please don’t go. Don’t leave me here alone, not again. I can’t…not again…I won’t survive it.”

She brought her star-dusted gaze to meet his, blinking slowly like she was looking straight into the heavens. Hugging his scarred cheek with her hand, she slowly whispered between ragged breaths,

“Don’t be afraid. I’ll always be with you. Even if we are apart. No matter how far. I’ll always love you.”

Ben helplessly watched as her breath seized in her chest, making her go rigid in his arms for a moment before she slipped away and her eyes slowly closed. He furiously tore the binders from her wrist, bound and determined to feel for himself that she was truly gone. 

With tears streaming down his face, Ben focused his energy to feel something…anything….and found nothing at all. 

An agonizing scream tore it’s way from deep inside his soul forced its way from his mouth like releasing a demon from the depths. There was something in the mournful wail that echoed out into the rapidly darkening sky….a deep, unexplainable pain that began to manifest itself around them as the darkness took hold and blinded Ben Solo completely. 

The wind began to howl, shifting the sand in a slow, swirling circle around them and up into the sky until the light of the desert sun had been blotted out by the darkness-triggered sandstorm. He kept his eyes focused on her angelic face, his fury palpable as he searched endlessly inside her for a single glimmer of her. He tried to keep calm, to stay centered here with her, but his ferocious delirium blacked out every other thought as the storm continued to churn in circles and the pair of them the eye. 

The rapid infusion of adrenaline and grief coursed through him as Ben….Kylo…he wasn’t sure who he was anymore, especially without her….looked around in a blinding rage to see the new ways his darkness manifested. 

His dark hair whipped violently around his face that he could barely see as the tiny bits of sand pummeled his skin raw. Clutching her to his chest, he let out another gruesome cry when his fingers brushed her cold lifeless skin, sending a sudden crack of lightning sizzled out from his fingertips into the raging wall of sand that seethed in slow circles around them. It ripped straight though soul, tearing him further into tiny pieces as he released his anguish with flash after flash of a brilliant red. 

Ben clutched Rey’s lifeless body to his broad chest, dry sobs wracking his chest as the storm raged on, slowly stroking her chestnut hair when he felt it. Just the shape of it, but solid and clear. 

The smallest glimmer of her flickered, a tiny pearl of her light was still there, just waiting for a catalyst to make it flare into the brilliantly beaming gleam it was before. 

Balance, she said. 

Ben was too far in the deep, and only tried to shove the darkness down to help his light grow, but had it been the right choice?

He centered his energy on the minuscule halo calling out from within her, taking a deep breath as he channeled himself and funneled every bit of him into her as he focused on the lesson she tried so desperately to get him to listen to on Ahch-to.

_There is no light without the dark._

Rey. Him. Light and dark. Together. 

_Through passion, I gain focus._

His passion for her was boundless. She made him want to be better, try harder, do more.

 _Through knowledge, I gain power._

Ben and Kylo had both gained an infinite amount…both masters believed that they were right. There had to be a balance between the two.

 _Through serenity, I gain strength._

The peace Ben had felt every moment he spent with her, basking in her light and stoking the fire of his own had made him feel more in control than ever. 

_Through victory, I gain harmony._

_There is only the Force._

Ben channeled everything he had through their bond, a soft smile curling at the corners of his mouth as he felt hers grow with each passing moment. He shook with the effort, draining his energy as the edges of his vision began to grow fuzzy and his body began to waver. 

The storm around them finally began to settle, the remnant of the lightning that had intermingled with the sand glimmering in the air around them like softly falling snow on Hoth….

Ben’s heart slowed as he lazily blinked in the glittering sheen that surrounded him, not entirely sure of what was real and what wasn’t as he drifted away into nothing. 

There was only the Force.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO much for reading...I promise I’ll make it all better. 😘😘😘
> 
> Come say hi on [Tumblr](Kaybohls.tumblr.com) AND [Twitter](%E2%80%9CTwitter.com/kaybohls%22)
> 
> There’s also a [STARDUST PLAYLIST!](https://itunes.apple.com/us/playlist/stardust/pl.u-kv9lRRLtbN5op) I triple dog dare you to read the end while listening to “Sunder”.


	17. I Want You To Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The once-princess of Alderaan let out a soft sigh as she looked over them now, still lifeless in the Jakku sand moments after the lightning had faded, and her son along with it. Her hands ached to reach out and touch them, to lay a comforting hand upon her son until help arrived.
> 
> His face was relaxed, the hard lines that had been worn into his features after a lifetime of darkness softened as he laid in the sand. To any passers-by, the pair of them would only look to be sleeping…ensconced in the other’s arms as the sky radiated a gauzy luminescence over the breathless couple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time to transfer from the Pain Train to the Feels Train and pull you back from that cliffhanger I left you on...all aboard!!! *I swear that we are on our way to the “all better” portion after the last chapter.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/144005946@N02/47847874442/in/dateposted-public/)

 

If she closed her eyes and thought hard enough about it, Leia could almost feel the warmth of the Jakku sun as the dark, looming swirls of sand began to settle, letting the bright beams of the desert light stream through the dark. The aftermath of the upheaval Ben had unintentionally triggered with his grief still lingered in the air and the glittering consequences of force lightning combined with the sand created an incandescent halo around them. 

She wanted to help as she watched things unfold, but was helpless on the sidelines as her son tearfully begged for his Light to stay. Ben clutched Rey’s limp body to his chest as tendrils of red Force lightning began to erupt from his fingertips, curling up his arms and into the vicious, churning barrage of sand that revolved around them like a hurricane. 

The once-princess of Alderaan let out a soft sigh as she looked over them now, still lifeless in the Jakku sand moments after the lightning had faded, and her son along with it. Her hands ached to reach out and touch them, to lay a comforting hand upon her son until help arrived.

His face was relaxed, the hard lines that had been worn into his features after a lifetime of darkness softened as he laid in the sand. To any passers-by, the pair of them would only look to be sleeping…ensconced in the other’s arms as the sky radiated a gauzy luminescence over the breathless couple. Leia’s heart twinged while she bent down to brush the phantom of her touch across the face of her boy who was now a man. 

What she wouldn’t give to have seen him grow into the man before her, a man who was willing to give every part of him to save the woman he loved. To have done something differently, been there in the way that he so clearly needed her to be…to have their last moments together consist of more than an agonizingly bitter exchange of words over a holopad. 

The regret inside her burdened soul burned brightly, beaming out against the plethora of good she’d done in her life. Leia closed her eyes and imagined the last, fleeting look of heartbreak in his dark eyes before he reluctantly murmured a quiet,

“I know.”

She hadn’t been there the way he needed, so she would stay with him now, silently standing guard over them until help arrived. 

Leia drew her attention to the willowy girl tucked into the crook of Ben’s arm, just a husk of the breathtaking woman she was and the brilliantly beaming light she possessed. Her memories drifted with a sad smile to seeing this woman as a little girl so long ago, trailing after Ben on Yavin IV…seemingly the only being who was able to put a crack in his stony façade. 

Leia knew that Rey had been shining her incandescently radiant aura upon him their whole lives, illuminating the immeasurable depths of his darkness while he was pulled further down with each passing day. Rey was his tether, a guiding glimmer, a beamingly bright star in the darkest night sky. 

The sand at her feet began to shift and blow around while the sound of a shuttle breaking into the dusty atmosphere echoed through the eerie silence. The ship slowly descended to the surface and Leia silently watched as a flurry of activity surrounded the still-unmoving couple in the sand. 

She followed them as the hands of many gingerly lifted both Ben and Rey onto separate gravstretchers, gently shuttling them to the open mouth of the waiting ship. The crew secured the gurneys as the hum of the engines buzzed beneath their feet. A GH-7 med droid hovered frantically over the bodies, performing simultaneous scans as the craft lifted off from the sand and throttled into the sky above. 

Leia instantly recognized the troubled face of the man who stood over them, anxiously swaying from side to side with his arms closed tight to his chest and his mouth pressed against his fist. She would have known the features of the son of her old friend, Shara Bey, in a split second,

“What’s the prognosis?” Poe Dameron murmured quietly as he softly laid his hand against the shoulder of his oldest friend,

“They’re alive. He is weak but with a little rest, he’ll wake up soon. The girl, on the other hand, her condition is critical. My scans say that the poison she was exposed to should have killed her in a matter of moments,” the med droid answered, “For reasons I can’t explain, she’s still holding on.”

“Ben,” Poe whispered, shaking his head, “You kriffing nerfherder. I don’t know what you did, but you kept her alive.”

Leia stood wordlessly as the time ticked by, quietly observing as Poe paced back and forth next to the gurneys, pausing from time to time to pick Rey’s hand up in his own, silent tears streaming down his tanned face as he whispered a silent prayer to the gods. 

Leia wished she could give Poe some comfort in his moment of need, to pass on some sort of warmth or reassurance to let him know that it would all be alright. This was the will of the Force. 

There was a split moment in time when Rey’s eyes had met hers at the moment she had started to succumb to the poison that ripped through her veins. In Rey’s mind, she was ready and willing to go Home. She’d had her moment in the sun, brought Ben back from the dark and finally remembered who she really was. But Leia knew that Rey’s journey was far from over. She had a long life to live and so many wonderful things ahead that she wouldn’t even begin to dream of. In that moment when their eyes met and Rey reached out to her, Leia offered her a quiet smile and a shake of her head.

_Not yet, sweet girl. You have so much left to do._

The parsecs ticked by as they hurtled through the blue-white blur of hyperspace until suddenly, the ship lurched and they emerged above a blue-green jewel of a planet. Leia’s heart swelled when she looked out the viewport and instantly recognized where they were. It was one of the only places that felt like home after Alderaan was destroyed and offered her a tie to her past and the mother she never had the chance to know. Naboo.

Leia lovingly reached out and brushed her signature against Ben’s tranquil face, smiling to herself when the corners of his mouth softly lifted. She had wanted so much more than this for him…peace instead of war, love instead of heartache. 

Looking over the face of her son, her truest love, she prayed that he would find peace and balance amongst the obstacles that awaited them. 

 

*

 

Ben woke suddenly with a yell, every fleeting thought rushing in in a luminous flurry, as he relived the moments after the lightning had faded away and he had been drawn to the infinitesimal flicker of Rey’s light. It was the same, going through the flood of searing grief over and over each time he succumbed to sleep. Each time, he’d jolt awake at the memory of her heart stopping beneath his fingertips. Every time, he had to pull himself from the waking nightmare, paralyzed by his anguish until his bleary eyes focused on the slumbering beauty who’s hand he clasped tightly with his own. 

Ben had tirelessly waited for….he couldn’t remember how long now, for Rey to wake up from the poison-induced lifelessness she was ensnared in. Lifting her limp hand to his lips, he pressed a soft kiss to the map of the stars imprinted on the soft skin inside and placed her hand against his cheek with a sigh. If only it was as simple as a kiss to wake her, to make her eyes open and bring about the glorious smile he would give anything in this moment to see. 

At least he could hold her, Gods knew it wasn’t that simple too long ago. 

Ben remembered with a rub to his eyes of the first moment he came-to, laying on a gravstretecher in a medi bay. He shook his head with a grimace, thinking to himself that one of these days, he’d have to go back and apologize to the poor soul who suffered his wrath as he flew into a dizzying rage…demanding to know where Rey was as soon as he opened his eyes.

The first few days were agonizing with Rey trapped behind the bubble of a medical cocoon, her vitals blinking in a faint green on the clear surface that kept Ben painfully separated from her. The time ticked by and Ben lingered by her bedside night after sleepless night, persistent in his mission to not miss a single moment. 

Slowly, with a constant influx of fluids and nutrition, Rey’s gaunt cheeks began to fill out and the color returned to her freckled flesh. Eventually, she was stable enough to be moved from the medibay entirely and was placed lovingly in a stately bedroom in a quiet corner of the Theed Royal Palace. 

The Resistance had set up a home base at the palace with the permission of the Nubian queen and the central hallways and palace hanger had been a flurry of activity as the members of the new Rebellion gathered their forces and support all in one place. He knew he should want to help…he knew he should feel the pull to follow in his parents’ footsteps and help break away from the tyranny of the First Order, especially in the place where his own grandmother had lived as the planet’s queen so long ago, but Ben couldn’t bring himself to care. Not now, not when he knew his place was by Rey’s side.

In the first days after their arrival on Naboo, Poe came to sit next to him as he stoically kept watch over Rey’s still form, listening intently to the steady beeps of her heartbeat on the monitor. His old friend was quiet for a long time but Ben could feel him simmering beneath the surface. The dark knight slowly turned his head with a grimace,

“What?”

Poe nonchalantly shrugged and crossed his arms firmly across his chest, feigning innocence but the jittery bounce of his knees continued to give him away. Ben didn’t need to be Force-sensitive to see that there was something he wanted to say. He leaned closer as his look darkened,

“What. Is it?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Say it, or get out.”

Poe inhaled a deep breath as his dark eyes slid closed, letting out a long breath before opening his black eyelashes,

“You stupid moon-jockey.”

Ben balked, letting out a shocked guffaw and squaring his shoulders to pull himself to his full height, even from where he was sitting,

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me,” Poe reached out and stabbed him in the chest with his finger, “You couldn’t just _kriffing wait_. We would have been able to help…to prevent this,” he lifted his palms out in front of the pair of them to gesture at Rey’s motionless body in the isolation of her medical cocoon, “But no. NO. You just _had_ to go full Solo, like a kriffing nerfherder and nearly get yourself killed in the process. Did it occur to you that, I don’t know, there might be more people who’d care that she’d gone than just you? What about me? You’re all I’ve got left…she’s all I’ve got left…and you nearly took _all of it_ away.” 

Ben opened his mouth to try and blast out a retort, to push and tell Poe that it wasn’t any of his business how he went about trying to help her…but he was right and Ben’s thoughts drifted back immediately to the profound effect that Rey had on any life she touched.

The time ticked by and Ben continued to keep vigil at her side, silently praying to the Gods to bring her back to him. More than once, he’d sink into the depths of his exhaustion, waking suddenly at any stray sound that echoed in the gleaming bedchamber. 

Ben sat perched by her bedside, the ever-vigilant guardian to her light, with her cool hand pressed against his cheek, his eyes growing heavier by the second as he counted every single heartbeat when he felt a hand on his shoulder. It jolted him from his trance, silently seething as he rolled the hand from his jacket. He took a deep breath to steady that slow, simmering rage, thinking to himself that there was no use in letting it boil over in the faces of those who were only trying to help.

It had become increasingly frustrating each time Dameron…sometimes even the Admiral had been annoying persistent in squeezing their way into his blessed isolation, insisting over and over that he should take a break and get some rest. Each time, Ben was obstinate in his steadfastness to stay by Rey’s side, completely unwilling to move, even for a moment. He was where he needed to be. Nothing else mattered more than being with her. 

The individual nudged his shoulder, a little harder than the initial gentleness of the hand he had stubbornly shirked away from. Ben grimaced darkly and held tighter to Rey’s hand pressed against his cheek. Another swipe to his shoulder sent his elbow falling from the edge of the bed where he was perched, sending him to his feet with a loud swear,

“Enough! What do you want?”

He glared down at the person responsible for harassing him so, and met the equally as stubborn glare of Rose Tico. She stood with her arms crossed over her chest, frowning up at him from below his sternum,

“Ms. Tico,” he growled, sinking back down into his chair by Rey’s bed.

“Can I sit?” she asked plainly,

“By all means. The more the merrier, really,” Ben grumbled dryly, motioning to the seat beside him. Rose sat slowly, remaining stiff next to the dark knight. Her eyes darted back and forth between Rey’s still form and Ben,

“So, it is Kylo Ren, still? Or…”

“Ben. That’s who I am…to her at least…”

“If you are to her, then you will be for everyone else. You’ll see,” Rose murmured, watching his eyes carefully as she reached out to cautiously peel Rey’s hand from his long fingers, “Here, let me.”

Rose tucked her friend’s cool hand between her own, the gleam of tears shining from the corners of her eyes. She looked up at Ben with a mournful smile,

“You go. I’ve got this. I’ve got her,”

Ben turned his gaze back to Rey and lifted his hand to card her chestnut hair between his fingers. He had been braiding her hair since they had arrived, but had decided to leave her hair as it was meant to be, cascading in long waves across her shoulders. 

Mashing his mouth together in a somber line, Ben breathed a shaky sigh and shook his head,

“No.”

Rose lifted a single eyebrow and offered a playful smile, 

“You look terrible.”

“I’m fine.”

“Mmmhmmm, I sincerely doubt that. Go rest. Get some sleep.”

Ben’s eyes stayed on the freckles that were ghosted across Rey’s golden skin, trailing his fingers lovingly across her cheek. He couldn’t leave. Not ever. Not for anyone. He’d been asleep for half his life, unaware of far too long of the memories and the time that had been stolen from them. Ben had only just got her back, there was no way he would miss a single kriffing second they had left, 

“I’ve slept long enough.”

Rose leaned towards him and pulled his hand to meet Rey’s that was resting in her palm,

“Do it for her. This isn’t what she’d want for you. She’d want you to live, to fight. Not exhaust yourself to death by her bedside,” she lifted her hand to his arm, giving it a gentle squeeze, “Help her, Ben. Help her save the thing she loves by doing this one, small thing. _I’ve got this._. She won’t be alone, I swear. Now, go, or I’ll make you.”

Maybe this infuriating, tiny person had a point. He needed to be here for her if…no, _when_ she woke up and have the strength to be with her. Ben crossed his arms over his chest as let out a long sigh,

“You don’t have that little electro poker thing with you, do you?” Ben chuckled dryly.

“I won’t say and you’ll never know…not until it’s already too late.”

Ben brushed his hand across Rey’s brow, trailing his thumb against her cheek in soft circles with a hum. He could feel the exhaustion deep into his bones. He knew that he needed rest but he couldn’t help but feel that this weariness he felt was more than what could be cured by a good night’s sleep. It would require a remedy that was so much more. His grief over having lost her on Jakku and the uncertainty if he would ever get her back wore heavy on his shoulders like a weighty coat, burdensome in its ceaseless companionship. It grew heavier and heavier with each passing day that Rey laid motionless in the bed beside him. 

She was what he needed. His shelter in the storm, the calm eye of the storm of his ever-present darkness. Rey loved without him without measure and without conditions, regardless of the monster they had made him into. 

He craved the warm light of her smile like the jungle needed sunlight, knowing that as soon as he would lay eyes on it, that the whole world would be righted once more. Closing his eyes to imagine the moment when she’d finally awaken, his heart ached when he imagined their eyes meeting, star dusted golds and greens to his dark amber. The world in his mind slowed to a warm blur, like everything around them would pause, if only for a moment and suddenly…everything would be in its place. 

Ben was helpless to her for so long, falling harder and faster than he ever thought he could, after everything that had happened. But here he was, a hopeless man, fallen hard like stars that would rain down from the sky in the brilliantly dark night. 

He would do as the plucky Resistance girl instructed him to. He’d rest, for a time. Take care of himself so that he could be with her when she woke. Rey was in good hands with Rose, he was more than sure…especially with everything she’d done to help his Stardust after the bastard Emperor had been through with her. 

Slowly standing from his seat, he bent down over the Empress, his dark hair hanging like a curtain around his face and brushed the ghost of a kiss upon her lips. With a deep sigh, he stepped away from her beside and drew his eyes to Rose,

“Thank you.”

Ben woke the next morning to the quiet and steady patter of rain on the towering window of his new quarters that weren’t far from Rey’s in the Theed Royal palace. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes like a child, watching the droplets of rain slide down the gleaming window pane that sent the first beams of morning light ricocheting around the room like a kaleidoscope. 

The sound of the rain against the transparasteel brought a calmness washing over him as he let his mind drift to a happy moment he shared with Rey on Ahch-to. He had watched her react in wild wonder during a rainstorm, holding her palms and face skyward to let each heavy droplet caress her face while she laughed. It was such a carefree, quietly beautiful moment in the tangled mess of their lives that Ben knew he would cherish forever. 

He let the feeling carry him on a calming sea as the symphony of the rain enveloped him in a blessed moment of solitude. 

After spending a while under the steaming spray of the ‘fresher, Ben dressed and strode down the marbled hallway to Rey’s room. He leaned his shoulder against the gilded doorframe and quietly smiled to himself as he took in the sight of the room. 

It was opulent, like everything else in Theed with its elegant sandstone building and green-domed roofs. An interwoven blend of white and gold, the room practically gleamed from floor to ceiling. It was beautiful, to be sure, far beyond that stark blacks and reds that Ben had ever stayed in during his time on the First Order star destroyers, with a large bed with a blanket of the purest white that looked like newly fallen snow. A golden writer’s desk was tucked into a corner by the floor to ceiling window that overlooked the neighboring towers of the Theed Royal Palace and the great Nubian plains beyond the city’s towering cliffside home. 

The greatest part of the room was the far wall opposite of the bed where his ever-slumbering beauty laid. A great mural covered nearly every inch, lovingly hand painted by a gifted artist who clearly knew the planet by heart. Crystal clear, blue green waters, reflecting the light from the painted sun and the deep green trees that dotted the shore. It was a sight that was familiar to Ben’s eyes, a place that he’d heard stories of and visited once, when he was a small child. 

He vowed that he’d take her there when she woke, and let Rey experience the true stunning beauty of the Nubian lake country for herself. What he wouldn’t give to see her dip her toes in the warm water and watch the dazzling smile spread across her face in wild wonderment at every new thing the desert girl experienced. 

The sunlight streamed in the lofty windows, woven streams of golden, glimmering light that danced with tiny bits of dust that floated and fluttered along each beam. What a marvel that, like Rey, the light had a way of filling what should be the darkest moments with something so blindingly beautiful. 

Ben’s smile stretched further as he watched the slow rise and fall of Rey’s chest and Rose, who was still by her side. She chatted happily with the Empress’s hand tucked lovingly between her own as if Rey wasn’t perpetually asleep beside her,

“I can’t wait for you to see it, Rey. We’re all together. Poe, who you know…Finn too! Even my sister. Stars, it’s so amazing. It’s all happening, and it’s all because of you. You started this whole thing. Finn was right, that you were the spark that we needed. The fire is started, we just need you back, and we can finally burn the First Order down. It would help so much if you can help us convince your boyfriend…no, that doesn’t sound right…man? Man-friend? I don’t know. But we need him, Empress. We need him more than he knows. With the two of you by our sides, Hux won’t know what hit him.”

“Man-friend, huh?” Ben mused dryly, making Rose jump out of her seat. She clasped her small hand to her chest, taking a deep breath as she glared up at him,

“Stars! You really shouldn’t sneak up on people, you know.”

“How are things in here?” Ben nodded at Rey’s still form, alone in the bed, “Hatching all sorts of plans and filling her head with rebel nonsense? She does enough of that all on her own, you know. I don’t think she needs any help from you,”

“I just…I want to keep her filled in.”

“I wouldn’t get your hopes up, Ms. Tico.”

Rose crossed her arms over her chest, a stubborn frown etching it’s way onto her round, dimpled face,

“And why not?”

“This might be a fight that you can’t win. Look what happened after the Empire.”

“The Rebel Alliance won! With your family’s help!”

Ben shrugged darkly,

“It was with my family’s help that the Empire rose up in the first place. It didn’t last long, did it? The First Order swooped in not long after and took it all back.”

“That’s a sad way to look at it. Don’t you think that we have the good on our side and that we can finally put an end to all this, once and for all?” Rose pressed, her eyes pleading with him, “Rebellions are built on hope. Because of her. And you.”

“Me?” Ben scoffed, “Lady, you’ve got your wires crossed. No one should be putting their hope in me.”

“She did,” Rose turned her head and looked at Rey, peaceful in her repose, “I have to hope, otherwise, what else is there? Rebellions are-“

“-built on hope. Yeah…I’ve heard it before,” he drawled. 

“Yeah,” Rose sighed, settling herself back into her chair by Rey’s bedside, lifting her limp hand between her fingers, “Listen, I’ve got everything handled around here. You go, I don’t know, explore a little. Stop in and see what Poe is up to. No one has seen you around, you may as well have died…”

“Yeah, may as well…” Ben muttered, anxiously rolling his long fingers together at his side as he watched Rey’s steady breathing.

“Someone from your family was from here, right?”

“My grandmother. She was the queen, once.”

“Wow…” Rose breathed, “Maybe have a look around…I bet you may be surprised that there’s more light in you than you realize?”

“Yeah, maybe,” Ben shook his head, carding his long fingers through his dark waves. He was surprised at how blunt Rose was with him…it was an experience that he hadn’t had in such a long time from anyone. Most people he met cowered before the mask, or his height…or his general demeanor. But not her. No wonder Rey was so fond of her. Rose’s no-bantha fodder message got him thinking as he roved his eyes to the gilded ceiling…maybe she was right. Maybe there was something more for him to find here than only the constant waiting. He wasn’t convinced of anything and certainly wasn’t about to join the rebel cause, but he would try to open his mind. After all, it was what Rey would want. 

Ben wandered down the cavernous corridors of the Theed Royal Palace, marveling at the towering pillars and gleaming marble floors. The steady sound of his boots against the smooth stone echoed far above his head around the curves of the gilded ceiling. He remembered hearing stories from his mother when he was a child of the place her own birth mother had called her home for a time. 

Padme Amidala Naberrie had been elected Queen of Naboo at the tender age of fourteen and her rule had been tested early when the Trade Federation seized control of the planet. What a thought, to think of his grandmother being so young and walking these hallways with such a heavy burden on such a young girl…a child, even. 

It took him a fair amount of time to find his way towards the sweeping grand staircase at the front of the palace as the building was a mind-addling complex of expansions that was added onto with each new monarch. It had been built on the edge of the towering cliff along the banks of the might Solleu River, along with the rest of the sprawling city of Theed. 

When he emerged into the faint beams of sunlight, Ben saw that more dark clouds weren’t far behind. He paused for only a moment to regard the incoming inclement weather, wondering to himself if he should go back inside, or continue out into the open and face whatever came his way. With a deep breath, Ben stepped out into the wide open Palace Plaza, ready for anything. After all, it’s what Rey would want him to do and if she had been here, she would have clasped his hand in hers and pulled him out into the streets, rain or shine. 

As he wound his way through the twists and turns of the sandstone buildings that seemingly blended into one another, Ben felt that he could have easily lost his way amongst the green-domed roofs and flower-covered terraces but there was something…a feeling or a pull…some sort of invisible thread that continued to lead him through the cobblestone streets. 

Ben lost himself to the sound of his footsteps against the stone, drawing his eyes over the cityscape as he passed it by and made his way over a narrow bridge and found himself in the shadow of a towering dome situated on the edge of the river. 

The thread continued to tug him towards it until he reached a stone door emblazoned with an almost flower-like carving of the Naboo royal crest nestled inside the circular crest of the Galactic Roundel. Ben had seen the Nubian symbol scattered all around Theed and the Royal Palace, but the eight-spoked wheel triggered his memory and the history lessons he had with his mother before he left for the Jedi Academy with his uncle. His curiosity piqued, Ben lifted his palm against the stone and closed his eyes. 

Centering himself in the gentle, omnipresent hum of the Force, Ben focused into the feeling of whatever was inside, withdrawing his fingers in a flash when he saw the serene face of a beautiful woman with white flowers in her hair accompanied by the sound of an eerie respirator echoing through his mind’s eye. 

Ben flexed his fingers like the tips had been scalded against the cool stone surface, flexing them inward before reaching out to the door again. He pressed with both hands and let out a surprised chuckle when the door slowly gave way with a shudder. 

It took only moments for Ben’s dark eyes to adjust to the darkness inside the stone building, the only fragile beams of colored light streaming in through a single stained-glass window. It featured the likeness of an elegant lady, hands clasped in front of her with a kind smile hovering at the corners of amber-brown eyes that were all too familiar to him. 

On either side of the colored glass were a pair of stone pillars filled with the frail remains of red bouquets that had been long-since forgotten. By who? Ben couldn’t help but think with a sour stomach that they’d been neglected by him…

His footsteps were muted along the dust-covered floor as he stepped further into what appeared to be a mausoleum. A pair of sarcophaguses laid side by side at the center of the domed building with the soft beams of colorful light illuminating the symbols that had been inlaid into the lid of each one. 

Ben traced his fingers through the thick layer of dust, uncovering the Naboo royal crest on the first before reaching over to brush the grime from the other to reveal a crest that Ben was all too familiar with…the far reaching wings and shining light at the center of the Jedi Order. Suddenly, he was eerily sure of where he was…and who he was with. 

A sigh escaped his plush mouth as he laid his palms against the final resting place of his grandfather, Anakin Skywalker. The sigh was more like a signal…not of the resolve he held deep in his heart to stay as far away from this rising conflict, but instead it beckoned the the new heights of his tension…the precarious balancing act between the light and the dark that he continued to struggle with as each day passed. Ben was like an old fashioned kettle, somehow still full to the brim, even though some of the steam had forced its way out of him.

Ben closed his eyes and centered himself in the endless woven tapestry of the Force, letting it guide him like a shimmering ribbon leading him down a darkened hallway. It bent and moved around him, pulling him further into the refracting beams of light and energy that connected every being on the planet. He tried to lose himself inside the warmth of it but was pulled down by the sharp claws of his darkness, ever-present and patiently waiting for the next moment to sink its venomous hooks into him. 

The darkness pulled him deeper, licking at the edges of his light, leeching it away bit by bit as Ben struggled to stay afloat. How did they get here, good men who became pawns of their oppressors, turning them into frightening monsters that made people cower at their feet. And how did Anakin get out? Ben staggered under the weight of it, unsure if he’d ever truly be free.

A cacophony of voices blanketed over him as Ben anchored his palms against the cool granite of his grandfather’s sarcophagus, swirling around him in a dizzying blur. He heard some more clearly than others and they surrounded him like they were beside him in the room.

_I’m a pilot, you know, and someday, I’m going to fly away from this place._

_You’re not all-powerful, Ani._

_I should be._

Ben felt the voices circulate right through his heart while the whispers grew louder in his mind, whispers tearing at his consciousness, all of them wanting to be heard all at once like there was a story of an entire lifetime to be told. 

_Why do I get the feeling you’re going to be the death of me?_

_Don’t say that, master. You’re the closest thing I have to a father._

A heavy surge of grief washed over Ben like ice crawling over his skin, sending a jarring shiver down his chest. He stuttered out a soft breath as the sorrow shifted on its axis, igniting into a slow, scorching rage. The darkness clawed at him, intoxicating in its potency as the whispers pulled him further down with every painful lance of anger.

It was darker and more powerful than anything he had experienced under Snoke’s tutelage. The heady temptation of the dark side and the electrifying power that curled at the tips of his finger tips. Ben knew that with it…by fully embracing that part of himself like Snoke wanted him to…he’d be able to crush his enemies in a single blow and release Rey from her gilded cage. But, at what cost?

_Stay in the Light, Ben…don’t let it do to you what it did to me…I didn’t realize until it was too late and I paid with a heavy cost…_

A deep, metallic voice not unlike his own from behind his obsidian mask, reverberated out, intertwining itself in the beams of energy and light around him as the desperate pleas of a beautiful woman sent an agonizing lance of heartbreaking grief directly into his heart,

_Anakin, all I want is your love._

_Love won’t save you, Padme. Only my new powers can._

_At what cost? You’re a good person…don’t do this…_

_The Jedi turned against me, don’t you turn against me!_

Ben could feel how she mourned for him, the tiny seed of hope she held that had flickered dangerously like a candle in a cold wind until finally, it evaporated into thin air as the darkness consumed him entirely.

_I don’t know you anymore…Anakin, you’re breaking my heart. You’re going down a path I can’t follow._

_Because of what you’ve done, what you plan to do. Stop…stop now and come back…I love you!_

Ben dropped to his knees under the heavy weight of it all, falling into the deep depths of the darkness and the grief that fueled it as the image of a serene young woman with white flowers in her hair flashed behind his eyes. The softness of her still features as she laid in a bed of dark shimmer silk and delicate pink flowers weren’t dissimilar to how the memory of Rey held fast in his mind from just the night before. The quiet beauty of their slumber was breathtaking in a way, hovering between sleep and death…perhaps both. 

_Don’t lose yourself to the dark. It takes what it wants and its taken so much already from you, Grandson. Don’t let it take any more… Cling to your light and follow it to the stars. Claim what’s yours and free more than just her. Free yourself. Free the galaxy. Do what I couldn’t and bring peace to the galaxy. It’s time to rise._

All at once, the voices in his mind began to quiet, settling down onto the dust at his feet. Ben let out a shaky sigh while he reverently ran his palm over the name emblazoned into the stone. 

Is this truly what it would take? It would be a lie to say that Ben hadn’t thought about his birthright other than the fact that he never wanted it, but never if he _should_. He remembered with the smallest of smiles something his mother had told him. 

He might have been twelve or thirteen at the time and sullen beyond belief, griping about how little he saw either of his parents and how, if they loved him at all, they’d give up the duties that kept them away and be with him.

Leia had sighed softly and reached up with the tips of her fingers to pull a ribbon of his dark hair between her fingers with a distant smile,

_You know I love you and if love were enough for the entire galaxy, I’d be here in a heartbeat. You’re strong. You don’t need me, you never really have,” she murmured, cupping his cheek with the soft skin of her palm, “I love you more than anyone has loved a living thing, Ben. I am so proud of you…of how strong you are. Sometimes I wish you needed me as much as they do. That’s the problem between love and duty…it’s the difference between doing what is easy and what is right. I hope that you can figure out how to have both…create a balance between the two. I’m certain that, with the right kind of love in your life, it will be easier than you think._

Balance.

Ben rolled the word over in his mind as he pulled himself to stand from his knees. Rey had pleaded with him for the pair of them to pursue finding balance together within the force. His mother said it. Luke. It was a bright thread woven into the tapestry of his life, finding its way back to him over and over. 

Was it even possible? Something he could achieve? How did he know which way was the right way to go about it. His destiny was standing right in front of him…and unwanted birthright and necessary duty that had been waiting for him. All this time and all Ben did was stand around and wait, extending the cold grip that was the might of the First Order. 

He wouldn’t have been ready then, still a lost boy in his heart. Ben rarely felt that way any longer, tethered to the safety of her light even now as she peacefully slumbered into infinity. 

Stepping out into the fragile beams of sunlight that began to shine their way through the clouds, Ben couldn’t help but compare them to the sky…Ben was the dark and the gloom and Rey the beamingly bright rays of sunshine that broke through the darkness to reveal what was hiding behind the dark façade. 

He lingered for a moment with his palm against the cool stone door, letting his flesh rest against the combined crests beneath his hand. Maybe he was right. It was time to rise and accept what his whole entire life had been leading up to. He’d help her by helping everyone…it would be what she wanted, of that, Ben was certain. He wouldn’t let her down and he’d make them proud.

Ben made his way back through the elegantly cobblestoned streets, passing by friendly venders with colorful flowers and trinkets and children who’d stepped past their thresholds to play in the blooming sunshine. 

When the dark prince made his way back to the Theed Royal Palace, he felt resolute in his decision, his heart as steady as his footsteps as he climbed up the grand staircase. He wasn’t going to allow the First Order to keep their hooks in the galaxy. 

He stepped through the towering stone arches into the main palace foyer, lifting his eyes to marvel at the pair of grand, marble staircases in front of him. There were no doors throughout the main chambers of the palace, designed to bring a sense of openness and peace for the Queen and all her political advisors. 

Stepping up onto the brilliantly white stone steps, Ben made his way up into the largest domed chamber of the palace, imagining what this place would have looked like when his grandmother had ruled here. The golden dome towered overhead, held aloft by massive stone pillars that were intricately carved from stem to stern. Elegantly arching windows circled the rounded room, letting brilliant beams of sunlight stream through in delicate bands onto the artfully designed floor. A blend of muted grey, brilliant reds and gleaming golds made up a grand circular design. 

At the center of it all was a wide, half moon-shaped throne set behind a wide desk with a handful of smaller, gold chairs perched around the perimeter. 

Ben stepped into the circle and up to the throne that belonged to the Queen of Naboo. With a quiet smile, he trailed his fingers across the golden arms, tracing a small rectangle of what must have been a secret compartment that held weapons in case of an emergency. It warmed his heart to think that the young monarchs of this world, not unlike his own mother, were far more than their ornate costumes and grandiose palaces. They were tenacious, strong women, ready to fight for their people at a moment’s notice without a care for anything else, least of all themselves. 

That was the way his mother lived her life…duty before anything else, right up until her end. 

The sounds of footsteps echoing out and around the gilded ceiling drew Ben’s attention away as he lifted his eyes to an oncoming group of people. 

There were some he recognized, like the Admiral and Poe along with a few other Resistance members that all trailed behind the figure that lead the party up a small set of stairs and into the grandiose throne room. 

She was shorter than he would have imagined, nearly petite, but the Queen of Naboo carried herself with great height that commanded respect as soon as her presence entered into the chamber. Dressed from head to toe in the traditional garb of the Royal House of Naboo, Queen Korme Trualla practically gleamed as she stepped into the bright beams of sunlight that flooded into the room. 

The hem of her heavy gown grazed across the stone floor, rising to her waist in thick bends and folds of the dark swirls of glittering gold and red. Her hands, clasped in front of her waist were covered by crimson sleeves the covered her past her knuckles.

The craftsmanship of the dressmakers who expertly created the costume for her was outstanding, constructing dark, billowing sleeves around her shoulders that was delicately accented with more of the crimson and gold. Her face was painted a sheer white with only a set of red dots on either cheek with a ribbon of ruby red across her top lip and bisecting the bottom. 

The party elegantly swept into the throne room, practically paying no mind to Ben as he stood in the center of the domed room. Ben dipped his head and stepped aside so Queen Korme could easily breeze past him. When he lifted his eyes, Ben met her impassive face, practically stony in her regal appearance but he detected a subtle flicker of amusement behind her green eyes,

“Stand. Please,” she lifted her palm to encourage Ben to lift his head, the bright beams of light glinting off the gleaming gold headdress atop her head. It started at the center point between her brows and followed the curve of her head before flaring out around her like a golden halo. The queen motioned for him to follow her, turning on her heel to stride towards the throne. Ben quietly inspected the thick knot of white blonde braids, smiling to himself as he remembered carding his long fingers through Stardust’s hair to weave an Alderaanian braid into her chestnut waves. 

The Queen stepped in front of her throne and elegantly sank to her seat, “Welcome to Naboo, Lord Solo. You’ve been here for some time but I haven’t seen you before now…why?”

“I’ve…been preoccupied…uh, your majesty,” Ben winced. The word felt odd coming out of his mouth when he was addressing anyone who wasn’t Rey,

“I see,” the queen pressed on, “I’ve heard that you, yourself are Nubian?”

“My grandmother was Padme Amidala Naberrie.”

“Ah, our beloved queen and senator. I thought you might be. I remember hearing stories of your mother and the Alderaanians she brought here for refuge,” the regal queen mused, “What a beautiful thing, for her to bring her two worlds together.”

Ben let out a quiet sigh when the memory of his mother came up again, sending a dull ache spreading across his chest. There she was, showing him another sign of Fate’s will to push him towards his duty over and over. He quietly nodded and retreated to a circle just outside of the collection of chairs and leaned his shoulder against one of the towering pillars that held the gleaming dome aloft. 

The Resistance members joined the Nubian Royal Council and began quietly discussing the standing situation with the First Order,

“The last reports we have from the Inner Rim suggest that he’s taken refuge on Arkanis in the old Imperial Academy,” Poe stated.

“And his forces?” Admiral Holdo pressed, “We need to know what kind of numbers we’re facing,”

“He has four destroyers and the Supremacy at his disposable. All of them fully staffed with those, we assume are still loyal to the dirtbag,” Poe sniffed,

“We have remained in contact with our senator on Coruscant,” Queen Trualla interjected from her throne, “The senate is running smoothly…maybe even better than it did under Hux. Perhaps they could be of some help in the fight?”

“I’m not sure if they’d want to get involved,” Holdo said with a small shake of her purple hair, “How much time do we have until we can make this happen?”

Poe leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, weaving his fingers together before lifting his eyes up to meet the gaze of those around him,

“It’s hard to say. Things are quiet on Arkanis…for now. But…we’ve also had accounts of whole battalions of stormtroopers raiding small villages on the surrounding worlds. He’s up to something, Admiral. We’re going to need all the firepower we can get. No offense, Majesty,” Poe listed his dark eyes to meet the queen’s, “but I don’t think we’ll be getting much support by way of private donation…”

“What about the rest of them?” Ben pressed, pushing his shoulder from the cool stone of the pillar he’d been leaning on. All eyes in the room shifted to him, waiting expectantly for him to continue, “The rest of the Imperial Fleet. There has to be a reason they’d been left behind. I would bet all the credits I had to say that not all of the troops under his command were exactly what you called loyal…not to him, anyway.”

“How are we going to get them to help us? Our only piece that could get the fleet to help us is comatose down the hall,” Poe questioned,

“They love her, it’s true. But if love were enough, they would have fought back against him from the first time he had her snatched by the Guavian Death Gang. It’s simple, really…they’re still bound to duty. They need someone…a figurehead. Someone they trust. Someone who understands what it means to be under the thumb of the First Order.”

Poe’s eyes slowly widened as he brought himself to his feet, flicking his gaze momentarily to his side to meet Holdo’s in breathless anticipation,

“You mean…someone like you?” the pilot said quietly, testing the waters and waiting for Ben’s reply,

“I was thinking of Finn, actually,” Ben nodded past Poe’s shoulder to the face of the, now stunned, man he’d briefly met on Takodana, “But yeah. I’ll be there too.”

“You mean…”

“I’m here. And I’m ready to take back what’s mine.”

The room erupted into a sudden cacophony of whoops and yells and Ben was suddenly surrounded by dozens of excited arms reaching to pat his back or shake his hand. He could help but smile back at the gleeful faces that were wrapped around him until it quickly became too much and he found himself overwhelmed by it all.

Poe hooked his arm around his gargantuan childhood friend, tugging him down the hall with an apologetic wave,

“Okay okay, let’s give the poor guy some air. He just found out he’s going to be Emperor. Don’t overwhelm him or he might change his mind and go back to sulking in whatever hole he pulled himself from,” the pilot pulled Ben away, waiting until they were just out of earshot to clap his palm against his shoulder, “Are you sure? You haven’t ever felt ready before…why now?”

“For her,” Ben murmured, “It’s what she wanted and it’s the best way for me to help her now. If I help the galaxy in the process, even better.”

Poe’s brow lifted with a skeptical gaze,

“Oh, so you’re just going to bring about peace and balance in the galaxy for a girl, huh? Han would’ve loved that.”

Ben loosed a soft chuckle, giving a gentle shake of his dark hair,

“Yeah he would, but no more of doing things that way. We plan…we train. We make sure we’re ready. I guarantee Hux is doing the same thing as we speak.”

“Are you feeling okay? I swear I just heard a Solo say that he wanted to have a plan…” 

“I love her and I’m prepared to protect her…in any way that I can. My ways before were a little more-“

“Brash? Hard-headed?”

“More Solo than Organa, I’ll admit it. The best way for me to help her is to help you…I’m ready to step forward and do _whatever_ it takes to bring him down.”

The pair of them strode down the hall a few strides, their boot steps echoing in unison far above their heads in the resplendently arched stone ceiling. Poe stopped for a moment, reaching out to bring his hand to Ben’s arm. For the first time in a long time, Ben didn’t flinch and only looked down at his old friend.

The smaller man hesitated for a moment. The weight of the unspoken words abruptly tinged the air with a feeling that leeched away the brilliance of the sunshine that cascaded through the lofty window they stood next to,

“Ben,” Poe paused again to let out a heavy sigh, “I need you to open your eyes and see what’s coming…I…I think we need to be prepared that she might never come back. I know you want to save her…we all do, but it’s been so long. I’m not saying we need to give up hope…just that maybe it’s time to move on and move forward onto the task at hand.”

Ben blinked slowly down at Poe and let his eyes drift out past the the jade and sandstone colored city of Theed outside the window. His wide shoulders lifted and fell as he breathed a wearisome sigh that floated off like smoke in cold air, softly deflating him like a weight had been lifted but had left behind a grim melancholy instead of relief.

He had imagined it a thousand times…the moment when she’d open her eyes and murmur his name and he’d take her in his arms. Ben thought of holding her once again so many times that lately, it felt like a far-off dream and the future that he had begun to picture the life that was left for him as a broken, empty shell. No matter how badly he wanted to, he couldn’t control the ending of their story…Fate had brought them this far and, unfailingly cruel as always, it had brought it to a startling end. 

No. He couldn’t think like that any longer. Ben closed his eyes for a moment and steeled himself against the dark seed of doubt inside him. He opened his eyes and brought them back to Poe,

“I can’t. I have to have hope. She’ll come back…I have to believe that and you should too. You said she was the spark of the Resistance…so where’s your hope?”

“I-It’s…I don’t know, Ben. There’s so much at stake, I just…l…”

“Hope is like the sun,” Ben implored his old friend, letting the words of his mother lift them in the way they all needed the most, “If you only believe in it when you can see it…”

“You’ll never make it through the night…I know,” Poe sighed, “I’m trying…”

“We…I just need more time. Give her more time…we can’t give up hope yet.”

Poe patted his arm with a distant smile,

“Go on, Romeo. Be with her. I know where to find you when we need you.”

Ben turned away from the window and made his way down the lengthy hallway to where Rey was peacefully tucked away, far from the political hum at the center of the palace. From the doorway, the lavish bedroom practically glowed from the candescent rays of daylight glimmered across every glittering surface. It was quieter than it was before. Ben stepped softly with his boots across the marble floor, drawing his eyes over the pair of figures at the center of the room. 

Rey laid, resplendently serene in the soft light of day, her hands gently folded together over her heart. Ben felt the corners of his mouth lift against his will, helpless against the ache that bloomed in his heart when he saw her. He let out a soft chuckle when he saw Rose, determined and loyal to her Empress in her every moment…even now as she laid with her head beside Rey with her arms serving as a pillow. 

Ben softly prodded her shoulder with a sliver of unease as he tried not to startle her,

“Hey…Rose…” he hissed. The small woman wrinkled her nose and shifted the weight of her head. Ben let a frustrated breath _whoosh_ past his lips as he lifted his hand to give her a firmer shake, “Please don’t shock me with that thing… _Rose. Wake up…_ ”

Rose lifted her head suddenly, blinking back the bright white light as Ben jumped back suddenly,

“What is it?” she rubbed her eyes with a wide yawn, “Stars, I didn’t mean to fall asleep…I’m so sorry!”

Ben stepped forward with his palms in the air,

“It’s okay…I think I’ve got it from here, why don’t you go get some rest?”

She stretched her arms over her head with another, even wider yawn that threatened to involuntarily pull one from Ben,

“Mmm, okay. I think that’s probably smart,” she sleepily stood from her chair and patted Ben’s shoulder, “You take care of her, big guy.”

Ben let out an amused chuckle and watched Rose trudge her way through the door, pausing to give him a small wave before disappearing around the corner. 

He settled himself into the chair beside her bed and reached out to lift one of her hands into his. Turning it over, Ben trailed the fingers of his free hand between each of the freckles that made up the map of the stars on her supple skin before leaving a lingering kiss against it. 

There was no other way than to keep the faith and hold onto the hope that she’d come back. It was in the memory of her smile, the touch of her hand and the way the golden flecks of stardust amongst the green in her eyes glittered when he looked at her. 

He tucked her hand against the jagged scar that bisected his cheek with a crestfallen smile and waited. They’d waited for fifteen years to find each other after the First Order had torn them apart when they were both children and he’d wait longer than that now if he had to. She was worth every second. 

Blinking lazily in the warm light that had shifted in the moments since he’d sat down, Ben’s eyes grew heavier as his gaze lingered on her, intently watching the steady rise and fall of her chest. His mind began to drift, getting caught in a carousel of thoughts and memories as every moment they’d spent together replayed in his head. Every fleeting thought and wayward glance…every possibility of a future…Ben reached for it with every fiber of his being, slowly closing his eyes as the light began to fade away.

He could have sworn that he had merely closed his eyes for a second, but when Ben open his eyes, the light in the room had changed, covering every surface in a fiery blend of orange and gold. Letting out a low hum, Ben shifted his head against the dark sleeves of his jacket, leaning into the touch of the fingertips that slowly carded through his dark hair. 

Each lingering motion filled him with an unexplainable sense of peace and comfort that calmed the storms in his heart. He let out a low _whoosh_ of air past his lips as he tried to blink the sleep from his eyes while he centered himself in the luxurious and warm feeling of the hands in his hair. Drifting slowly away, he swore he heard a feathery voice murmur his name into the dimming light. He let out low hum as he was sent adrift on the soothing feeling when the dulcet voice rang out again, but this time, it didn’t’ sound like a dream…

“Ben.” 

The whisper lingered in the air like a snowflake on the wind. His heart lurched in his chest, suddenly beating frantically as he slowly lifted his broad shoulders from the ivory bedspread. Ben mashed his mouth together into a thin, his chin shaking while a single tear slipped down his cheek when honeyed-amber met stardust.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! I’m sorry I left you hanging on there for so long! Vanity Fair dropped the Rise of Skywalker covers this morning and I suddenly found this chapter pouring out of me!
> 
> It is a _beautiful_ day to be a Reylo!
> 
> A huge thank you and shoutout to my TWD fam without whom, you’d be reading chapter 10 right now. I wouldn’t be able to accomplish half as much without your support!! 
> 
> Come say hi on Twitter and Tumblr, I am kaybohls on both!!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all so much for reading!! Comments and kudos are very much appreciated!!
> 
> xxxooo


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